Okay.

She agreed more sounded good, and his heart thrilled. He couldn't seem to calm his racing pulse, or even want to, or the bright and eager hunger lighting in his eyes. Every move she made only made it worse, tugged that ravenous gaze down to watch her. Each squirm and wiggle under him, each breathless gasp that echoed across his own lips, it all sent him further and further away from right, and wrong, and Dad, and everything. There was only her, out here, in the middle of the sea. Only her, and him.

And she wanted more.

His groan made her push against him again, and he gasped at that too. So right. It was so right. Not wrong at all. He kissed the corner of her mouth, testing, watching to be sure this was okay with her, and she nuzzled his face with another soft gasp. His eyes closed briefly, loving that sound far too much, desire rising, then he brushed his lips against hers. Her eyes widened and she tried to follow when he started to pull away, but damn, he really couldn't. He wanted more than just that already, and he kissed her again. And she kissed back. Hesitant, but it was enough to send his thoughts reeling and drag another groan from him.

Kali...

Khari, she said back, meeting his eyes with another restless arch of her back and shift of her body. Oh, god. His body ached to answer hers, to press against her more and bear down on her. Every muscle in his body felt taut and constricted, holding himself back. Still had some control. I like the way that feels. A lot, I think, she told him. It made him want to please her more. It was okay if it was for her, and not him, right? She was aching, and he was helping. Making her feel better.

He could hear her confusion. How they'd always played before but not like this. She reached for him, her lips barely meeting his. Didn't know what she was asking for. A reason, an answer, an explanation. Why was it different now, why hadn't they done this before. Or maybe another kiss. Maybe like the ones he buried into her neck. Yeah, he could do that. She had definitely liked that. He did too.

Khari?

But he didn't answer in words or thoughts this time, taking her mouth with his again. So perfect. Felt so good. And again. He leaned his body into her more, hard muscles against her soft skin and young curves, and slid his kisses to her jaw then her throat. They deepened, and he played with teeth and tongue and little pinches that sparked her nerves. He wanted to please her, to leave her so wanting for him that she wakes in the night to beg for him to take her, to satisfy this deep ache in her only he could reach. He moaned at that image, holding her tighter so she could feel as much of him as he could press against her, his skin burning.

Secret, he breathed to her mind as he continued his kissing and biting and tasting, so perfectly lost in her thoughts and wrapped around her. We're a secret. They wouldn't understand. He was certain that he was doing wrong, doing too much. But her body crushed to his was everything. They were so far away. Nobody would find out anyway as long as they didn't tell. They could do it again. Every time she came to ask him to take her to the river, they could kiss again. And touch, and explore, and be. You can keep us secret, can't you? If you want this. If you want more. He gave her another pinch, just a little harder, with a soft moan, hoping to hear a breathless gasp of Yes.

Secret. You can keep us secret, can't you?
But it wasn't a breathless Yes that answered him.

Father's voice, muffled by memory. He flinched violently, tensed, his heart suddenly thundering in wild, frantic fear. Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod. But Dad wasn't here. Just a memory playing across her thoughts. He listened hard, desperately trying to grasp what she was thinking, what she was remembering. What had Father told her? Why was she thinking it now?

...make you their dirty little secret... tell 'em to fuck straight off... worth more than sneaking around... isn't anybody who deserves you.

He blanched and jerked back, staring down at her and searching her face. Did she already hate him for this? Oh, god, she hadn't really wanted this. She didn't understand that it was wrong. But so right. No, wrong. Fuck. Secret? she asked, reaching to kiss him again. It almost soothed him, almost reassured him. His eyes closed and he kissed her back, urgent and needing. It might be the last time that he got to. His chest tightened painfully.

What kind of secret? Some were fun, playful, happy. Or made them feel closer, and safe. Trusted. Maybe it was a good secret. I like some secrets. Is this a good kind? How could it be bad when she wanted more? He did too. He wanted so much more, wanted to show her so much more. He groaned anxiously, already worried that he'd fucked up. That he'd lost her, or she didn't want this. Or that she did, and they would, and she'd hate him for it when she learned. Or Dad would find out and hate him too, separate him so he couldn't even see her anymore. He'd take Kylin away too. He wouldn't trust him anymore, wouldn't love him. Kali didn't really want him, she didn't understand.

His head was spinning, but he locked onto Dad's words to her. "No, Kali, it isn't like that." It was exactly like that. A dirty little secret, lying and hiding and sneaking around. They would have to, Dad would never be okay with this. He groaned again. He was an adult, could breed with whoever the hell he wanted if he chose to. Just not her, not Kylin. And she was a teen, she should be old enough to choose for herself too, right? But not him. He rolled away from her and stood, turning away. Towards home. He was stiff, and aching in a different way now, his chest ravaged hollow and legs threatening to tremble.

Come on, Kali. I fucked up, I'm sorry. We should take you back.
I should leave. I should stay away. Maybe I shouldn't come back.

