give my all just to watch you fall; any - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: Explore (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: The Common Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=72) +---- Forum: Meadow (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=3) +---- Thread: give my all just to watch you fall; any (/showthread.php?tid=28274) |
give my all just to watch you fall; any - Titanya - 11-14-2020 give my all just to watch you fall Ischia begins to smother her, so she escapes the island and heads to the mainland. It is temporary, she knows, because her life is not only her own. Not anymore. She feels the other life stirring within her, a sensation she had hoped never to experience. She wasn’t meant to be a mother, wasn’t meant to harbor life and nourish it and be responsible for how it grew up. She wasn’t destined for any of it. Titanya is a selfish creature at heart. She is meant for the wild places and the constant movement of her feet or paws over ever-changing earth. She is meant to be an outsider, to live on the fringes and coexist with others as infrequently as possible. This baby will ground her and tie her to a place and its people. This baby will make her forever linked to the other one responsible for its creation. And though it’s not the baby’s fault, she knows she can’t let any of that happen. Titanya will go back to Ischia for a time, at least, but not now. Not now when it is still a secret between her and the rare fluttering of her sides that she knows is a growing child of her and Halcyon. She skulks through the trees around the meadow as a tiger. Blood stains her muzzle and her belly is full (the baby quieter than ever as it seems to similarly enjoy the spoils of a successful hunt). She eyes the milling horses through the bare tree branches with a marginally lessened level of disdain than normal. Something about being pregnant has made her itchy for companionship. Or maybe it is from all the time she is spending with the islanders, catching their need for kinship like an inevitable virus. Titanya pushes her snout through the last layer of dead foliage, remembers herself, and rises into her black and white equine form. No need to cause a stampede even if it would be delightfully chaotic. She moseys through the dried out grasses, taking a bite here and there to blend in even though she is dreadfully stuffed already. She is hungry for something else, though. Hungry for something different, anything to take her mind off of the inevitable thing that will be happening come spring. Titanya @[Colby]@[Cassi]@[hanna] : or whoever! I know you guys wanted a post at some point =) RE: give my all just to watch you fall; any - rapt - 11-15-2020 rapt rapt. there is a dream in the space between the hammer and the nail
but the nail will take the hit if it gets to sleep inside the wood forever @[Titanya] RE: give my all just to watch you fall; any - Titanya - 11-24-2020 give my all just to watch you fall The creeping sensation of being watched sends a tingle along her neck. It starts at the base and rises along the crest of her neck until she is turning her head towards the source. Her ears flatten, just a little, just like old times. He is a gilded, striking shape even amongst the new spring-bloom, but something about the image isn’t quite right. He looks uncommitted to where he’s at or where he’s found himself; she wonders if he wants to run. She sees the lines of hesitancy etched across his body and wants to exploit them, she finds, as she might have a lifetime ago. That same need to messily unpeel and dismantle to locate the meaty center of him still lingers within her. It is surprising, this need. She thought the wild parts of herself had been straightened and civilized by her time with Halcyon and the Ischians, or at least marginally. Instead, the predator has grown sharper on the rare times it is freed. Titanya takes a purposeful step towards the other. She’s never been one to withhold her own secrets, so when Rapt asks, she is all too eager to oblige. Letting loose the tiger is always like coming home (moreso than any place she’s ever been), but this time, she only shifts parts of herself. Her eyes switch from deep amber to bright gold when she blinks. Her fur ripples and grows longer and becomes painted with orange stripes by an invisible hand. Sharp canines poke out of the corners of her mouth and pull it into a feral grin. She looks like she’s either keen to wish Rapt a good day or ready to devour him on the spot. She decides to wait and see how the conversation goes before she makes any rash decisions either way. “Titanya.” The need for formalities is irritating; she swishes her dark tail against her hocks before shifting that, too, into the tiger’s longer appendage. With it, she increases the density in order to behead several wildflowers behind her. “I was trying to blend in and not scare the locals.” She gestures over one shoulder with her head. “But why should I change who I am for their sake?” Titanya steps closer to the stallion, her gold eyes drinking in his gold, watching the lines of him for any reaction. “You’re not scared, are you?” She growls, close to him now, the sound low like gravel in her throat. Titanya @[Cassi] RE: give my all just to watch you fall; any - rapt - 12-08-2020 rapt rapt. there is a dream in the space between the hammer and the nail
but the nail will take the hit if it gets to sleep inside the wood forever @[Titanya] RE: give my all just to watch you fall; any - Titanya - 12-26-2020 give my all to watch you fall “You’re right,” she says, the tail end of the growl a pleasant vibration on her tongue. She hasn’t tried to bend to normalcy until recently, not until after the fire turned her to ashes which then reassembled and reattached her body to her soul. There had been something about dying that had given her the desire to look inside herself for the first time. She had thought death was her punishment for living a selfish, solitary life. She had thought that this second life was a chance for redemption at the expense of her own freedom. But becoming alive again stoked a new fire within her, too. She rebels against her self-made bonds at every turn. Today is no different. Back on Ischia, her family waits. That sweet, sweet man that had given her children that she never wanted waits on the island shores to try to appease her and make things simpler. But things with Titanya will never be simple; nothing will ever be straight-forward, as well-intentioned as any might be. She loves them – dangerously so – but she cannot and will not forsake her wildness for the chains they would bind her with. Rapt here is easier. Rapt shivers like the prey he is, and the tigress knows all too well how to handle things that are inherently weaker than she. “Maybe a ghost, then?” If