we learn to dive by choosing to fall

He doesn't know what calls him back to Beqanna but he can feel the need in his bones, in his gut. So he turns from his travels, turns back from his large ever-growing family of wilds out on his emerald isle to return to the land where his daughter roamed. Where he had tried and failed twice to make a herd life. He had comes to terms with it, managed to shrug off the feeling of disappointment and failure so that he could live.

Lessons had been learned and he had moved on.

He was back and it felt weird. Felt like he had to resettle into his skin. Magic ran so thick through even the air here that it always made him need a minute to resettle. The first time had he had crossed the borders he had found it...-

Quark? His brown eyes blinked as he saw the sunshine mare slide through the trees. She shifted and was soon in the air, flying towards the east. And so, as the sun sat high in the sky, he made his way through the snow and ice to follow her. It had been years since he had last seen her, since her lover had turned her into something else. Since she had seen nothing but pain and anger and resentment at it all. She was not burning this time.

He picks his pace up a little when the ground is clear of snow beneath him. When the snow crunches and crackles beneath his hooves he keeps a steady pace. He soon loses her, but follows the same direction, skirting around other herdlands until he comes to one that is thick with her scent and...other's scents.

He pauses at the edge of the boundary, smelling more than one male scent and the scents of a multitude of different females. All those were fainter, older than the males' whos' scents saturated the boundary...as well as Quark's. They were preparing for something, but he wasn't sure what.

However he is still hesitant to just cross a boundary so heavily....Fuck it. He slides past it, somehow managing to stumble into her scent, so fresh it is likely where she landed and changed back to horse form. He picks up his pace, ears pricked and listening, eyes sliding over the foliage until he finds her, golden (still) against the white background. And he smiles, stilling.

"Hello mo maise." He says, "Have you missed me?" His irish brogue full of the smile that curls his lips.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Perhaps he hadn't crossed that last little bit of distance to make sure she hadn't changed, that he was still welcome. Perhaps he was making sure that she was well, that she was better before he touched her. Perhaps he was making sure that she would want his touch. Otherwise he would have been hugging her before the words had even left his lips. But he needn't have worried, as she was already crossing the distance between them before the words left his lips.

She's pressing her chest to his and pulling him into a hug that he returns as the last words fall into the air. He can't release the smile curling his lips, wouldn't want too even if he could. "It's wonderful to see you Sunshine girl." He says. He has missed her, the way she smelled, the way her smile had always answered his own. He had missed her, her personality, her never ending wisdom, the way she had always known what to say even when she didn't. The brood of happy children around her hooves. He had missed her very essence, the very thing that made her her.

He had missed her so damn much.

So when she starts to step back, he holds her for a moment longer, inhaling her scent and just...just holding her for a moment. Too soon for him, he releases her and his smile becomes softer, something more intimate between the two of them, but no less happy. "I have been alright. How about yourself? You look better." She apologizes and his heart clenches a little. "Oh no, mo chroí, don't be sorry. You had to heal. Don't be sorry for doing you first and everyone else second." His lips touch her cheek.

"Don't ever be sorry for doing what you needed to do." A sadder smile curls his heart, thoughts of his Willa-girl and what she might be up too making it hurt just a little. His hooves had been wandering for too long and he had lost track of her. But he slides it away, would shelf it and consider solving the problem later. For now...Quark. He huffs his warm breath softly against her cheek, feeling his heart both ache in sadness for what she had been through and happiness that she was here. Happy that he could touch her and--

Happiness that she was here. "What have you been up to?"

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

I've always felt my heart stir in response to being near her. It's something I have never let her know about or even gave any indication that I thought of her as more than a friend. However she is a brilliant and gorgeous mare and it would be arrogant of me to think that I was that good at hiding my emotions. There is always something that might have made her pause but go on, the way my body would sway towards her, or the light touches on her cheek. But for all she knew I could have done that with anyone.

I was surely free with my love around my daughter. I was always touching her and smiling, laughing when she had been nothing but a ball of black fluff and long legs. Telling her stories and holding her close when she had the very rare nightmare. Besides her family, Strangelet and whatever other children were close, we rarely invited others to our little conversations.

