<![CDATA[Beqanna - Echo Trails]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/ Sat, 25 Apr 2026 21:58:30 +0000 MyBB <![CDATA[you make my heart go bang; birthing]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=10004 Mon, 01 Aug 2016 16:02:02 +0000 Daeryssa]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=10004
I never knew this side of me, I never felt this way before.
This time was much less private. Which, can I just say? Awkward as hell. Don’t get me wrong, I love being so loved. By every single person who lives here. That’s wonderful. But holy shit, there are things a girl doesn’t need an audience for. And I love my Halo girl, but she was a little bit too interested and excited and all up in my business. Thank god Drow and Zurry stepped in and redirected her energetic enthusiasm and ushered their pack of girls to a more comfortable distance. The sympathetic, apologetic smile on Drow’s face was enough to coax my lips into a little echoing smile, which was quickly erased by a grimace as another contraction hit.

I still felt too naked, too exposed. Until Tycho reached out and touched his nose to my shoulder, drawing my attention, and then nodded toward a nearby willow tree. The draping branches with their new leaves offered a screen of privacy, a quiet little sheltered area where the four of us could retreat to and I could feel...more secure. My clever, clever boy.

I gave birth to my second child beneath the shade of that willow tree, a perfect little girl with my blue coat and Pazuzu’s gorgeous black hair, and her grandma’s golden eyes. It was easier this time, faster and less absolutely terrifying. And I wasn’t alone. Not that I really had been last time, but I’d thought I was. And touch made so much difference. I felt anchored in their love, in the gentle touch of my lover’s lips to my skin and his steady assurance that he was there and everything was going to be alright, the warm glow of my mother’s healing energy washing over me, the quiet presence of my son standing beside me and letting me lean just a little on him now and then.

I was so nervous the last few weeks, knowing this day was coming. But now? Now she’s here, she’s really here. Sweaty and exhausted, I haul myself to my feet to go clean her off and just...just look at her. I could look at her forever. Tycho is already sniffing her and nuzzling her face by the time I get to her, and it melts my already pretty damn gooey heart. But he backs away to give me space to tend to his little sister and breathe in the new baby scent of her. “Hello, my little love.”

I look over at Pazuzu with the softest smile on my face and beckon him over. I feel like I should be glowing somehow, so full of love and happiness it should be radiating out of me for the whole world to see. “Come meet our daughter, love. Would...would you like to name her?”
You make my heart go bang, and I know that we've only begun.
]]>
I never knew this side of me, I never felt this way before.
This time was much less private. Which, can I just say? Awkward as hell. Don’t get me wrong, I love being so loved. By every single person who lives here. That’s wonderful. But holy shit, there are things a girl doesn’t need an audience for. And I love my Halo girl, but she was a little bit too interested and excited and all up in my business. Thank god Drow and Zurry stepped in and redirected her energetic enthusiasm and ushered their pack of girls to a more comfortable distance. The sympathetic, apologetic smile on Drow’s face was enough to coax my lips into a little echoing smile, which was quickly erased by a grimace as another contraction hit.

I still felt too naked, too exposed. Until Tycho reached out and touched his nose to my shoulder, drawing my attention, and then nodded toward a nearby willow tree. The draping branches with their new leaves offered a screen of privacy, a quiet little sheltered area where the four of us could retreat to and I could feel...more secure. My clever, clever boy.

I gave birth to my second child beneath the shade of that willow tree, a perfect little girl with my blue coat and Pazuzu’s gorgeous black hair, and her grandma’s golden eyes. It was easier this time, faster and less absolutely terrifying. And I wasn’t alone. Not that I really had been last time, but I’d thought I was. And touch made so much difference. I felt anchored in their love, in the gentle touch of my lover’s lips to my skin and his steady assurance that he was there and everything was going to be alright, the warm glow of my mother’s healing energy washing over me, the quiet presence of my son standing beside me and letting me lean just a little on him now and then.

I was so nervous the last few weeks, knowing this day was coming. But now? Now she’s here, she’s really here. Sweaty and exhausted, I haul myself to my feet to go clean her off and just...just look at her. I could look at her forever. Tycho is already sniffing her and nuzzling her face by the time I get to her, and it melts my already pretty damn gooey heart. But he backs away to give me space to tend to his little sister and breathe in the new baby scent of her. “Hello, my little love.”

I look over at Pazuzu with the softest smile on my face and beckon him over. I feel like I should be glowing somehow, so full of love and happiness it should be radiating out of me for the whole world to see. “Come meet our daughter, love. Would...would you like to name her?”
You make my heart go bang, and I know that we've only begun.
]]> <![CDATA[i will ruin you, i promise;]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=10003 Mon, 01 Aug 2016 15:16:01 +0000 Maul]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=10003
this is the story of how, when the wolves knocked,
i met them at the door and i became the beast instead.
I knew something was wrong.

She spoke softly, too softly for my mother—it startled me to see a woman who had been so loud, so brash and open for as long as I’d known her reduced to something so broken and quiet. She didn’t seem to want to look me in the eye, then I noticed the tears bristling around the edges of her own eyes that she was quick to blink back. I automatically assumed the worst. At least, I thought I did. I thought maybe she had found him dead somewhere—not... not off fucking someone else, not off making another family and acting as if nothing was wrong. As if he had forgotten about us. Mother was kind, too kind; she never said one bad thing about him, but I didn’t hear her reprimand me when I growled out: “That. Fucking. Bastard.”

I couldn’t stay, I knew I couldn’t. I marched past my mother without word—and I regret that, because I didn’t think about her when I should have and I couldn’t take it back hours later when I was heading in the direction of the only family I knew I had left. Anni was never fucking around when I needed her; wherever she was, though, I half-hoped she stayed there and didn’t come back. I didn’t want her dealing with this, too.

I didn’t want her to know that he didn’t want us.

He… he didn’t want us.

I’m pretty sure the moment that sank in was the exact moment that I also wanted to fucking kill him. And that wasn’t something I thought about lightly, either; I wasn’t the sort of girl that made empty threats and I changed course several times, constantly torn between heading to Echo Trails or The Chamber. In the end, I decided it was best to go to Echo Trails first and that was when the tears started coming down hard. Thick, hot angry tears that made me bite my tongue and then my cheek to try to stop them from falling before I finally gave up.

I needed to see my Grandmother Willow.

We are not a weak bunch, but I felt weak when I suddenly needed her and she was so far out of my reach; I needed someone that wasn’t mom or Anni, I needed someone that could make sense of all the hurt and anger that was burning me down from the inside-out. I think, deep down, I just wanted someone to calm me down—to talk me out of it—did I really want to kill him, was it really worth it—but then I realized that no matter what anyone said they would never really talk me out of it.

I wanted so badly to kill him that I could practically taste it.

“Fucking bastard,” I half-whispered, half-sobbed, slipping across the border without so much as a call to announce my presence. I wasn’t some prissy fuck, after all, here to be at the beck and call of some overbearing stallion; I was here to see my Grandmother Willow, I wanted to be wrapped up in her embrace so tight that I felt like she’d never let me go. I wanted to see my Uncle Drow and soak in all of his mad, hostile wisdom. I wanted to visit my Auntie Ryss, who Anni and I had always loved fiercely. I missed her. I missed all of them and I knew they wouldn’t turn me away.

Not with the way I looked right now, anyways.
MAUL
gendry x arrya
]]>
this is the story of how, when the wolves knocked,
i met them at the door and i became the beast instead.
I knew something was wrong.

She spoke softly, too softly for my mother—it startled me to see a woman who had been so loud, so brash and open for as long as I’d known her reduced to something so broken and quiet. She didn’t seem to want to look me in the eye, then I noticed the tears bristling around the edges of her own eyes that she was quick to blink back. I automatically assumed the worst. At least, I thought I did. I thought maybe she had found him dead somewhere—not... not off fucking someone else, not off making another family and acting as if nothing was wrong. As if he had forgotten about us. Mother was kind, too kind; she never said one bad thing about him, but I didn’t hear her reprimand me when I growled out: “That. Fucking. Bastard.”

I couldn’t stay, I knew I couldn’t. I marched past my mother without word—and I regret that, because I didn’t think about her when I should have and I couldn’t take it back hours later when I was heading in the direction of the only family I knew I had left. Anni was never fucking around when I needed her; wherever she was, though, I half-hoped she stayed there and didn’t come back. I didn’t want her dealing with this, too.

I didn’t want her to know that he didn’t want us.

He… he didn’t want us.

I’m pretty sure the moment that sank in was the exact moment that I also wanted to fucking kill him. And that wasn’t something I thought about lightly, either; I wasn’t the sort of girl that made empty threats and I changed course several times, constantly torn between heading to Echo Trails or The Chamber. In the end, I decided it was best to go to Echo Trails first and that was when the tears started coming down hard. Thick, hot angry tears that made me bite my tongue and then my cheek to try to stop them from falling before I finally gave up.

I needed to see my Grandmother Willow.

