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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    [open]  She waits from ledges for a voice to talk her down
    #11

    despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came

    I follow close behind Yanhua, not wanting to miss a word that he says. Sometimes I can be har of hearing, and I could easily miss something. It’s embarrassing. Granted, I doubt he would mind, to be honest. He seemed like such a kind, gentle soul, the kind that would never take advantage of me or abandon me. But would it feel the same if I slipped up and make a mistake? A part of me worries that I could mess this up, too, just like I did every other relationship in my life. No, he wasn’t my mother. But he is my…friend?

    I shake my head, realizing that my thoughts are getting away from me again, and I’d falling slightly behind him. So I pick up into the elegant trot to catch back up with the stallion.

    “I like you” he says, and the words catch me off guard so that I stop and look him straight in the eyes for a moment, my breath caught up in my chest. Then, as if from nowhere, a coy smile spreads across my face. “Well, I like you, I say in return. I move up to walk next to him along the broad path that we followed steadily along.

    As the fog closed in around us, an unusual glow comes off of him. I find myself attracted to it, wondering if it radiated a warmth (not unlike his personality), so I move just a tiny bit closer. I feel a warmth, though that could just be the feeling of being closer to him. I smile softly, more for myself than for him, but he is of course, welcome to whatever warmth that smile might provide.

    So he is four. That’s two years older than myself! I feet a little embarrassed by that–not by him, of course, but I couldn’t help but wonder if my young age would be a wedge between us. It turned me quite shy for a moment, and I turn my head away, pretending to watch the path ahead of me (which I should probably be doing anyway, since I don’t know these woods like he does). I trust him, though, enough to turn my head back towards him after a brief moment. He tells me of his brother and his oldest memories, and I can’t help but smile. “Do you miss having Nashua around? I make sure to say the name, and again twice more in my head to make sure I would remember it. These are difficult names! At least Lilliana was an easier name to remember, though I’d had to remind myself a time or two, as well. “Now I’m here… I echo his sentiment with a sly smile.

    Then he asks about me, and suddenly I’m completely unsure of myself. Did I want to reveal to him more about myself and my past?

    I sigh softly and lower my head ever so slightly. “I’m afraid it’s not a very happy tale. My mum always said that I was her biggest mistake, that I ruined her life, because me pops left her when she was pregnant with me.” I mean, I wasn’t even born and I was already ruining her life. A part of me wants to tell myself that this is just fleeting, this moment of enjoyment, that I would screw up his life somehow, too. “When I got old enough, I left so I could stop ruining her life, and I came here.” Where I hope that I will find a family that wants me, I wanted to say, but I couldn’t be that vulnerable, not yet, anyway.

    borderline

    Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Unsplash


    @[Yanhua]
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    #12

    Yanhua

    Yan nodded yes to Borderline’s question about Nash - he missed his twin very much, but as time went on the ache of his brother’s absence was softened by the greater knowledge that Nashua was truly happy in his new home. Yan had seen to that himself, when he’d visited the frozen isle for Leilan’s coronation ceremony, and he’d left the tundra island in brighter spirits than when he’d arrived. Distance may have separated them, but Yan figured he’d always have his twin around to make it through life’s toughest trials.

    Now she was here, and the loneliness felt even less of an obstacle for Yanhua in the months to come. Borderline was pleasant; aside from her obvious charms, Yan liked her personality and mannerisms, too. He’d noticed the way she’d drifted a little closer to him just now as well, like a moth curiously hovering near an open flame, and smiled from the corner of his mouth. The glow of his body held no warmth at all, truthfully - It was for appearances only, and mostly useful in times like these where Yanhua needed to make his way in dim light. He could moderately control the brightness, but he could never extinguish it altogether. However, just for Borderline he amped up the intensity without saying a word.

    The artificial beacon got so bright that Yanhua’s mane looked pure white, and Borderline’s gray fur took on a yellowish-gold tint. Their path was lit before and behind them, carving out a place in the fog as the traveling road led them through a valley obscured by the giant redwoods. Soon enough they’d come close to a place where ferns covered the ground like a leafy sea of green, fed by a river that wound secretly through the Taiga forest. When they got to that place, Yanhua would let them rest if Borderline needed it.

