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+---- Thread: she's a little explosion of hope [kensa] (/showthread.php?tid=24225)
she's a little explosion of hope [kensa] - Elaina - 07-06-2019
I can remember a time when I was so afraid when even my shadow wouldn't follow me
Elaina finds comfort in the sunset. She wasn't sure why.
Elaina sometimes feels she claims to be more that what she really is, like plastic painted to emulate metal, a cheap imitation. For all her bravado, she is nothing more than a mare. She can embellish upon her accomplishments all she wants, exaggerate her pride and downplay her mistakes, but she is ultimately just as flawed as the next horse. She doesn’t know why she thinks that she is qualified to be the one out here looking for the chestnut girl with eyes as blue as ice, when she has her own demons to contend with, and she can’t even follow her own advice correctly. She’s forever telling herself, be strong, you are better than this, when she wants nothing more than to give up her composure and allow herself to erupt, or fall apart for all the world to see.
But Elaina is so cautious of exposing her emotions, even when she had been in the company of either Aerwir or Lilli, the two she was supposed to trust most. Elaina always had trouble expressing what was bothering her, what emotions were plaguing her. So hard she tried to uphold this image that she could be there for those who needed her. She would be the rock, the solid ground, when they felt themselves slipping. She always told Lilli she would be there for her, even when Elaina felt as though she could not even hold herself up. The golden girl feels she had broken that promise. Elaina left, she went to Windskeep, to her own birth land, leaving Lilli behind in Beyond. So she couldn't be mad when she returned to Beyond and Lilli was no longer there. She had gone off on her own, to find herself, just as Elaina had done.
For most of her trip from Beyond Elaina had been telling herself she was leaving to bring Lilli home, that was the only reason she left, and that she was going to come back, but even Elaina knew this was a lie. When she stepped over those boundary lines of Beyond, she knew she would never take a step back into those lands. It was why she had given her goodbyes to Aerwir, why she had gone to Malachi and Kalina and Aletta and wished them well. And it was why she had turned around one final time, to catch one final glimpse.
She had moved away from the meadow and into a field and up ahead she hears the sound of water cascading off a cliff edge and recognition of such a sound pounds against her heart. Now, the falls here is not like the one in Paraiso and certainly not like the one in Windskeep, but there is a sense of familiarity to it that calms the girl. She watches with amber eyes as it falls into the lake below.
Elaina isn't sure how long she stands there, peering out at the expanse of water strung out before her, she just simply watches, entranced by the display nature gave. But she knows that standing here will not bring her any closer to Lilli. Lilli who probably had no idea Elaina was even here. Slowly she lowers her head down to the water, letting her lips break against the surface of it, but even as the water laps against her she doesn't drink, instead pulling her head up once more. A question thrums in her head and in her heart: what was she doing here? And if she couldn't figure it out, what was she supposed to do next? She needed a sign, any sign, from any where, and from anyone. Just one sign.
elaina*
benjamin and beylani's sunflower-girl
RE: she's a little explosion of hope [kensa] - Kensa - 07-06-2019
for every tyrant, a tear for the vulnerable in every lost soul, the bones of a miracle
Sometimes she walks down to the field, still enjoying the trip over the well work paths from Hyaline to the common lands. Winter is of course her least favorite time of the year to visit but it is also an anniversary of sorts. One ugly winter she herself had arrived in the field, having wished to come to such a place she arrived when a girl of barely three. Now she is not quite sure how old she is, but there have been more than a few years between that day and this one.
Travel by magical means has become easier now that she has better learned how to separate herself from the water, she can rematerialize almost complete dry if she is mindful to reassemble her molecules swiftly enough to keep the water from sticking. That’s what she does today. She isn’t about to freeze to death in the field during the middle of winter.
Kensa is nearly dry when she appears in the shallows of the pool surrounding the falls. She is only fetlock deep in the icy water and a little drips from the ends of her mane. Finding that she has made her sudden arrival very near a stranger she snorts in surprise and smiles openly. “I’m sorry if I startled you, I honestly didn’t think I’d meet anyone so close to all this freezing water.” Carefully, the chestnut primarch steps ashore and shakes her dripping forelock off her otherwise dry face. “Kensa, from Hyaline.” Introducing herself succinctly before the blond locks have even settled away from her gold freckled face. “I don’t think we have met? Have you just arrived?”
Likely, being that the field is just the sort of place that draws the newly minted citizens of Beqanna. There must be some magic in it, though she has never thought to ask anyone about it. The setting sun sets Kensa’s markings on fire, turning the white to pink, the gold rosy, and the liver chestnut an inky dark chocolate.
kensa
for every dreamer, a dream. we're unstoppable with something to believe in.
