Open give me hope in the darkness; any

SO GIVE ME HOPE IN THE DARKNESS THAT I WILL SEE THE LIGHT
'CAUSE OH THAT GAVE ME SUCH A FRIGHT

He is always vaguely aware of his lover. Nihlus is a brilliant spot in his magic net, a constant pulse of life in the back of his mind. He is aware of all the net catches, of each of his descendants and descendant’s descendants, but the ones with whom he shares an emotional connection are brighter and stronger. The magician knows when Nihlus stirs awake, when he leaves home, and when he approaches the shores of Nerine. But of course their young daughter has no idea that her papa approaches, so Brennen says nothing.

Even on this dreary day, water droplets do not normally go up and around and sideways, and the bay lifts his gaze to smile at the first sign of impending chaos, and then shifts almost imperceptibly to brace Lhoire as she shrieks, startled and then delighted, and nearly topples over as the bunny passes quickly beneath their feet and then shifts again to horse form. The filly pushes off of Brennen and pretty much bashes into her other parent in her enthusiasm. “Papa, papa, how did you get here? Did you fly? Did you swim? Are we really fine company?” The bay magician is impressed at the deft way his lover manages to press a kiss to their daughter’s head without getting accidentally headbutted in the process, and he murmurs that admiration in Nihlus’ ear as his husband turns his physical affection Brennen’s direction.

With anyone else, Brennen would have hesitated before engaging in such a blatant physical display of affection, engaging in only a brief touch or embrace before pulling away in public. For Nihlus, though, he has made changes. Perhaps with time he has mellowed, decided to care less about what others think. Perhaps his boy’s utter disregard for anything even approaching the faintest whiff of propriety has worn him down. Perhaps his relationship with Nihlus is different – stronger? – than he relationships of before. Most likely, it is some combination of the three. Instead of pulling away, the magician leans into Nihlus’ touch, returns the sweet touch for a moment but following it with a playful nip as his lover pulls away slightly, surveying the landscape of Nerine out of bright blue eyes. Their son had inherited those eyes, even though both of their daughters had Brennen’s amber gaze. He has a hard time looking out over Nerine when he can stare at Nihlus and Lhoire instead.

He also doesn’t disabuse their youngest of the idea that possibly her Papa can fly – she still has all the wonder of the very young and he won’t take that from her early. “Is this one of your feathers?” She’s surfaced from the rocks with a feather clutched in her teeth, white in contrast to Brennen’s inky black, at the same time as Nihlus stiffens beside him, and her shamelessly takes advantage of an opportunity to be child-free for a few moments. “If it is Papa’s, he’ll need quite a few more than that. See if you can find them?” It sends her scampering off across the rocks, and he turns to the man at his side, eyes searching as he surge of feelings towards Nih - concern affection reassurance love question. He won’t pry into what worries his lover might be choosing to keep from him, but he will make certain always that he is available to listen if that changes.

But the boy seems determined to think of something else, if the memory he pushes back at Brennen is any indication. Brennen recalls the trip as well as Nihlus does – though his feelings about the whole matter are quite different with time, distance, and affection for the cause of his massive headache at the time. In the memory, it’s quite clear that Brennen had been at the end of his tether, annoyed and exasperated at being saddled with a young wanna-be diplomat who seemed determined to make the situation worse; now it just brings a huge surge of affection for his younger husband as he nips lightly at the side of Nih’s neck and teases drily, “Lucky for you, I’ve suddenly developed infinitely more patience and skill for sheparding bratty apprentice diplomats.” He follows the playful pinch of teeth with a caress and a kiss, laying his head along Nih’s warm back and glancing briefly to make sure their daughter’s attention is still safely occupied by searching for feathers before he nips and then caresses a few places infinitely more personal.

When he finally does draw back, laughter in his bright eyes, not even the worries about Nerine can dampen the joy Nihlus’ mere presence brings him. He is pleased to play with Nih, to tease, but he also knows that whatever his lover pretends, time had matured him, too, since that mission to the Falls for the Tundra. “I am still their Champion,” he saids, referring to Nerine, “And nothing feels quite settled. I am worried that the skirmishes with Loess will turn out to be something more dangerous. I don’t really know their current Queen, either, not enough to predict what she will do. And I need to make sure that Loess did not harm Jesper – I was too pregnant to risk facing off against Castile when he was taken, and I feel terrible for leaving him there.” His grandson had been captured and tortured once before– if Loess had not treated him kindly, now that Lhoire is safely outside of his body, there will be hell for someone to pay. He shares all of these concerns with his partner, appreciating the listening ear even if Nihlus often becomes quite bored of the world outside their trysting.

BUT I WILL HOLD AS LONG AS YOU LIKE
JUST PROMISE ME WE'LL BE ALRIGHT

Brennen