[private] take a look in the mirror

[Tarian]

Tarian - Champion of Loess, Veteran of the Alliance, and former Commander of the Liridon Guard - moves to touch her skin so lightly that she might doubt it happened. That if she wanted to continue to peer into the heavens and pretend that it never happened, she could. The gray knows to be less circumspect of this, he should be staring up into the night sky as well. That by the way he has angled his body towards hers, the that his wing is reaching for her are all visible signs that he wants her close.

But then his mind keeps coming back to this: what then?

@Altissima is not the beloved of one of his fallen comrades. She is not looking to lose or find herself (or so he thinks; the white woman beside has always seemed so sure of herself to Tarian). Those have always been affairs that lasted a night or perhaps two but there was always the understanding that it would end. After a particularly brutal fight, Tarian sometimes found himself wrapped up in the warmth of a woman just to remember how it felt to be alive.

What he feels right now with her is a new emotion entirely for Tarian.

One that is terrifying and thrilling; one that leaves the battle-hardened stallion on an unfamiliar edge. But she doesn't shy from his touch and though Tarian's mind is alight with so many thoughts - warning him dangerously that this is something more than he has ever encountered - he decides that even if this is only for tonight, that if she doesn't shy from him then he won't shy from her. She looks up but he sees the barest trace of a smile and his quirks in his reply.

After a long moment of deliberation (and a brief scowl when the movement isn't as fluid as he'd like), he matches her small sidestep. He turns to look at her and his normally stoic face turns almost rueful, making him the almost mirror-image of his father as his blue eyes go searching for hers again.

And then, a firefly lands on the silver mane of the already dazzling Altissima and Tarian's muzzle reaches gently out to the little creature. It's blue-green light contrasts with the others surrounding her and he wonders if she notices where it rests on the lovely curve of her neck. "Never in a million years," he murmurs in agreement into the summer night.

[Altissima]

Frustration begins to eat at Altissima. She sees him reach to touch her but it is such a gentle movement, so faint, that she isn’t entirely sure it’s happening or not. Her head lowers and she is no longer pretending to be looking up at the stars. She can’t puzzle out what looks like a rueful expression on his face, especially not when it’s combined with him matching her movement. And she’s just about to give him an out - or maybe give herself one - when he reaches for her again. Altissima doesn’t notice the firefly, or how it flies away when she shifts her stance again. As she angles her neck closer to him, pressing it into his silver muzzle. Her entire focus is on him, eyes hovering somewhere between peace and joy - indigo and violet. They’re almost too close now, so that when he is touching her she cannot easily do the same. Altissima considers moving so they can face each other but she finds herself unwilling to move away from his side just yet. Instead she speaks, her voice still quiet - teasing. It's dangerous, the game she switches to - questions she doesn't really want to know the answer to. But she's just decided she's not going to move right now and she has to do something. “Is there no princess you’d rather spend your time with?” Another small shift of her body - wondering if she can get close enough that he’ll drape his wing over her and she can press into his side or if it will be pinned between them. “No lady of the court.” Her tail flicks, the silver strands of it long enough to light brushing against the hind leg of his that's closest to her - luckily the uninjured one. “One with impeccable manners, perhaps. One that would agree with you on everything.”

artwork by cal

@Tarian

[Tarian]

He wondered if she would notice the stray firefly, if its odd coloring would be something that she would fixate on. Something else to look at besides him. But the little flickering light is there, and like most mortal things, is gone quickly. Tarian doesn't notice it leave though. It - like his hindered leg - is forgotten in Altissima's presence. She is an exhaustive presence and it sweeps through him, leaving no room for anything that isn't the spotted mare.

She presses her neck into the remaining space between them and Tarian takes another step closer, chasing away the rest (if any) that remained.

Tarian had been admiring the sterling color of her mane and gently touches it now, pushing it away from her pale neck. He's never been able to see the blue sheen of her skin so closely before and it is a more brilliant, lovelier shade from this angle than any he has even been given before. The small grin that had been tugging at his dark lips spreads a little further, fueled by the shift of movement from the slender woman beside him. His pale wing lifts higher and when she comes closer, Tarian moves to let it linger over her. It feels like a motion that he has done a thousand times before, despite the way that his skin burns where she presses into him.

@Altissima - who almost matches him in coloring - almost matches him in height as well.

The pale mare can't turn to look at him directly but the glow still emanating off her allows Tarian to see the edge of her finely sculpted cheekbone. He moves away from her neck and towards that, wondering if she might let him trace the curve of it. "I don't dally with princesses," he murmurs just above her, the deep baritone of his voice rumbling towards her delicate ears. "An Empress, perhaps." He teases her, continuing their familiar banter.

His mouth twitches again in another wild (rare) smile as he replies, "Didn't anybody teach you its fun to break the rules every once and a while, Wildling?"