    “Good for you, leaving such a wretch.” Yan said in the meantime, picking up on the echoes of Borderline’s current emotional distress and getting a nasty memory of the mare's dam in the process. He did not like what he saw there. Borderline was putting on a brave face, dredging up her history for a handsome stranger. The fact that she was even sharing this with him at all was brave of her. “It must’ve been awful growing up hearing that. If you ask me, your mother’s the one who’s mistaken.” Yan said quite seriously, reaching across the short distance between them to bump Borderline’s cheek with his whiskered nose.

    It was a quick little thing, but the smell of her skin lingered in Yan’s nostrils afterwards. She had a floral, sweet-smelling aroma that he adored.

    “I hardly know you and I think you’re absolutely marvelous, Borderline.” The stallion smiled, picking up his feet to step down a series of naturally-occuring stairs carved out from the roots of a tree that had grown into the trailway. Dirt had been packed down in between the spaces of each snaking, wooden tendril, making it all the easier for Yanhua’s two-toed hooves to navigate the declining stairway with graceful ease. “Taiga’s lucky to have you. Speaking of - are you considering making this place your permanent home?” He wondered curiously.

    I GOT | Extra | FEELINGS



    @[Borderline] <3
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    #13

    despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came

    My heart aches for the stallion missing his brother. I had always wished for a sister or.a brother. Perhaps I’d had one, but they left before I was born. I suppose, too, that my mother could have had another child after I was gone as well, but I would probably never know, because it’s not a place I wished to return to. Ever. Either way, I always imagined that I had a sister. A twin sister, preferably. I liked to create stories in my head with her, and sometimes I genuinely felt as though she were real. So I could imagine how he felt to not have his brother near. “Do you visit him often?” I ask in the most sympathetic voice I can manage.

    The glow around Yanhua intensifies, and I side-step slightly, startled by its intensity. “Oh! How delightful!” I exclaim, rather excited by this new development. “Your glow is positively divine.” After having side-stepped away from him, I was further away than I wanted to be, so I step in closer once more, my side barely brushing against his. There is no warmth to the glow, which I found slightly disappointing. How would I stay warm in the winter? Granted, I’m sure that he would happily keep me warm in other ways–at least, I found myself hoping he would. I give him a big, bright smile.

    The next little discussion left her feeling a bit sad, however, and the smile fades. He reassures me, though, and I give him a half-hearted smile. It would have made my heart happy to know that he thought me brave for even discussing my past with him. Truth be told, I had come to terms with my past. My past is what had made me into the horse I am today, and I wouldn’t change that. I was happy, more or less, minus the moments of feeling lonely, but he changed that. Yanhua filled up that hole where the loneliness had been. Not only that, but my past had brought me here. “I have no regrets, honestly. My past brought me here, to these wonderful lands…” There was a very brief pause, then I add, “Brought me here to you.”

    I laugh when he says that my mother is the one who is mistaken. It feels good to hear that, especially since others in my herd had made it abundantly clear that I was the black sheep of the “family”. But now I could build a new family. When he reaches over and bumps his nose into my cheek, I gently press my face against his, a silent “thank you.” I notice that he smells of forest and earth, such a pleasant smell that makes me feel at home. “It was pretty awful. I wasn’t well liked by most of my herd. It’s refreshing to be here where at least one horse likes me, and another has invited me to live in her home.”

    I have to watch my hooves as we navigate a natural stairway along the path, much to my chagrin. I would much rather be watching Yanhua’s pleasant face. As we walk, though, he continues to talk, his voice smooth like silk and soft as velvet in my ears. I like the sound of his voice. It makes me feel not alone. “I am glad you think so. I think you are positively divine.”

    When he asks if I plan to make this my permanent home, I don’t even have to stop and think about it. “Yes, absolutely!” I blurt out. If I could blush, I might have right then and there, embarrassed by my sudden outburst. Still, I do not regret having said it, because I absolutely loved this place already. “That is, if you’ll have me… I adore these lands. They are more beautiful than Lilliana described them to be, and I feel like I am at home here. So if the horses here will have me, I would absolutely love to call this place my home.”

    borderline

    Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Unsplash


    @[Yanhua]
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    #14

    Yanhua

    Yanhua grinned.

    “I visit him when I’m able to. He can fly, so Nash tends to be the one visiting me.” The long-horned stallion laughed brightly. Nashua had been born with a magnificent set of wings that he used to terrorize Yan until the younger of the twin horses sprouted his horns. After that, the playing ground had leveled between them.

