In this heart, this barless prison [Kimber, Ygritte/Kreios]

He left the group of Chamberlings frustrated and annoyed with himself. Nothing seemed to help with how to handle the situation he’d gone and gotten himself into with the blue mare. He had torn off into the tall trees that stood guard around Chamber and didn’t look back to see if the blue mare had followed. Part of him hoped she didn’t follow, as he didn’t think he could stand his own embarrassment, nor her harsh tones as he surely deserved a stiff word or two from the only mare that could drive him as crazy as she did. The spring sun was bright above him as he rushed away from chamber, rushed head first into another task, another mission, anything to not deal with any matter of the heart. Around him birds chirped and there were signs of new life—if you were willing to look beyond the scars the war had left on his dear Chamber. Underfoot, new grasses pushed up through the thick laid ash, all around him things started anew. The blood stained brown stallion was not able to follow suit, even deep down he longed to, deep down he wanted to not feel the constant ache for the blue mare, deep down he didn’t know how to do it.

A loud snap of a branch under the pressure of a hoof made him realize the object of his (currently unknown) affection had indeed followed him. She was rapidly moving closer, and he physically tensed as he waited for her words- his verbal lashing that was so very deserved, but none came. So he moved on, and Kimber stayed as she was, both bodies silently moving out of Chamber and into other lands as they worked towards Falls. The silence stretched for far too long, as they moved at hastened pace to the last known place their daughter had been spotted. For far too long his black dipped hooves pounded against the giving soil of the spring ground. The silence was so thick he didn’t know how to break it, any words he thought of were too flippant, too superficial, and quaint. Nymphetamine snapped his mouth shut time and time again, as nothing he thought to say was right. Eventually, he slowed as his muscles ached and he needed to rest. They were near a stream and he moved to it and lowered his head to drink. The cool spring waters washed over him and instantly set an icy feeling over his throat. It was the type of cold that you could follow as it moved down your throat and coated your stomach. It was an oddly comforting feeling, that he took momentary relief in it. Anything to distract him from the weight of Kimber’s stare on him. He knew she looked upon him, knew he had not been fair, knew she would soon say something as she always broke the silence first when neither of them knew what to say.

And then she did, she spoke, and it wasn’t the harsh angry words he had hoped for. She had spoken calmly, straightforward and simply. He wished she had been angry, he could hide behind anger, he knew how to postpone having the real talk they so desperately needed behind the façade of passionate anger. He knew he couldn’t hide behind her simple plea, to not berate and belittle her so publically. The stallion who was so very plain next to her “smurf butt blue” hue visually sank, his head held low, he froze himself there as he mentally pieced together how to move forward with the conversation that would follow. The moment held for what felt like an eternity, words piled together, formed and reformed. The time felt like an eternity, an internal life that he composed and conducted as if it were a grand symphony which ended in the most delicate of fades to give way to his true life. Nymphetamine exhaled and picked himself up as he turned to face the blue mare with the deep complex eyes. At first, he was sheepish in the knowledge she didn’t fully deserve the verbal lashings he so hastily dealt. ”I’m… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said those things back there. It was wrong, I just… Words failed him as the previous revelation that she was important to him came crashing back to the forefront of his mind. His eyes flashed with the weight of it, her life, her feelings, her well-being mattered to him more deeply than he ever previously thought. Kimber, the infuriating mare with the sharp tongue, was the only one who seemed to make him take notice of the larger picture. He could not keep stuffing this away to linger behind the false front of anger. If he ever hoped to move forward, in any way they had to have this talk.

He didn’t move, though something in him said he should reach to her he held still. They had been too tremulous and unstable to go there. He searched over her, looking for any sign that she thought him other than sincere, he needed her to believe him. He knew it was the only way he could go forward. If she were unable to believe him, he would have to close the door he was so close to opening. He doubted he would ever go there again, not after Keeva. The bay wouldn’t put himself out there again just for Kimber to just leave him high and dry like a joke. His words felt heavier than normal, as if they didn’t want to leave his throat, that they needed more air. Though when they finally did leave him to flow through the air they sounded normal- deep and full of feeling. ”It’s just that for whatever reason, it’s different with you. Obviously you know I’ve been with others since… and I have never cared if they told me about a possible foal from the time we spent together. I…I don’t mean to over share, I don’t know how… I---I just mean to say that I wanted that time with Vessel and Vaughan when they were young, it mattered to me, and I didn’t know that until the time was past and I could do nothing about it. I, I handled it all poorly…I know.”

