jump into the heat; exist - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: Explore (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: The Common Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=72) +---- Forum: Forest (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=73) +---- Thread: jump into the heat; exist (/showthread.php?tid=13108) |
jump into the heat; exist - bruise - 01-13-2017 I call him the devil because he makes me want to sin RE: jump into the heat; exist - exist - 01-20-2017 while collecting the stars, I connected the dots.
I don’t know who I am, but now I know who I’m not. She wanders as she often does, filling her days and nights with the wonders of a world they call new, though it is all she has ever known. She has seen the forest and the meadow often enough, both with and without the sister she is so willingly bound to. She has seen Tephra and her volcano, has waded into her hot springs and seen the magma dance like falling stars in the cracks of the dark rock. She has even seen Taiga, just once while visiting Ava, and beheld those immense and ancient trees, the fog that fell like clouds trapped beneath the foliage. But there are places she has not been, things she has not seen, and it is this curiosity, this welling of wonder in the core of her chest that pulls her from the reaches of sleep and the dark of starry skies. She is like liquid copper when she spills through the trees – silent but for the occasional snap of a young sapling bent beneath dark hooves. It is the softness of spring in the bristling green grass underfoot, the damp sponginess of thawed earth that swallows the sound of her steps as she passes by. The lowest branches reach for her, thin knotted fingers hidden beneath the guise of tawny buds and green sprouts, but her wings have not forgotten them and remain elusive and melded to the curve of her sloping ribs. In the dark she cannot see him, that stain of dark and molten gold made wet and silver in the glow of cold stars – cannot feel his eyes when they find her shape and trace the delicate hollows carved from copper and indigo. It is only when he appears beside her, when her mane dances like rust against her neck in the wind of his sudden arrival, that she notices him at all. It is reflexive when her wings lift and unfurl, dissolving from soft feather to the sleek and formidable leather of copper and gold dragons wings. They are imperious when they rise, wicked in the gleaming of steel talon and ruby scale, arrogant when they settle (only slightly) like a cape across her spine. There is something about his cold beauty that makes her uneasy, perhaps something about the way he had appeared as though born from the heavy dark of night. But there is something else that draws her in, that wretched curiosity still glowing in the pit of a bright and delicate chest. Her instincts whisper predator, but she had not met one yet. Did not fear them like she should. “Your forest?” She echoes, taking a small step back from skin that smells like heat and dust, from horns like curling obsidian atop that dangerous gold head. It is only to regain some distance, to more easily trace the quiet power in the sloping of his shoulders and the curve of his neck – she lacks the air of uncertainty that should carry her further still from the sharp beauty of that wicked smile. Instead, and with a faint smile of her own etched into deep and gleaming indigo, she says, “I was looking for something,“ a pause and she tips her chin at him, exploring those dark eyes and dirty gold angles of a face that might have been carved from marble, “or maybe for someone.” In the cold dark she slips toward him again, the soft of her nose brushing dangerously close to the hard muscle of a dusky gold shoulder. Exist RE: jump into the heat; exist - bruise - 01-22-2017 I call him the devil because he makes me want to sin RE: jump into the heat; exist - exist - 02-06-2017 while collecting the stars, I connected the dots.
I don’t know who I am, but now I know who I’m not. It is impossible not to notice how beautiful he is, not to notice how the starlight gleams against the wet gold, how his face is strong and sharp and nearly regal with that crown of bent horns atop it. It is impossible, too, not to feel that flutter in her belly, the betrayal of uninvited butterflies batting holes in her stomach when his eyes dissect the mingled calm and uncertainty waiting like a mask in the hollows of her near-copper face. “It isn’t.” Is all she says, disagreeing despite that charming smile that appears against that smooth, gleaming face. It only deepens the unease that has started beating in her chest alongside her heart. And then, as if it mattered, as if it changed anything, “I’ve never even seen you here before.” She regrets stepping closer as soon as that sound appears from the back of his throat – and again when those lips brush against the edge of a delicate, curving ear. Her eyes return immediately to his face, to his much darker eyes, and that ear disappears uncertainly into the tangles of rust mane just behind it. “Why would I be looking for you?” She asks quickly, frowning at the way her voice sounds a little breathless even to her ears. He has her rattled and she doesn’t understand why, doesn’t understand why despite the prickling of her skin and the wariness in her chest, something coaxes her closer still. Her voice is soft now, less breathless, and the faint smile that appears is enough to make those green eyes flash like emeralds. “Are you someone special?” His eyes find hers and it takes all of her willpower not to look away, to keep them from flitting out of reach, jumping through the night like flickering green sparks. But something happens then, and she can see the change in his face, like the hardening of molten gold and this time she does look away. The night is a relief, cool and clean and it settles her despite the way her heart is thrumming wildly in her chest. But it is not enough to soothe her when he appears suddenly and silently beside her, weaving his body tight against her as he circles around to press his nose to the copper of her waiting skin. There is a small gasp trapped in her chest, a sharp exhalation of breath that she holds onto until his lips are against her flesh. It escapes her then, like the whoosh of a loosed arrow, and she forces it in his direction. Her heart is a hammer tapping holes into her chest, her pulse the drum-beat to a song she has never heard before. It is reflexive when she pushes against him, using barely sheathed teeth that are meant to force him away – though his body is immovable and firm and yields only as he chooses. She is appeased when he steps away, but the relief lasts only a moment before he is back by her side and moving at an unnatural speed she cannot fathom. At this her wings unfurl, arrogant and furious, hanging curved and wide to force him back and away again. Even in the dark their fury is not well-hidden, a gleaming mess of ruby and cooper and long, hooked talons. But she is not her wings, and even as they stretch in the night, cupping starlight and drenching it down her spine, her face is soft and uncertain and only a little sharp. “Why?” She asks, barely able to push the urgency from the note of that starshine voice. “Why ‘Bruise’? Of anyone in the world, Exist knows most intimately the importance, the relevance, of a name. Exist RE: jump into the heat; exist - bruise - 02-06-2017 I call him the devil because he makes me want to sin RE: jump into the heat; exist - exist - 02-16-2017 while collecting the stars, I connected the dots.