    In the present, Yanhua led them further and delighted Borderline with his little party trick, turning his mane and tail into a beacon for her to marvel over. Her compliment kept him grinning; there might not have been any warmth in Yanhua’s mane, but there was certainly a type of heat in the look he shot Borderline. In the dead of a Taiga winter, they both might be glad for a little extra company between them.

    He spoke at length to her about his thoughts concerning her mother, felt that same rush of heat when Borderline declared her journey had brought good things into her life - like his presence - and remained close to her side after feeling the way she’d leaned into his touch. Here Yan had thought he’d been all alone these years, saddened by the loss of his brother and mother, when in reality Borderline had been suffering more than he could’ve imagined. The grass always seems greener elsewhere, he thought, watching her descend the little stairs made of a tree’s roots.

    It amazed him how far she’d come in such a short time, because as much as Borderline seemed wise beyond her years, Yanhua knew she was still a relatively young mare. How young, she hadn’t said; Yan thought it over carefully while he stared at the lovely shape of her darling face, torn on how to broach the subject of his emotions after she’d told him (in so many words) about her fear of abandonment. At the moment she was making him out to be a hero in her story, and Yanhua liked that - he liked her enough to not take advantage of that fact. What kind of stallion would he be otherwise?

    But this tension between them… Yan decided to tread its path carefully.

    “Yes! Absolutely!” She exclaimed, interrupting his train of thought. Yanhua beamed and shook his head, pushing away his concerns for the moment. He wouldn’t spoil the mood with his temptations. “Well then Borderline,” The tall, flaxen chestnut horse curled his neck and made a show of standing tall for a second or two, suddenly regal and a bit mythical with the hazy forest all around them, “Let me be the first to officially welcome you home.” Yan murmured in the back of his throat, then he dipped his horns in a slow but graceful bow.

    When he’d finished, the regal seriousness had faded away. The same Yan who’d approached her in the meadow returned, complete with that lopsided smile. The Taigan stallion flicked his bright golden tail and reared, turning wildly around on his hind legs before he leapt off into the woods, cantering briskly toward the level ground up ahead where a sea of jurassic ferns completely covered the ground. “Come on!” He urged the newest member of his family, tossing his head over his shoulder with a bright blue stare. “There’s a place I’d like to show you - my place.” He shouted, then slowed so Borderline could catch up to him.

    I GOT | Extra | FEELINGS



    @[Borderline]
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    #15

    despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came

    “He can fly?” I ask with a look of wonder and fascination in my blue eyes. “Oh, I wish I could fly!” I give a small leap into the air, bringing all four of my legs up underneath me before I gently and lithely land back on my hooves with a soft giggle and a smile. Oh how I wished he would tell me more. I want to know everything about this wonderful creature that I travel beside.

    There might not have been any heat to his glow, but the presence of his large figure next to me keeps me warm enough. I am close enough that I could feel the heat of his body radiating off of him. It is certainly a pleasant feeling, as my previous winter had been spent trying desperately to stay warm all by myself. Now that I was bigger with a thicker coat, it wasn’t as much of a problem, but I didn’t foresee it being a problem at all now that this stallion stood next to me. I smile softly at him with the thought.

    I really don’t feel wise beyond my years, to be honest. I feel naïve and, often times, lost. Sure, maybe the sentiment I’d said about not regretting my past was wise and thoughtful, but that is about where the wisdom ends, at least I believe that. Still, I am learning every day, and I plan to learn a lot more about the world and life and love and so much more now that I had arrived here in these new lands.

    To my utter surprise, Yanhua stops suddenly. I stop a split second later and swing my rear end around so that I am facing him. His words are proud and grand, and I am impressed with his form as he stands tall. I begin to smile, just as he dips into a low bow, and then I find myself giggling, not because I find this funny, but because I am genuinely happy, because I am finally home.

    Home. The word felt warm and friendly. But still, a worry sprouts in the back of my mind. Will I be worthy of this home? I certainly hadn’t been worthy in my last home. My mother had made certain of that. She was, after all, the town whore, so she had all the boys wrapped around her little hoof. I realize that the thoughts are distracting me, however, and so I shake them away with a small shake of my head, my blue mane falling into my eyes as I do so.

    “Well, Yanhua, you make such a wonderful greeter. I am proud to call this my home, and I hope that I am worthy of it, because these lands are so beautiful and amazing and wonderful. I am glad to be home.”