[Altissima]

Altissima remains as still as she can as Tarian pushes her mane away from her neck, unsure of what she can do to encourage more considering how they're positioned - but also not wanting to seem frigid beneath his touch. Her skin twitches where his muzzle touches and her smile deepens when he lifts his wing to have it linger over her. She’s grateful that her own wings can disappear to make it easier for her to press as much of her blue-tinted skin against his as she possibly can. Maybe she’d fit nicer if she were more than a hair shorter than him but it is still more comfortable than she expects. It feels... nice. This is not something she has ever done, not something she’s ever wanted to do, and the fact that he does not move away - that he moves his muzzle from her neck towards her face. She tilts her head slightly, a silent invitation - he can touch whatever he wishes. As is their way, he matches her teasing and a small chuckle escapes her as he corrects her. “An Empress, hm? Sounds like an interesting story.” Not one she wants to hear now, though, if that rank is pulled from a former mare he dallied with. His wild grin and next words pull a full, unrestrained smile from her - eyes shining a more vivid shade of violet. Her ears twitch with the pleasant sound of his voice so close to them. “I have no rules to break.” She tells him in that same quiet voice, teasing and warm. She would shift so that she was pressed more firmly against him but there is no more room left to disappear. Not unless she presses her cheek against his and she is unwilling to do anything that might take his attention off of her blue-tinted skin. So she just watches him with shining eyes, trying to pretend away the fear and nerves fluttering in her stomach. “You don’t have to have any either, if you don’t want to.” And then even quieter “Not tonight, and not with me.” Would he take that as a sign she only wanted this tonight, even though that isn't the truth at all? And if so, would it be better to let him believe that?

artwork by cal

@Tarian

[Tarian]

There are no Queens or Empresses in his history.

At least, not like this.

(There had been somebody before, once. Somebody that had chosen the stars over Tarian and as the years have gone on, the silver pegasus finally understands Orani's choice. It makes even more sense now with Altissima pressed so closely into him because Tarian has never felt anything more right.)

"I have a few," he tells with her voice growing quieter and deeper the longer they keep playing this game. He means the stories, the places he's been, the things he's seen; Tarian would share them with her - something he has never done with anybody else. The winged stallion continues to push the fine silk of her mane, coming to press his muzzle a little more fiercely against her skin than he had a moment before. And then that cheek had been reaching for is there against his dark lips and Tarian lightly kisses it. He can feel her skin - warm and real beneath his touch - and the normally pragmatic stallion knows he isn't dreaming.

The only thing that pauses him is her words. I have no rules to break, says the blue-sheened woman, and his wild grin tugs again. Of course, Wildling would have no rules; she completely disregards kingdoms and their borders so this comes as no surprise to the stallion that she had once snuck upon in Loess. Tarian reaches for her again, placing another lingering kiss on the rising ridge of her cheekbone. He could drown here, he thinks. He could suffocate for air and never complain for the way that his lungs burn.

And he almost complies with her then, almost breaks all the rules he has ever given himself.

Because she tells him that this is only for tonight, something that he already resigned to earlier this evening. He knew that with Altissima, if all she ever wanted from him was a few stolen moments then he would give them to her. And he wonders in that moment if @Altissima knows how completely enchanted she has him, that this was never supposed to even exist for Tarian and here he is succumbing to an emotion that he won't give a name to. Not yet.

Not when this is only for tonight.

"Altissima," that part that want hers so badly nearly groans the word. It's a declaration and a warning because as much as Tarian wants this to continue, he doesn't want her to regret this. He knows with an absolute certainty that he will want more than this; that he doesn't know how this could ever work but he would try, for her. "And if I wanted to break the rules more than once?" he says hoarsely with that deep baritone voice rolling towards her again as Tarian reaches for her, anywhere that she wished, finally starting to reveal the depth of his feelings for her. "What then?"

[Altissima]

