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    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    This one is for ANYONE
    #1
    It was about time for her to find someone else to annoy. She had been sticking to Kerberos and Kali since she had returned and she was feeling a bit lonely. It was hard watching him love her, watch his kids and love them. It was hard for her when she loved him enough to want to be with him, but also enough to let him be happy somewhere else. There was a connection between him and his children’s mother. Something she had seen from afar when she had been watching.

    Anyways, she was purposely not thinking about him today and how he was likely going to break her heart without even knowing it. 

    So here she was. Out and about on the Island without being at his side, or finding him. Or even thinking about him. Yep. She was totally not doing that. So she stretches her wings out at her side, reveling in the last little bit of autumn before winter hit. She had strayed from the mainland side of the island to the side that faces the sea. The mountain was at her back as she stood near the river and she sighed as she stared outwards, enjoying the quiet back here, away from the rest.

    She lets her wings hang, the tips of the feathers brushing against the ground as she slowly walks, meandering and just trying to enjoy the beauty of the day. Perhaps someone would find her and she could meet someone new.

    (This is horrible, so sorry about that.)
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    #2
    Some days everything felt like a tangled mess. She’d broken the hell out of Zor’s heart, fallen completely in love with a man who was gone more than he was with her - a man who came home to her but had to spend so much of his life away. Their babies were still learning to get along, the turmoil of a new baby sibling amplified by the fact that he didn’t share their father. Or. Not that they knew. Zoe was Dov’s, but he’d been gone the first year of her life, had missed so many baby smiles and firsts, and she’d grown up thinking Zor was her father too. Just like he was her twin sister’s.

    Their family was a bit of a mess, and it all felt like it could come unraveled at any moment if they didn’t handle things just right. It was exhausting, and so much pressure, and some days she just didn’t know what to do. Defy was getting restless to see his daddy again, always did when Dov was away for more than...well, a few hours really. But the longer he had to be gone, the worse it got. She tried to help, but honestly she wasn’t much better than he was, just kept her missing Dov tucked away inside.

    Defy stuck close to her side most of the time, venturing out occasionally to explore the island a bit but mostly taking his self- and daddy-appointed job of protecting her veryyy seriously. Today though, she’d asked all three of them to go try and mingle with the other residents of the island, maybe make a friend or two. She didn’t want her babies growing up as isolated as she’d been, with only her brother for company. Not that he hadn’t been good company, but it wasn’t healthy for them to have no friends their age. And she so badly wanted to do right by them.

    She just had no idea what the hell to do with herself without a kid clinging to her side.

    But she wasn’t gonna hover and be that overprotective mom that didn’t let her kids do anything on their own. So. She set her feet to wandering too, determined to at least not sit around waiting for them to wander home and tell her tales of their adventures. She should...ugh, probably try and do the same, model the behavior she was trying to encourage in them, right? Fuck. Okay.

    So when she saw someone else wandering too, she didn’t go out of her way to avoid them for once. Instead she...god, okay, yep, actually approached. Even though the someone was a shade of blue that reminded her of fever nightmares and what had happened to put her in that state, of pumpkin kings and burned flesh and oh god nope okay. She froze, fighting to inhale, her body forgetting how to breathe as a flash of panic set in. She’d been that gorgeous shade of blue, facing down Jack in her dreams after--nope. This was the worst idea. Her worst idea ever. Fuck people, she could be alone forever and live off the scraps of time Dov could throw her way and Zor could stand to be around her, and--

    God. She was not this pathetic, terrified mess. A particular shade of blue could not send her into a tailspin, gasping for air as the world crashed down around her. Fuck. That.

    She gritted her teeth and pulled herself together, at least pretending her heart wasn’t racing ten thousand miles a minute, lying for all she was worth and putting on her bravest goddamn face and pretending she wasn’t remembering the feeling of flame searing her skin, wasn’t remembering bark tearing into her as he crushed her against a tree, wasn’t remembering his grip on her hips or the way--nope. None of it.

    She was fucking fine.

    God knew she’d gotten good at pretending she was fucking fine. So she smiled, and made damn sure it reached her eyes before she tried again. Deep breath. Didn’t matter how loud she was screaming on the inside, she could fake her way through. Wouldn’t be the first time.

