[mature] heaven help me for the way I am - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: OOC (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=24) +--- Forum: Archive (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=81) +---- Forum: Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=98) +----- Forum: Hyaline (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=92) +----- Thread: [mature] heaven help me for the way I am (/showthread.php?tid=29719) Pages:
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heaven help me for the way I am - Mazikeen - 06-14-2021 rated M for probable sex and violence mazikeen @[Gale] RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Gale - 06-18-2021
RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Mazikeen - 06-19-2021 mazikeen @[Gale] RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Gale - 06-20-2021
RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Mazikeen - 06-21-2021 mazikeen @[Gale] RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Gale - 06-22-2021
RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Mazikeen - 06-22-2021 Mazikeen can shut down a lot of her thoughts, but her reaction to him returning her gesture of affection is instinctual. A low, soft purr radiates out from deep within her and she only has half a mind to think about how much she hates that it is so easy. Just a little bit of attention to her neck is all it takes. She shouldn’t enjoy this at all - certainly shouldn’t feel a small flush of pleasure. Shouldn’t be aware that the vivid orange of her markings dims as a few, though not all, of them blink out of existence. But her purring ceases when he replies to her question - a shudder running through her though she makes no attempt to move away. All she does is stop nuzzling his pale golden feathers for a moment before resuming, giving herself a few seconds to think with what little clarity she’ll allow herself. Mazikeen does not enjoy cruelty - for all her fierceness, she hadn’t enjoyed when she tore Firion apart, hadn’t wanted to hurt Gale after his “joke” about being just friends. She cares too much and that also translates to preferring to be treated with affection. It’d been so easy to love Gale, with his kind touch and even their lustful moments were still sweet. The way her feathers are being preened is an echo of that Gale, enough to be both wonderful and awful. She finds herself wondering whether the Curse will be as selfish and rough with her as he was the first time - and it’s with a detached version of curiosity that she realizes she’d like to find out. She isn’t sure anymore what she’d prefer. Is it better for it to be how it was? Or better to drown those memories with something else entirely? The new reality she is trying to fit herself into so she can survive it. “I suspect we’ll have some difference of opinion on what is considered a fair price.” She muses, resuming her exploration of his neck, pressing her body into him a little more. Mazikeen with her damned heart would give away the captives for free as soon as someone came to claim them and she doubts he will be so giving. “But maybe we’ll find a way to compromise.” He doesn’t have to do any such thing, she knows - but the suggestion is more playful than it is serious, something she might have said to the other Gale, right down to the way a small smile appears in her orange eyes. RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Gale - 06-22-2021 With each new lifetime, the Curse has evolved. Born of bitter blackness, it has adapted with each host, and grown more powerful. The vitriol of the Monsters had aided him in driving Gale out far more quickly than he had his sire. The Dark God, who had Seen through time and imagination, had turned the brindle’s fear into reality, and had given true life to the Cursed mind that now calls itself Gale. Always before it has been rage and want, capable of mimicking otherwise when necessary, but feeling not a thing but greed and fury once destroying the host and gaining enough powers to wreck havoc on the world around it. Why then, does he possess the ultimate ability and still find himself wanting more? When the Curse had told Mazikeen that he expected a child from her, he’d done so hoping she’d refuse, hoping for a reason to hurt her. He hadn’t needed a reason, not really, and she’d agreed anyway and so he’d never looked back at his hesitance. He should have, he thinks now, perhaps it would have added some clarity to his present state of mind. He does want to destroy her, to rip her open and gnaw the marrow from her bones, to feel the way the blood drips from his teeth. Yet as she presses her body against him, he finds himself wanting something else as well. Not wanting instead of, simply more than. Not blood, but the taste of her skin beneath his lips, and the sound of her breath catching as he touches the column of her throat. The rending of her heart from her chest had been pleasurable. He decides now, as she smiles up at him, that he will have it metaphorically as well, that he will possess each and every last bit of the orange eyed woman. That, perhaps, will be enough. (The bile of Wrongness lingers, so like the Curse had once haunted Gale, but he finds he, too, can push it away while he looks at Mazikeen.) Shifting to something with limbs more capable of caressing her, Gale says softly just below her ear as he does: “I don’t compromise. But I don’t mind if you make up the difference in other ways.” @[Mazikeen] RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Mazikeen - 06-22-2021 He doesn’t compromise, but Mazikeen thinks that’s not quite true. He had once, before she had broken their first deal. Her burning eyes closing to better savour the sensation of words spoken softly beneath her ear as a more pleasant shudder runs through her. She can make up the difference in payment, he tells her, and this satisfies Mazikeen. It is always better, in her mind, for her to pay the price for others. If it is a pound of flesh or something more along the lines of what they are doing now, she would do it. A piece of that smile lingers when she replies in a quiet, teasing voice. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She shifts to match him, another instinct - another thing to not let herself think about as she touches him back. It is so easy to do this, too easy. Mazikeen feels like she is slipping faster away from herself, faster than she intended, but the feeling of being lost in this is welcomed. This isn’t anything like happiness, but it’s the closest she’s felt to it since she first looked upon her children and that makes her hold on a little tighter. More burning markings fade until it is only just the near-permanent ones down her spine. This time, there will be no piece of Gale in the baby. This time, it is just her and the Curse. It may not happen tonight, it may take many more meetings for that strange feeling to flutter within her again, but Mazikeen isn’t worried about that. She doesn’t mind, not when he caresses her like she’s not alone in the wanting and that new heart in her chest beats wildly. She lets herself believe they are in this together and that somehow, there is this small piece of power that she has over him. She traces the glowing scars, the ones she has only faint memories of giving him, while asking in a low voice “How obedient would you like me to be tonight?” She uses her teeth to nip at his skin, testing and teasing and she forgets to hate herself or cringe at his touch. Sabal had asked her not to give up but if this is what giving up feels like - it doesn't seem so terrible. @Gale RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Gale - 06-23-2021 The autumn wind is cool against his skin, and he shivers as he chuckles at her reply. Though he has her promise of obedience, it hadn’t come through breaking her, and it shows in the boldness with which she speaks. She is still daring, even after he’s ripped her to shreds and devoured her, and her lack of fear delights him. In another lifetime, it would have enraged him. It should enrage him in this lifetime as well. That it does not is Wrong, and yet he finds that he does not care. Not now, not tonight. He wants her, and perhaps more than that wants to know that she wants him the same way. Just then she shifts to match him, and the coincidence is too much. He laughs against her shoulder where he has been kissing, and as the fires fade from her skin, he pulls her down to the grass beside him. For a while he loses himself, focused entirely on the orange-eyed creature that smiles up at him and the way her touch sets him ablaze. Her question - how obedient does he want her? - pulls him back to reality, and the reminder that she is here because he has told her to be. The realization feels cold, like a winter snow atop his burning desire, and he falls still in his caresses. She’d been teasing, her touch says, yet his hand against her chin now holds her face steady rather than pulling it toward him. He meets her gaze without a smile, his eyes tracking the way he runs his thumb below her lip with a fierce blue intensity. He must shove the Wrongness away again, and with it the clarity that might have warned him this might be a blunder. The Curse has had her only once before, when he’d hoped it would break her, but that had failed. He still wants to break her, but not all of her. Only what parts of her might still belong to Gale, and only so he might have them himself. But he does not have the words to express this, or the lack of self-preservation that such a confession would require. So instead he kisses her, slowly at first and then with growing intensity. “Tell me that you want me,” he says against her ear as his hands travel down her sides in soft caresses, “and then show me that it’s true.” @[Mazikeen] |