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Don't hold a glass over the flame - any - Mauve - 03-17-2017 SO WHEN YOUR HOPE'S ON FIRE
BUT YOU KNOW YOUR DESIRE (‘How did you know your rabbit was ready to come back to you?’ she asks her mother one evening, as they wander the shores of Tephra. ‘I didn’t, she replies, considering her daughter with a soft, sympathetic gaze, ‘I could not take it anymore, so I went to her.’) She leaves endless summer for spring. Across the strait, in the in-betweens, the world changes drastically. Tephra is perpetual—warm and homely, vibrant and rich, but it is constant and reliable. Mauve likes the rambunctious and volatile. Or so she believes. Everyone romanticizes what they do not have and fancies the grass beyond their backyards. The common lands follow laws beholden to rhythms; ebbs and flows that swing violently—cycles, between the harvest and the sow, all those mother’s lectures she spent her girlhood rolling her eyes at. And yet, as she pulls herself from the water, setting her eyes on the different things that grow along these snow-speckled shores, she knows the appreciation is there, in her like a seed planted deep and taken root. The Mother’s work—nature and the nature of things; The Coyote’s work—the mischievous elements of life; Perhaps, the works of other forces beyond their hands and paws. She finds her eyes are ever commanded to that hunched-over titan. She sighs, the morning air still cold enough to precipitate her breath. As a girl, it had felt like a holy war. She had been dogged about reuniting with her canine-self, a body she had and has never captained before. As she grow up, she finds the binds stretched are exhausting and taxing, and she turns her mind to other things—the ways stallions can make her flush without exchanging even a word, the way Tephra works from its insides, the independent spirit that keeps her hunting for things that live beyond her family. Mother had said that she could not take it… and yet it feels much harder than just that, in practice. It feels insurmountable and as the immortal spirit of childhood relinquishes its grasp, she begins to harden in the emptiness, finding less pain in other undertakings. Mauve traces the riverbank, gushing with new life under the thin patches of ice that still remain and with those that have splintered off. Around her, the exposed grass glitters with frost, white snowdrops and yellow cowslip yawn open to the world. (Deep in her chest, a howl quavers urgently; her nose, wet and leathery, tests the air for all the quarry that has awoken.) DON'T HOLD A GLASS OVER THE FLAME DON'T LET YOUR HEART GROW COLD PHOTOGRAPHY © RAY HENNESSY RE: Don't hold a glass over the flame - any - Canaan - 03-17-2017 now and then there's a light in the darkness; Canaan there's a weight in the air but you can't see why RE: Don't hold a glass over the flame - any - Mauve - 03-19-2017 SO WHEN YOUR HOPE'S ON FIRE
BUT YOU KNOW YOUR DESIRE She is prone to falling into fits of gloom nowadays. Maybe it is the growing pangs, the way they twist her rambunctious grin into a somber and womanly pout; the way she has found herself pulling from that messy, carnivorous yip because the dreams seem too distant and childish and she is growing sick of the chase. (The chase! This one has been a protracted affair, dragging onto the heels of exhaustion. But that’s the point. The prey starts to make mistakes...) Mother would be so very disappointed to see her give up on her feral soul this way. Her younger self would be horrified. It seems she is all too enslaved to time. Not just in the marching, unstoppable progression of the seasons—this she admires now, between fleeting and longing glances at the mountain’s broody shape. The vivid colours of tenacious flowers, poking through the glittery snow and dotting the continents of exposed mud and yellow grass. Not just the nature of time, but also the way she begins to see time as a cruel master. The young often do this, in their silly fits of gloom before perspective welcomes itself inward. Needless to say, he comes at a good time. She is partially engrossed in solemn contemplation, partially in a cluster of dog violets, when he plucks gently at her hair, knocking some haze from her mind. She turns her bright, brown eyes in his direction, confusion pleasantly allayed by delight. Her rabbit’s cottontail waggles a bit and she takes a few quick, high steps from the bank. He has grown. So different from the boy she once crisscrossed Tephra with, one among a pack of many girlish hoots. It makes her heartbeat quicken. (Chase might have been a loose pastime to them—to her it was coyote and quarry, though she had decided against telling them that.) She is different, too. She has abandoned the impractical long legs for slightly more practical short ones, having been gifted the diminutive size of her mother (though, proudly, a little bit taller). She is, as mother would describe, like a rock sat fast in a river. Sturdy and earthy; pony-ish, tempered by the wild, mustang heritage of her father. “Canaan,” her voice has always had a slightly wily undertone, as if she looks for mischief in every wind that blows and every star that blinks. “I certainly wouldn’t have recognized you, so unencumbered by a gaggle of girls,” she smiles, moving along beside him, “too long. I have been... good.” The word good contains a sigh and it is not far enough from the truth for her to feel guilty, “if a bit restless on The Island. Where I haven’t seen much of you.” There is no accusation there. She gets it. Sometimes, she tests the merits of the wanderlust herself. It is ingrained in her—a blood-thing, passed down through a couple generation of fickle women. “What have you been up to?” He carries many smells. DON'T HOLD A GLASS OVER THE FLAME DON'T LET YOUR HEART GROW COLD PHOTOGRAPHY © RAY HENNESSY |