The white and sunlight-covered mare could never hide, but, there is few she would need forgiveness for. Only once did she lash out, but today she is herself again, and simply watchful for recruits or those that simply need some kind of aid, something Hyaline is always willing to give, or, in this case: one who looks like he needs some stranger to talk to.

He is hesitant, stepping out of the shadows and into the light as if he’s here to confess he killed the fairies. Surely he has not, and surely he can be forgiven. It’s only those without remorse who can’t be helped and, he shows a lot of just that.

The woman is everything that he is not; bright and pretty cheerful, although she would not dare to be overly outgoing; she’s not like that. She probably smells of the mountains, but most of all of fresh air and clouds from her flight earlier, not too much of a dead-giveaway of where she lives. Or maybe she’s just used to the smell.

She falls into step next to the large winged male, and addresses him calmly. ”I’d say good day, but it seems your thoughts are ruining it for you.” Concerned, she looks at him. ”Might there be something I could help you with?” she offers, genuinely as she feels his mind weighs more heavily on him than it should. Surely there must be something she can say. To anyone else, or, to himself?

The white winged mare complies - waits for his answer, a flat-toned one, but it is accompanied by a wry look. It’s not about her, she knows. She’s not even sure if it could be about anyone else but himself. She smiles lightly at his almost-a-command, distract me. And she will, at least, she hopes.

”My name’s Ilma.” she tells him - nothing more, for his name rings a bell. He has children in Hyaline; and yes, he might have gotten that bronze on him in the Games she also partook in, although with her lack of speed she did not win anything to show for it. She knows who he is and, unfortunately, she knows that is not the kind of distraction he could have hoped for. So her homeland, children and love, are all things she can’t start a proper conversation on.

But he finds a question, a general one but not without it’s own heaviness. She can do nothing but answer truthfully. ”Twice over. It’s not something to deal with lightly, I know.” she tells him; it seems he has been carrying his regrets with him and let them grow over time. While usually talking things out and asking forgiveness was easy in itself, they all tend to carry their weights with them - often unnecessarily.

Something occurs to her though.

”Have you tried forgiving yourself first?” she wonders aloud.

The Andalusian mare is not easily fooled; sure, he doesn't show his face for some time after mentioning his name, but she does not need to see his eyes to know that the abrupt way he altered his stance was a way to prevent her from looking directly into is soul.

Because, for over a year, she'd done just the same. Avoidance, that was the thing she recognized. And sure, perhaps in her case it had been something that overcame her, although she understands that she should maybe not have sought the man out that had planted Llowell in her womb, at least not during the season. But then how could she know? Well, for starters - she could have been a little less naive.

He might not be able to imagine her frowning; yet she did. Especially when he answers; he doesn't think he can. She mesmerizes, looking him over. He's handsome enough, and she can understand how he came to be a father. But Solace had already accepted that he was a wanderer; just like she had accepted that Svedka would sometimes be around, and sometimes would not be. "Try anyway. You'll not feel forgiven by anyone else, as long as you cannot accept who you are."

He might need an example. She smiles wryly. "I've made a wrong choice; several in one actually. I was naive, and way too trusting of a man who'd shown feigned interest but nothing more, until breeding season came around. Should've been a warning, right?" She shakes her head. "But the point is that I learned. And so will you. Our past shapes us, and our future depends on our willingness to change and grow from our experiences."

He seems to want to say something, but all he outs in the end is that he fucked up again. Well. She shrugs. "If that means you tried to be better in between, you're a better man than most." she tells him directly.

The stallion before her, bronze-tipped for his earnings but lacking the self-esteem to boast, this man - he laughs. But it's not the good kind; a bitter undertone, and a cynical question. Can anyone forgive a monster?

She stops her walk at the thought, then nods briskly. Yes. "I did, once." she admits, then continues to keep up with him. It was only recently that she had decided to forgive him - not that she will ever like what he did, the fact that he could not contain himself at all; but is she hadn't, it was her who would be walking around forever with the consequences.

But he's not done chastising himself. He asks her if he's seen the scars; that it was only the beginning, he says, he says he hurt -them- and left. Ilma shakes her head. Solace had a few scars, yes but, she never had trouble walking. Never had trouble sleeping with her wife, or caring for her children. There were no other outside scars, though he might mean the ones that were left inside, but - "She's healed." She can't help but spill that, this tiny reassurance. The rest is for Solace to tell, if at all; it's not Ilma they're talking about here. "Did you leave for their protection?" she counters. That's one answer - there's a reason behind everything, and if the reason is good and true, then forgiveness may one day be found.

Her own story is one from the other side, but not wholly. "I did not tell you about the second thing I did wrong. The things I called him, the loss of self-sense, and that in front of a possible new recruit." She shook her head - not something she liked to talk about.

He stares her down, one question still burning.

But she has an answer. "He changes." she offers him, blinking once but keeping his gaze. She's sure they're not talking about her monster now, but about him, but the truth of it is - all this chastising himself, all this lack of forgiveness of himself, it all comes down to the fact that he is not the same person he was when he made those mistakes.

That he's changed.

She gives him ample time to think - it seems that without guidance, he would never have dared to take this train of thoughts, and it is good then that she's here. No longer here as Hyaline's Ambassador (though she still is), she's taken on the role of a teacher, a mother, and it fits her like a glove.

But then again, it always had. So she smiles at his distant answers, knowing it will take some time for him to acknowledge to himself what reasons he had in the past for certain moves, and when he does, maybe when he understands why things happened the way they did, he can also find it in himself to forgive. Because it doesn't take a large heart to do so. Only a strong mind. But it will take some more time for him to see that. It will take time, because to learn this truth, he first needs to experience it himself.

And it is complicated. She smiles a little wryly. "It's life." But he seems to find some ease in her advising answer - to change. He still isn't convinced by the rest of her story though - remembering what she'd said, he calls her a higher person. She shrugs. "Maybe. To be honest with you, I needed to forgive so that I could keep my own sanity. And I was one hair away from physically hurting, too." Heck - had she been given the chance, had she been battle-trained, she might have castrated the man. She shivers at the thought now; silly woman, it would not have changed a thing.

Their shoulders brush, and she can't help but feel a friendship blooming, there is a connection, she's a salve to his open wounds, and if she looks closer, he is the same to her. The mirror - the prospect that a monster has changed, can change, and that he probably isn't the only one who can. Given time. Given forgiveness.

He nuzzles her head and she lets him, kindly reminded that the last time she'd felt such a touch was over a year ago, and making her wonder where the clouded palomino man was now. But it's Castile with his two-toned gaze who talks to her, and settles into a lighter conversation, at least, he hopes it to be.

She complies - nods to his words. "I do. I came to the field maybe... 3,5 years ago. I was immediately approached by Kagerus, then the Advisor to Solace, and offered a home where I felt I would belong. To be frank, I've never fit anywhere better. I'd always cared for my younger siblings..." she trails when her memories remind her of the family she will never see again, but shakes her head to clear it quickly. "Caring for those in need, especially children, seemed the only way to go. And it still is." She tells him. "I've a daughter, and a son now too. Not from a father I'd hoped they would have, but, with a surrogate family that loves them and shapes them into better beings than either me or their fathers." she smiles. That's the point, isn't it? What's best for the children. To make them grow and surpass their parents and teachers.