He dared moving closer to her, not sure if she understood everything he tried to say, he wasn’t even sure of the depth of the feeling he held within him and knew he should keep them to himself until he knew for certain. But the necromancer knew he was ready to not harbor such bitter feelings towards Kimber. His hooves stopped him close enough to reach out to her, but far enough away he could react and pull away if she was still upset with him (and let’s face it, she wasn’t one or physical contact so one never knew with the spicy blue mare). Everything seemed to still as he reached out with his blackened muzzle, took in her scent, and lipped at her own muzzle in apology. His ebony pools danced with the weight that lifted from his shoulders even though he hadn’t actually heard her reply. Still, the conjurer held still as he shared the space with the mare. Even if only for a moment, it was nice to just be in the same place with Kimber and not feel the anxiety he had prior. He waited for a reply, a nod, a snort, anything. The moment was going to have to end soon enough as they both had a mission at hand, but he hoped to hold out for just a while longer. To soak in the feeling that they understood each other was was he needed more now than ever.

After another long pause the blood bay dared a final revelation with the blue mare. Look with this whole Vessel thing, be careful, yeah? Don’t go and be a hero… I don’t think I could handle it if something happened to you.” His tone grew serious and he searched her eyes, gazed into their depths, anchoring his words as deeply within her as she would allow. The words echoed in him mind and between them as the necromancer realized that it sounded too much like a confession of love and back peddled to lighten the mood ”You know… because I’d have to go find someone else to fight with… and to infuriate. It would just be a lot of work for me.” A smile, and light nip at her shoulder topped off the attempt to hide the depth of his feelings about the mare. The sun wasn’t going to stay high in the sky for them to continue their banter but he waited for her to say she was ready to move off. His heart raced as he replayed what he had shared and he had no clue what would come of it, but the saucy mare would surely have something to say.

The breeze picked up and Kimber was ready to go so he continued on to Falls. The rest of the way there was filled with different levels of conversation, though mostly silence and discussion of how to go about finding Vessel. They thundered together over the lands until the gentle landscape of Falls appeared before them. Floral notes and misty humid air floated to tickle his nose. He scanned the borderlands; Falls was nothing like Chamber and he understood what the sweet caring girl had seen here. He glanced at Kimber before he gave a curt nod and announced their presence. Someone here had to know something about their daughter, and he surely hoped they would be useful. He was tense, Chamber and Falls didn’t have a great relationship and he doubted the first instinct would be to expect a friendly visit. The lanky russet desert racer took strength from the fact that neither he nor Kimber would rest until Vessel was found and that they could work together in this at least. In that knowledge he took his solitude as he waited for the next step in their journey to unfold.

Nymphetamine

cold was my soul, untold was the pain I faced when you left me: a rose in the rain

It is with great trepidation that the blue mare treks beyond the Chamber's four corners. While they had stood strong in the face of war and adversaries, wars of the heart were much different and the longer you held the worse your odds got. She has always been emotionally stunted and it grates on her heavily to have any resemblance of feelings. If Kimber would admit it, this all boiled down to her feelings and the fact her ego had been bruised and her heart dug from a deep grave to be bait. The most she could do was just blame herself, that was something she could live with at least but she knows that her child missing is something she can't live with. Kimber didn't understand how her own mother could have left her for dead when her own children are two years of age and she's out looking for one.

She doesn't know her mother but she knows her well enough to know she never loved her.

The proverbially chip on the dip dyed mare's shoulder started early and it's no surprise the root of which all these problems started. Kimber sighs heavily as she maintains her speed but somehow, the necromancer has slowed and originally she had every intention of passing him and going first but he's the diplomat and she was just the cat, sharpening it's claws in the background. "Nymph, please do not belittle or berate me in the company of other kingdoms - we are not in a position to show we have quarrels amongst our own," she says looking at the ground, her humiliation was already present without prompting. She didn't understand why she let him bother her so much, they were just words and in all actuality it wasn't like anyone in the Chamber had made friends with her. She was a loner, despite being wrapped up in all the politics, she always secluded to the woods with nothing but her mental anguish. The blood bay hadn't quite got under her skin quite like she had his, unbeknownst to her, but his teeth were sunk in her and that was enough. Enough to drive her to try to wrangle from beneath it and thus far it wasn't working. There are people you know you should leave alone but you find yourself not being that strong and not really wanting to be. The minister made her want to be close to him in ways that she wasn't even comfortable with but her pride wanted to have her eyes hollowed out. Her heart pulsated quickly as he stumbles on an apology and moves closer to her and she side steps barely to the left, her initial response to just move forward without addressing this. It was done, what could possibly be said?