    Just then, he rears up and turns about to face away from me. For a moment, a panic runs through me. Why is he running away? I thought we were having such a wonderful time! But then he calls over his shoulder for me, and a grin spreads across my face. I leap into the air, bringing my front legs up close to my chest in an elegant manner before my back legs push off the ground. I move in a graceful arch before landing back on my front hooves and gallop to catch up to him. I move with a fluid ease, my legs pounding the ground in a rhythmic beat. Once I catch up to him, I slow to match his pace, eagerness flowing through my veins, bringing warmth and joy to the very tips of my hooves. I find that I am truly excited to see his place.

    borderline

    Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Unsplash


    @[Yanhua]
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    #16

    I got extra feelings

    Yanhua wished he couldn’t interpret emotions sometimes. How nice would it be to guess? How wonderful not to have the mystery unraveled, but conclude feelings from body language alone! He’d spent lots of time watching other horses, had seen their frowns and smiles, plenty of carefully constructed expressions that hid a horse’s deeper feelings perfectly well, and Yan was certain that without his echos to guide him he’d be totally oblivious. He would’ve missed the way Borderline shook her exquisite head and dismissed the way her blue forelock shaded her downcast eyes as shyness. Instead, Yan felt the echo of her concerns like a brief image in his mind - Nashua, frowning - and remembered that his brother had been especially concerned during that particular memory in time.

    From the emotional echo he could guess that Borderline was worried too, but he couldn’t assume what she was worried about.

    The way she replied insinuated nothing: she seemed genuinely happy to be welcomed here, and genuinely happy that Yanhua was keeping her company. What, then, had her troubled? He wondered.
    That was the hard thing about having a power like empathic echoes; Yanhua couldn’t just pester everyone about their true feelings when he caught onto them, or else he’d frighten and annoy everyone. He could only hope that soon enough, Borderline wouldn’t feel a moment’s hesitation when it came to sharing her feelings with him, openly. In time, Yanhua could earn her trust. Then she might not have any reason to worry at all.

    He turned about and leapt away, but kept his curious mind busy trying to figure out the young, blue-haired mystery mare. Borderline took his invitation with a flying buck, then caught Yan’s attention by the way she moved. Her form was pleasing to watch in this way, coiled and dainty as a dancer. Each time she unfurled her legs and took a confident stride, she reminded Yan of a horse swimming out of water. Her canter was a graceful, fluid thing. He might’ve watched her dance all afternoon and into the evening, had she not eventually caught and matched his stride.

    Together, the pair moved in tandem among the swath of wide-leaved ferns, and their hoofbeats (muffled by layers of dead pine needles) thundered a pleasant tempo throughout the quiet woods. Others lived here, but aside from himself and his dam Lilliana, Yanhua doubted many residents traveled out this far towards Taiga’s northwest border. The place he led her toward was a segment of woods just a mile or so from the only beach to be found in Taiga, where the deer came on quiet mornings to eat and be lost in the fog.

    Past the sea of ferns there was a trickling river, more creek than anything, and Yanhua came to a slow stop near the banks of its shallow water, crunching his split hooves on the pebbled trail leading up to a dry shore. Here was where the deer had trampled a narrow path to cross the water, which was how Yanhua found his way home every time.

    “If you can’t remember the path, you should be able to find my scent on that tree.” Yanhua breathed heavily, not quite exhausted but certainly winded from their brisk run through the ferns and hills. He ushered with his horns towards a cluster of cedars (smaller evergreens; they had red bark as well but smelled pungent and grew lower to the earth than the redwoods) where gouges had been dug into the trunks. The large strips of bare tree flesh were from the many hundreds of times Yanhua had sharpened his horns on them, and by now he considered the grove of cedars his calling card. They were the doormat outside of his personal area - a sign for other horses to read and recognize as they wandered Taiga. “The deerpath keeps going across the creek. You can follow that straight to my place.” He smiled, then splashed eagerly into the water to lead the way.

    “You’re welcome here whenever you’d like.” Yan offered Borderline as he sloshed across the river and strode up the opposite bank, following the deerpath he’d described to her. The little brown ribbon of trail was a beacon surrounded by green; moss grew nearly everywhere here, and the great redwoods were broken up by large clusters of moss-covered boulders that huddled in groups like old friends. “I have to leave soon - tomorrow, actually - so I wanted you to have a safe, warm place to sleep. Taiga has only one type of real predator, but the wolves won’t come here. I’ve made sure of that.” He turned and winked one blue eye at his lady ward, smirking kindly.

