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+---- Thread: anywhere i go there you are; brennen (/showthread.php?tid=25495)
anywhere i go there you are; brennen - Hestoni - 11-08-2019
@[Brennen]
RE: anywhere i go there you are; brennen - Brennen - 01-06-2020
so give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
'cause oh that gave me such a fright
'cause oh that gave me such a fright
He, too, had loved her. It hadn’t been romantic, not for most of their lives, but when it had it been a sudden change. And whose fault was it? Even now, he’s not sure. For so long he had tread carefully on his side of the line: friends, and nothing more. Had it been Scorch who changed that? Had it been Brennen, remembering that he had lost Neraza before he could admit to himself they were more than friends? Maybe he’ll never be able to sort out that time – those moments that had changed everything they were to one another. In the end, Brennen had loved her too, in a way that was all-consuming.
It had destroyed both of them, at least for a time. Despite how much she’d hurt him, the time he’d spend in being angry, he has no illusions that she had not been hurt as well. It had cost her something, to give herself to him for a time. Perhaps their pain was the strongest sign that it had not been meant to be – but that is distance speaking, not the acute pain he had experienced at the time.
But there is one thing which made it different for him, and he has always known it. Though he has been monogamous for brief periods of time when engaged with a woman he loved, it was nothing like having only one lover…ever. Still, Brennen had believed that Scorch’s mate was gone. Perhaps dead, perhaps not, but certainly he had not believed that he was ruining that for her, by giving in to what they both wanted. That, he would never have done.
Intentions or not, it had been done. And now, lifting his head from the grass of home, he is momentarily baffled to find himself instead on the riverbank, well away from all of his homes; and also blinking into an unfamiliar face. But – no – unfamiliar yes, but he knows who this is. Blinking, for once Brennen is quiet because he is honestly at a loss for words, not because he is intransigently refusing to speak full sentences. In this moment, he thinks that if Hestoni were to attack him, he might allow him it without twitching a feather in his own defense.
Slowly, he straightens, but carefully does not even attempt to smile. That would be hiding, and at this point that would be ridiculous between the two of them. “Hello,” he offers quietly, because it would be ridiculous to truly say nothing. He supposes that the other stallion must have been…dwelling…thinking about it. About him, and in his own floaty headspace he had then come here. Perhaps he, too, would like to put some sort of closure on their shared experience. Perhaps he doesn’t want it intruding now on his new happy, his quiet life with Nihlus (quiet being relative, of course – his boy is anything but quiet); perhaps he simply is curious about Scorch’s lifemate. He doesn’t care to look too closely at his own motivations.
It had destroyed both of them, at least for a time. Despite how much she’d hurt him, the time he’d spend in being angry, he has no illusions that she had not been hurt as well. It had cost her something, to give herself to him for a time. Perhaps their pain was the strongest sign that it had not been meant to be – but that is distance speaking, not the acute pain he had experienced at the time.
But there is one thing which made it different for him, and he has always known it. Though he has been monogamous for brief periods of time when engaged with a woman he loved, it was nothing like having only one lover…ever. Still, Brennen had believed that Scorch’s mate was gone. Perhaps dead, perhaps not, but certainly he had not believed that he was ruining that for her, by giving in to what they both wanted. That, he would never have done.
Intentions or not, it had been done. And now, lifting his head from the grass of home, he is momentarily baffled to find himself instead on the riverbank, well away from all of his homes; and also blinking into an unfamiliar face. But – no – unfamiliar yes, but he knows who this is. Blinking, for once Brennen is quiet because he is honestly at a loss for words, not because he is intransigently refusing to speak full sentences. In this moment, he thinks that if Hestoni were to attack him, he might allow him it without twitching a feather in his own defense.
