I never could, again; Starsin - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: OOC (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=24) +--- Forum: Archive (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=81) +---- Forum: Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=98) +----- Forum: Loess (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=88) +------ Forum: Sylva (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=90) +------ Thread: I never could, again; Starsin (/showthread.php?tid=25564) |
I never could, again; Starsin - Leilan - 11-15-2019 You’re uncontrollable and we are unlovable Well, isn’t his life fucked up. His meeting with the golden tobiano had probably only made him realize this more; while the younger man had talked about his family with a gleam on his face, Leilan had only regrets when he thought back on his time with them. Sure, when he’d still been with Breckin during her rule, things had finally been what they should at the time - or, almost. Certainly his relationship with Chryseis, Ophie and Thorgal hadn’t been what it should be. Certainly he hadn’t been the best father to them, and then he lost them to their mothers, and that was about it. Ophanim’s question about having a pretty sister came to mind, the silver bay roan colt with his bi-coloured mane clear in his past-vision as the memory passes into Chryseis’ shocked and angered yearling-face. Leilan always felt bad for not seeing him again after that, and for not being able to introduce him to his siblings by Breckin. All of it was a big mess, and he’d only run away from it all. He travels from his Loessian escapade to the direct north, passing through the nearly empty woods in deep thought. He remembers Modicum Mortem’s reign and Jesper being stolen, and his own careful inquiries with Arthas if he could visit Loess’ great big ally at the time. Of course he’d only wanted to visit to support his friend if he could, but Arthas certainly would not need to know. It’s funny how Leilan’s loyalty for rulers had declined so rapidly, even if Brennen had deserved it - only to come back to his family once more. Starsin, my very beautiful wife, was asked to be advisor here. She’s very clever so it’s the perfect job for her. Just the tone and happiness made him feel bad about his own wife. She was very beautiful and very clever, too. Too bad he hadn’t been the only one to see it. Too bad she had decided to willingly go with that kelpie instead. Too bad she hadn’t hesitated a moment, and too bad he’d seen it. It was all too bad. He wonders what their children would think. and I don’t want you to think that I care I never would, I never could again Leilan no. 7 | ice forged in fire @[Starsin] here is a crap starter but I put family thoughts in it for her to feast on RE: I never could, again; Starsin - Starsin - 11-16-2019 and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain. starsin it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted. @[Leilan] RE: I never could, again; Starsin - Leilan - 11-19-2019 You’re uncontrollable and we are unlovable There are a number of things that would make Leilan pause - a lot of things do, these days. He’s an odd sort of horse - one who doesn’t exactly refer to himself as a horse, yet neither does he dare call himself a dragon. He’s an in-between something, as he’d told a certain fairy, and he would rather move forward than backward. Yet he can’t help dwelling in the past, musing over what he could have done better in his life, and what he could possibly fix, still. Obviously as long as he couldn actually find any of his children, he couldn’t fix anything at all - often enough he decided to stop looking, telling himself that they were probably very capable of handling themselves, and finding a better life than what he ever could have offered them. Briseis, Roseen and Jenova had seemed to be good mothers, anyway. Funny how much that sounded like Roseen’s refusal to let him be a dad to their child. And how much it looked to him that Thalassa must have decided the same thing. But that past is long since gone, and there is no going back. Heck, would he even want to go back to the idiot he was back then? He thinks he prefers the idiot he is right now, though he can’t be certain of course. The mare who calls him out, probably for trespassing again - he can’t keep still, and like he’d told the young man in Loess, when he’s preoccupied and brooding, he doesn’t really care which way he’s going - and he blinks at her as he focuses his ice-coloured eyes on the dotted mare. She almost purrs; reminds him of large cats as she approaches, a predator in one so many ways. Starsin - her name does ring a bell, for he heard it not long ago. Funny how it is true then, what her husband said, about her being pretty and pretty clever. Though Leilan also recognizes the predatory look in her eyes that he doubts the tobiano ever sees, he can’t help noticing that her dots look pretty cute. They remind him of his ex-wife’s dots, a thought he pushes back hard and fast as he smiles back at the mare. No room for her right now. Looking for someone? He huffs, wondering if he looked that way, but he doesn’t think so. She’s probably just being polite. ”No, no-one in particular.” Of course, he tries to keep an eye out for his family, but he hasn’t seen them in so long that he starts to doubt if he will ever find them - perhaps they moved out of Beqanna. ”I’m just on my way north. But if you’re desperate for a friendly chat, I suppose I could hang around a little longer.” He grins a little. Not too long, though - Beryl will need to have him back home before the evening darkness turns the Isle too cold, though with a quick glance to the sky he estimates he still has a couple hours. Spring is easier in that regard, he thinks. and I don’t want you to think that I care I never would, I never could again Leilan no. 7 | ice forged in fire @[Starsin] RE: I never could, again; Starsin - Starsin - 12-12-2019 and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain. starsin it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted. @[Leilan] RE: I never could, again; Starsin - Leilan - 12-13-2019 You’re uncontrollable and we are unlovable There is little in the world that would shock him, could shock him; not anymore at least. But the world always has little surprises waiting for everyone. Nasty little things hiding behind the corner, booing at him. Usually he doesn’t bother. Starsin narrows her eyes at him and he subconsciously places her in the box of many horses that will never trust him - the usual box. That’s what, combined with what she says, makes him stare at her hard, suspicious of her in his disbelief - and then shakes his head. His demeanour flips as easily as a leaf in an autumn storm. ”Ophanim,” he tells her, slowly and with venom the dripping from a suddenly ice-clad voice, ”is silver bay roan with gold and blue mane.” Ophie had practically been the cuter version of himself; well, with his mother’s wings. As with all his foals, he’d thought he’d be a better version than his sire. The boy had of course been a wanderer like both his parents, yet Leilan alway wondered what in their two meetings had him stay away forever. Did she pick the name from his mind, had she that ability, was she a magician? Maybe she met someone from his past who held a grudge, who’d told her? What’s next, telling him she’d spoken to Thal or Rose? Had she looked further though, she would have known he wouldn’t take kindly to such jokes. It doesn’t add up for her to play with him like this since they don’t know one another, but then again, it doesn’t matter how she came by the information or why she does it - she changes from hot to cold easily enough within sentences of their conversation. Leilan’s not into it. She’s on very slippery ice, and it will take just one slip for him to snap. The joking trickster quickly replaced with the ice dragon he was already becoming, he’s only barely standing still when she nears, muscles tensed, teeth bared in a threat - he will fight her if she keeps this up. ”Don’t you dare use his name against me. Save your games for someone else.” It was bad enough that he lost sight of his children without some manipulative stranger putting it against him when he only passed through. and I don’t want you to think that I care I never would, I never could again Leilan no. 7 | ice forged in fire @[Starsin] the bot rolled you first and also his niceness got lost somewhere on the way? idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ |