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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    [private]  All my life I've been heading for hell; Ryatah
    #21

    I tried to sell my soul last night
    Funny, he wouldn't even take a bite

    His lips twist with the bitterness of his soul, and he knows that he was right. In the moment when he had wanted to be anything but, he had finally been right. He hadn’t believed her when she said it could have been him, and now he finally understands why. Just as he had not believed in her, she had not believed in him. One of them had to be first, and they were both too damned broken for it to be them.

    It was fitting then that she ended with someone far less broken than he. Someone who could put her back together in ways he never could have.

    Still, it does not make the acid on his tongue any easier to bear. Does not make it sting less to know that he would never (could never) have that. In nearly two centuries she had found so many to give away her heart to. And what had he found? One shining spot of hope so easily crushed by his own rage and self-loathing.

    I was afraid, she said, and he nearly laughs again. “So was I.” His voice is barely audible in the hush of the unnatural darkness. It’s easy to admit to that fear when she won’t remember it. Easy to acknowledge when he is the only one who will ever know. Isn’t it ironic that he will join the cast of her spurned lovers only when he has finally admitted to caring?

    It seems he had been right after all. Love is for fools, and he is the biggest of them all because he had already known it. But it is not a mistake he would make again. Never again.

    “Then let me show you some grace of my own,” he finally replies, his voice low and filled with the regret he now knows. She would not need to carry the burden of his admissions with her. He may not be able to do the same for himself, but he could give her that. “You will forget I ever made these confessions.”

    And she would. He leaves before she can blink her eyes in confusion, wondering why she is standing alone beneath a willow tree with no memory of how she had gotten there.



    @[Ryatah]
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