Myrna had always known, bless her soul. She had always known when Willa would come home and tell her mum all about her adventures with Sunshine mare and Strange-thing. She had known with a look in my direction and by the guilt on my face. But she had loved me anyways and so I had done my best to give her love in return. It had never been anything soul-rending, nothing that would break my heart into a thousand pieces. But it had been a comfort when I needed it and Myrna had needed someplace safe to raise our daughter.

So the light touches of her lips against my skin makes me tingle, makes my blood run a little bit hotter and I try harder to keep it hidden. To keep it from pouring out into the air between us. She speaks and I remember the stories she would tell the girls as they laid bundled at our hooves after a particular exhausting adventure. The gentle rise and fall of her words were like music...even now when the tinge of sadness and grief threatens her.

"Gra geal mo chroi." I say, barely above a whisper as she speaks before I touch my lips to her cheek again in comfort. "Ach grandchildren? That cannae be possible." I say with a laugh. But it could be, too easily, with the brood her and Nocturnal had always had. It makes a smile curl my lips once again. Ears flickering as I listen some more. Children, their mates and grandbabies. It sounded wonderfully wonderful. It was the kind of life I had always wanted for Willa, but hadn't found here. So we had wandered back and forth between our Irish family and this place where we had no one.

Until she had left to return back here and I had stayed there.

"Ya ken, wandering until my hooves are weary. Visiting some family when my gut told me to come back. So I did." I smile at her. "I know why now."

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

The bright love of my heart. Wasn't that so true? The way her yellow and white coat almost seemed to glow. So bright. The way my heart lights up a little more each time she touches me, speaks to me, feeling her warm breath against my body. I almost sigh. I almost close my eyes and relish the feel of it. But I don't. They stay on her, laughing with her and darkening in sadness when she tells me her story.

All was well.
For now.
Wasn't that how it always worked.

I touch my lips to her cheek, allowing them to linger. I burned to tell her how much she meant to me, but she wasn't there yet. Not quite. So I would touch her and linger with her and talk and just in general be there. I would do anything she needed me to do without questions, without a pause.

"Dark is just another part of life. I am sorry you have had more of it than others." I touch of my lips to her forehead. Another smile. "I will help you face the darkness, if you need me Sunshine girl." I huff softly against her skin, moving my lips to her neck even as she settles back in at my side.

"I will always be there if you need me." I choke on the words 'that's what friends are for.' So I don't say them, even if I should. "I am glad you stayed too. It is so good to see you. It makes my heart happy."

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

I don's miss the way her breath is released in a sigh. I don't miss the building heat between our bodies, even if I am sure it is more on my end than on hers. Many long years of yearning, wanting, but never being able to have, to cherish, to love, gave me a little more heat, a little more hot.

Her eyes catch my own, searching, but I'm not quite sure what she is searching for. I've had years to keep my love for her hidden, to keep our relationship to what she wanted, what she needed. Years to squash my feelings down into exactly what she needed, even if I was burning for her on the inside for so long. Do I feel it, this heat burning between us? Oh gods, yes. I have felt heat and burn and fire for her for a long time.

Her lips lingering on my neck, dragging towards my jaw. I can't help the way my eyes drift close and a soft groan, a sigh of breath that I release. I can't help the way her bold touch releases some part of what I felt for her. My body curls towards her automatically and my eyes open just as her lips touch the corner of mine.

That is all it takes for the fire I have been keeping to a smolder to roar to life inside me. I pause, the intensity of it surprising me. And it's that pause that causes her to turn away in embarrassment. It's that pause that makes her think I don't want her when I have wanted her every damn day since I met her.

"If I want?" I say as my lips touch her cheek, and then her neck. "I've wanted for a long time." I say as my teeth follow the path I had just made with my lips. The air around us hot and thick. "So no, mo chroi...I will not pretend. Not any more." My brogue thick with that heat as it falls from my mouth.