please don't rhy [kellyn] - Printable Version

r h y f e l w r

Tossing and turning and twisting in the darkness. Darkness was all that was. It was complete emptiness. I didn't remember a time where I'd felt so completely empty before. I felt nothing, saw nothing, heard nothing, smelled nothing. I was nothing. Four years of my life, don't you think I should've been a bit more optimistic towards life? Honestly, I was prepared for whatever impending doom was waiting me, if this wasn't death. How has I come to feel this way again? Oh yes, my own family, my own kin, my own blood. My father, he did this to me. Of all the moments in my life, I have never felt more alone. My mother died shortly after I was born, my nurse mother wasn't very kind to me either. Between the harsh words behind every ones' backs and the incessant biting or kicking, I couldn't wait to leave them. But alas, that's apparently not how life wanted to deal my cards.

I guess I wasn't exactly being clear as to how this emptiness, this darkness had happened to me. I was dead. I guess. I don't know. I didn't feel like anything. My own father pushed me to the brink, literally, of my own demise. He sweet-talked me into a "special surprise" for me and then shoved me down a canyon. He knew that I would usurp his power, eventually. I was a strong, thickly built little mare. I was witty, quick-thinking. He, on the contrary, was completely the opposite. So he decided to trick me into walking beside a canyon and then he just shoved me down the steep slope. At first, it was pain. Pain, my bones twisting in the air, flailing, screaming. My thick, deep (for a mare) vocals were heard for sure, there was no way he could cover that sound. I hope the herd knew the truth, at least eventually. As for me, there was nothing for me now. Just this empty feeling.

I don't know when it was when I awoke, but I wasn't in a canyon anymore. I wondered if I had dreamt it. I wasn't in my family's herd lands anymore, it was some foreign place. Well, I don't know, it kind of resembled a canyon. Was I in some sort of alternate universe? There was grey everywhere and anywhere I looked. Even the river I stood by had a grey-ish tint. I was laying down, my grullo body blending in with the barren earth. I pulled myself up, carefully, testing my limbs. I wasn't broken... But where was I? I had never seen anything like this place before. It really described how I felt at the current moment. Grey. Empty. Barren. I wasn't sure if these feelings were typical of one so young. Or these thoughts. But they still occurred.

Suddenly, as I began to take long lanky strides towards the tinted grey aqua, I felt this strange feeling come over me. I was stopped in my tracks. I looked around for any other sign of life. Was something else making me do this? What was happening? I stood, rooted to this ashy earth, and felt odd tingles and fires within my body. My bones and limbs began to scream. I let out a long sigh of agony as they started to ache harder and harder. I let out an agonizing moan of pain, as what felt like I become one with the terrain. I became feeling of the nature. Of the fora and fauna, I was one with it. For some brief span of time, of how long I was unsure, I painstakingly felt at peace. Then, like nothing had ever happened, I was fine. I was able to move again, and my limbs felt revived. I felt like a new horse. My cold gaze swept over the landscape, hoping in some part nobody saw me and in another that someone would help me.