Oh. O-...okay, Khari.
Fuck. He didn't want it this way, didn't want it to end. Her thoughts weren't helping, and he stopped and closed his eyes. Her lips tingling from his, from their kissing. He wanted more. Maybe she really did too. He glanced sideways at her, her head low and shoulders hunched. She thought she did something wrong, that she messed this up. It hurt like hell that she'd ever blame herself for his fuck up, and he turned to face her.

”Oh, Kali,” he sighed softly, pulling her into his chest for a hug and wrapping his wings around her. His lips played at her hair again like he loved to do. This isn't you, baby, I messed up. He pulled back a little, using the wrist of his wing to gently lift her face to him and look in her eyes. You. Are perfect. Completely and absolutely perfect. I fucked up. If today went wrong, it’s my fault. Because some of it really didn’t feel wrong at all. Even the parts that should. They felt right, even, and he wanted to go back and pretend he never messed it up for them. Pretend he’d ignored Father’s voice breaking into their moment together.

...maybe we can go on a regular adventure tomorrow. Her thoughts were still where his were though, still reveling in how they’d felt together, pressed so close. Panting together, hearts racing. He wanted that again, wanted more. He shouldn’t have done it maybe, but he definitely still wanted more. But she didn’t really understand it, what they were doing. That it wasn’t normal or right for everyone. That Father would hate him if they continued. If...if you want, I mean.

He was still holding her chin up and his gaze slid down to her lips. I want you, he admitted softly, lowering to kiss her again, slow and tender. Maybe it was one last time, that was all. Damn, but she felt so goddamned good. He didn’t think he could ever stop wanting more now. He groaned. Sorry... I can't help it. You're so incredible. Should he explain it? Would she choose him? Probably not. Maybe she should have that choice though? He wished he knew. It was going to hurt so bad to hear her reject him.

I'm sorry I'm so back and forth right now, he apologized, stroking her cheek with downy feathers and staring in her eyes. He hoped she could see how badly he wanted her, how much he'd wanted to keep going. Make her shudder under his touch, and moan into his kisses. This is so hard for me. I think it has to be your choice if it's a good or bad secret. You would never be a bad secret to me. But it does have to be secret. Father would hate me. He should say more, should elaborate and explain it all, but how could he and still have any chance that she would still want this? He'd risk Father's hate for her, though. Way out here where it was safe. If she wanted.

I can do more, he promised quietly, his mouth drifting to her throat again with sensual kisses, showing her just a little, to that place in her neck that had made her moan so gloriously only minutes before. I want to do more. Now, or later. Tell me at anytime, and we can go somewhere, where no one will be bothered, no one will interrupt, and I can show you more. As much or as little as you want. If you ever want to. But it had to be her choice. Because he was already saying yes. Definitely yes.

She relaxed as he held her, but she looked so damn fragile when he pulled away to look in her eyes. He’d done that to her. Those tears, that not-quite tremble in her lip. All his doing. He shouldn’t have done it, shouldn’t have gotten carried away like he did. Father would kill him if he found out. But it didn’t stop him from taking one last kiss, from promising she could never be a bad secret to him. He hated that she would have to be a secret at all, but Father was clear.

That promise seemed to make her feel a little better, though, and she leaned into him. Her sun-bathed skin felt so good, the soft gray pressing against his lavender. His heart was already racing again, and watching his gentle caress to her cheek ignite something in her eyes made it hammer even harder. Damn, and she must have felt it too, crushed so perfectly together this way. And maybe he got a little carried away again, maybe he just couldn’t help it, and his lips found her throat again. He wanted to taste her, needed to hear and see and feel his touch push her back into that incredible place that made her squirm beneath him.

What kind of more, she asked, her lips brushing his jaw. His eyes closed with a breathy sigh, and his body ached for more, to keep going. But his head fell a little at her next words, drifting to rest lightly against her forehead. For comfort, he needed the comfort. Why would Daddy hate you, Khari? And softer, Would he hate me too?

He didn’t say anything for a long while. Could only just stand there and breathe her in, feel her face against his and the warmth of her body. Father definitely wouldn’t be happy, but he could never hate Kali. It was Kharon that would get the blame, and rightly so. He’d told him not to do this kind of thing and he’d done it anyway. This was all his fault.

Maybe something in him was broken. Maybe there was too much of his grandfather. But even Umbra, with her sexy smooth body and glorious wings, couldn’t entice him away. They’d toyed with each other, had a great deal of fun stirring their blood for each other and earning gasps of pleasure and delightful moans. But in the end, he still hadn’t wanted her. Not really. Flirty friends rather than lovers.

He could never hate you, he said quietly. He shouldn’t have dragged her into this, his problems or whatever it was. He should learn how to control it better, or something. There was a sad sort of smile on his face when he finally pulled back again, brushing a sweet kiss to her forehead. Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have played with you that way. I’ll try not to do it again. Dad won’t have any reason to be upset. He shifted to stand at her side and covered her with his wing as he always did, teasing at her hair one more time before leading them forward again.

Will you come out with me again tomorrow? We can go all the way to the river this time... Out here, alone with her where no one could find them, was far too tempting. Where she could moan and cry out for him all she wanted and not a soul would be bothered by it. Maybe it was better to be somewhere else instead. Somewhere away from the lick of the sea against their skin. Away from urging rock of the ocean.