One day, or maybe even later tonight, Altissima would like to hear his stories (the ones that don’t involve other mares, anyway). A practical part of her brain reminds her that he is injured, however imaginative she might get they shouldn’t move very much. She likes the idea of pressing close to him, listening as his deep voice tells her his history. Just the simple imagining of such a simple, casual moment between them is it’s own thrill - something she's never known. His touch becomes a little more real, more present, and when a light kiss is brushed against her cheek this wild, fierce mare cannot stop smiling as pleasant heat races across her skin and a quiet, involuntary noise of contentment escapes her. She’s realized, though, almost as soon as she’s said that she has no rules that she does - one rule, the big one, and she’s already breaking it. She doesn’t let anyone this close, doesn’t let herself get attached to anyone. It has worked well for her in the past, she has no true heartbreak or pain to worry herself with. She is free in all senses of the word. Wanting this, wanting him, beyond tonight is so far out of her comfort zone she cannot even begin to imagine how it would work. But she believes that if they wanted to, it could. It wouldn’t have to be difficult or complicated, surely. She realizes too that if he were to break his rules more than once she would also be breaking hers. There is an undeniable thrill in his touch, his proximity, and the teasing notion that he doesn’t just want this one night. That maybe there is something they agree on, the one thing that could level them both if they didn’t. Altissima wrestles with the feeling that tries to tell her she wants to run, wants to stop this before it goes any further. As if it is not already too late for her. She has feelings for him, this aggravating knight, and no amount of space will change that. It scares her so much, that truth, and she wonders if he can hear how rapidly her heart is pounding at the mixture of fear and excitement flooding her veins. There is a moment where she hesitates, the point before jumping off the cliff. And she can only hope the way he says her name is an indication that she will not be jumping alone. Doubt starts off her reply, though, and it is what inspires the nerves that send a tremble through her legs. “If that were true…” Altissima is so breathless she barely recognizes her own voice. She moves beneath his wing, creating a little space between their bodies but it is just to allow her enough angle to meet his muzzle with her own. So she can brush against it softly before moving to his cheek as she says “Then you can break them as much and as often as you’d like, Tarian.” And there it is - her rule broken - and she presses her own kiss to his skin as she does it.

artwork by cal

@Tarian

[Tarian]

Does he tell her about how many times (and ways) that he has dreamed about her?

Tarian, lately, has dreamed of many things. He had wondered what it would have been like if he had allowed himself to settle down. What it might have been like to have a family and devote himself to someone as his father had been devoted to his mother. What it might have been like to spend his nights with something other than his thoughts and the cool Loessian breeze. It's another life, though, that he imagines and the path that Tarian took never lead him that way.

It had always been about duty and honoring his commitments. It has always been about living for the next fight and then thinking about the next one when he survived the last one.

But with Altissima, Tarian dreams of something else entirely. (His mind wanders of how their bodies might twist and tangle, of how they might fit together when she has always perfectly matched him in everything else.) His mouth finds her again, moving away from her cheek and back to her neck and his wing curls subconciously, pulling her as close as he can. Even with barely any room to breathe between them, it is still too far. And perhaps some part of him is afraid that she will pull away now, that after they have come so close that she will find some way to draw away from him again. To leave him as she had abruptly that night in Loess, the first night that he realized that with Wildling, he would always want more.

He has had injuries before; there are scars all over his body that stand as a testament to this.

And yet, the way that Altissima hesitates feels like the most brutal thing that he has ever endured.

The silver pegasus almost expects it. He even starts to mentally prepare himself for the way that she would mention just tonight again and put the barrier back between them. His breath hitches and yet when she speaks, Altissima gives him the answer that he wasn't prepared for at all. The logical part of his mind is long gone; the part that had always schooled him to caution when it came to his heart. How does he serve Loess so completely and faithfully when Altissima could ask something of him and Tarian would do whatever she requested? And if the Artic clan comes, what then?

What does he do when they could use her against him? Claim that it was her life or his (and he knows in this instant that he would lay down his gladly, that he would give it without thought, that for her, anything) and then murder them both anyways? "Every night," he whispers in her ear darkly instead, "all night." Tarian says with an easy laugh, something that is so hard for him to find with anybody else.

"You're the only rule I've ever wanted to break, Wildling." Tarian finally confesses and kisses her again, giving way to any of the caution that might have remained. That Tarian, who has always lived in a world made and confined of rules, would shatter them all for her.

@Altissima

[Altissima]

Altissima does not resist when his wing curls, pressing her back into his side, their bodies flush with one another once again. She thinks of the winter, of how she could spend it like this - protected by his body from the chill she can no longer stand. She begins to imagine staying in Loess for the season, not as a member of the kingdom but as someone Tarian could find after he was done whatever business for the day. Where she could soak in the hot springs while was gone and when he was near… She stops herself from getting too carried away, though it’s difficult to forget those thoughts when Tarian whispers in her ear and another shiver runs through her body at his laugh. It is a welcome, pleasant sound - one she wants to hear more of. If she knew his worries she might share reassurances, the same ones she is giving herself. That this mutual interest in having each other around does not need to disrupt anything else about their lives. Perhaps a naive thought, coming from the one who’s only obligations are to herself and her wandering spirit. How her heart races at his confession and she is lost for a response, unable to put into words how she is breaking a rule with him she said she didn’t even have. As she presses close, she finds other words. “It’s a shame you’re crippled at the moment.” It is familiar territory to tease him, and Altissima enjoys bringing this new dimension into it. Wondering if it is possible to make the warrior blush, or if it will be her that does so first. He’d come close to making it happen, whispering in her ear like that. So perhaps this is a new challenge, a new competition, and one that heats her entire body. Now that she’s leapt off the cliff, she’s enjoying the exhilaration and has forgotten her fear. Tarian’s words ring in her mind as she continues in a low voice. “Do you remember the noise I made when I slipped into the water in Loess?” It had been embarrassing then but it makes her smile now as she traces what she can reach of his skin - light, ghosting touches that do not match the reference she is making. She’d thought about it, in the days between then and now, how he might coax similar noises from her. “Another night, I’ll remind you.” A promise both filled with heat and sweetness, confirming again that she does not want this to be the last night. That there will be more, as many as they both want.

