Help me out before I drown
Save me now before I give up

When she had taken off into the sky, a blaze of twilight and feathers, if she had looked over her shoulder she would have seen the regret reflecting in that gold flecked eye. This was for the best, he reminded himself. It was better to let her go, better to let that offer fade from his mind. It didn’t help, the conflicting emotions that stirred around the silent glass heart. Because he had wanted to accept it, had wanted to assent to her offer of help. It wasn’t pride that held him back, whatever minuscule threads of pride and ego he ever held had vanished a long time ago. It was fear that controlled him, fear of himself and the fear of her. The possibility of getting close to her, close to anyone, could be his undoing. It wasn’t worth it. Was it?

He didn’t sleep well that night, his mind refusing to shut down and spiraling with the built up anxiety that finally overtook him as the sun dipped behind the mountains. When he didm manage to find sleep in the early morning hours, it was filled with the nightmares of her. Ellyse baiting him and shattering his crystal heart, Dahmer and Magnus bonding and laughing in the background, Adaline’s screams as she fell and broke to pieces. Just before dawn though, a wild warm laughter drowned out the glass girl’s screams. White wings turned to ocean blue. Molten amber eyes gazed at him with humor and Ledger found out that she did indeed hold the fragrance of her color (lilacs and lavender) as his muzzle buried itself in the curled tangles of her unruly tresses. His slumber was peaceful long after dawn had risen.

It had been a few days since the chance encounter with Oceane and in that time, a flurry of activity suddenly appeared in the Meadow with the arrival of a portal. Of course the one eyed stallion was incredibly wary. It was hard for him to disassociate magical transportation as anything but bad, seeing how usually it meant ending up under the Mountain in Carnage’s maniacal grasp again. However, he watched as horses entered the portal and then came back through it.. Laughing and none the worse for wear. Finally his curiosity won out and he asked another traveler what the deal was. “It’s a party, a fair to celebrate the return of the sun!” The other stallion had answered with a grin before stepping through the portal.

Snapping his flaxen tail in agitation, Ledger considered the magic before him. It was the bear that finally convinced him, sensing the ice and snowfall that taunted it beyond the veil. Surely it couldn’t hurt to check it out? Despite the years of caution instilled in him, when the bear really wanted something.. He got it. Uneasily, Ledger stepped through the portal. In seconds, he was standing in a tundra like landscape. The northern lights danced gold and green in the sky above. Snowflakes fell around them and the cold air hit him with a blast. Ledger relaxed instantly, feeling completely comfortable in this chilly environment. The bear was beyond ecstatic, wanting to come out. Ledger wrestled for control of his shifting, there were so many horses around them. It wasn’t a good idea. But once his gaze landed on the large piles of snow, it was no longer a battle he could resist.

The glowing constellation brand on his flank seemed to get brighter as he shifts. Claws sprang from hooves, shaggy white fur spreading over his chestnut skin like wildfire, the gold flecked eye turning into a smaller beadier predators version of itself. As his snout elongates and sharp teeth broke through the old herbivore ones, a roar of approval grumbled deep in his chest and without an ounce of grace, the polar bear dove headfirst into the snowdrift. Looking like a gigantic terrifying puppy, the bear rolled and tumbled in the snow, glittering flakes sticking to his fur until finally he lays on his back and gives a contented sigh, a fanged smile on his bear lips as he closes his good eye and for the first time in a long time allows himself to just feel good.

Ledger

Help me out before I drown
Save me now before I give up

His eye is closed, the mound of snow supporting his large back almost like a big comfy chair. The coldness seeps through his thick fur and he seems to purr with contentment. That all comes to a screeching halt when a familiar voice whispers his name, tight but curious. He doesn’t open that eye right away as the well-known sensation of panic rises in his chest. If his heart could beat it would be pounding. Oh shit.

Slowly the eye opens, the gold flecks landing on her squinted gaze. On the small smile that plays across her lips. It eases the panic a little, that she doesn’t seem frightened or mad. A sheepish grin seems to find its way to his own toothy mouth as he lifts a single paw and gives her a little wave. He hadn’t expected to keep his shifting a secret forever, it was inevitable and had been a well known fact long before he had gone mad and disappeared. Out of all his issues, the shifting was the easiest part of it to explain. It was everything else that made it harder, more complex and complicated.

He’s saved from having to immediately explain himself by a voice behind her. Sarcasm weaves around the friendly tone and it’s obvious the approaching stallion knows Oceane well. He takes the opportunity to sit up from the snowdrift and stands up on his back legs, towering over the horses as he shakes the snow from his fur. And then the bright white fur shrinks into a flowing flaxen mane, the chestnut flesh spreading as muscles and bones snap and remake themselves. short stubby ears turn into curved ones, his snout morphs and teeth become blunted. It only takes a few seconds to be back in his normal body and a hoof strikes at the granite that punches out from the snow, his gaze uncertain as he looks between the two of them. The brand on his flank and the one on his chest glowing brightly as the northern lights illuminate down upon them.

The large draft metallic stallion introduces himself as Leilan, the host of the party and he assumes the Isle itself. The predator within him can pick up something familiar in the other but to what exactly that is remains unknown to him. Years of diplomatic training and experience runs deep enough within him to gain his composure and he dips his muzzle slightly in greeting. “A pleasure Leilan, I’m Ledger. I appreciate the open invite, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen the snow.” A small smile remains on his lips as the one eyed stallion glances at Oceane. She’s exactly as he remembered but more beautiful then he realized, now that he was closer to her. As he’s scanning her entire body, from head to wings to tail, he doesn't think of Ellyse once and misses the importance of this.

Leilan speaks of cacti and it must be some sort of inside joke between the two of them but he inserts himself into the banter easily. “I did not. Did you?” He inquires to Oceane, his dark eye glittering with humor. There is much he wants to say to her, to ask her, but this is not the time or place. So instead, he looks back to the roan man and asks with open curiosity. “You rule this place yes? I’ve been absent from the politics of Beqanna for quite sometime and fear there’s much I’m unaware of.” His intention is clear, hoping that Leilan might casually explain the current rulers and structure of the lands since he is truly ignorant of everything he had missed. The other purpose is to serve as buffer between him and Oceane and all those explanations that he owes her and would eventually have to answer for.

Ledger

Help me out before I drown
Save me now before I give up

The sheepish grin spreads as she throws back her head and lets out such pure laughter, god he likes it when she laughs. The thought sobers him immediately, unable to help the walls and barriers that instantly spring up as he realizes how much he does like her company. That was an unsafe thought and nothing good could come from it. He’s thankful that she engrosses their host in conversation as he shifts and pulls himself together, missing the way she side-eyes him when he falls back into old habits. She quips at him and he easily banters back. “Ah, perhaps I should look harder next time.” Diplomacy was an easy shield to wear when needed and when he was in the right state of mind.

The other two joke for a minute and he allows himself to be distracted, looking to the others enjoying the festival and enjoying the cold air that breezes against his short fur. There’s a moment when he wishes to look back at Oceane, to see her in this new relaxed state that he hadn’t really seen in her before. However he stands to her left with the empty socket exposed to her, unable to catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of an eye so he instead looks to the roan stallion which is much less inconspicuous.

It takes a moment for Leilan’s words to land but his brow raises slowly as he finally puts it together. Oceane leads the southern kingdom of Loess. Oh. Well that explained a lot didn’t it. No wonder she held herself the way she did, how she offered him the spot in Loess without a worry of what the kingdom thought. Because it was her kingdom. Of course it was, of course. It seems they had both been hiding obvious truths.

He takes the information given and stores all of it away for further processing. “There’s nothing wrong with a lull. Peace can be hard to come by.” He finally says after the break down in politics, a knowing tone in his raspy voice. Images of the burning tree in the Gates spring to mind, of a dark cell beneath the Mountain. A bitter taste spreads on his tongue and he can’t help the way the gold flecks in his dark eye seem to molten. “It never seems to stay quiet for long anyways.” He says with a shrug of a scarred shoulder, knowing too well that there was always something dark lurking around the corner.

This was a happy occasion though and he refuses to be the downer of the group. Not today when the northern lights dance above his head, with the company of others that don’t shy away from what he is or know the pain he has caused. “Perhaps you wouldn’t mind bringing some of that snow to Loess after all Leilan. There’s a cave there with my name on it and I plan on making it comfortable.” He hadn’t meant to take her offer. He hadn’t meant to let anyone know if he had. But he can’t help but try to catch her as off guard as she had just gotten him. And maybe it's because he's not so out of place here and maybe it's because he knows there's plenty of others with magic that could stop him if he loses control but most likely it's because he's feeling normal for a change that he shifts back into the bear and sits back on his haunches, rubbing his two front paws together like a mischievous child. "Now what is there to do at this party?" It had been a long time since he had allowed himself any fun, maybe he could have just a little today.

Ledger

Help me out before I drown
Save me now before I give up

A broad grin spreads easily on his lips at Leilan’s terrible pun. “I like you.” He states bluntly, genuine warmth reflecting in the gold flecked eye. “And he has a point.” His gaze turning back to Oceane with a slight shrug of his clawed shoulder. It wasn’t that he couldn’t live in warmer climates since he didn’t really spend that much time in his shifted state. However, the moment Carnage had placed the bear within him he had found it harder to stand hot summers and humid nights. He merely nods in acknowledgment of the offer to visit. Perhaps one day he would be able to accept but for now… He glances towards the party, towards the horses that gather by the flickering tree and race with laughter falling from their lips. Doubt flickers in his mind, how by even being here could be a risk. Still he doesn’t feel the familiar feeling of panic crushing his lungs. For now, he feels relaxed. Normal. Surely staying just a little longer will be alright.

Leilan lays out their options for fun. He pointedly looks at the bear with as he lays out the rules “No Cheating” and he chuckles lightly, using a claw to point to the empty socket where an eye had once resided. It’s hard to miss how the socket’s scars perfectly match the sharp claws he uses to gesture. “You don’t have to worry about that from me.” Whatever advantage he had in this form was canceled out by the disadvantage of his blind side. He looks at Oceane when the dance is mentioned and for a moment he wonders what she would look like dancing beneath the northern lights. Would she let her hair down so to speak like that? Pushing the image from his mind he lowers himself to all four paws. “Maze it is!”

Ledger