I don’t know who I am, but now I know who I’m not. They are inseparable in the dark, knit together by flesh and starlight, seamless with his body pressed to hers and his mouth against her face, her neck, her throat. If she is being honest with herself, it is not just fear that flutters in her belly, not just fear that makes her skin ache and her bones tremble against him. It is the heat and the closeness and the echo of Leliana’s confession, of the man who pressed kisses to her skin and longing into her chest. But this, this is not it. Exist is certain. He purrs and she pins her ears again, though she does not force him back, does not forfeit his lips against her skin, not just yet. You weren’t looking hard enough, he says, pushing his mouth against her forehead, brushing the copper aside to reclaim her burning, emerald eyes, you didn’t know to look for me. She does push him away now, not hard enough to move him, but enough to reclaim less than an inch of cold night air between them. “I wasn’t looking at all,” she tells him with a frown, her voice soft and sharp, uncertain and unwilling, “I don’t make a habit of looking for the things that go bump in the night.” It isn’t entirely true, especially not now, especially less true with his mouth pressed to her forehead. But the lie comes easily enough. He disappears into the night and his absence is so sudden, so unexpected, so jarring that she stumbles back a few steps before she catches herself. Her ears unpin from her mane, slipping uncertainly forward as she lifted her head to peer out into the dark. But there was nothing out there, no shapes, no sound, not even the wind in the trees. It is eerie and she is unsettled, her refined copper face drawn tight in long lines of slender bone and hollows made to capture shadow. The first thing to find her, to break the stillness, is a long, unsettling shiver that races along her spine. It settles in her bones like the cold of deep winter, carving out the marrow until there is only fear inside of her. It is like waking up in a nightmare, in a world that is too dark, too quiet, all wrong. It is like being at the mercy of waking up. If he were to slip back against her, to push his mouth against her ear and fill her up with his heat and the thrum of his voice, the world is gone, it is just us now, she might believe him. Fear is strange in that way. All consuming and illogical, a stain on everything it touches. She almost calls out to him – not for him, never for him – but she is stubborn and she is silent, even in her fear. Instead she is stiff and erect, elegant like carved copper in the way that she strains against the dark, against the fear that he has planted in her belly. It is only when he eases alongside her again, coming from an entirely new direction (and it takes everything inside her not to show the surprise she feels in her chest), that she softens and settles and finds she can breathe again. He doesn’t touch her though, not this time, and the absence forces a different kind of ache into the curve of her chest. I named myself. He says, and he is pleased, she can see it in the flash of his sharp eyes. But his story unsettles her, furrows her brow and forces her back one, two steps. But he follows her closer and so she stills again, those green eyes narrow and sharp against the cruel beauty of his face. He tells her how he hurt the mare, laughs, tells her that they have the same eyes, and she flinches. “You’re cruel.” She says, and it isn’t a question, isn’t an accusation though it should be. And then, warily, “Had?” He is calm and quiet, breathing easily in the dark in deep contrast to the way her sides heave and her heart beats a tattoo against her chest. But she does not move to close the distance between them, does not move to press her lips to his face, to encourage him to do the same. She is only still, only wary. Why Exist? Her brow furrows and she turns her face slightly toward the dark, slightly from his eager eyes. “I would’ve died on the mountain,” she says, and those green eyes shift to find him again, “but someone told me to exist.” A pause and she watches him appraisingly, indecisively, still until she isn’t, until suddenly her lips are pressed against the curve of his jaw, the heat of wet-gold skin. “So I did,” she breathes against him, pulling away after one reluctant moment, “and I am.” Then, suspiciously, and with bruises in her eyes, “What happened to her?” What happens to someone who trusts you. Exist RE: jump into the heat; exist - bruise - 02-17-2017 I call him the devil because he makes me want to sin |