We are not a weak bunch, but I felt weak when I suddenly needed her and she was so far out of my reach; I needed someone that wasn’t mom or Anni, I needed someone that could make sense of all the hurt and anger that was burning me down from the inside-out. I think, deep down, I just wanted someone to calm me down—to talk me out of it—did I really want to kill him, was it really worth it—but then I realized that no matter what anyone said they would never really talk me out of it.

I wanted so badly to kill him that I could practically taste it.

“Fucking bastard,” I half-whispered, half-sobbed, slipping across the border without so much as a call to announce my presence. I wasn’t some prissy fuck, after all, here to be at the beck and call of some overbearing stallion; I was here to see my Grandmother Willow, I wanted to be wrapped up in her embrace so tight that I felt like she’d never let me go. I wanted to see my Uncle Drow and soak in all of his mad, hostile wisdom. I wanted to visit my Auntie Ryss, who Anni and I had always loved fiercely. I missed her. I missed all of them and I knew they wouldn’t turn me away.

Not with the way I looked right now, anyways.
MAUL
gendry x arrya
]]> <![CDATA[Quark my dear]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9833 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 13:10:33 +0000 Tiernan]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9833
TIERNAN

we learn to dive by choosing to fall

He doesn't know what calls him back to Beqanna but he can feel the need in his bones, in his gut. So he turns from his travels, turns back from his large ever-growing family of wilds out on his emerald isle to return to the land where his daughter roamed. Where he had tried and failed twice to make a herd life. He had comes to terms with it, managed to shrug off the feeling of disappointment and failure so that he could live.

Lessons had been learned and he had moved on.

He was back and it felt weird. Felt like he had to resettle into his skin. Magic ran so thick through even the air here that it always made him need a minute to resettle. The first time had he had crossed the borders he had found it...-

Quark? His brown eyes blinked as he saw the sunshine mare slide through the trees. She shifted and was soon in the air, flying towards the east. And so, as the sun sat high in the sky, he made his way through the snow and ice to follow her. It had been years since he had last seen her, since her lover had turned her into something else. Since she had seen nothing but pain and anger and resentment at it all. She was not burning this time.

He picks his pace up a little when the ground is clear of snow beneath him. When the snow crunches and crackles beneath his hooves he keeps a steady pace. He soon loses her, but follows the same direction, skirting around other herdlands until he comes to one that is thick with her scent and...other's scents.

He pauses at the edge of the boundary, smelling more than one male scent and the scents of a multitude of different females. All those were fainter, older than the males' whos' scents saturated the boundary...as well as Quark's. They were preparing for something, but he wasn't sure what.

However he is still hesitant to just cross a boundary so heavily....Fuck it. He slides past it, somehow managing to stumble into her scent, so fresh it is likely where she landed and changed back to horse form. He picks up his pace, ears pricked and listening, eyes sliding over the foliage until he finds her, golden (still) against the white background. And he smiles, stilling.

"Hello mo maise." He says, "Have you missed me?" His irish brogue full of the smile that curls his lips.

]]>
TIERNAN

we learn to dive by choosing to fall

He doesn't know what calls him back to Beqanna but he can feel the need in his bones, in his gut. So he turns from his travels, turns back from his large ever-growing family of wilds out on his emerald isle to return to the land where his daughter roamed. Where he had tried and failed twice to make a herd life. He had comes to terms with it, managed to shrug off the feeling of disappointment and failure so that he could live.

Lessons had been learned and he had moved on.

He was back and it felt weird. Felt like he had to resettle into his skin. Magic ran so thick through even the air here that it always made him need a minute to resettle. The first time had he had crossed the borders he had found it...-

Quark? His brown eyes blinked as he saw the sunshine mare slide through the trees. She shifted and was soon in the air, flying towards the east. And so, as the sun sat high in the sky, he made his way through the snow and ice to follow her. It had been years since he had last seen her, since her lover had turned her into something else. Since she had seen nothing but pain and anger and resentment at it all. She was not burning this time.

He picks his pace up a little when the ground is clear of snow beneath him. When the snow crunches and crackles beneath his hooves he keeps a steady pace. He soon loses her, but follows the same direction, skirting around other herdlands until he comes to one that is thick with her scent and...other's scents.

He pauses at the edge of the boundary, smelling more than one male scent and the scents of a multitude of different females. All those were fainter, older than the males' whos' scents saturated the boundary...as well as Quark's. They were preparing for something, but he wasn't sure what.

However he is still hesitant to just cross a boundary so heavily....Fuck it. He slides past it, somehow managing to stumble into her scent, so fresh it is likely where she landed and changed back to horse form. He picks up his pace, ears pricked and listening, eyes sliding over the foliage until he finds her, golden (still) against the white background. And he smiles, stilling.

"Hello mo maise." He says, "Have you missed me?" His irish brogue full of the smile that curls his lips.

]]> <![CDATA[chain of the demons; father]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9768 Sat, 23 Jul 2016 15:51:55 +0000 Tycho]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9768
Chain of the demons set free, strange alchemy...
I do not know how long I have been gone. Normally I am much better about keeping track of time, checking in so Father and Mother do not worry. Though I suppose, normally my time away isn’t spent screaming in agony as demons made of ice claw their way through my skin. I tend more toward thorough, categorical exploration of a new location or environment. Well, a cage made of demonic ice is, technically speaking, a new environment. And perhaps pressing against ice that somehow caused pain nerves to fire out of control, far outside of any logical bounds for exposure to frozen water could account for.

Perhaps, then, it is understandable that I do not know how much time has passed since I left my guardian behind at the edge of Echo Trails and set out on my own. Curious, how high levels of pain distort perception. Even now, I do not know how long I have been walking across vast stretches of ice. Each touch of demon claws to my skin burned, cauterizing the wounds even as they sliced through the flesh of my chest, my flank. Trailing down my neck like a caress, coaxing screams from my throat until my voice was broken and raw. With every step, the damaged skin stretches and pulls, blurring my vision and making it nearly impossible to focus. The only thought left in my head is home, and I stumble in what I think is the right direction.

I should know. It should be obvious based on landmarks, the shape of hills, the curve of the river, the angles and planes of the earth, but I can’t think. If I stopped, maybe the haze would clear enough that I could impartially study my surroundings and confirm that I am navigating properly toward home. However. A question buzzes inside my skull, data points synthesizing themselves on autopilot until a reasonable conclusion presents itself: if I stop, I will not be able to start moving again. For once, this is a hypothesis I do not wish to test.

The instant I trip across the border to my family’s territory, the shadow panther is there, glowing green eyes flaring with rage and admonition. I should not have left him behind, those eyes say. He could have protected me, or if he was not enough defense, he could have summoned my father. I am too spent to argue with my friend that I am not a child in need of constant minding, especially when the evidence is stacked so staggeringly high against me.

Instead, I fall into him, letting the shadows that compose his body wrap around me. I am home. I am safe. Now I can finally stop fighting, dragging myself across--when did I leave ice behind? When did my hooves step off that vast stretch of frozen wasteland and onto earth? I don’t remember, and when I look back there is nothing to see. That’s okay. Lifting my head requires far too much work anyhow.
]]>
Chain of the demons set free, strange alchemy...
I do not know how long I have been gone. Normally I am much better about keeping track of time, checking in so Father and Mother do not worry. Though I suppose, normally my time away isn’t spent screaming in agony as demons made of ice claw their way through my skin. I tend more toward thorough, categorical exploration of a new location or environment. Well, a cage made of demonic ice is, technically speaking, a new environment. And perhaps pressing against ice that somehow caused pain nerves to fire out of control, far outside of any logical bounds for exposure to frozen water could account for.

Perhaps, then, it is understandable that I do not know how much time has passed since I left my guardian behind at the edge of Echo Trails and set out on my own. Curious, how high levels of pain distort perception. Even now, I do not know how long I have been walking across vast stretches of ice. Each touch of demon claws to my skin burned, cauterizing the wounds even as they sliced through the flesh of my chest, my flank. Trailing down my neck like a caress, coaxing screams from my throat until my voice was broken and raw. With every step, the damaged skin stretches and pulls, blurring my vision and making it nearly impossible to focus. The only thought left in my head is home, and I stumble in what I think is the right direction.

I should know. It should be obvious based on landmarks, the shape of hills, the curve of the river, the angles and planes of the earth, but I can’t think. If I stopped, maybe the haze would clear enough that I could impartially study my surroundings and confirm that I am navigating properly toward home. However. A question buzzes inside my skull, data points synthesizing themselves on autopilot until a reasonable conclusion presents itself: if I stop, I will not be able to start moving again. For once, this is a hypothesis I do not wish to test.

The instant I trip across the border to my family’s territory, the shadow panther is there, glowing green eyes flaring with rage and admonition. I should not have left him behind, those eyes say. He could have protected me, or if he was not enough defense, he could have summoned my father. I am too spent to argue with my friend that I am not a child in need of constant minding, especially when the evidence is stacked so staggeringly high against me.

