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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    [private]  a place made for all of us. together.
    #11

    The feeling that is causing all of Agetta’s limbs to tingle is not unlike the rush of fear and adrenaline from standing on the edge of a cliff. She feels as though this entire conversation, every second that she spends with Garbage, is another inch towards that ledge. There’s a very logical part of her that knows she should step back or maybe even run. At the very least recoil. But even though her movements are hesitant, they are still propelling her in the same direction - forward.

    Agetta continues to smile as he agrees names aren’t his strong suit. Names don’t make the child but still - still she thinks it doesn’t hurt to give them a kinder start. The teasing tones of that smile fade away into something softer when he continues and her heart races. It is one thing to think about more foals in her own mind, but hearing agreement from him - even if it is hardly one brimming with confidence - makes it more real, and more terrifying

    She can't fault him for the ifs and somedays - not when she's lacking confidence herself. Because she also thinks of Plume and the future they might have shared in the same heartbeat that she thinks of sisters and brothers for Mazikeen with orange and blue eyes and she can feel two halves of herself splintering. Because she knows that neither future is possible, not really. Not after she has deceived them both.

    And Agetta knows she's playing with fire but she’s not ready to stop pretending things will work out. Not ready to stop pretending she believes the words of encouragement and hope she had whispered to this kind soul after they had both gone back to the Deserts. He is not his mistakes, but she? She is hers. What else is left once those are taken away?

    Instead of saying any of those words, instead of voicing the love and the fear and the doubts, she just moves to brush her muzzle against his skin once more - and speaks another truth instead. “I have faith in you.”

    Agetta


    @[garbage]
    Reply
    #12
    he must be wicked to deserve such pain;


    There is a timeline, he thinks, where they could be a family. Where they could build and flourish. This is not something he had known he wanted – certainly not so tangibly – until she had come along, until she had found him worthy to parade their child in front of, to allow him to be part of her life. To have a say in her upbringing. It is a different sort of trust, and one that touches him in some aching part of his heart, one that he had not known existed.
    Garbage had never been good at families.
    There is a timeline, a path, but is he capable of walking it?
    He thinks of his failures, his betrayals, his sins. Sure, she knows perhaps the worst thing he ever did, but there is still more.
    (He thinks, pained, of the boy. So young, so cold, so eager to be kept warm.)
    He wants it. He wants her. Wants all of this.
    But he has wanted many things in his life, and gotten so few of them.

    It’s then that she speaks. A killing blow, in a way.
    I have faith in you.
    It has all the sting of forgiveness, and oh, how he craves it! The word faith crawls over his veins and infects him, delights him, because he has never been the sort of man others have faith in.
    He could be, though – couldn’t he?
    He touches her again. With faith, with -
    “Agetta…” he says, “I love you.”

    garbage
    image credit


    @[Agetta]
    Reply
    #13

    She stops moving when he says it - her blue eyes focused only on his face. There’s a violent war within her, but it’s hard to focus on. Hard to hear the screaming thoughts telling her to get away from the edge of the cliff, to stop looking into the sun no matter how warm it feels. Telling her she’s awful for the way her smile continues to grow.

    She knows how dangerous this is - and yet she feels the warmth of those words, of his touch. How wonderfully blessed, this wretch is, to hear them.

    How else can she respond but with the truth? Even though it dooms them, even though it will ruin her, she says what she knows - what she believes - as her dark eyes shine.

    “I love you too.”

    Surely it can’t be any worse to say out loud what she already feels. Even if it all crumbles after this, they can share this moment together. She can give him those gentle, careful words, and carry the memory of him saying them to her for the rest of her life.

    And when Mazikeen appears ahead of them - grinning and feigning annoyance - Agetta can’t bring herself to destroy this moment. Not yet. The storm lingers on the edge of her periphery but she moves once more to touch him before continuing on to follow their daughter. Today she chooses this island of happiness over all else, whatever it brings.

    Agetta


    @[garbage]

    <33 THANKS FOR THE WONDERFUL THREAD now let's light these kids on fire
    Reply




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