[private] I might go interstellar - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: OOC (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=24) +--- Forum: Archive (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=81) +---- Forum: Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=98) +----- Forum: Nerine (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=91) +------ Forum: Icicle Isle (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=102) +------ Thread: [private] I might go interstellar (/showthread.php?tid=29929) Pages:
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I might go interstellar - Ciri - 07-24-2021 all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was Time seemed to pass so slowly now. Nashua had not been back since the day he had flown into the sky on the heels of her bad news. The North seemed even quieter then usual with his absence. She hadn’t seen Padme or Mourna in months, she hadn’t been able to find them since the attack, and it seemed all that remained on the Isle were her and Leilan who had stayed behind temporarily. She should fix that, she thinks. She should go out and find others, should do something besides wander the snowy island with only her thoughts for company. Yet every day the sun rises and she is still here.
At first she had blamed the travel. It was hard to get across to the mainland without magic and although her legs had fully healed, the thought of such a trip was exhausting. She had fallen asleep after considering it and awoken, different. Dark feathery wings dusted with starlight poked out over her shoulders and along her backside. She extended them thoughtfully and the way her stars danced along her back made her think this was yet another gift from her old homeland in the sky above. A little motivation, a little nudge in the right direction to seek out the quest the fairy had given her. One that would bring her closer to what she had always been. For the next few days she practiced with her new wings, finding the distraction welcoming. Easy things at first, like flying over the lake from the burning tree to the opposite side. Jumping off high points until the wind caught beneath her feathers, gliding her to a safe landing spot. Slowly she became more comfortable but still she did not leave the Isle. It just didn’t feel right, when Nash was still gone. When Leilan was still anxiously waiting to continue on his own personal quest. The air is slightly warmer where she stands amongst the burnt remains of the glassy beach, contemplative as always as she gazes past the sea to the lands beyond. The feathers along her back ruffle with the breeze, her stars dim in the early morning light. “I died.” She thinks again as she usually does when she looks past the ocean waters where gray skies meet dark earth, as she stares at her past and that summer night in the Meadow. “I died but yet I’m here.” Why? For what purpose? The answers pass her by as they always do and so she flares her wings, watches the waves, and thinks. -- Ciri @Nashua RE: I might go interstellar - Nashua - 07-25-2021
With his family becoming the focal point in his mind - retrieving his youngest child, protecting Noel, and assuring that their other children remained safe with their shadow kin - Nashua hadn't returned to the Isle. His mind had been full of worries and in the face of a Curse that has afflicted his family for generations, he had lost part of himself in the history of it. @Ciri @Leilan for being mentioned / in case he wanted to pop in RE: I might go interstellar - Ciri - 07-28-2021 all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was There had been plenty of times where she had faced death but the Curse had made it a reality. Although the irritation of whose face it had been to give the final blow still bothered her, it wasn’t what kept her trapped in her own head. She had always thought when she had died that she would return to the heavens, back into the fold of stars from whence she had came. The old images of the life she had lived in the sky long before she had been born into this mortal plane still lingered vaguely in her mind, memories shown to her from the Underneath. She had been a star once, she had assumed she would become one again.
