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+---- Thread: All things want to open. [any] (/showthread.php?tid=24223)
RE: All things want to open. [any] - Neverwhere - 07-23-2019
Silence. Neverwhere would say that there has not been enough of that in her life, she would be snide and say that somebody is always chattering nearby, horses, birds, squirrels, rivers. The grass in the wind rustling gently, spreading rumors. The dappled mare would say that she has never been lonely, too, but that is not entirely correct. Although she builds her little walls to keep others at bay and takes her solitary treks, she has also not been content in a very long time. She creates nothing and only slinks through life, barely experiencing it because it would require the social interaction that she avoids with a sneer.
She has been lonely her whole life.
She would never admit it, she would never share it, and if Neverwhere even recognizes this small truth, she keeps it buried deep, untouched. Best to let it fester in darkness, coiling tendrils of anxiety and restlessness in her belly and brain that she hides behind her mask of disinterest.
Lilliana's tone has changed drastically and the mare blinks and draws a long breath while the chestnut speaks.
"You can apologize if you want, but it's a waste," her words run slowly, unsure of the correct way to react, but quite sure what she's said is not it. "Apologizing for thinking we might leave somehow! We got here, didn't we?"
Indeed, it must be possible to leave, too. Magic or no, the land couldn't sustain a constant influx of new horses appearing bewildered on its shores, on top of the seasonal population growth. No, there must be some way that horses can disperse to other lands beyond, if they've set their minds to it.
Lilliana's own family must have managed it, although Neverwhere has no way of knowing that history.
"Unless we just die," she adds, helpfully.
Her tone is wry, but she has no way of telling whether her red-gold companion - whose mood has turned sharply from sparkling to gloomy - will take it as a joke or as a blow, so it is somewhat carelessly said.
"I think I'll be leaving as much of the magic as I can right where it is," She doesn't mention that she is afraid of it, a truth she grasps a bit more firmly than the truth of her solitude. "Plagues, wars, power, no. It's all so much work, don't you think?"
And so much responsibility. And so many chains binding you in place. Neverwhere has been nomadic for so long, she is not sure if she can stop her feet from running, now. She cannot imagine what it is like to have a home, a family, a goal. The thought of stopping grips her throat in panic. She is not tempted by any of those things
"I don't really know what I'm doing, I'm always finding another trail, so maybe it was inevitable that I end up here. I could end up anywhere, really, but I go nowhere. I wish I had a better answer for you."
She doesn't wish that, though. Not really Because she already knows that there is one.
She has been lonely her whole life.
She would never admit it, she would never share it, and if Neverwhere even recognizes this small truth, she keeps it buried deep, untouched. Best to let it fester in darkness, coiling tendrils of anxiety and restlessness in her belly and brain that she hides behind her mask of disinterest.
Lilliana's tone has changed drastically and the mare blinks and draws a long breath while the chestnut speaks.
"You can apologize if you want, but it's a waste," her words run slowly, unsure of the correct way to react, but quite sure what she's said is not it. "Apologizing for thinking we might leave somehow! We got here, didn't we?"
Indeed, it must be possible to leave, too. Magic or no, the land couldn't sustain a constant influx of new horses appearing bewildered on its shores, on top of the seasonal population growth. No, there must be some way that horses can disperse to other lands beyond, if they've set their minds to it.
Lilliana's own family must have managed it, although Neverwhere has no way of knowing that history.
"Unless we just die," she adds, helpfully.
Her tone is wry, but she has no way of telling whether her red-gold companion - whose mood has turned sharply from sparkling to gloomy - will take it as a joke or as a blow, so it is somewhat carelessly said.
"I think I'll be leaving as much of the magic as I can right where it is," She doesn't mention that she is afraid of it, a truth she grasps a bit more firmly than the truth of her solitude. "Plagues, wars, power, no. It's all so much work, don't you think?"
And so much responsibility. And so many chains binding you in place. Neverwhere has been nomadic for so long, she is not sure if she can stop her feet from running, now. She cannot imagine what it is like to have a home, a family, a goal. The thought of stopping grips her throat in panic. She is not tempted by any of those things
"I don't really know what I'm doing, I'm always finding another trail, so maybe it was inevitable that I end up here. I could end up anywhere, really, but I go nowhere. I wish I had a better answer for you."
She doesn't wish that, though. Not really Because she already knows that there is one.
Neverwhere
.........
@[lilliana] is this were we apologize for weird meandering posts that we wrote while we were dirnking? lol
RE: All things want to open. [any] - lilliana - 07-27-2019
The grief comes and goes, pulls on her as the moon pulls on the tides. It happens with a careless thought, a slip of a word. She had known the finality of her decision when she made it. But the hindsight of the decision, when she allows it to slam into her and leave her breathless with ache, sometimes threatens to swallow her and Lilli isn’t sure how she is supposed to keep going. The child in her still longs for normalcy, the protection that her family had offered and the routine that living in one place provided. She longs for Aletta’s wise gaze, for the sounds of her nieces and nephews as their laughter carries, the security that comes in knowing that she is where she belongs.
But that time has long since passed.
The security, the normalcy, the routine have all been stripped from Lilli and the version that stands here in Beqanna is just an aimless girl.
She can feel whatever has buoyed her, what has kept her head above the drowning sensation of loss and insecurity, leave her. It sucks her under, stripping the air from her lungs and leaves her deflated, lost again in a wave of emotions that she can’t even begin to sort through. It looms large like a mountain might block out the sun or the way a tsunami threatens to obliterate everything in it’s path, leaving only a path of destruction and desolation in its wake.