Instead, I fall into him, letting the shadows that compose his body wrap around me. I am home. I am safe. Now I can finally stop fighting, dragging myself across--when did I leave ice behind? When did my hooves step off that vast stretch of frozen wasteland and onto earth? I don’t remember, and when I look back there is nothing to see. That’s okay. Lifting my head requires far too much work anyhow.
]]> <![CDATA[Oooh Drow!]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9752 Sat, 23 Jul 2016 01:21:07 +0000 Pazuzu]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9752
"Evil requires no reason."
I had been otherwise involved since the birth of the girls. Ryss had taken my attention more than once and Tycho of course. And I have been busy mentally keeping any eye on the tiny little baby growing in Ryss's womb. Or watching the girls so Drow and Zur could have a moment of peace...no, I just really liked watching them play. I would give Halo the ability to purr like a kitten if I could. She is always rubbing against me and smiling and in general just ready to get into some mischief.

Which I might always be up for.

I had taken the girls on trips like I had taken Tycho. We went to the Moon and we traveled galaxies. I kept a close eye on my kitten. If anyone were to fall into the Sun, it would have been her. I don't take them far when we travel through space. I wouldn't want to disturb anything, and it takes more out of me than it used to. Before Quark and I magicked them into existence. I would never complain, but I could still feel the itching of that darkness beneath my skin. I could hear its whispers at night when I was curled against Ryss and she was asleep. I would lay there, fighting it as I kept my eyes on the two forms I love more than anything.

They would never know how many times they have saved me from the Darkness. It is a breathing thing? No, but it was there. It was alive. And it was much more persistent than the Light. Balance was needed. I was holding onto too much. A life for a life and I would have to figure out a way to make this happen before too much more time passed. Three beings would have to die....I just needed to find the right three. Perhaps it was time for a visit to the Beach.

But Drow has patiently been waiting for me. So I slip from Halo's side, where I had been laying with the girls. They had wanted a story and so I had settled in next to them to tell them a story about Vikings and their ships and feuds. Halo was practically laying on me, so when I got up she shifted back into the cuddle pile of her sisters and I can only smile. I touch them all, but I linger on my kitten a little longer before going to find Drow. There was something he had been wanting to talk to me about for a while now.

So when I find him. It's no surprise that Zur is there and he smiles, touching my shoulder before going the way I had come to his three girls. We took turns watching over them when they were asleep, mostly, I think, because it was just peaceful to watch them. It was refreshing to watch those bundles of fur and legs sleep and dream. I nod slightly, turning to watch Zur leave before I turn back to the massive stallion before me. It always mused me thinking of other things.....No...now is not the time.

"You rang?" I say with a smirk.

pazuzu
]]>
"Evil requires no reason."
I had been otherwise involved since the birth of the girls. Ryss had taken my attention more than once and Tycho of course. And I have been busy mentally keeping any eye on the tiny little baby growing in Ryss's womb. Or watching the girls so Drow and Zur could have a moment of peace...no, I just really liked watching them play. I would give Halo the ability to purr like a kitten if I could. She is always rubbing against me and smiling and in general just ready to get into some mischief.

Which I might always be up for.

I had taken the girls on trips like I had taken Tycho. We went to the Moon and we traveled galaxies. I kept a close eye on my kitten. If anyone were to fall into the Sun, it would have been her. I don't take them far when we travel through space. I wouldn't want to disturb anything, and it takes more out of me than it used to. Before Quark and I magicked them into existence. I would never complain, but I could still feel the itching of that darkness beneath my skin. I could hear its whispers at night when I was curled against Ryss and she was asleep. I would lay there, fighting it as I kept my eyes on the two forms I love more than anything.

They would never know how many times they have saved me from the Darkness. It is a breathing thing? No, but it was there. It was alive. And it was much more persistent than the Light. Balance was needed. I was holding onto too much. A life for a life and I would have to figure out a way to make this happen before too much more time passed. Three beings would have to die....I just needed to find the right three. Perhaps it was time for a visit to the Beach.

But Drow has patiently been waiting for me. So I slip from Halo's side, where I had been laying with the girls. They had wanted a story and so I had settled in next to them to tell them a story about Vikings and their ships and feuds. Halo was practically laying on me, so when I got up she shifted back into the cuddle pile of her sisters and I can only smile. I touch them all, but I linger on my kitten a little longer before going to find Drow. There was something he had been wanting to talk to me about for a while now.

So when I find him. It's no surprise that Zur is there and he smiles, touching my shoulder before going the way I had come to his three girls. We took turns watching over them when they were asleep, mostly, I think, because it was just peaceful to watch them. It was refreshing to watch those bundles of fur and legs sleep and dream. I nod slightly, turning to watch Zur leave before I turn back to the massive stallion before me. It always mused me thinking of other things.....No...now is not the time.

"You rang?" I say with a smirk.

pazuzu
]]> <![CDATA[you make my heart go bang; pazuzu]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9636 Wed, 20 Jul 2016 09:29:15 +0000 Daeryssa]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9636
Just stay away from the white light. I'd say your worst side's your best side.
Fuck, those three little girls are perfect. Tiny fluffy angels with a little bit of the devil in their eyes. I was lost the moment Halo looked up at me and that impish grin of hers spread across her face. Drow says she looks just like he did when he was little, and I find that hard to believe. Pale as moonlight, just a little bit darker around her eyes and her lips, how the hell does that shed out to slick obsidian, black just tinted with a hint of brown? But I remember he did used to be lighter.

When I was a baby, he was something closer to the mocha shade of our late mother’s body, a blend of the intermingled brown and ash of her mane. His coat was a few shades darker by the time I was a yearling, and so often sporting fresh wounds, scars already tracing their intricate patterns across his skin. God, and when Mom died. We came so close to losing him that night, after so many years of him tearing himself apart trying in his messed up way to bring her home.

To be good enough for her.

These girls are never going to wonder if they’re good enough for their daddy. He’s a good man, my brother. A good father. And he’s so fucking happy it makes my heart ache. God, he should always be this happy. And my Pazuzu made it possible. My gorgeous, sexy as fuck, amazing Zuzu brought these three beautiful girls into the world for Drow and Zur. God, I could kiss him. Do. Regularly. But I could right now too, just looking at the beautiful gift he gave our family. His family too, and that feels like truth now. They’re his too, not just mine. And he’s theirs. It’s all so perfect.

Ugh, did I mention nursing makes me sappy as fuck?

Halo bumps her tiny little nose against my flank in thanks, licking her lips of the last drops of milk as she hums and walks forward to rub against my front legs. “Thanks, Auntie.” Her voice is a sleepy murmur, and I tuck her into a hug, holding her close to my chest while she yawns and rubs her face against me. “Love you,” she adds, kissing my cheek before she sneaks away to go curl up in a heap with her sleeping sisters.

I can feel the dopey grin on my face as I watch Halo wrap herself around Fury and drape her neck over Luna’s back. I can feel it, but I can’t make it go away. They’re adorable, they’re perfect, I love them so much I can barely breathe sometimes, and I want one.

Wait. Fuck. What?
Just when you think that you're alright, I'm crawling out from the inside.
Daeryssa
of the restless heart
]]>
Just stay away from the white light. I'd say your worst side's your best side.
Fuck, those three little girls are perfect. Tiny fluffy angels with a little bit of the devil in their eyes. I was lost the moment Halo looked up at me and that impish grin of hers spread across her face. Drow says she looks just like he did when he was little, and I find that hard to believe. Pale as moonlight, just a little bit darker around her eyes and her lips, how the hell does that shed out to slick obsidian, black just tinted with a hint of brown? But I remember he did used to be lighter.

When I was a baby, he was something closer to the mocha shade of our late mother’s body, a blend of the intermingled brown and ash of her mane. His coat was a few shades darker by the time I was a yearling, and so often sporting fresh wounds, scars already tracing their intricate patterns across his skin. God, and when Mom died. We came so close to losing him that night, after so many years of him tearing himself apart trying in his messed up way to bring her home.

To be good enough for her.

These girls are never going to wonder if they’re good enough for their daddy. He’s a good man, my brother. A good father. And he’s so fucking happy it makes my heart ache. God, he should always be this happy. And my Pazuzu made it possible. My gorgeous, sexy as fuck, amazing Zuzu brought these three beautiful girls into the world for Drow and Zur. God, I could kiss him. Do. Regularly. But I could right now too, just looking at the beautiful gift he gave our family. His family too, and that feels like truth now. They’re his too, not just mine. And he’s theirs. It’s all so perfect.

Ugh, did I mention nursing makes me sappy as fuck?

Halo bumps her tiny little nose against my flank in thanks, licking her lips of the last drops of milk as she hums and walks forward to rub against my front legs. “Thanks, Auntie.” Her voice is a sleepy murmur, and I tuck her into a hug, holding her close to my chest while she yawns and rubs her face against me. “Love you,” she adds, kissing my cheek before she sneaks away to go curl up in a heap with her sleeping sisters.