So when her death had only led to blackness… when she had gone absolutely nowhere only to awaken with broken legs, a fresh scar over the old ones on her chest, and her own crusted blood around her… It had stung. It had hurt. And it had scared her more than anything else she had faced in this world. It wasn’t the pain of death… No… It was the nowhere that had followed that keeps her up at night. That she hadn’t risen back to the stars, that she hadn’t gone anywhere at all. The absolute pointlessness of the life she had lived so far and of the void that seemed to be calling her back. Taunting her. What was the point now? What was the point in living when all that’s waiting for her is empty darkness? Wouldn’t it be better to just accept death now? She hears his hooves crunching against the shattered glass long before he speaks. In the moments of his approaching, she finally comes to a few decisions. Choices that she hadn’t been sure of until the moment she knew Nashua had come back. But now she makes them, considered and firmly decided on. Despite the temptation beyond the void, she has no desire to die. Again. Ciri had always held a black streak of stubborn resistance and it rings true now as her resilience refocuses on to one simple thing. Revenge. Even if it was pointless, it was all she had in this life. So she grasps it as well as the constant anger burning in the pit of her stomach and decides to live anyways. So she makes her next choice, taking all the trauma from that night in the Meadow and pushes it all down, down, down into that part of her where she holds all her old unresolved hurts. All those wounds that had never fully healed. In goes the empty death next to the loss of her son. Carefully she shelves the unanswered questions of betrayal regarding Gale (if it had ever been Gale) next to the scarred over remains of the love she once had for Amet and Castile. And she sweeps and gathers all those broken pieces of herself and continues to stuff them into the hole of her creation until he speaks. She pauses for a moment, her thoughtful gaze changing into something else. When she finally turns to him, there is a small smile on her lips but it doesn’t seem to reach the swirling silver of her eyes, the metallic hue somewhat colder now. Harder. “Fine.” She lies easily, smoothly, as she unfurls the dark starlit wings off her back and flares them as she turns around to face him. She is relieved to see him in one piece but it also means one thing. Gale must still live. And that wouldn’t do. “Where is he?” -- Ciri @Nashua RE: I might go interstellar - Nashua - 08-01-2021 Nashua almost wished that Ciri would be angry with him. RE: I might go interstellar - Ciri - 08-02-2021 all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was There had been a moment when she had thought to direct her anger at Nashua. She remembers the recognition in his eyes when she had told him of Gale, as if he had known exactly what he was before he had flown off and left her there, half-healed and emotionally shattered. As if he knew exactly what had happened. Those first few days when she had been entirely consumed in her rage, she had thought of unleashing herself on the Freyr of the North. For not warning her, for allowing all this to happen. And while her anger had yet to fade, she realized that there was only one who truly deserved the brunt of it. And it wasn’t Nash.
For a moment they simply look at each other and whatever leftover hurt she feels towards him, over being kept in the dark, fades as she sees the regret in his eyes. And the storm amongst the green that matches the one inside her. He looks away and she follows his gaze to the northern lights. Once they had brought her much joy but now she can barely stand to look at them or her beloved stars. She hadn’t taken a night patrol in months, no longer having the stomach for it. It was pointless when she didn’t even have the heart to summon her shield anymore. She remains quiet when he speaks, quiet in the pause that follows except for a slight ruffling of her feathers at the question that’s not meant to be answered. She says nothing to his bitter words, simply takes them and swallows them where they hit the wall of her grief. And just like that her anger fades, just for a moment, as the sadness rises and finally breaks free. The tears that had managed to break free that day she had been broken were simply from pain and anger. She hadn’t cried since. Until now where they stream freely and quietly down her cheeks, tracing dark paths along the savaged skin of her face, dropping from her tightened jaw where she grits her teeth. Gale hadn’t been the first kind person she had met when she had returned to Beqanna but he had been the only one to stick around. Had been the first real friend she had in gods knows how long. She feels the ache of his loss surround her already bruised and broken heart and she turns her head away from his brother, unwilling to let him see this moment of weakness in her as she attempts to grasp the anger again, tries to feel its burn and nothing else. It’s easier once he speaks of “It”. Gives her a chance to refocus as she clings to the surge of rage that stops her tears and drowns herself in it until the breeze dries the dampness from her cheeks. She snorts softly as he speaks of the North being banned from Hyaline. Has half a mind to challenge that ban right then and there despite the warning behind his words. Despite his heed of patience. “I’m tired of waiting Nashua.” She finally snaps, as if she hadn’t been patient enough these last few months alone on the Isle. She barely hears him now, a ringing in her ears drowning out his common sense and pain. Missing the way he includes her as family now. The flames of her anger encase her so firmly that when she spits her reply she includes things she hadn’t even meant to say. “I want to be the one that ends it. I want to kill it the same way it killed me.” -- Ciri @Nashua oh good they can be angsty together RE: I might go interstellar - Nashua - 08-04-2021 Nashua has to close his eyes against an all-consuming rage; it brews within him just as it fuels Ciri and her scorching words. The chestnut pegasus doesn't begrudge her that anger. He understands it, he realizes - Nash understands the emotion for what it is, because it had been the same one that had left the Thane half-healed and emotionally struggling on the Isle while he had made a frantic journey to Taiga. It had been anger that fueled him to the misty Northern Forest and it had been that fury that had nearly spear-headed he and Noel into Hyaline afterward. The remnants of a deep wound that Nashua has suffered since his foalhood. RE: I might go interstellar - Ciri - 08-09-2021 all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was It was worse than she could even imagine.