artwork by cal

@Tarian

[Tarian]

He has no idea what they will do beyond tonight. Tarian adores @Altissima for all the ways that she is so different from him: for the way she so pointedly addresses their world, the way that she roams every corner of it without concern for protocol or borders, for the way that she is so completely free with herself.

And for the way she makes him feel now, that he is so completely free to be himself with her.

With her nestled neatly against him, his mind works in a similar tandem with hers. The Loessian imagines that perhaps she might stay there while winter blows through, where she can enjoy the warmth of the hot springs and they might enjoy the warmth of their mutual company. (That thought becomes more fervent as he presses another heated kiss against her pale skin.) Come spring, Altissima might return to wandering the lands again but this is where the Champion thinks that their differences might work in their favor.

Tarian knows he can be a thick-headed, stubborn brute.
And he decides that if he has to wait an entire spring and summer and autumn for her to return to Loess, then he will.

She nearly drives him out of his skin with her teasing. But he enjoys its, embraces the familiarity of it as he continues to embrace her. That damned leg, he thinks and he moves his mouth nearer to hers again. Tarian had enjoyed the shiver that his touch had evoked there before and the sound that escaped her lips. "Nothing a little rest and relaxation won't cure," he murmurs again, placing another heated kiss on the skin of the woman he is coming to worship. Nothing that can't be healed within a day or two of their return to Loess, he wickedly thinks.

"You mean the night you called me a pest?" he says, smiling despite the name Glow Warm she had given him. (Not that he will ever admit that he has grown a little fond of it). Tarian almost tells her that he has replayed that a night a hundred times since she left, that it was the memory of her shining in that spring that kept him company during the darkest hours of his patrols in Loess. Altissima brings out a different side of him and he is happy to play this part - happy to laugh and banter and to just feel... content.

The pegasus has never felt this way before but as the feeling continues to unfold in his chest, he relishes the way that it lights him up; the way that she makes him feel like the moon makes him glow.

"Not tonight?" he whispers and ever-so-lightly, rakes a small path of shining skin with his teeth. His injury might hinder other activities but Tarian doesn't mind the challenge of the other ways that he might make her sigh. Tarian has to steady himself and presses his silver head into the crest of her neck, exhaling a long breath. "There is something you should know about me," he finally tells her, pressing his face into the moon-spun strands of her mane. "Before this - before we - go any further." The pegasus decides, because there is something burning brighter than his need for her. Because before they get tangled together, he would have her know about all the things that could snare that wild spirit he loves.

[Altissima]

His touch has the effect he wants, a shiver running through her with it and the heated kiss he places on her skin soon after. Altissima is thinking about that damned leg too, wondering if it could hold his weight long enough for her to assist. She considers asking him, considers describing to him in detail exactly what she would like to do if it weren’t for that damned leg. For now, she just laughs softly at his mentioning of her calling him a pest - glad to see a smile in his bright eyes when he refers to it. “You are a pest, Glow Worm.” She tells him, her teasing faltering as she continues - as she shares a little piece of the truth and does not cover it with humour. “And I’m glad for it.” And she is. She is so glad Tarian keeps turning up in her life and she hopes he won’t ever stop turning up. That even if the wild winds call her away from him for a time they will gravitate back towards each other again and again. This is a scary fault and it almost makes her want to run again. Her first dream of a future, the first time she’s ever had plans. He teases her back, much to her delight. If this is a game she loses, it is one she will at least enjoy losing. “Not tonight.” She replies back but her voice is shaky, breathless, and it’s punctuated by a small gasp as his teeth rake a small path across her skin. Altissima shifts, wanting to reach more of him, to get more of a reaction out of him but she stops moving when he presses his head into the crest of her neck - when he speaks. There’s something she should know. Uncertainty creeps back in before she can try to fight it off. Altissima wants to fight it off, she doesn’t want to be given an excuse to leave anymore. That moment has passed for her but here he is, making her feel like she’s being dragged back into it. “What is it?” She asks in a rough voice, not even attempting to pretend to be casual, as she struggles to not slide the walls back up around her. But she stiffens next to him anyway - barely daring to breathe as she waits.

artwork by cal

@Tarian