@[Elaina]
RE: she's a little explosion of hope [kensa] - Elaina - 07-11-2019
I can remember a time when I was so afraid when even my shadow wouldn't follow me
Love, friendship, they were so fragile, so easily broken. Snapping and cracking under the smallest placement of weight, weight that Elaina had loaded onto Aerwir without even thinking. She couldn't do it, be here, live here, and be happy. But she didn't think she could be without him.
Aerwir loved Woodlands.
(Elaina loved Woodlands.)
Aerwir loved it because it was home.
(Woodlands was not home for Elaina.)
Aerwir, Lilli, Marcelo, Val, Ori they were home.
It only takes one look at his dark eyes to melt her, the brave, fiery girl falling under his sorrowful gaze. She needed very little pleading, no begging, not verbally anyway. She didn't want him to be sad, to be upset. Aerwir loved Beyond and she loved Aerwir.
(she loved him)
She would not stay here, she would neither be near here, near him, with him. “Aerwir, don't be silly, you need to stay,” Elaina does not hesitate with her admission. “Seeing you happy would be enough for me. I can‘t stay in Beyond. I have to leave.” She paused, gazing up at his face. “Please, I want to see you smile before I leave.”
Just. One. Smile.
In the beginning, life was simple - she with her youth and the world with its endless possibilities. Elaina had been bright-eyed and happy as a child, and those memories of her time as a filly were held close to her heart. Her parents had filled her life with happiness and never ending love. A simple, if not overly large family, and loving. The memories of her parents, cousins, and many aunts and uncles were fond.
It had been simple.
Painfully, simple.
And now the golden girl cannot help but wonder when everything had gotten so complicated in her life. How she ended up in this strange land where she thinks her crimson cousin may be. Elaina plungers into this thought head first, not entirely aware of her surroundings, and she can almost hear Alvaro’s voice, scolding her in background to be more vigilant. But Alvaro is so far away, just like all the rest of them. She jumps slightly in surprise to the sudden appearance at her side and amber yes slip to the one who carries the voice. But a laugh finds her quickly as she shakes off her own embarrassment when she could see this stranger meant her no danger. “I suppose I am not as smart as anyone then,” she jokes, teasing herself. She sounds like her mother then, she has that sam lilting laughter as Beylani did, but it has been so long since Elaina has heard it that she will never know.
The mares comes ashore and Elaina moves slightly to the side to allow her room to join her, Elaina finding herself in desperate need of company. So when the stranger offers her name and home, the sunflower child finds herself breathing easier in that perhaps this will be more than a brief hello and goodbye. Just another face to add to the long list that Elaina has seen pass before those firestorm eyes. “Kensa, it is a pleasure,” she says. “No, I cant say that we have met, I have only seen a few faces since I have arrived in this strange, new land,” she admits. A few faces indeed, but none of them the one she was so desperately searching for. “I’m Elaina,” she offers, she didn't have anything else to give, but her name, now that she could do. “I’m from a place far from these lands, a whole other story,” she adds. Windskeep. Paraiso. Woodlands. Culloden. The Falls. Where does she even say she comes from anymore. Elaina has sunk her roots into so many places she doesn't think she will ever find a place to grow.
And then she lights up and Elaina can hardly tear herself away from the beauty that is Kensa. Elaina looks to her silence for a moment, in awe. “You’re beautiful,” she says then in admiration. “Kensa, I must confess, I don't know anything about Hyaline, I barely know where I am now,” she says, shaking her head with her confession. “I came here to find my cousin, but it would seem she is alluding me and I have suddenly gone from being surrounded by family to having no one,” she says, pulling her gaze away from the beauty that was Kensa. “Tell me of your home, Kensa.”
elaina* benjamin and beylani's sunflower-girl
RE: she's a little explosion of hope [kensa] - Kensa - 07-22-2019
for every tyrant, a tear for the vulnerable in every lost soul, the bones of a miracle
Hyaline’s Primarch has always been bold and sweet, kinder and more curious than most, patient with others but always impatient to be on to the next bit of excitement. She too had been a girl once in another place, with mothers and fathers in a greater quantity than most could claim. That upbringing shaped her into the reckless, indulgent, passionate creature that stands in the field before the palomino. She is confident but not overly proud, and her head tilts, gemstone eyes searching the other mare’s features a moment as she laughs at her own self-deprecating joke. Her look is warm and gently curious, and while she does not challenge the woman’s light assertion that she is stupid she also does not believe it at all. Were they better known to one another she might say so outright, but Kensa knows that sometimes her boldness is overwhelming to new acquaintances and hence remains silent on this count.