I can feel the dopey grin on my face as I watch Halo wrap herself around Fury and drape her neck over Luna’s back. I can feel it, but I can’t make it go away. They’re adorable, they’re perfect, I love them so much I can barely breathe sometimes, and I want one.

Wait. Fuck. What?
Just when you think that you're alright, I'm crawling out from the inside.
Daeryssa
of the restless heart
]]> <![CDATA[birthing]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9229 Sun, 03 Jul 2016 20:58:54 +0000 Pazuzu]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9229
Gods above I was so nervous. So fucking nervous. Just another first to add to my ever growing list. I didn't want to fuck these beautiful little girls up. I didn't want any of my darkness to trap itself inside their innocent souls. I stood there in the darkness, with the full moon above us. I find the yellow mare's presence a comfort. If anything happens she will keep them safe, she will keep the darkness from planting itself inside them. I knew the others were close, I knew they were watching and waiting. Tycho, Drow, Dara, Zur, and Ryss. My beautiful Ryss.

"For fuck sakes, get your shit together." I mumble to myself and draw my self up. I straighten my back, relax my muscles. I turn a black eye towards Quark. "Ready?" At her nod, I smile a little bit to myself. I draw the magic to us. I pull it from my depths, stirring things that were long better asleep. I struggle with them for a moment, a red sheen crossing my eyes, but I blink it away. It seems as if it lasts forever, but in reality I get them back under some semblance of control within a few seconds. Hardly any time at all in the scheme of things...something I hope goes unnoticed.

Since Ryss and Tycho, I have managed to keep the Darkness away, keep it tamed and content. I have managed to make it submit to me in ways I hadn't known I could before. Where blood and pain had fed it, with the screams of the helpless and their hopelessness that swamped them. Now it was fed with the light of our love, the seriousness in Tycho's gaze and the way Ryss looked at me. How I could drink her form in all day and never tire of it.

The magic makes the air thick and tickles my nose. It raises the hairs along my body like a large static charge. Adrenaline courses through my blood, through my veins setting them on fire and I laugh a moment in the pure joy of it. "Very well." I say, forgetting about them all and focusing solely on my task.

Well, scratch that. I turn to Quark. Tendrils of magic snaking through my mind to hers, visible things of black and touch her forehead and link her mind to my own. It flashes yellow and blue, swirling around our necks and I know she is there, I can feel her. She will watch and add anything I forget.

But I push the thoughts away, feeling only a slight tingling where she is watching, sitting there in my skull. I pull the magic up until it's almost uncomfortable. Pieces of the past float forwards, random things that turn into a silver blur of time. Gold pieces of the future add to the mix and the copper wire of the present wraps around them both. A metallic blur that twists before me.

(That yellow-blue bond between us flickers to black and then back again.)

Purple for mind. I pull it from Arzhur's and Drow's, tendrils of purple that is nothing more than the essence of what a mind is. Intelligence and emotions and all the things in between. Spirit was white, a perfect white that wraps itself around the mind, nestling inside it as well. And Body. Body was green, like that of the earth.

I pause, sweat beading my body. I take Quark's thoughts, I take whatever magic she sends my way and work it all into the spiral of color before us. "The elements." She says and I nod slightly, quickly.

Fire crackles to life before us. A bright inferno that rages against my control. I struggle with it, Darkness roaring to life within me. Let it burn, let them all burn. Revel in the destruction. Our bond black with the struggle. I am still as my eyes bore into the inferno before me. It reflects itself in my eyes and all I can hear are the words, the words to maim and kill, to let the world burn.

"Ryss." A soft voice says to me, one I'm not sure who it is (although I will know later it was Quark, reminding me with one word all that I would lose. I narrow my eyes at the fire, forcing it down into the spiral of color where it needed to be. "Fire for their passion, their drives, the spark in their souls.” I say aloud but it is quiet in the roar of the wind as it whips through. There is less of a struggle here, as I am ready for it and I wrestle it into submission before it has a chance to charm me with its words. "Air for the breath in their lungs, for the fluidity of life, the powers of the mind and all that it encompasses." A rumble around us as the ground starts to tremble and I pull the soil up into the spiral. Earth was gentle and quiet and happy to be the base of the form for their bodies. "Earth for their bodies, to give them the form that they will need in this world, stability, and their roots.” And water, finally water. I pull it from the plants and then I stop. There will be no death when they are born. Returning it, I pull the water from the ground. This takes a little more work. I am tiring as well and my mental muscles are fatiguing from this constant source of work. "Water to give them blood, emotion, and fluidity." I say, softly as the water spirals around the outside of colors.

"The Sun, the Moon, and the Shadows in between." I pull them all to me, taking the light from the moon and pulling rays from the other side of the world for them. I add the inbetween, the dusk and the dawn for Furia. The bright light of the sun for Halora. The paler rays of the moon for Lunasol.

Three by three. Forming a triangle so that their strength was in each other and stabilizing the other sides.
That was always a good sign.

I cannot even manage the smile that flashes through my mind as I watch the spiral before me form. I spin it faster....faster. Until it is nothing more than a blur of colors. The explosion from this will kill them all. The Dale most certainly. Perhaps even all the way to the Chamber. Our bond goes back to black, the only other outward sign of my struggle. The softly spoken voice spews such matter of fact words, I have a hard time resisting.

But once again Quark is there. "Tycho." I redouble my efforts one last time to force these into submission. The whirling of the spiral is stopped and in a clap of sound and a very bright light, there are three tiny bundles of legs and eyes and hair on the ground before me and Quark. I hold the magic as Quark adds their souls to their bodies, anchoring and growing them in a much shorter amount of time. "Blood and flesh." I say and only release it once they had all taken bits of flesh from their Daddies in the ritual rite Quark does. I have no extra effort to give here. I am careful with them, holding it for longer than I needed to make sure their forms stay stable.

I let it go when Quark nods, the release of it and the snapping of the bond between Quark and I is like a physical thing. I sway on my feet, the sweat of my body cooling and making me shiver. "No." I tell the yellow mare. "Magic like this has a price. I'll be fine." I turn my attention towards her, pulling it away from the smallish crater in their home. It would forever be marked that way, an indent in the ground where these three beautiful babies were born.

I smile at her. "Good job." I tell her, knowing that her pulling their souls and planting them in their bodies hadn't been the easiest of jobs. Our magics had worked together beautifully and whatever she hadn't been able to grasp I had given her. Which, was also, probably why I felt like I had been ran over. I slump a little, but still not daring to move until I felt less like falling on my face. A happy smile curls my lips as I watch the new Daddies and their little trio and Dara.

Then I turn to Ryss and Tycho and smile some more. "Hello loves." I sway into Ryss’s body,using her strength to hold us both up for just a brief moment before I am stabilized again. My gaze finds the girls and I smile. This was the most beautiful and notable thing I have ever done with this magic of mine.
]]>
Gods above I was so nervous. So fucking nervous. Just another first to add to my ever growing list. I didn't want to fuck these beautiful little girls up. I didn't want any of my darkness to trap itself inside their innocent souls. I stood there in the darkness, with the full moon above us. I find the yellow mare's presence a comfort. If anything happens she will keep them safe, she will keep the darkness from planting itself inside them. I knew the others were close, I knew they were watching and waiting. Tycho, Drow, Dara, Zur, and Ryss. My beautiful Ryss.

"For fuck sakes, get your shit together." I mumble to myself and draw my self up. I straighten my back, relax my muscles. I turn a black eye towards Quark. "Ready?" At her nod, I smile a little bit to myself. I draw the magic to us. I pull it from my depths, stirring things that were long better asleep. I struggle with them for a moment, a red sheen crossing my eyes, but I blink it away. It seems as if it lasts forever, but in reality I get them back under some semblance of control within a few seconds. Hardly any time at all in the scheme of things...something I hope goes unnoticed.

Since Ryss and Tycho, I have managed to keep the Darkness away, keep it tamed and content. I have managed to make it submit to me in ways I hadn't known I could before. Where blood and pain had fed it, with the screams of the helpless and their hopelessness that swamped them. Now it was fed with the light of our love, the seriousness in Tycho's gaze and the way Ryss looked at me. How I could drink her form in all day and never tire of it.

The magic makes the air thick and tickles my nose. It raises the hairs along my body like a large static charge. Adrenaline courses through my blood, through my veins setting them on fire and I laugh a moment in the pure joy of it. "Very well." I say, forgetting about them all and focusing solely on my task.

Well, scratch that. I turn to Quark. Tendrils of magic snaking through my mind to hers, visible things of black and touch her forehead and link her mind to my own. It flashes yellow and blue, swirling around our necks and I know she is there, I can feel her. She will watch and add anything I forget.

But I push the thoughts away, feeling only a slight tingling where she is watching, sitting there in my skull. I pull the magic up until it's almost uncomfortable. Pieces of the past float forwards, random things that turn into a silver blur of time. Gold pieces of the future add to the mix and the copper wire of the present wraps around them both. A metallic blur that twists before me.