Slowly, he straightens, but carefully does not even attempt to smile. That would be hiding, and at this point that would be ridiculous between the two of them. “Hello,” he offers quietly, because it would be ridiculous to truly say nothing. He supposes that the other stallion must have been…dwelling…thinking about it. About him, and in his own floaty headspace he had then come here. Perhaps he, too, would like to put some sort of closure on their shared experience. Perhaps he doesn’t want it intruding now on his new happy, his quiet life with Nihlus (quiet being relative, of course – his boy is anything but quiet); perhaps he simply is curious about Scorch’s lifemate. He doesn’t care to look too closely at his own motivations.
but I will hold, as long as you like
just promise me we'll be alright
just promise me we'll be alright
BrenneN
ooc; I'm really the worst of the worst but here *hides*
@[Hestoni]
RE: anywhere i go there you are; brennen - Hestoni - 01-14-2020
@[Brennen]
RE: anywhere i go there you are; brennen - Brennen - 01-20-2020
so give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
'cause oh that gave me such a fright
'cause oh that gave me such a fright
They’re both tense, uncertain, but when Brennen relaxes (willing to let Hestoni attack him, if he really wants to), a moment later the other stallion relaxes as well. Then they’re just two awkward strangers, linked by something neither of them particularly want to talk about, eyeing each other up and down. Brennen knows he has the advantage here in most ways – he’s got the magic, the fighting experience, he knows Hestoni’s children in a way that the chestnut does not know his (as he’s staring at the other man, he’s looking for them – for things about Simeon, and Leilan that he might recognize in their father).
Hestoni has one big advantage – the moral high ground. It’s why Brennen’s standing, not in any way prepared to defend himself, waiting for the other to make the first move.
It’s the smile that truly relaxes him, however fleeting, and he responds to the tone as much as anything else. “No, we haven’t.” Scorch had talked about her mate, of course, but his visits to the Jungle had been business, not personal (or so he’d always told himself). And when that changed – well, Hestoni had been gone. They hadn’t talked about the specifics, but Brennen had always assumed he was dead. Assumed that was why she’d broken the unspoken pact between the two of them, and basically jumped his bones that night they’d grieved together.
He’s compelled to say that – to try to explain himself. “I thought you were dead. When she came to me.” Brennen isn’t sure of the truth, himself; had Scorch known he was not dead? Would they have lasted, if he had been? It’s hard to imagine, now, because he has moved on quite thoroughly. “I don’t regret loving her,” he drawls the words quietly, “But I would not have…accepted if I knew. But we burned each other out, she and I. I’ve moved on to something else and I think it’s better for me.”
Brennen doesn’t use the words ‘I’m sorry’. This is too deep for a casual surface apology, but he reserves the truly deep ones for times when he has done intentional wrong. Though, shifting uncomfortably, he realizes that his current mate is actually Hestoni’s grandson. He’s sure he’s drenched in Nihlus’ scent, given the way his lover had woken him this morning, but perhaps Hestoni doesn’t know his grandson or his scent. Not everyone has a magic net to keep track of their descendants, after all.
Hestoni has one big advantage – the moral high ground. It’s why Brennen’s standing, not in any way prepared to defend himself, waiting for the other to make the first move.
It’s the smile that truly relaxes him, however fleeting, and he responds to the tone as much as anything else. “No, we haven’t.” Scorch had talked about her mate, of course, but his visits to the Jungle had been business, not personal (or so he’d always told himself). And when that changed – well, Hestoni had been gone. They hadn’t talked about the specifics, but Brennen had always assumed he was dead. Assumed that was why she’d broken the unspoken pact between the two of them, and basically jumped his bones that night they’d grieved together.
He’s compelled to say that – to try to explain himself. “I thought you were dead. When she came to me.” Brennen isn’t sure of the truth, himself; had Scorch known he was not dead? Would they have lasted, if he had been? It’s hard to imagine, now, because he has moved on quite thoroughly. “I don’t regret loving her,” he drawls the words quietly, “But I would not have…accepted if I knew. But we burned each other out, she and I. I’ve moved on to something else and I think it’s better for me.”
Brennen doesn’t use the words ‘I’m sorry’. This is too deep for a casual surface apology, but he reserves the truly deep ones for times when he has done intentional wrong. Though, shifting uncomfortably, he realizes that his current mate is actually Hestoni’s grandson. He’s sure he’s drenched in Nihlus’ scent, given the way his lover had woken him this morning, but perhaps Hestoni doesn’t know his grandson or his scent. Not everyone has a magic net to keep track of their descendants, after all.
but I will hold, as long as you like
just promise me we'll be alright
just promise me we'll be alright
BrenneN
@[Hestoni]