he wants less tangible, she will oblige him yet again. Her own density decreases all over and she feels lighter, insubstantial, like the air around them. She moves so close to the stallion that she can see the individual lashes curling away from his eyes, can see her own wispy reflection in his gaze. Then she steps forward through him and out the other side. There is no chill, however, when she passes harmlessly through his body. She is no ghost, only a woman that does not know her own limits. A woman that sees the lines she shouldn’t walk across and bounds over them anyway. Titanya curls back around, comes to full density again, wonders if the champagne-haired man will still be there when she makes the turn. To her surprise, he is. She wonders what he has seen to be so unmoved by her stunts. She relents, at least long enough to answer him. “Hunting is power and the exchange of it,” she says, as her eyes soften from their predatory glare. “Hunting is being stronger, faster, and smarter than your target.” An elk in the woods, a rabbit in the brush, a stranger in the meadow. “Hunting is a pleasure, but killing is a necessary side-effect.” Some like to draw it out, she wagers. Some revel in the slow anguish of life-force bleeding out instead of ending the suffering. She may be a thing borne for the rough and ragged places of the world, but she follows the rules of the wild. “Don’t worry though, I make it quick.” She smiles again. "When I'm hunting, that is." @[rapt] RE: give my all just to watch you fall; any - rapt - 01-05-2021 rapt rapt. there is a dream in the space between the hammer and the nail
but the nail will take the hit if it gets to sleep inside the wood forever @[Titanya] RE: give my all just to watch you fall; any - Titanya - 01-23-2021 give my all to watch you fall There is a lot she has yet to experience in this new, second lifetime still. She has died, but she hasn’t lived – not fully, anyway. Before, she’d been the master and keeper of her every move, had existed only for herself and the next step into the unknown ahead. She had kept her brother and his family after that, had circled their edges like a predator looking for any weaklings in the herd lest one of them try to break away. Eventually she failed at that endeavor, too, and their little clan splintered and fractured into individual parts that once made a whole. Had once made her whole, even. She carried on but it was never the same. All the wild places that were the most unforgiving became her spaces of repentance for all she hadn’t done, all those she had failed to protect. And then the flames licked at her old feet and consumed all of her first sins. Titanya relishes her rebirth because she will not let herself become a cesspool of stagnation again. She has already done more than she could have ever imagined the first time around, but it is not enough. There is an urgency that brings her back to the common lands day in and day out, always searching for what comes next, always craving something she cannot find. Taunting even-keeled men who hardly react brings her no closer to satiating her hunger, she finds. And talking of hunting instead of actually hunting only leaves her frustrated. Too soft, he muses, and she barely hides a contemptuous snort. It does present an opportunity though, something to do. “That can be fixed, you know.” Her amber eyes narrow on the champagne’s face, sizing him up and not giving any indication either way on what she decides. Titanya sends a few tendrils of her own power out to him. It is his for the taking, this increased density, if he chooses to use it. “Have you ever wanted to destroy something? I do, all the time.” She says it plainly and without remorse. Her gaze shifts to a crooked young tree with a missing crown, perhaps one that had been sheared off by wind or lightning, she thinks – the perfect target. “You should easily be able to kick it over, or kick through it, even. If you want to that is. It’s what I do besides hunting: creative rearrangements.” She laughs a little, caught up in her own bravado. Adrenaline surges through her veins at the thought of what he can do, of what she has done many times herself. She wonders if he’ll feel the rush too, if he’ll decide today that he is made of iron and not wool. @[rapt]: she is lending him some increased density if he wants it, if not, feel free to ignore it RE: give my all just to watch you fall; any - rapt - 01-30-2021 rapt rapt. there is a dream in the space between the hammer and the nail
but the nail will take the hit if it gets to sleep inside the wood forever @[Titanya] RE: give my all just to watch you fall; any - Titanya - 02-07-2021 give my all to watch you fall “Of course,” she says, when he wonders if his gentility can be reversed. At the least, she thinks she can sharpen his edges, whittle them until they can cut if the need arises. “Anything can be improved on.” Anything can be built up when there is nothing at the start, she adds, silently, but doesn’t want to offend him enough that he walks away. This game is just beginning. It is shameful that he has been brought so low, shameful that he perhaps started life this way to begin with. If she knew his thoughts though, it might be her that walked away in disgust. Instead, Titanya loans a part of herself to him. She thinks if he can only taste what power and strength are that he will find a seed of it inside himself. She believes he will nurture it, allow it to grow, and wield it like a newfound muscle, this strength. All she can do is give him the tools to get there, the desire to be more than he was before. Now that she knows he exists like this, she can’t let him languish in his weakness any longer. “Once is more than enough. It’s not your fault you couldn’t act on it before.” The fact that she has wanted to destroy since the day she was born does not diminish his own declaration of a few violent cravings. All it takes is a spark, a tendril of shared magic between strangers in the meadow. He takes it, reaches out for help, and she grins back at him. Titanya is silent as she watches him go to the tree and kick out a few times in vain. That’s no matter; a mighty oak tree does not rise in a day. When the resounding crack finally rings out across the meadow, startling both beast and bird, she lets out a holler of joy at his success. “Isn’t it wonderful?” She asks in a rush as if she were the one to wield the increased density and topple the tree. Her smile is now a wide thing that breaks easily across her face. It isn’t long lived though. He confesses that he is normally the one destroyed and her smile drops down into a deep, scathing frown. “And why would you allow that? Why haven’t you done anything about it?” She becomes almost angry, even, her amber eyes burning into his. She can’t fathom why anyone would sit idly by. @[rapt] |