[private] take a look in the mirror

[Tarian]

She makes him laugh again, a rare feat for any other horse, and he feels lighter each time that he does. "Milady," he teases her back (though he prefers to call her Wildling) and Tarian echoes that silver Court tone he once took with her, though his voice comes much deeper now. "You wound me." And then that fervent touch softens, gentles as the tone of Altissima's voice does.

His mouth lingers lightly over neck, following the curve that it can reach. The grip with his wing never tightens but there is a ferocity that he holds her with at that moment. He doesn't say the words back but they are there in the way that he touches her, a physical affirmation that he was glad for it too.

And he is glad for so many more things, too.
So many that he nearly curses when he feels the pale woman beside him stiffen.

But if he were to do this (because Tarian knows that he would call her his, that he would have her call him hers), there would be no shadows or secrets. He cares for Altissima too much to allow her to become trapped in a fate that he had long ago accepted. If they were to do this, he wants her to make the choice knowing who he is and that someday, he might have to pay a price for it. He nearly kisses her again, wishing to press his dark lips against the brilliance of her skin again and chase both their worries away. "Do you remember when you told me of your parents?" They had left her in Pangea and Altissima had never given them the chance to come back for her, making the choice to go looking for adventures and thrills instead.

Tarian speaks softly and tells her the beginning of a story that he supposes is like many others. That there had once been a boy that revered his father and adored his mother. He tells her about his childhood in Paraiso, his voice warming with the memories of days within the ancient valley that his family had called home for generations. And then he tells speaks of a war that had happened before his birth, that had cost him half of his family.

Then the story grows darker and his voice deepens, a tone so black that it might have been a similar shade to the Eclipse, as he continues to explain that after the war, a series of murders took place out of revenge.

"My parents," he finally reveals and though he has long made peace with their deaths, he still can't ignore the way that their killers could still be out there. "were slain as they tried to get us to safety." It's then that Tarian realizes that the wing that was still draped over her slime frame had subconsciously tightened, as if he was already trying to shield her from those evils. The gray stallion closes his blue eyes and releases it slightly, finally lifting his head so that when he looks at her, Tarian can see her face.

If she has any doubts, Tarian wants to see them coming.

"There was a price on my head before I was even born, Altissima." He warns her, "and if they ever came here-," Tarian continues speaking of his parent's killers; the heart in his chest constricts and while the silver stallion had always been ready to sacrifice his life in the name of duty or kingdom, the thought of anyone harming the light-wielder beside him is not something he is willing to accept. His jaw clenches and the only sign of tension leaving his body is when he reaches towards Altssima's, hoping to smooth away hers. Quietly he says, "If something ever happened to you, I -," Tarian admits - partially frustrated with the way that he can't seem to find the right things to say and then finally murmurs, "I have never been afraid of anything before, Wildling."

And then, "Nobody has ever made me feel so damn much."

[Altissima]

Her uncertainty gives way to confusion when he mentions her parents, but she nods of course. She does not let herself think about them if she can help it, but she remembers telling Tarian that brief piece of her history. When they had shared a night in Loess and she had first realized she could fall for him. Altissima knows why she had run from this feeling, but she feels distant from that desire to flee now, tucked beneath his wing as she keeps their glows dim and unobtrusive while he speaks. She relaxes as his story begins, the story of a young Tarian - and she finds herself smiling as his voice warms, glad that he had such a good start to his life. Unsurprised that it is so different than the way she had started her own. But that grin fades when his tone darkens and she presses herself closer into his side just as his wing tightens around her. She considers touching him, but does not move except for that small shift of her weight. Altissima feels grief for his family, for the weight that this history has placed on him. She does not look away when he seeks out her face, her eyes a pale blue with her sadness for him. She doesn’t immediately understand why he is telling her this - and his quiet confession that it is not fear over his own death, but if something were to happen to her startles her. Frightens her and enchants her all at once. Is she ready to die with him? Altissima doesn’t know and doesn’t know if it is a flaw of hers that she is unsure. Would a better mare be sure of that right away? Would a princess or empress be ready to lay down their life for him so easily? She does not know if she would die for him, but she does know she would not run. So maybe that is her answer. Altissima doesn’t know what the magic words are to ease his fears so she just says what she wants him to know.“I’ve spent my whole life avoiding attachments. Right from the day I was born. I have a daughter but her father… he could not be farther from being in the picture. I have never wanted to spend time with anyone.” And now she smiles, her eyes shifting to a darker shade. “Until you, Tarian.” This is the first time she’s believed that being known is worth the risk. And maybe it will tear her apart to have him torn from her or maybe she can help stop it from happening at all. Altissima doesn't have the experience to know if what she says next will help or hurt, but she wants to say it to him. She believes it to be true. “So if that day ever comes, we'll figure it out. We’ll face it” And then, possibly the scariest word she’s ever spoken is breathed into his ear: “together.” A fierce, determined note weaves itself into her voice as she shifts, moving her muzzle against his skin - mirroring his earlier actions on her own flesh as she tells him “Because I'm not going to let anyone take you from me, or me from you.” Her heart is hammering so loudly as she says this she can barely hear her own words, fear creeping back in and she continues her exploration of his neck so she will not have to look at his face.

artwork by cal

@Tarian

[Tarian]

He has never told anybody so much.

There were others who knew - his twin brother, Liam, and his other siblings. But his sisters were lost, Liam probably existed on the edge of some world with his fill of tropical paradise and women, and their youngest brother, Kildare, was ash that danced across the plains of Loess. (Later, he would tell Altissima this. She is a wanderer and he loves that about her. He would have her no other way but he wants her to know while duty is part of the reason he binds himself to the Southern kingdom, the other is that he can't bear to leave his younger brother alone to rest in a strange place.)

It's funny though because as much as they are different, there are so many things they seem to share. Altissima speaks of avoiding attachments her entire life and Tarian has spent almost two decades avoiding anything that might matter more than a profit or a fight. It was easier that way, the lines of life kept cleaner and crisper without the risk of messing it all up with foolish choices or emotions.

His blue eyes lock with hers, a steadfast stare that he doesn't break. Even when she mentions a daughter. It shocks Tarian a little at first but as the revelation settles, his teeth rake gently against her skin as he thinks of Altissima's daughter. Is she as lovely as her mother? Does she have her eyes? Does the light seem to come to her as it does Altissima?

Whoever the father might have been, he thinks, was a fool for letting such a creature like Wildling go.

"Perhaps someday I can meet her," he murmurs. His mind is made up that whoever her daughter is, she will be remarkable. Just like her mother. His neck arches and not for the first time tonight, Tarian silently curses that damn leg. She seems just as eager to lose herself in him as he is in her and he can't help but wonder how he got so lucky. As they intertwine into each other, Tarian finds himself wanting more and it is an emotion that he comes to understand only Altissima is able to give him.

He becomes fully aware that with her, it will never be enough.

"When we lost everything," Tarian tells her, "I didn't think I would want anything ever again." He had been a Prince and had grown up entitled. The gray stallion had been expecting to take charge of kingdom - to follow a path that had been set for him at birth. He would grow up to be like his father and his grandfather and great-grandfather before him.

And when it had all vanished, what was he to become? Who was he to be?

Tarian has been many things over the years but now, he finds this is the thing he wants most: "I've never wanted anything as much I want you."

@Altissima