all that we have amassed sits before us, shattered into ash

When Demian abandoned the Valley (and her, but she doesn’t think of him that way, can’t think of him that way), it had been just another blow to an already very damaged heart. She had—at the time, but she is older now, more mature now—fancied the young jaguar king, imagined what it would be like if the stallion had admitted that he liked her, too. Oh, how she had been such a child at the time! A child unburnt, whole, beautiful. So much has changed since then; so much has changed because of him, because of her feelings, because of who she has been forced to become.

Abandonment sucks—she feels the need to let that be known. All her life she has known the harsh sting of abandonment; the only one who has remained a constant in her life is Gallows. She knows that the queen will always be available to lend an ear (and, perhaps, a few stern words to help her along) should Cress need it. Gallows has always treated her like a precious daughter, more so than her actual dam had ever done, and perhaps that is why Cress was so disappointed in Kindling when she met the grey mare. Kindling just hadn’t been the mothering type. Gallows could be harsh, but Cress would consider her more of a mother than Kindling.

Kindling had been cruel in her abandonment, of just not her but of her father as well.

She has heard the rumors and noticed the whispers, and the winds all agree on one thing: Demian is back. The first time she had heard the news, she had felt her flaming heart sink in her chest. Why had he come back? To disappear again? She does not want to get her hopes up about him (again) just to have him vanish like a shadow in the night. She cannot let herself be drawn to him; he’s just going to leave again. They always do. They always leave her in the dark, fumbling with the ever-changing Valley. Alone.

And yet, what else is she doing on this sweltering summer day? Seeking him out against her better judgment. She knows better than to do this but she does it anyways—she is stupid, or she is sick. Perhaps she is a little of both; she has always been told she is clever, but she doesn’t see it. She should lead a peace caste if she lets her heart rule all of her decisions. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

The greying jaguar isn’t hard to find—he’s never been hard to find—but she finds herself hanging back when she finally sees him. He is as handsome as ever, paler than ever… but he is Demian, and inexplicably she is drawn to him. “So, you’re back,” she states as she brings herself closer, and for once it feels as though the flames in her chest have been smothered.

“Why’d you leave me?” Fuck. The Valley. Why’d you leave the Valley. But it’s too late now, it’s already out and there’s no turning back now. He’s going to take this entirely the wrong way…

She’s definitely stupid.

cress

oxytocin x kindling