drunk and driven by a devil's hunger; any - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: Explore (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: The Common Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=72) +---- Forum: Forest (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=73) +---- Thread: drunk and driven by a devil's hunger; any (/showthread.php?tid=13741) |
drunk and driven by a devil's hunger; any - woolf - 03-04-2017 the wolves will chase you by the pale moonlight RE: drunk and driven by a devil's hunger; any - Nyxia - 03-05-2017 my friend makes rings, she swirls and sings she’s a mystic in the sense that she’s still mystified by things It is scary to her, too, but not in the same way and not for the same reasons. There is nowhere to hide. As a girl, this forest was easy to tuck herself into. She could wriggle behind hawthorns and wild roses and watch the dust motes dance in rays of warm, gold sun as she waited for her friends to seek her out. She could lay flat on her side, suck all the air deep into her lungs to flatten out her belly and bury herself under thick, autumnal detritus—fallen leaves, all orange and yellow, and dropped, half-wilted flowers, leaving her coat thick with grime when finally she reemerged. But she is not a girl anymore. She knows this because every morning she checks the knobs of her knees, the lengths of her legs and her height against all the places she onced played. She is big (as her father had been before her, though while he filled every inch of his body, she seems to sink into hers); she is long-legged, but proportioned. Womanly, now, despite everything. She has grown up, though that process seems to have passed her by. (Time is strange and stranger still. Time is, above all, unstoppable.) Even as a girl, it was hard to hide in winter. Is it bleak, quiet, hollowed-out—bereft of birdsong and leaf-languages; she stands behind the broad, perseverant body of a deep green pine tree, peeking from behind its spiky, unkind fingers. (But if she can smell it, it can smell her.) She blinks, tears slipping down her pale, lavender cheekbones. (If she can see it, it can see her.) She breaths out, dragging raggedly past her quivering lips. But it does not scare her because it could wrap its cruel, toothy jaws around her throat with ease. It does not scare her because it could hunt her down like a dog does a rabbit. It scares her because she does not know from where it came. She does not know if it is real. She does not know if it is escaped. “H-hello?” she calls, still buried in the arms of an evergreen. When the sounds lifts from her mouth, white and vaporous, she cringes back, muscles seizing like pinched up springs. Still and silent, she can only wait. Wait, of course, for it to answer her back in a tongue she does not understand—like one of the many she had heard in mother’s creation, a cacophony of despair as their world was rent apart, or with a voice like a string symphony—so that she can pass it by like that many walking escapees that already crowd her periphery. (Bejeweled tigers, pastel-colored bears; Manticores and shellycoats.) and I pray to blades of grass to find forgiveness in the weeds. RE: drunk and driven by a devil's hunger; any - woolf - 03-10-2017 the wolves will chase you by the pale moonlight RE: drunk and driven by a devil's hunger; any - Nyxia - 03-13-2017 my friend makes rings, she swirls and sings she’s a mystic in the sense that she’s still mystified by things She has met both of these things; she has been intimate with both forces, pressing hard on either side until she is paper-thin and weightless, and fails to exist. She waits, then (for minutes or days), for a wind to come along and push her further on her endless, unstoppable and inescapable search for them— ‘father, sister’ (Anyone?) Her chest clenches as he speaks—her tongue, she understands it instantly. Not in the slow-burning, building way the nature of the manticore’s words had made themselves known through his song, crowding her hearing with meaning. Her ears flick forwards (excitation over the prospect of contact, finally)—but her body reacts instinctively, healing back from him again, her golden eye avoiding his own piecing green and the hulking, strange body he lives within. She keeps him in the periphery, tucked safely away to her right side and good (only) eye. He answers her thoughts—he denies being one of mother’s escapees; he says he is not from those barren, still, timeless universes, but still he rattles the cage of her anemic sanity, slipping in and out with ease. “Y-you must be,” she mutters back, stepping away from the breath that bellows from his toothy maw, “you m-must be. H-ho-w did y-you...” That is safer, she reminds herself. Something she can pass by like an illusion painted vividly. None of them have ever laid a claw, hook, or hand on her—at least, not after resurfacing here. (Here. Here is home. Home is real.) When he shifts forms, however, that golden eye flicks to him, wide and wet with new tears, facing him fully, her jagged, broken and poorly healed left side peeking around dumbly. The colours pull at her throat and guts, she sniffs, searching his soft hair and antlers for the visible signs that he has been severed and rearranged—‘I’m sorry,’ she almost whispers, before he asks her that question. Her brows, one smooth and one crooked, come together, “I-I don’t d-dream,” she lies, her words quavering. She dreams endlessly. She walks in dreams. She wakes and drifts in dreams. She rents dreams in two, devouring whole words like some apocalyptic colossus. “Go back,” she insists softly, turning her eye away again. Back to the Periphery. She deserves his haunting—all of them. and I pray to blades of grass to find forgiveness in the weeds. RE: drunk and driven by a devil's hunger; any - woolf - 03-18-2017 the wolves will chase you by the pale moonlight RE: drunk and driven by a devil's hunger; any - Nyxia - 03-19-2017 my friend makes rings, she swirls and sings she’s a mystic in the sense that she’s still mystified by things She has felt this kind of fast fix before. She has been this helpless before—time and time and time again; infinitely still and beholden—but it does not make it easier to stomach. Each time, it is like a claw reaching all that much deeper, to find more things to feast on—on and on and on—until there is nothing left but a husk of fractured bones and half-lived dreams, half-dreamed realties. Single-minded seeking, a ghost tracking down her last earthly business before she can finally rest. (If he will not go, then, perhaps, that makes him real. As he had said he is. But if he is real, why does he mean to frighten her so?) She knows the escaped things, dreams and walks with them; she does not remember (nor dream of) the native beasts. She represses those—horns curved back, in her sleep they are only symbolic constellations set in a final and forever blackness; the powerful coldness that numbed the left side and pulverized, forever, her ability to leave freely. She has no friends, but the furred and feathered beasts of this very forest, but they are old friends and often the raise their hackles at her; she has no connective tissue to this woken world, but for the two, Irisa and father, and she has not seen either for years. As he shifts to that equine form, she begins to unravel, lulled more and more by the curious bait he sets for her—he is real, and that makes him an unknown, but he continues to show her forms like honey, gentling with each transformation. She begins to accept his flesh and blood as something like hers (probably; much more than she knows), and his sharp, green eyes as kind, though they bore and contain a strangeness she cannot grasp. Nyxia is a cautious creature, so like the deer her father browbeat into nursing her, but she is lonely and soft as a babe, over-willing to visit friendly shores wherever she can find them. “I-I… I dream of dreams. Is that the same t-thing?” her lips quiver as she talks, her golden eye still working slowly on moving to him, “s-sometimes, I-I… I am d-dangerous when I d-dream.” She blinks a tear, dropping her head and shaking it mournfully. “I dream of dreams and d-dreams follow me w-w-when I wake. So… I don’t think I dream. I just f-f-float.” Her vioce is airy and dazed, having never shook the cobwebs of all the in-between she has visited, each one muddling her more than the previous. “I live,” she concludes, “under the waves of my mind, I think. I d-didn’t always.” “I was just a girl once.” She inhales, her bright eye finally resting on his face, and in it she sees something enticing—in the flat spaces under his eyes and the the round places on his chin and nose. She frowns and blinks at him, the realization surfacing in a muddy way, “Woolf.” She’s met wolves before—father kept all things at bay—but never Woolf. “I’m… N-Nyxia.” and I pray to blades of grass to find forgiveness in the weeds. |