The Captain was not well rehearsed in terms of endearment.

She listens, calculating and curious for a moment as he talks of her being different. No shit she thinks to herself but says nothing as her amber eyes softly look the necromancer over, her brow no longer furrowed but then he mentions others. Her eyes turn harder, the pupils once large and forgiving spiral down to nothing. "Thank you for the apology but maybe you've just made this bigger than what it had to be," she says, staring up at him and wondering how she can dance around this topic without much injury, "isn't this how this all works? The men get all the pleasure, the women raise the children and the men start the cycle all over again? If we're being transparent here, do you really find yourself a family man? When I met you, I knew that something was amiss and it turns out I was right - why would one night of passion lead me to believe that you were ready anymore than I was to be a parent?" She is not angry but she is honest, they had only met days prior to sharing spit and sweat in the darkness of the Chamber. Kimber never wanted any of this but sometimes life gives you things that you need despite your wants. "We both knew the consequences of our decisions and neither of us cared about one another enough to work out the formalities if it happened," she says thinking back to a time when things seemed overwhelming but they were nothing compared to now. Nymph had been a way to get at Warship, a confirmation that she could be wanted since the one she wanted didn't want her as much. She never anticipated to be entangled for life, in some way or another. "I cannot give you that time back but they both have big hearts, Vaughan is a little harder to get to but Vessel is an open book - if you want it, go get it," she ends sharply, he reached out for her own face. She lipped at his muzzle, she pretended she was irritated, a flippant jerk and a swish of her black tail. Kimber was terrible at saying sorry, she was terrible at communication beyond a superficial level but she was trying. He should be appreciative, she doesn't try for anyone else. A wave of tranquility washed over her for a moment, no one had touched her since Nymph had two years ago - that realization was quite sad in itself. It felt like the waves crashing against the rocks transitioning back into the sea, unsettled and then almost methodically. She felt at east but the dip dyed mare hid herself away, she deserved more but never allowed it. Just as she would make it short lived now, "It's best if we don't touch," she comments, knowing that they couldn't be left alone together for fear of a fight or worse; more children. She swallows that pill hard, the truth of knowing yourself and how to set yourself on fire - and when not to. She moves forward as he starts speaking to her about Vessel, she is bullheaded but she is not ignorant.

The Beqanna Gods knew what they were doing when the created Kimber and granted her immortality.

She looks back towards the bay necromancer, "I'm not sure why you waste your precious words, you know that I'll do whatever I see fit," she snorts, almost as if scolding him for trying to father her but she knows that is not the sentiment, "but I'll do my best to see to it that you have your favorite punching bag is in working condition." She laughs a little, her amber eyes lighten as she walks beside the necromancer towards the Falls. She has heard thoughts of healing waterfalls, lush grass, fragrant flowers - all things that had never existed to her. A world full of beauty, how would Kimber even feel here? A shroud of insecurity falls over her temporarily as she thinks at all the light things and upon entering the kingdom she understands why her sweet daughter would choose such a home. Vessel encompassed all the good parts of Kimber, the ones she didn't think she had in herself, and expressed them. The blue mare smiles sheepishly as she thinks of she and Nymph's daughter, surely they would find her and return her to home. This home, this is where Vessel belonged. "I'm following your lead, Minister," she says warmly, though her face grows less welcoming not knowing the stance the new monarchy held for the Chamber. Only time would tell if this would be a peaceful (dare say pleasant?) venture or a start of a new recipe for war but in the meantime she wondered if these healing waters were real. Her shoulders ached with the formation of bones; wings forming and ready to expel from her body.

Kimber

You don't know how hard I fought to survive,
waking up alone when I was left to die