(That yellow-blue bond between us flickers to black and then back again.)

Purple for mind. I pull it from Arzhur's and Drow's, tendrils of purple that is nothing more than the essence of what a mind is. Intelligence and emotions and all the things in between. Spirit was white, a perfect white that wraps itself around the mind, nestling inside it as well. And Body. Body was green, like that of the earth.

I pause, sweat beading my body. I take Quark's thoughts, I take whatever magic she sends my way and work it all into the spiral of color before us. "The elements." She says and I nod slightly, quickly.

Fire crackles to life before us. A bright inferno that rages against my control. I struggle with it, Darkness roaring to life within me. Let it burn, let them all burn. Revel in the destruction. Our bond black with the struggle. I am still as my eyes bore into the inferno before me. It reflects itself in my eyes and all I can hear are the words, the words to maim and kill, to let the world burn.

"Ryss." A soft voice says to me, one I'm not sure who it is (although I will know later it was Quark, reminding me with one word all that I would lose. I narrow my eyes at the fire, forcing it down into the spiral of color where it needed to be. "Fire for their passion, their drives, the spark in their souls.” I say aloud but it is quiet in the roar of the wind as it whips through. There is less of a struggle here, as I am ready for it and I wrestle it into submission before it has a chance to charm me with its words. "Air for the breath in their lungs, for the fluidity of life, the powers of the mind and all that it encompasses." A rumble around us as the ground starts to tremble and I pull the soil up into the spiral. Earth was gentle and quiet and happy to be the base of the form for their bodies. "Earth for their bodies, to give them the form that they will need in this world, stability, and their roots.” And water, finally water. I pull it from the plants and then I stop. There will be no death when they are born. Returning it, I pull the water from the ground. This takes a little more work. I am tiring as well and my mental muscles are fatiguing from this constant source of work. "Water to give them blood, emotion, and fluidity." I say, softly as the water spirals around the outside of colors.

"The Sun, the Moon, and the Shadows in between." I pull them all to me, taking the light from the moon and pulling rays from the other side of the world for them. I add the inbetween, the dusk and the dawn for Furia. The bright light of the sun for Halora. The paler rays of the moon for Lunasol.

Three by three. Forming a triangle so that their strength was in each other and stabilizing the other sides.
That was always a good sign.

I cannot even manage the smile that flashes through my mind as I watch the spiral before me form. I spin it faster....faster. Until it is nothing more than a blur of colors. The explosion from this will kill them all. The Dale most certainly. Perhaps even all the way to the Chamber. Our bond goes back to black, the only other outward sign of my struggle. The softly spoken voice spews such matter of fact words, I have a hard time resisting.

But once again Quark is there. "Tycho." I redouble my efforts one last time to force these into submission. The whirling of the spiral is stopped and in a clap of sound and a very bright light, there are three tiny bundles of legs and eyes and hair on the ground before me and Quark. I hold the magic as Quark adds their souls to their bodies, anchoring and growing them in a much shorter amount of time. "Blood and flesh." I say and only release it once they had all taken bits of flesh from their Daddies in the ritual rite Quark does. I have no extra effort to give here. I am careful with them, holding it for longer than I needed to make sure their forms stay stable.

I let it go when Quark nods, the release of it and the snapping of the bond between Quark and I is like a physical thing. I sway on my feet, the sweat of my body cooling and making me shiver. "No." I tell the yellow mare. "Magic like this has a price. I'll be fine." I turn my attention towards her, pulling it away from the smallish crater in their home. It would forever be marked that way, an indent in the ground where these three beautiful babies were born.

I smile at her. "Good job." I tell her, knowing that her pulling their souls and planting them in their bodies hadn't been the easiest of jobs. Our magics had worked together beautifully and whatever she hadn't been able to grasp I had given her. Which, was also, probably why I felt like I had been ran over. I slump a little, but still not daring to move until I felt less like falling on my face. A happy smile curls my lips as I watch the new Daddies and their little trio and Dara.

Then I turn to Ryss and Tycho and smile some more. "Hello loves." I sway into Ryss’s body,using her strength to hold us both up for just a brief moment before I am stabilized again. My gaze finds the girls and I smile. This was the most beautiful and notable thing I have ever done with this magic of mine.
]]> <![CDATA[look at me now]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9200 Sat, 02 Jul 2016 01:35:00 +0000 Pazuzu]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9200
"Evil requires no reason."
I was still a little....shocked that I was here in this herdland with my family and extended family. Sometimes it caught me off guard the way that my life had so irrevocably changed. Ryss had changed it with her damn lightning bolts and the passion that had erupted like a damn volcano between us. There was blood and bruising and then the soft brushes of lips to soothe. And then somehow I had fallen in love with her, with her spirit and fire, with her heart, with her pain. I had fallen head over heels in love with her until I wasn't sure where I started and she ended. She was my drug, the reason that I breathed now. She was all I needed in life. Her and our son.

I found myself standing atop one of the rocky crags. I stood there with the wind blowing through my mane and my eagle eyes looking over the home that we had started, that we had made with Drow and Zur, Quark and Dara. I smirked wondering if we would be adding anymore males to that list or females, anytime soon. I couldn't wait to see Ryss's face and Drow's if Quark ever brings someone else home...for fun. And the first time Dara brings home someone. Ahaha, I'm going to roll my eyes now at the boys' reactions.

"No I am not going to put her in a box." I say aloud, even though they aren't here. I smile at this. They were a little ridiculous sometimes, but they had somehow crawled their way into my heart, taking a little piece of it and carving it out for theirselves. The bastards.

And Quark, that damn yellow and blue mare. She was there too. Mother in law. Soon to be anyways. After the girls were born.

This sends a shiver of thrill and fear down my spine. It curls there in my gut as I think of all that I should be doing. Their birthing would be soon, just a few weeks away once the winter weather cleared just a little more. They wanted to be born on Quark's birthday she had told me. Their little souls already so bright and prominent and here, even if they weren't physically. They were ready to be born and I couldn't wait for them to be myself.

I could only imagine how Zur and Drow were going to feel once they were finally here.

Fear. The copper taste of it coats my tongue. So much magic. I hadn't delved that deep in ages, not since the last reincarnation of magic. Too much made it come more alive, made it want to burn and break and bleed. I would handle it because I had too, but perhaps I should find Quark and have a little...talk before we get our hooves dirty with this baby girls birthing business.

"Quark, you busy?" I say aloud, knowing my words would find her. There's a tingle of something in the air besides their birthing that makes me wary. Perhaps it was time to add a little bit of defense to our home, something to just at least let us know should someone that wants to harm comes into our home. Something. I would have to think on this.

While I wait, I turn my black eyes to the sun, watching as it moves across the sky and sends its warm healing rays back into my body.

pazuzu
]]>
"Evil requires no reason."
I was still a little....shocked that I was here in this herdland with my family and extended family. Sometimes it caught me off guard the way that my life had so irrevocably changed. Ryss had changed it with her damn lightning bolts and the passion that had erupted like a damn volcano between us. There was blood and bruising and then the soft brushes of lips to soothe. And then somehow I had fallen in love with her, with her spirit and fire, with her heart, with her pain. I had fallen head over heels in love with her until I wasn't sure where I started and she ended. She was my drug, the reason that I breathed now. She was all I needed in life. Her and our son.

I found myself standing atop one of the rocky crags. I stood there with the wind blowing through my mane and my eagle eyes looking over the home that we had started, that we had made with Drow and Zur, Quark and Dara. I smirked wondering if we would be adding anymore males to that list or females, anytime soon. I couldn't wait to see Ryss's face and Drow's if Quark ever brings someone else home...for fun. And the first time Dara brings home someone. Ahaha, I'm going to roll my eyes now at the boys' reactions.

"No I am not going to put her in a box." I say aloud, even though they aren't here. I smile at this. They were a little ridiculous sometimes, but they had somehow crawled their way into my heart, taking a little piece of it and carving it out for theirselves. The bastards.

And Quark, that damn yellow and blue mare. She was there too. Mother in law. Soon to be anyways. After the girls were born.

This sends a shiver of thrill and fear down my spine. It curls there in my gut as I think of all that I should be doing. Their birthing would be soon, just a few weeks away once the winter weather cleared just a little more. They wanted to be born on Quark's birthday she had told me. Their little souls already so bright and prominent and here, even if they weren't physically. They were ready to be born and I couldn't wait for them to be myself.

I could only imagine how Zur and Drow were going to feel once they were finally here.

Fear. The copper taste of it coats my tongue. So much magic. I hadn't delved that deep in ages, not since the last reincarnation of magic. Too much made it come more alive, made it want to burn and break and bleed. I would handle it because I had too, but perhaps I should find Quark and have a little...talk before we get our hooves dirty with this baby girls birthing business.

"Quark, you busy?" I say aloud, knowing my words would find her. There's a tingle of something in the air besides their birthing that makes me wary. Perhaps it was time to add a little bit of defense to our home, something to just at least let us know should someone that wants to harm comes into our home. Something. I would have to think on this.