It had been bad enough, what the Curse had done to her. What it had done to Gale. But if it had Nashua’s son… Her own internal struggle seems to pale in the enormity of what Nashua reveals and quietly she reaches for him, placing her dark muzzle to rest silently on his russet shoulder in painful understanding. She knew all too well what it was like to have your child snatched from you and raised by another against your will. Memories of discovering her grown son in the other world of Eternal, raised and devoted to Jah-Lilah, had always left a bitter taste in her mouth. As if she had been betrayed by those she had trusted most with the one thing that had meant most to her. There had never been any other choice in who would raise her child back then, she had trusted Jah like a mother. But something had felt off when she had found them again, something had shifted, as if she was intruding. Replaced. She wants to fight against his wisdom, wants to rally against the sense in his warnings. Yet she can’t deny the truth in his words and she could scream with the frustration of it all, of this nearly impossible task set before them. "Kill him and you condemn someone else" he says and she snarls, pacing away from him as she unfurls the midnight wings fully from her back and snaps them in agitation. “So what am I to do Nashua? What happens when we inevitably run into him? Shall I just let him kill me over and over again until he grows bored and leaves me dead for good? How long do we wait till he tires of your son?” Perhaps it is a low blow and despite the truth in her concern she’s instantly flooded with guilt and finds she cannot meet Nash's gaze. The silence that follows her outburst is deafening and she cannot look at him, her cold silver eyes turned back on the burnt remains of the beach. Considering the destruction left in the wake of Castile’s fire. Sometimes you need to take big risks for big rewards. Perhaps it was time to stop thinking as a simple fighter and start thinking smarter, like the dragon kings she had once known and loved. Nashua’s voice drags her from her thoughts as he speaks of going to Loess and Nerine. A trip doesn’t even come close to putting a stopper on her rage but she bites her tongue as she finally nods in agreement and does her best to swallow her anger even as the sparks of fury singe the back of her throat. “What about the rest of the Isle? We can’t leave them unguarded.” She asks quietly, finally looking back at him over her shoulder and peeking through star-dusted feathers. The residents may not be many but that wasn't an excuse to leave them as sitting ducks if the Curse felt like breaking someone else's legs. Another pause before she asks an even softer and more uncertain question. "Do you think he could still be in there somewhere? Gale?" Is there still a chance to save him or was he truly lost for good? -- Ciri RE: I might go interstellar - Nashua - 08-10-2021 Nashua looks back at the sky above, a sort of half-night that always seemed to linger on the Isle. Daylight did come in the summer months but the further that the sun drifted towards the autumn, the days would grow so short on the Northern Island that come winter, it lasted only mere hours. The sky above Ciri and Nash is dark; not quite as deep as true night but his green eyes glint on the varying shades of the Aurora. RE: I might go interstellar - Ciri - 08-10-2021 all of time and space, everywhere and anywhere, every star that ever was She can see his temper flaring deep within his summer eyes and knows that she’s pushing it, blatantly speaking to her King with open disrespect. She hopes he views her through the lens of a friend and not as a King. Not today.
She listens to him silently, sullen and somber, but each word wedges itself into painful pieces of her. And when it comes to the matter of Gale, if there was even a Gale to matter about, the gravity of it all settles firmly across her scarred back and settles as a heavy burden just beneath her wings. The fact that he thinks this Curse has come back as something more terrible than before… It’s too much. It’s all too much. This wasn't just a normal fight, a light boxing match. This was charging into a full on war. He probably hadn’t done it intentionally but his warning slices through her like a sharp blade. A muscle begins to work in her jaw as she raises her head slightly, her silvery gaze freezing over into pure ice. Killed again. It echos over and over in her brain. “We wouldn’t want that would we.” She says softly, too softly. A sort of deadliness in her tone, her voice strangled near the end. Perhaps she had deserved that dig, after bringing up his son. Knowing how much pain and fear he must be feeling. Slowly she forces herself to relax but the fire in her belly refuses to die, the flames licking at her throat as the anger wraps its hot embrace around her, flickering in the stars that hover protectively around her. “I’m sorry.” She finally says. A pause. “You’re not the one I’m angry at.” -- Ciri @Nashua RE: I might go interstellar - Nashua - 08-11-2021 His temper finally loosens and sparks his tongue. |