“Elaina. I am also from somewhere else, but Hyaline is more home to me than the land to which I was born.” The girl’s name is repeated to better commit it to memory before happily relaying that she too is not native to this strange and beautiful continent. “I hope you can make another story here, this is certainly the place to do it.” Kensa’s people are varied but she always like the meet another with a friendly and eager disposition. Elaina might not want to stir up a land she barely knows but she would be a bright and welcome companion in Hyaline and so Kensa resolves to offer her an invitation in addition to her own friendship.
Of course she is accustomed to having her company stricken with awe, and she does not demure when the other mare tells her she is beautiful. The clouds have pulled away from the tangerine and crimson sunset and favored the sabino all the more. Kensa cannot help but make a brief perusal of the other woman’s pretty baroque curves, she is pleased by her own loveliness to be sure but appreciates others without restraint. .“Thank you. You too are lovely.” A sincere compliment she moves on from before the other flaxen haired girl can try to dispute it (as Kensa suspects she will), instead allowing the conversation to turn towards her home. “Yes, Hyaline. It is the whole of those mountains there, save for the western most faces which belong to my neighbors in Loess.” Kensa tips her chin up neatly to indicate the snowy peaks of Hyaline in the distance rising above most of Beqanna (except of course for the Mountain but no one lives there but Fairies) “It is a breathtaking place with a vast lake. We are a small group but very welcoming should you like to visit.”
kensa
for every dreamer, a dream. we're unstoppable with something to believe in.
@[Elaina]
RE: she's a little explosion of hope [kensa] - Elaina - 08-02-2019
I can remember a time when I was so afraid when even my shadow wouldn't follow me
The blonde girl had been thinking of her parents more and more as her time in Beqanna seemed to keep stretching forward. She wonders if they sit there together, side by side for eternity, surprised at what has happened to their little girl. How she grew, found her way to Murmuring Rivers, became a healer, wallowed in her grief, and found love, lost love, ran away again. What would they think? Would they be surprised, shocked, disappointed. They aren't here to tell her.
When she looks at Kensa, she thinks, she looks like someone who would be a ruler, a leader, even a queen. Elaina remembers the first time she meet the ruler of Woodlands. She can remember thinking: He is a king. Her brow had furrowed because Caunion had not looked like a king. There had been nothing about him as impressive as Valerio had been, nor had he been graceful and as sharp as Aletta. He had not been hard and there had been a softness to him that Elaina did not fully trust in a leader. He would probably be weak, and had it not been for Aerwir, Elaina would have left the moment they met. Perhaps, it had been cruel of Elaina to make this impression right away, but the world had hardened Elaina to an extent, you cant be an orphan and live soft. She had left it to Caunion to prove his worth to her and build her respect as a leader.
But she had been right all along.
Broch came in the night and stole her away and Caunion never even gained the courage to right the wrong.
Caunion had been a charmer, and Elaina had to wonder how many mares had fallen for his act. He played the part of knight very well. Elaina was sure, if she had been a damsel in distress she would have loved for him to rescue her. But she was not a damsel, and in times of distress she dressed herself up in an iron armor and charged her enemies head on. What she lacked in femininity and attraction she made up for in strength.
“I have a lot of chapters already, and I am barely considered an adult,” she says with a huff of a laugh. “What is one more chapter?” She says with something of the equivalent of a shrug. “This place is far different than anywhere I have ever been,” she admits. The magic here, it was deeper than her home, as ancient as Windskeep, something that felt surprisingly comforting. “I thought I would just come to find Lilli, my cousin, but I cant shake this—feeling,” she says and she cannot elaborate because she isn't sure what that feeling is.
She is…stunning is the only word that comes to Elaina’s mind. Perhaps it is cliche, and Kensa has probably heard it a thousand times, but Elaina cannot deny the awe struck look that ghosts her features like a cloud passing over the sun. “Thanks,” Elaina offers in response with a smile that softens the edges of her sharp, Spanish face. “I grew up being told I look like my mother, but I never quite minded being told that,” she says, but she doesn't add how there were times, when her death was fresh, each time she was told that, her heart would sink a little deeper, until she wasn't sure how she was going to pull it back up.
Mountains. A lake. It all sounds too familiar and Elaina’s heart breaks because she knows what happens now. “I think…I would like that,” she says. “I was born in an ancient land with a waterfall so large that if you stood to close you could not hear your own thoughts,” she says, eyes glassy for a moment. “It was comforting, in a way.” She then turns to the field’s own falls before looking back at Kensa, each time taken back by the sheer beauty of the leader. “I’ve never been one to shy away from a new adventure, and Hyaline sounds like just the place.”