Home.

Every time I walk into this kingdom, every time I go back to the Cove, I cannot help but have this feeling that Hyaline is still more my home than the Cove will ever be. It is a temporary move, we told ourselves, but I cannot take root there so well. That is why I’ve been to Tephra, the Field, to Loess, to the Forest (my new child’s father doesn’t know yet that our meeting had been so fruitful), the Meadow… everywhere but the Cove. Not because I did not like the place, it’s just not the same.

I’m pretty sure my queens feel somewhat similar, but reason says the Cove is safer. Safe from a sickness that I should have caught by now, but do not have symptoms of. At night I worry about my baby girl, wonder if she’ll be born sick like little Miela, but I cannot give in now. It will not matter; I’ll find a healer if it’s too bad, I’ll raise her in the Cove for the weaning period, where she will have a chance to grow stronger.

But it’s a sense of hope, of gold beneath the wisteria tree, that made me pick today to walk back into the lake-centered kingdom. I know not to expect my old friend, my would-be, should-be lover, but Amet - the other gold beneath the tree. The kind Solace had hoped to see again one day, even if we both also want to see her twin return.

I know of Amet through the visit of a nereid, who had asked for him, for a Jah-Lilah - and I had had the sense back then of history repeating itself. Because Solace continued what he’d started, and had done so well, in a way he would probably have been proud of. Surely he would have told her so when they last spoke again. She had appointed him ruler besides Kensa; a replacement for the lion man that Kag had decided could no longer rule Hyaline when he had attempted a steal and had gotten himself stolen in return. To my knowledge, no effort was to be made to reclaim him, but I know he has had visitors.

But really, with Castile ruling instead of Vulgaris (men I both knew, though I had my doubts about both their tempers sometimes) I did not think Litotes was in such a bad place. I also wonder, should he return here, if he would still fit in with us.

Amet’s a good choice, having ruled here before, having had an excellent eye for who should follow him. And I trust Solace’s decisions about appointing him ruler again.

Left me to say I had been lacking and should have introduced myself months ago.

Now, my pregnant body moves through the winter snows I know so well. No way I’ll lose my footing in this pass, not now and not on my way back.

I know my white, somewhat dreamlike appearance will not help me get attention. Sometimes it does, but in the Cove and in the snow-capped mountains, I simply become a part of the surroundings. That’s not a bad thing, because I don’t crave attention like some others; it gives me space and time to listen in before I move. But now it means I’ll be making the call. I don’t have to call out loud, knowing my warm voice will echo far enough to be heard near the lake, and that’s exactly as far as I want my voice to carry.

It doesn't take long for someone to appear: not Kensa, this time. I didn't really expect her to be the first, having picked up her scent so frequently in the Field. I know she works hard to make this place a home for everyone - which leaves the other Primarch to be the one greeting visitors, I see.

But that suits me well - it's him I wanted to get to know. As he greets me, I dip my head slightly. "Amet," I acknowledge, "I'm glad to finally meet you in person." I give him a smile, then nod to his question. "The Cove is steady. I've not come for business today - if an ambassador is ever really off duty," I add with a shrug, but then walk with him - slowly, as my body is ever heavier, but steadily as this is not the first time I've set foot here, not even with a pregnant belly.

"I'm Ilma," I tell him on the way, "I've heard others speak of you with high regard, so I couldn't help but be curious if you'd meet up to the expectations." I'm teasing him, I know, and he probably knows too. But nobody ever said one'd have to be all-serious in being a diplomat.

He’s charming, I have to give him that. Perhaps that’s why the Sanctuary, after all this time, became a succes; from what I heard from the nereid mare, it had been too dependent of Nerine in the past. Now look at us; more horses in the Cove and mountains together than perhaps are in the rocky kingdom. Speaking of which, I intended to visit them some time ago, and my pregnancy may be withholding me, but I shouldn’t let it for much longer.

I chuckle lightly at his jest about un-diplomatic words, and find myself at ease around him. At his mentioning of putting a face to the name, I raise my brow slightly. ”I knew I should have visited sooner. What in the world would Kag have told you, I wonder.” I smile though; I know my best friend and my queen (I can’t help but to think of the ruling pair as such, since that’s what they were when I first came here) and they would never speak ill of anyone behind their backs. More likely they mentioned me as a council member; a council that unfortunately doesn’t meet often enough it seems. I’m not too happy about the loss of Litotes to Loess, especially given the past when it was me who nearly got stolen. But Loess is a political subject, and frankly I don’t want to talk about it too much right now.

”I’ve heard you led this place before Solace, and that Brennen had named you it’s leader after being a subkingdom of Nerine? Or am I messing things up? It’s been a while and I never heard it firsthand. But I wonder if we live up to what you envisioned all those years ago. If perhaps our current course is what we were meant to be, of if we’ve strayed.” Politics after all, then - but I just don’t know if ruling over Hyaline and Pangea from the Cove, is really what we should be doing. If we wouldn’t be better off with just one small kingdom in which we can better keep track of our subjects, instead of stretching ourselves thin. Because honestly, I’m not so sure any more by now.