While I wait, I turn my black eyes to the sun, watching as it moves across the sky and sends its warm healing rays back into my body.

pazuzu
]]> <![CDATA[wolves in our own skin; raelynx]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9126 Sun, 26 Jun 2016 03:51:57 +0000 Dara]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=9126
Wolves in our own skin, we're savages; we act so primitive.
I have had an awful lot of time to explore my new home. And it's gorgeous, don't get me wrong. All sorts of lovely scenery to explore, a nice river to play in, great shady trees, and the mountains stand sentinel to the east. Watching our backs, defending us from potential invaders or whatever. It's great. I love it. I'm super excited to live here, and I'm happy about all of that. Really.

But I'm bored out of my damn mind, okay? I mean, Grandma's taken me all over, showing me the sights, telling me stories about our history, and that's been wonderful. I have loved every minute, watching her eyes light up as she remembers tales of my dad's youth, or her own, or my aunts and uncles, so many I haven't even met yet. I even love watching the lingering echoes of old sorrow dim that light as she tells me the sadder parts of our family's story. Because even the sad parts, they're what made us who we are. Just like losing Papa is part of what made us who we are.

Just like getting him back is part of it too.

Here's the thing, though. My dads? Well, they're the tiniest bit overprotective, believe it or not. If I try to wander off on my own, it isn't long before I have a silent bodyguard tailing me and watching out for me, making sure nothing bad happens. I appreciate the impulse to keep me safe. I do. But for fuck's sake, there's only so much living a girl can do with her daddies hovering, you know? I love them dearly, and I know they mean well, but I'm a grown woman (if only just), and I need some space now and then.

Which is why, the one time everyone finally seems distracted at the same time, I sneak away. Oh, I play it cool, just wandering off to the river for a drink, right? No big deal. Nothing to see here, no reason to be suspicious. I do exactly that, taking a nice long drink from the clear water flowing through our territory. I just, you know, don't quite stop there is all. With a glance back over my shoulder, I sneak away toward the edge of the herd land. Maybe, for the first damn time since we came to Beqanna, I will actually get to explore on my own. Even get into just a little bit of trouble. Nothing major, no heart attacks for my dads just yet, but a nightmare or two sounds reasonable.

My gold eyes are wide with delight and just a hint of mischief as I step across the border, a grin spreading across lips so dark a brown they are almost black—I take after my dad's nearly impossibly dark silver black, but roaned out to a pale grey color on my body. And, I suppose, in build I take much more after Papa. Rather than Dad's towering height or broad, heavily muscled frame, I have Papa's sleek elegance, all smooth curves and clean lines and none of the crazy thick hair and feathering.

Anyhow. Not important. What is important is the fact that I seem to have made it out of Echo Trails undetected! I laugh quietly and kick up my heels, indulging in a little triumph-frolicking before setting out toward the infamous Meadow. If I'm going to find a little excitement, that sounds like a fine place to start.
Do the rain dance like you're on fire.
]]>
Wolves in our own skin, we're savages; we act so primitive.
I have had an awful lot of time to explore my new home. And it's gorgeous, don't get me wrong. All sorts of lovely scenery to explore, a nice river to play in, great shady trees, and the mountains stand sentinel to the east. Watching our backs, defending us from potential invaders or whatever. It's great. I love it. I'm super excited to live here, and I'm happy about all of that. Really.

But I'm bored out of my damn mind, okay? I mean, Grandma's taken me all over, showing me the sights, telling me stories about our history, and that's been wonderful. I have loved every minute, watching her eyes light up as she remembers tales of my dad's youth, or her own, or my aunts and uncles, so many I haven't even met yet. I even love watching the lingering echoes of old sorrow dim that light as she tells me the sadder parts of our family's story. Because even the sad parts, they're what made us who we are. Just like losing Papa is part of what made us who we are.

Just like getting him back is part of it too.

Here's the thing, though. My dads? Well, they're the tiniest bit overprotective, believe it or not. If I try to wander off on my own, it isn't long before I have a silent bodyguard tailing me and watching out for me, making sure nothing bad happens. I appreciate the impulse to keep me safe. I do. But for fuck's sake, there's only so much living a girl can do with her daddies hovering, you know? I love them dearly, and I know they mean well, but I'm a grown woman (if only just), and I need some space now and then.

Which is why, the one time everyone finally seems distracted at the same time, I sneak away. Oh, I play it cool, just wandering off to the river for a drink, right? No big deal. Nothing to see here, no reason to be suspicious. I do exactly that, taking a nice long drink from the clear water flowing through our territory. I just, you know, don't quite stop there is all. With a glance back over my shoulder, I sneak away toward the edge of the herd land. Maybe, for the first damn time since we came to Beqanna, I will actually get to explore on my own. Even get into just a little bit of trouble. Nothing major, no heart attacks for my dads just yet, but a nightmare or two sounds reasonable.

My gold eyes are wide with delight and just a hint of mischief as I step across the border, a grin spreading across lips so dark a brown they are almost black—I take after my dad's nearly impossibly dark silver black, but roaned out to a pale grey color on my body. And, I suppose, in build I take much more after Papa. Rather than Dad's towering height or broad, heavily muscled frame, I have Papa's sleek elegance, all smooth curves and clean lines and none of the crazy thick hair and feathering.

Anyhow. Not important. What is important is the fact that I seem to have made it out of Echo Trails undetected! I laugh quietly and kick up my heels, indulging in a little triumph-frolicking before setting out toward the infamous Meadow. If I'm going to find a little excitement, that sounds like a fine place to start.
Do the rain dance like you're on fire.
]]> <![CDATA[the water's sweet but blood is thicker; zur]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=8845 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 23:19:56 +0000 Drow]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=8845
Breathe in, slow and deep, chest expanding until it almost hurts. Take in the complex perfume of the forest, mingling oak and earth and the rich green growth of spring. Life, bursting from the ground in every direction. New beginnings, this could be a place of new beginnings again instead of pain and strife and endings. God, there have been so many endings. Maybe this time it can be different.

There was a time, so very long ago, when all I lived for was the light of the moon shining down on me, the ache of lonely longing in my chest as she hung in the sky so far out of reach. I poured my blood out on the ground, watched it gleam in her light and sink into the soil, a sacrifice unwanted, a plea never accepted. I spent half my life and more tearing myself apart trying to understand why I wasn't good enough, would never be good enough to touch that far away light in the sky.

I never wanted to come back, never wanted to set foot again on land I'm still half-convinced is cursed. This place has tortured everyone I have ever loved, chewed them up and spit them back out—at least the ones it has not swallowed whole. On my own, I would never have done it. No matter how much I might need to be here, I would have fought to hold onto the life I'd made for myself and my daughter, clinging to solid ground and digging my heels into familiar jungle soil and refusing to move forward no matter that it was time.

But for my girls. For my mother, who somewhere along the line became the best friend I have ever known, I would do far worse than walking through hell at her side. For my daughter, who came into my life through fire and blood and falling starlight, whose impact realigned gravity and made her the center of my world...I would give my last breath for her, the final beat of my heart. How much less, then, would it be to give her a chance at the life she has wanted for years?

So how could I refuse?

Dara wanted so fervently to see the land of her ancestors, to touch the earth and see its shape, to walk these paths and know where all our old stories took place. She wanted to see where her fathers met, where her grandmothers fell in love, where we were born and breathed and broke and mended and broke again. And Mom, whether she wanted it or not, needed to lay her old life to rest in the cemetery she'd made of her one-time sanctuary. Our family's home, once upon a time.

And fine, hell, I needed closure too. I may have changed from the broken kid I was the last time I was here, jagged and bleeding and clinging stubbornly to scars as a reminder of how I have failed everyone I love. But there were still demons I had to face, still echoes of the past I needed to let go of before I could move on. A lover dead or gone I'd never quite managed to let go of no matter how hard I'd tried, and a last goodbye to bid my dead mother.

Well. I managed the latter, at least. The former, on the other hand...

I still can't believe it sometimes, even lying tangled up with him like this, sweat dripping from our bodies, the pale platinum white of my hair intertwined with his black. Even with his body pressed against mine, feeling his chest rise and fall with each ragged breath, hearing the beat of his heart as it slows back down, even with the taste of him on my lips, the salt of his skin still so familiar after all this time. Even now, I half-expect to wake up and find it was all an elaborate dream, a cruel reminder that I am alone.

“God, I could do this forever,” I murmur against my lover's skin, breathing in the scent of him and draping my neck over his. I'll never get enough of him, not if we both live until this world is nothing but dust. Finding him again, falling back into his arms like we were never apart, it's made me understand my moms' relationship better. I swore I was over Zur, that after a decade or more without him I was never looking back. That if he was even alive, there was nothing he could do or say that would ever make up for all those nights wondering what had happened, what had gone wrong, why once again I wasn't good enough to make someone love me enough to stay.