    Okay a few more deep breaths ‘til she had the panic hidden, even if it was still raging inside her. And then she strolled out of the shadows and made her way toward the stranger, a friendly smile affixed perfectly to her face. She made damn sure her walk was calm and confident, not so much as a hint of the way her post-horror appearance left her cringing inside, hair slow to grow back and still sparse and short, or the way the stitch marks that edged her patches where black and white met left her feeling like a patchwork ragdoll pieced together from the nightmare she’d survived through sheer stubbornness and the magic of a healer she still needed to thank. Calm. Confident.

    “Hello,” she said, keeping her voice steady and friendly and not letting a damn thing leak through. “Do you live here on the island too?”
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    #3

    She had never had to worry about being the glue that binds her family together. That was her mother, Rys, who held things together. She was the peacekeeper and the first one to call all of her men out on any shit. Had Roma been privy to what this girl was thinking, she would have wondered if there were times that her mother felt the same way? Well, except the whole having to handle things just right. All of them loved each other...in one way or another. So that helped with keeping them together. But she would have worried about the stress of keeping their family balance. Were they too much? And then all the kids.

    But she didn’t know what the mare was thinking. Probably that was a good thing. Or maybe not, because as soon as she could see the patchwork stitches on her sides she automatically wondered if her father had been a part of that. Of course, they looked old, maybe not as old as before when Pazuzu would have been the chaotic evil guy he had been before, but she still wondered if sometimes he gave into his baser urges.

    Her eyes linger only a moment before they meet the other mare’s eyes, a small smile curling her lips in response. “Yes, I guess so.” That perhaps was complicated, but not really. Complicated only in her mind, but the real answer was simple. “My name is Roma. Yours?”

    Roma

    the night is dark and full of terrors



    Sorry it's not very good <3
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    #4
    She seemed friendly enough, and while Dizzy didn’t miss the way her eyes lingered on her still-regrowing hair and the stitch-marks that held her patches together, at least it was brief and the stranger didn’t make a big thing out of it. A simple answer, an introduction, and a little smile that bordered on friendly, gold eyes meeting hers without much by way of judgement or too much curiosity.

    “Dizzy,” she answered, as honest an answer as she ever gave to that question. Hell, she didn’t know if anyone but her parents and her brother knew the name her mother had given her went beyond that. Part of her still wondered what on earth could possess a woman to stitch such a heartless thing into her daughter’s soul, but Ravyn had never been much of a mother.

    “What brings you to the island? You know, other than plague sweeping the world and driving people to the few safe places left, okay, stupid question…” She shook her head, gaze dropping to the ground. “Family, though, or? My…” Fuck. Honestly, she had no idea how to finish that sentence, no idea what label to put on Dov. She knew what she would have called him, once. But the way things were now? With everything so unsettled, with her so fucking broken, with...god, she just didn’t know. She didn’t think she had any right to claim he was her anything, even if she’d given him her stupid, useless heart and no take backs. 

    “I’m here with my family, my three kids and their dads.” Answer enough, she guessed. “Trying to keep my babies safe from the plague.” Or as safe as they could be with both fathers infected. At least the girls and Defy seemed okay so far. “Are you here with anyone, or?”
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    #5

    She listens, tilts her head like her brother often had when he was trying to figure something out. The mare, Dizzy, was curious and she finds herself wondering if maybe she could be a friend, or if there would nothing more than this conversation between them forever. Roma is quiet until she is done and then she shrugs slightly and sighs. “You know, I thought at first it could be more, that if I was patient and waited, I could be enough. But now...I know it’s not possible.” Another small sigh, a turn of her head to look out over the ocean remembering things past.

    “It hurts, but I’m still here because I have nowhere else to go.” A small shrug as she turns her attention back to the mare, lingering on her face. “Besides, I love his daughter. She’s been through some shit so I’m sticking around some trying to see if I can help.” She didn’t think she was, but she worried about Kali and so she was around.

    Even if her heart ached and cried at her loss whenever she saw Kerberos and Kali together. Especially when she saw him with Wallace. She knew, had known then that it was best to let her feelings go. And she was stupidly glad she had never let him known, never been quite brave enough. She almost smiles. “Men, am I right? Idiots most of the time. And we sit and suffer because we had the audacity to fall in love with them in the first place.” She snorts. “Idiots.” Shakes her head. “I’ve been wondering about wandering. Thinking perhaps it’s time I made my way someplace else. I just haven’t yet.” She hadn’t cut ties with him, hadn’t been able to quite give him up. So she wandered aimlessly around the Island.

    Today she just happened to get lucky enough to find someone else to commiserate with. And it kind of felt good to let it all out. To stop keeping it so much a secret.

    Roma

    the night is dark and full of terrors



    @[Disastardly]
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