Oh screw me. Noticing the stranger had startled Nuage – on top of him realising what he had been doing, just what the fuck – but turns out the stranger had actually noticed him too. Even worse, the bay roan had studied Nuage while he had been daydreaming. Daydreaming about fucking Nihlus. That you can take both literal and as Nu cursing Nihlus.

The realisation flusters him even more. His eyes meet the bay’s amused brown ones, but only for a short second. Looks like the predator already found him, though, not the one he had been wanting to be found by. Flustered and shy he glances away, only to meet his own flushed expression. Oh dear lord.. The shame is enough to make Nuage flicker from visible to invisible a couple of times.

It is the start of a vicious circle. His failure at keeping his ability in check makes him more insecure and a hell lot more shy. Which, of course, causes him to lose grip on his invisibility even more.

But then he remembers how Nihlus had liked his little imperfection. It is enough for Nuage to find his footing again. The bay and blue male shudders, and the corners of her lips twitch ever so slightly. Again Nu is lost staring at his own reflection, and again it is a sound coming from the stranger that makes Nu remember he is not alone.

”Ah.. Sorry.. I just was..” what was he? Love-struck? Well yes, and he got it good, but that was not what he could tell the stranger. ”.. lost in thought..” That much was true. He turns a little from his spot on the riverbank, turning to face the stranger. Carefully he looks up again, meeting the male’s eyes through his eyelashes, still obviously shy.

To Nuage it felt like hours had passed since he had noticed the silver bay roan’s approach, but in reality it were only a few seconds. As to put to his words he shakes his head, sky blue locks now covering the glowing star centered on his head. ”What, uh, has brought you to the river.. this night?”

Though only a jest, the words hit as a punch in his face. Nuage is very aware that he does not master his ability to become invisible, or at least, not in certain situations. Like the one in which he finds himself now. The silver bay’s words is nearly enough to start the process all over. Nu, you moron: breathe. Just fucking breathe. Flustered his gaze are on his own reflection again.

With every breath he takes, his presence becomes more solid. Having been busy with steadying himself, he had not noticed the roan coming closer. So when Nuage looks up, he meets the stallion’s wicked grin from a much closer distance than he had anticipated. It sends Nu stumbling a few steps backward. He is not given much time to recover. Not her name, but hís. Nuage cannot help but to smile at the memory though, glancing away. ”Nih..” he offers softly, not having the heart to actually say he’s crushing on a male. Not that he is ashamed, but he does worry about the backslash this stranger might give without Nihlus around to stand up for him.

Because that is what Nuage desperately needs.

The next question is easier to answer. ”Nuage..” he mumbles, looking up to meet the silver bay’s gaze and offer a small smile. ”N-nice to meet you..” he offers, doing his best to sound sturdy, but not yet fully succeeding. Then he lightly shrugs, allowing his gaze to wander across the river in front of hooves as he lightly shakes his sky blue hairdo. ”Ah.. Not lost..” he tells Leilan, a shy, flustered smile tugging on the corners of his equally blue lips.

”I.. I am waiting..” a short pause. ”for Nih.” Without knowing if the dark bay male would actually come back to find him.

Nuage had thought he would be safe by only giving his lover’s nickname. Spoken like that, without knowing the full name, it could pass through as an unisex name, perhaps even female. In his head it had sounded like a perfect plan. But it was the easy way out too, something that stirs something unpleasant in his stomach. His night with Nihlus had been perfect.

Soon his smile turns dreamy. A sad kind of dreamy. Like so often Nuage finds his thoughts straying away. Not only re-living that one wonderful night together, but from there also imagining how good their future could be. That was if Nihlus would come back for him. But he promised, right? And thus Nu would keep waiting for Nih to return.

A fantasy that is soon ruined by the silver bay roan stallion. He starts of nice, pulling Nuage from his dream world like that, then the gentle fall becomes a stumble. Turns out Leilan knows Nihlus – and oops, there he goes again; flickering invisible and visible for a couple of times. Oh shit shit shit, the endless stream of curses in his mind starts off. He pales visibly, staring at Leilan shocked, before tearing his gaze away towards the water. His lithe form starts to tremble ever so slightly, and Nuage does not know where to look.

His lips part, then close, only to part again as his mind races in circles as he tries to come up with something to say. It is then that Leilan’s other words settle in. This time Nuage sharply turns his head, wide eyes that are quick to become teary. Nihlus wouldn’t come back? He wanders? Was that why Nihlus had yet to show himself?

Again his lips part to say something, but before he can get himself to speak, a chocked sound escapes past them and tears threating to slip from his eyes. Only then Nuage tears his gaze away from Leilan, the trembling of his body getting worse  as he stares at his glowing reflection. ”He... I-is he not co-coming back?"

But no. Nihlus promised. Claimed Nuage as his too, though the dark bay male hadn’t answered Nuage’s question if Nihlus would be his too. Maybe that had been answer enough. Maybe Nihlus was indeed not coming back.

If tears hadn’t wet his eyes before, they surely do now. Not only did Leilan make pretty clear that he should not expect Nihlus to return, he also mentions that Nihlus’ parents were wanders just like him. It tells him two things; one) Leilan did truly know Nihlus, and two) his words were most likely to be true because of it.

”No,” he manages to get out curtly, shaking his head as he tries to deny the thoughts in his head. It cannot be true. Nuage refuses. And yet, Leilan has planted the seed in his mind. ”He.. he promised..” Or had he made that promise up in his head, when he had dreamed of their night together. His lower lip is between his teeth, of which he is oblivious, as Nu tries to fight the chaos in his head and the tears wetting his eyes.

He is so lost and busy with his inner tumult, that he does not notice Leilan crossing the distance between them. The gentle touch upon his shoulder is met with a gasp and a violent jerk of his body as lifts his head to look through his eyelashes. Then he shudders, and Nuage glances away, unable to hold Leilan’s gaze.

Leilan’s words contradict the offered comfort. How can he not worry? And shit, it stings even more to learn he wasn’t the only one? Did Leilan know? Did the silver bay male know how many there had been before him? Had he been there to offer support – or humor them – all once it was clear Nihlus wouldn’t come back? A shake breath escapes past his pale blue lips, and his eyes squeeze shut as he tries to fight the tears that now threaten to fall.

”T-there were o..others?” Unconsciously he finds himself leaning into the touch, searching for the comfort that he so desperately needs. Comfort, support and care he had needed, needed from the moment Nihlus had been gone. Before he had been okay on his own, yes a dreamer and high headed, but he had managed. Had been happy too. But Nihlus had turned Nuage’s word upside down, sparked something within him, and opened a whole new world. Then left him.

When Leilan pulls away, Nuage loses his footing. Stumbling after the touch, needing more of it, though it is not Leilan he longs for. Shit, hold yourself together Nu. He was really fucked up. Weak, pathetic, and so, so miserable. This wasn’t him. But fuck, he is a mess.

Slowly he bends his neck, glancing up at Leilan through his lashes. His eyes are still wet, but thankfully he had been able to prevent the tears from falling. How pathetic would that have been? In front of a stranger. A stranger that fucking knew the stallion that had caused his state. And he probably knew damn well what had happened between the two of them. And shit, that was not okay. Was it?

”And you?” his voice is hoarser than he likes it to be, and it cracks to even though he only manages to get two words out. Would Leilan keep wandering and leave too?