One look, and none of that mattered anymore. One look into jungle green eyes and I knew the truth. No matter what I'd tried to tell myself, I'd never stopped loving him. One look, one breath, one stuttering heartbeat, and I was home. For the first time in so fucking long, the world was whole again. Oh, I fought it, kept my distance, demanded explanations, tried so damn hard to be the kind of person who wouldn't fall right back into the arms of the man who'd left without a word. It was never that black and white, and he actually had a pretty fucking solid explanation. But I know myself well enough to admit it would have been a losing battle either way.

“I love you.” Completely. Irrevocably. With every beat of my heart.
Know the water's sweet but blood is thicker.

(Permission from Cassi to claim ET for the family. ^_^ Also I basically just moved this
thread from the Forest to here.)
]]>
Breathe in, slow and deep, chest expanding until it almost hurts. Take in the complex perfume of the forest, mingling oak and earth and the rich green growth of spring. Life, bursting from the ground in every direction. New beginnings, this could be a place of new beginnings again instead of pain and strife and endings. God, there have been so many endings. Maybe this time it can be different.

There was a time, so very long ago, when all I lived for was the light of the moon shining down on me, the ache of lonely longing in my chest as she hung in the sky so far out of reach. I poured my blood out on the ground, watched it gleam in her light and sink into the soil, a sacrifice unwanted, a plea never accepted. I spent half my life and more tearing myself apart trying to understand why I wasn't good enough, would never be good enough to touch that far away light in the sky.

I never wanted to come back, never wanted to set foot again on land I'm still half-convinced is cursed. This place has tortured everyone I have ever loved, chewed them up and spit them back out—at least the ones it has not swallowed whole. On my own, I would never have done it. No matter how much I might need to be here, I would have fought to hold onto the life I'd made for myself and my daughter, clinging to solid ground and digging my heels into familiar jungle soil and refusing to move forward no matter that it was time.

But for my girls. For my mother, who somewhere along the line became the best friend I have ever known, I would do far worse than walking through hell at her side. For my daughter, who came into my life through fire and blood and falling starlight, whose impact realigned gravity and made her the center of my world...I would give my last breath for her, the final beat of my heart. How much less, then, would it be to give her a chance at the life she has wanted for years?

So how could I refuse?

Dara wanted so fervently to see the land of her ancestors, to touch the earth and see its shape, to walk these paths and know where all our old stories took place. She wanted to see where her fathers met, where her grandmothers fell in love, where we were born and breathed and broke and mended and broke again. And Mom, whether she wanted it or not, needed to lay her old life to rest in the cemetery she'd made of her one-time sanctuary. Our family's home, once upon a time.

And fine, hell, I needed closure too. I may have changed from the broken kid I was the last time I was here, jagged and bleeding and clinging stubbornly to scars as a reminder of how I have failed everyone I love. But there were still demons I had to face, still echoes of the past I needed to let go of before I could move on. A lover dead or gone I'd never quite managed to let go of no matter how hard I'd tried, and a last goodbye to bid my dead mother.

Well. I managed the latter, at least. The former, on the other hand...

I still can't believe it sometimes, even lying tangled up with him like this, sweat dripping from our bodies, the pale platinum white of my hair intertwined with his black. Even with his body pressed against mine, feeling his chest rise and fall with each ragged breath, hearing the beat of his heart as it slows back down, even with the taste of him on my lips, the salt of his skin still so familiar after all this time. Even now, I half-expect to wake up and find it was all an elaborate dream, a cruel reminder that I am alone.

“God, I could do this forever,” I murmur against my lover's skin, breathing in the scent of him and draping my neck over his. I'll never get enough of him, not if we both live until this world is nothing but dust. Finding him again, falling back into his arms like we were never apart, it's made me understand my moms' relationship better. I swore I was over Zur, that after a decade or more without him I was never looking back. That if he was even alive, there was nothing he could do or say that would ever make up for all those nights wondering what had happened, what had gone wrong, why once again I wasn't good enough to make someone love me enough to stay.

One look, and none of that mattered anymore. One look into jungle green eyes and I knew the truth. No matter what I'd tried to tell myself, I'd never stopped loving him. One look, one breath, one stuttering heartbeat, and I was home. For the first time in so fucking long, the world was whole again. Oh, I fought it, kept my distance, demanded explanations, tried so damn hard to be the kind of person who wouldn't fall right back into the arms of the man who'd left without a word. It was never that black and white, and he actually had a pretty fucking solid explanation. But I know myself well enough to admit it would have been a losing battle either way.

“I love you.” Completely. Irrevocably. With every beat of my heart.
Know the water's sweet but blood is thicker.

(Permission from Cassi to claim ET for the family. ^_^ Also I basically just moved this
thread from the Forest to here.)
]]> <![CDATA[voodoo priestess; any]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=7787 Sun, 03 Apr 2016 15:03:51 +0000 Witchling]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=7787

Tell me wear you're' hiding your voodoo doll

The little girl was not very old, in fact, a only a day or so. She is rather helpless without her mother, Bengal. The tiny black speck was covered head to toe in zebra stripes (Mari's only real contribution) but she was of fine bone and features, thank goodness for that at least. The small child was inquisitive of her surroundings already. There was an intelligence in those eyes, not the typical baby gurgling. Little Witchling does not make a peep really. If she were a snake, she would have already bit you by now.

Spindly legs move the girl from her mother's side to explore. Echo Trails is safe and warm, Bengal did not seem to mind much that her daughter took to exploring. Big eyes drink in everything, the small ears never ceasing movement. She looks to her inky black mother shining in the sun, there is an attachment of sorts but it feels hollow, fragile. Quiet eyes look to her own pelt, the zebra stripes reflecting in the warm sunlight. The child gives a slight smile before her interest becomes absorbed in a drunken butterfly floating on the soft, warm breeze.

'Cause I can't control myself

Witchling

]]>

Tell me wear you're' hiding your voodoo doll

The little girl was not very old, in fact, a only a day or so. She is rather helpless without her mother, Bengal. The tiny black speck was covered head to toe in zebra stripes (Mari's only real contribution) but she was of fine bone and features, thank goodness for that at least. The small child was inquisitive of her surroundings already. There was an intelligence in those eyes, not the typical baby gurgling. Little Witchling does not make a peep really. If she were a snake, she would have already bit you by now.

Spindly legs move the girl from her mother's side to explore. Echo Trails is safe and warm, Bengal did not seem to mind much that her daughter took to exploring. Big eyes drink in everything, the small ears never ceasing movement. She looks to her inky black mother shining in the sun, there is an attachment of sorts but it feels hollow, fragile. Quiet eyes look to her own pelt, the zebra stripes reflecting in the warm sunlight. The child gives a slight smile before her interest becomes absorbed in a drunken butterfly floating on the soft, warm breeze.

'Cause I can't control myself

Witchling

]]> <![CDATA[Adrenalize Me]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=7781 Sun, 03 Apr 2016 01:11:29 +0000 Hyroniemus]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=7781 Well she followed, watching those cute little butt dimples of his swing side to side. Hypnotizing you could say. You pervert.
This place was pretty, like someone sharted rainbows and glitter all over the place and topped it with a cherry. Hyro wasn't sure what to think at first, one step at a time behind this stranger who'd decided to call her 'Cupcake'. Of all things, she was far from a Cupcake.

The place looked empty, where was everyone? Surely there were other 'Cupcakes', maybe a vanilla one, and a strawberry one..... Your getting off track now Hyro.

Sooo, Mari, can I call you Mari? Or Juana, or cupcake? A smirk crossed her lips, and she flicked her tail casually across her haunches. Quickening the pace she jogged, catching up to his shoulder and reaching over to nip at the muscular crest. Then nuzzling her lips down towards his chest, before swinging around to face him front on.
Tell me, are you one of these one pump chumps, or can we converse in a more general manner?
Hyro was prodding, probing the mind of this stallion, working out just how much to give up, and just how much to hold back. Under this glass façade was an intelligent, strong 'cupcake', the bitchiness simply came with the territory, like icing. Are you trying to be funny?

She stood there, still, gazing at this handsome hunk of horse flesh. Questioning. What's it gonna be cupcake?
]]> Well she followed, watching those cute little butt dimples of his swing side to side. Hypnotizing you could say. You pervert.
This place was pretty, like someone sharted rainbows and glitter all over the place and topped it with a cherry. Hyro wasn't sure what to think at first, one step at a time behind this stranger who'd decided to call her 'Cupcake'. Of all things, she was far from a Cupcake.

The place looked empty, where was everyone? Surely there were other 'Cupcakes', maybe a vanilla one, and a strawberry one..... Your getting off track now Hyro.

Sooo, Mari, can I call you Mari? Or Juana, or cupcake? A smirk crossed her lips, and she flicked her tail casually across her haunches. Quickening the pace she jogged, catching up to his shoulder and reaching over to nip at the muscular crest. Then nuzzling her lips down towards his chest, before swinging around to face him front on.
Tell me, are you one of these one pump chumps, or can we converse in a more general manner?
Hyro was prodding, probing the mind of this stallion, working out just how much to give up, and just how much to hold back. Under this glass façade was an intelligent, strong 'cupcake', the bitchiness simply came with the territory, like icing. Are you trying to be funny?

