The feeling that is causing all of Agetta’s limbs to tingle is not unlike the rush of fear and adrenaline from standing on the edge of a cliff. She feels as though this entire conversation, every second that she spends with Garbage, is another inch towards that ledge. There’s a very logical part of her that knows she should step back or maybe even run. At the very least recoil. But even though her movements are hesitant, they are still propelling her in the same direction - forward.
Agetta continues to smile as he agrees names aren’t his strong suit. Names don’t make the child but still - still she thinks it doesn’t hurt to give them a kinder start. The teasing tones of that smile fade away into something softer when he continues and her heart races. It is one thing to think about more foals in her own mind, but hearing agreement from him - even if it is hardly one brimming with confidence - makes it more real, and more terrifying
She can't fault him for the ifs and somedays - not when she's lacking confidence herself. Because she also thinks of Plume and the future they might have shared in the same heartbeat that she thinks of sisters and brothers for Mazikeen with orange and blue eyes and she can feel two halves of herself splintering. Because she knows that neither future is possible, not really. Not after she has deceived them both.
And Agetta knows she's playing with fire but she’s not ready to stop pretending things will work out. Not ready to stop pretending she believes the words of encouragement and hope she had whispered to this kind soul after they had both gone back to the Deserts. He is not his mistakes, but she? She is hers. What else is left once those are taken away?
Instead of saying any of those words, instead of voicing the love and the fear and the doubts, she just moves to brush her muzzle against his skin once more - and speaks another truth instead. “I have faith in you.”
@[garbage]