    As he finished, Yanhua stopped in the road. The path led to a massive, still-alive redwood covered in vines with roots soaked in moss. Some of its heavy limbs grew lower than normal, easily reached by the more adventurous equine capable of flying or climbing, and it seemed half-grown into a curving hillside. Its foremost roots were tangled up in boulders as well, but those rocks were only lining a doorway covered by thick-hanging ivy. This particular tree was all but hollow at the base, its entryway concealed by the green curtain of living vines, and when a horse passed through they would come to find a large den waiting inside - carved deeper into the hill by some other equine more powerful than Yanhua. His entire family had easily fit into this hollowed out tree when Yan had been a little colt, and it was still large enough to house all three horses comfortably today.

    Now that he was older, Yan considered this tree-den his own place. An inherited home passed down to him by luck, full of old memories he cherished. Now Borderline could call it home as well, and perhaps (after a while) they might choose to make their own memories here.
    PERSONALITY | HISTORY | REFERENCES


    @[Borderline] wow I am so sorry this went on forever, but here it is
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    #17

    despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came

    The pace in which we moved through the forest was an easy but quick one. It allowed me to see a lot more of the lands than the casual stroll we had been on previously, though in less detail. That part was a little disappointing, as the ferns growing between the giant redwoods made quite the sight. It practically took my breath away. I definitely have to admit that the forest was where I felt like I belonged. I breathed in a long breath of the fresh, misty air, and with it comes the earthy scent of everything around me, the trees, the ferns, the ground that was unsettled by our hooves as we passed through. It smelt like home. It looked like home. It sounded like home. It felt like home.

    As we move through the trees, I give him a sideways glance with a smile to accompany it. I liked this stallion. A lot. I could feel my worries slowly dissipating with each step we took.

    Yanhua slows to a stop at on the bank of a creek. In tune with his motions, I slow to a stop as well, my movements as graceful as ever as I move from a canter to a trot to a walk and then a stop. Was this his place? I give him a kind of quizzical look, and he answers with a casual statement about finding his scent on the tree should I ever have difficulty finding the path. Then this must not be it, not quite yet. In response, I press my nose against his chest and draw in a deep breath, trying to memorize that scent, his scent. I give him a soft, shy giggle and a broad smile. “You smell positively lovely. You smell like the forest, though much more pleasant.” And that was saying something, since I loved the smell of this forest.

    I look back at the tree and notice the gouges cut deep into its bark. Then my eyes move to the goat horns atop Yanhua’s head. I reach my nose up to gently brush against them. They are as hard as they appear, and something menacing that I could see benefiting him in a battle. Little did I know that he would be leaving for a battle so soon.

    Just then, he states that I am welcome here whenever I want. That gives me a smile. As he moves through the water, I gently pick up my hooves to prance through, playing in the water as I had done when Lilliana found me in the Field. I loved water, and I loved playing in it. So even though it is cold and bitterly biting to the skin, I still lift my legs and step down with a hard splash as I make my way through it. No doubt this would give the stallion something to smile about as well.

    Once through the small river, he leads the way along the narrow path. When he mentions that he has to leave soon, I give him a quizzical frown. It felt like a loss, that he had to leave so soon. I had only just met him, and he was already going to leave. I wanted more time with him. I wanted to spend all of my time with him. I found myself saddened by this news that he would have to leave. However, we still have the night, so I smile kindly back at him as he winks. “I’m sure that no wolf would want to face you. You’re so big and strong, and you have those wonderful horns.” I give him a similar smirk, that says I approve.

    Then he stops before an old tree. The way the ivy fell against the tree made me realize that it was hollow within. The snarl of roots across the rocks was almost magical, and the moss that grew around the base of the tree was positively darling. I have to admit that I am shocked and awed by the sight of the massive tree hiding the cavern within. “It’s beautiful,” I say with bated breath. “No wonder this is your place! I love it! I slowly move toward the sheet of ivy and push some of it aside to peer into the cavern. “This is wonderful!” There is a girlish kind of wonder in my voice as I step into the cavern and casually look back to see that he follows. Here is where we would spend the night, hopefully curled up together, sharing each other’s warmth and companionship.

    borderline

    Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Unsplash


    @[Yanhua]
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