She stood there, still, gazing at this handsome hunk of horse flesh. Questioning. What's it gonna be cupcake?
]]> <![CDATA[I'm your queen, you're my ruler [birthing] - Fynn, Rhavi, any]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=6401 Wed, 03 Feb 2016 20:31:18 +0000 Esileif]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=6401

I'm your Queen, you're my Ruler.

It’s time, she knows it even though it’s the first time going through this kind of thing. The contractions have her fight the groans that are threatening to spill from her lips, but the bay and orangey white queen does not let them. Esileif cannot say it’s a pleasant feeling, but it had not yet become painful.

She leaves the main part of the herd behind, leaving in order to find a quiet and secured spot. She doesn’t need spectators during what might be one of her most vulnerable moments in life. They don’t have to see her weak, tired and sweaty, it’s simply not a way to show you to your subjects. Although Esileif isn’t their queen and only holds the position of the leading mare, she always tries to behave herself in a queen-like, sophisticated manner.

A groan escapes from her parted lips as she lies down, unable to do it gracefully because of her swollen stomach. The left side of her ribcage is still somewhat bruised and painful and therefor Esileif strategically decided to lay upon the right side of her body. The wounds upon her back are slowly healing, now with thick crusts and accompanied by an itchy feeling.

But she doesn’t think about her pains anymore. She doesn’t think of what Conquest, War and Famine had made her go through. The quest isn’t on her mind, except for the little being that was about to enter their world. Even the cravings are momentarily forgotten, the excitement takes all over. ”Mommy has been waiting for you?” she mumbles out loud to the thing in her stomach, before the now heavy contractions force her to push herself through the labour.

He’s beautiful, perfect even, and Esileif cannot be more content. Or, that’s not entirely true either, but that doesn’t change anything about her little price. ”Rhavi” she names him. She watches him, having stepped back a little to give the dark colt some space, urging him to get up with a bump on his hindquarters, careful to not touch the flames that dance upon the places his mane and tail should’ve been.

She’s tired and sore, but for now the pride fills her being. As she watches the flaming boy a grin is pulling on the corners of her lips, heart swelling and her head is already seeing the many opportunities that her son could make possible. ”You indeed kept your promise, Conquest. It’s a shame you cannot meet your son.” Her laugh is humourless, but victorious instead.

Esileif

Belgarath x Alasia
Photograph by Filmwerx Studio
]]>

I'm your Queen, you're my Ruler.

It’s time, she knows it even though it’s the first time going through this kind of thing. The contractions have her fight the groans that are threatening to spill from her lips, but the bay and orangey white queen does not let them. Esileif cannot say it’s a pleasant feeling, but it had not yet become painful.

She leaves the main part of the herd behind, leaving in order to find a quiet and secured spot. She doesn’t need spectators during what might be one of her most vulnerable moments in life. They don’t have to see her weak, tired and sweaty, it’s simply not a way to show you to your subjects. Although Esileif isn’t their queen and only holds the position of the leading mare, she always tries to behave herself in a queen-like, sophisticated manner.

A groan escapes from her parted lips as she lies down, unable to do it gracefully because of her swollen stomach. The left side of her ribcage is still somewhat bruised and painful and therefor Esileif strategically decided to lay upon the right side of her body. The wounds upon her back are slowly healing, now with thick crusts and accompanied by an itchy feeling.

But she doesn’t think about her pains anymore. She doesn’t think of what Conquest, War and Famine had made her go through. The quest isn’t on her mind, except for the little being that was about to enter their world. Even the cravings are momentarily forgotten, the excitement takes all over. ”Mommy has been waiting for you?” she mumbles out loud to the thing in her stomach, before the now heavy contractions force her to push herself through the labour.

He’s beautiful, perfect even, and Esileif cannot be more content. Or, that’s not entirely true either, but that doesn’t change anything about her little price. ”Rhavi” she names him. She watches him, having stepped back a little to give the dark colt some space, urging him to get up with a bump on his hindquarters, careful to not touch the flames that dance upon the places his mane and tail should’ve been.

She’s tired and sore, but for now the pride fills her being. As she watches the flaming boy a grin is pulling on the corners of her lips, heart swelling and her head is already seeing the many opportunities that her son could make possible. ”You indeed kept your promise, Conquest. It’s a shame you cannot meet your son.” Her laugh is humourless, but victorious instead.

Esileif

Belgarath x Alasia
Photograph by Filmwerx Studio
]]> <![CDATA[Bring them to water; Jaxxie]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=5843 Sun, 10 Jan 2016 22:48:01 +0000 Fynnegan]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=5843 "Good luck in your endeavors my friend." I dipped my head slightly as he departed, then turned back to the small mare. I had described my lands already and we had a sense of eachother. There was little left to do but see if she wanted to join him. "So you want to go to Echo Trails Jaxxie? Lets go!"

I turned and walked towards his lands. I kept the pace easy, stopped when the lass needed and kept the conversation light. Finally we reached my lands. The lightly wooded area with large clearings was nice to see, I didn't see any of the others around. They could be sleeping away in the woods or out in Beqanna. I hoped the little mare would like his lands. "So this is it! I'm excited to have you in the herd."

@[ciscorox]]]> "Good luck in your endeavors my friend." I dipped my head slightly as he departed, then turned back to the small mare. I had described my lands already and we had a sense of eachother. There was little left to do but see if she wanted to join him. "So you want to go to Echo Trails Jaxxie? Lets go!"

I turned and walked towards his lands. I kept the pace easy, stopped when the lass needed and kept the conversation light. Finally we reached my lands. The lightly wooded area with large clearings was nice to see, I didn't see any of the others around. They could be sleeping away in the woods or out in Beqanna. I hoped the little mare would like his lands. "So this is it! I'm excited to have you in the herd."

@[ciscorox]]]> <![CDATA[Make Way for a Queen, Esileif]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=5803 Fri, 08 Jan 2016 17:17:53 +0000 Fynnegan]]> https://beqanna.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=5803

♦ Fynnegan ♦


I led us out of the meadow explaining I would tell her all about everything on the way. The tall grasses became shorter as we went until they were scattered by the trees. I easily fell into step with the mare. She, who had allowed me to achieve my herd, was kind and gracious. I was thankful for her, she would surely be a kind and thoughtful lass to have at my side. I looked at the young mare with respect. I can't say there were feelings there but I respected her for what she was, no matter how unrefined. I lead the way eager to show her and eager to recruit.  

I kept walking towards Dale, the landscape slowly changed as we went. I kept conversations light as we which allowed comfortable silences to fill the voids. After awhile I decided it would be a good time to tell Esi all about the Dale, my Kingdom. "So you have never heard of the Dale? Well it is a grassy land with a lovely river keeps everything vibrant. I haven't met many of the inhabitants but those I have met are kind. Overall it is a quiet Kingdom, but it is part of my home. It is a good place."  I paused to let her ask any questions she might have before moving on to other topics. "Where did you grow up then? You didn't seem to like your father, from the comment earlier."

They had entered the Dale and were now close to his lands. As a whole he thought of his lands as a miniature Dale. He had trees and large clearings, and a small creek. He was proud, and while some may think it was not a big deal, to him it was. Once they came to a clearing, he stopped. "Well, here we are! I think it will me a grand place given some more time, and more members." I let her take everything in, he was sure she would have more questions.  

» death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily «

]]>

♦ Fynnegan ♦


I led us out of the meadow explaining I would tell her all about everything on the way. The tall grasses became shorter as we went until they were scattered by the trees. I easily fell into step with the mare. She, who had allowed me to achieve my herd, was kind and gracious. I was thankful for her, she would surely be a kind and thoughtful lass to have at my side. I looked at the young mare with respect. I can't say there were feelings there but I respected her for what she was, no matter how unrefined. I lead the way eager to show her and eager to recruit.  

I kept walking towards Dale, the landscape slowly changed as we went. I kept conversations light as we which allowed comfortable silences to fill the voids. After awhile I decided it would be a good time to tell Esi all about the Dale, my Kingdom. "So you have never heard of the Dale? Well it is a grassy land with a lovely river keeps everything vibrant. I haven't met many of the inhabitants but those I have met are kind. Overall it is a quiet Kingdom, but it is part of my home. It is a good place."  I paused to let her ask any questions she might have before moving on to other topics. "Where did you grow up then? You didn't seem to like your father, from the comment earlier."

They had entered the Dale and were now close to his lands. As a whole he thought of his lands as a miniature Dale. He had trees and large clearings, and a small creek. He was proud, and while some may think it was not a big deal, to him it was. Once they came to a clearing, he stopped. "Well, here we are! I think it will me a grand place given some more time, and more members." I let her take everything in, he was sure she would have more questions.  

» death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily «

]]>