She trains her eyes on the ground, studying every deep indent and line that carves the tree nearest her. Lilli studies it because she can’t quite bring herself to look at Neverwhere yet, as if looking at the dappled mare will take the last of Lilli’s resolve to remain positive. If she lefts the doubt settle, if she allows it continue to eat away at her then she feels like it will eat away at her, take away what little strength and confidence she has left since departing her birth lands and watching her family dissolve. They had all gone their separate ways looking for a future that lingered beyond the mountains that had once served as a barrier from the outside realms, that had protected them and allowed them to grow and thrive for generations.
An ear twitches toward Neverwhere, hears her words drawl out in a tone of uncertainty. Blue eyes look up, curious as to what she is thinking. There is something implied in her tone that Lilli thinks she hears, a sort of camaraderie that while they were both newcomers to this realm, they had somehow gotten here. That itself was a feat and perhaps an act of determination depending on how one arrived. Her head rises slightly, the start of a shy smile dawning on that auburn maw. ”Yes, yes we did,” she replies. And at Neverwhere’s next words, Lilli’s smile arches upward and laughter comes chiming out. Perhaps the mare hadn’t intended it as a joke but Lilli interprets it this way and is appreciative at the attempt at humor. ”Ah,” she sighs, laughter still clinging to her next words. ”What is death but another plane of existence?”
When the conversation settles again and when the last of the tension has left Lilli, she shakes her head and peers back to the pale mare, curious as to what it was she was here seeking. The thought of being an aimless wanderer is as foreign to Lilli as her belonging to a family, to wanting those things again must be to Neverwhere. Lilli, always the dreamer, casts an inquisitive gaze heavenward, wondering about magic and the way it once flowed through this land like veins to a body. ”I don’t understand magic. I’ve never had it so what can I know about it?” She shrugs her shoulders and looks back to Neverwhere, dismissing the thoughts of wielding it and the abilities it brings. With one last look, her blue eyes peer up again to watch a lone bird. ”Though I have always wanted to fly. I thought it would have been a glorious thing to have been born with wings.”
The bird flies away and so goes the talk of wings and flying with it.
She looks back to Neverwhere, tilting her head slightly as she listens to what the mare has to say. ”If there is something your seeking, I hope one day you find it.” She isn’t quite sure what she is trying to say to Neverwhere. The thought of endlessly traveling, of going everywhere and ending up nowhere is one that she can’t quite understand. But if it makes Neverwhere happy, if it is the thing that keeps her soul at peace and gives meaning to her days, then she wishes the best trails and adventures for the silver mare. ”It’s a beautiful answer. The most winding and crooked of trails can lead to the most amazing views.”
@[neverwhere]
RE: All things want to open. [any] - Neverwhere - 07-27-2019
“Wings?”
An interesting thought, flight, it would probably make her own nomadic lifestyle easier to some extent. There would be places that would not be such a struggle to reach. But it also comes with its own problems. She has seen the winged horses, and most are bulky in the middle. They do not pass quietly between trees, indeed, many of them simply avoid the trees when they grow so tight that their branches and their roots intermingle. That is territory that a horse can easily navigate without wings, but with, they are a liability.
She wonders if the horses’ wings are as easily damaged as the bird wings they most resemble. The hollow bones that shatter and splinter so easily under a horse’s hoof. Do they moult? Do they pluck out the feathers when under duress like a parrot kept forever in a cage? And what of their care? She has seen birds preening frequently, their feathers require constant attention to maintain health and their air-worthiness. Do the horses preen? She does not know, has not seen it.
No, perhaps not wings, then, not for Neverwhere, at any rate. She tries instead to imagine them on Lilliana, chestnut feathers stirring in the wind. No doubt their needs would be nothing to the her, full of wonder as she is.
“I am sure you would wear them well.”
When Lilliana’s bird flies away, Neverwhere lifts her head, tracing its flight path deeper into the woods where they cannot see. The familiar itch starts up in the back of her head, she is ready to be moving again, but it is so soon, and probably rude. She quells the urge, returning her attention to Lilliana who is touching on the beauties of a nomadic life. For a minute, she considers what things must look like through the other mare’s wide, blue, eyes, and then, suddenly, she laughs.
It’s not a particularly pretty laugh, as much a bark as anything else.
“Lilliana, I can’t exactly see the views that well no matter how amazing they are!” She snorts, amused, then, concerned that the chestnut’s melancholy has not, perhaps, passed fully, “Come on, I’m tired of standing still, what is there to do around here?”
An interesting thought, flight, it would probably make her own nomadic lifestyle easier to some extent. There would be places that would not be such a struggle to reach. But it also comes with its own problems. She has seen the winged horses, and most are bulky in the middle. They do not pass quietly between trees, indeed, many of them simply avoid the trees when they grow so tight that their branches and their roots intermingle. That is territory that a horse can easily navigate without wings, but with, they are a liability.
She wonders if the horses’ wings are as easily damaged as the bird wings they most resemble. The hollow bones that shatter and splinter so easily under a horse’s hoof. Do they moult? Do they pluck out the feathers when under duress like a parrot kept forever in a cage? And what of their care? She has seen birds preening frequently, their feathers require constant attention to maintain health and their air-worthiness. Do the horses preen? She does not know, has not seen it.
No, perhaps not wings, then, not for Neverwhere, at any rate. She tries instead to imagine them on Lilliana, chestnut feathers stirring in the wind. No doubt their needs would be nothing to the her, full of wonder as she is.
“I am sure you would wear them well.”
When Lilliana’s bird flies away, Neverwhere lifts her head, tracing its flight path deeper into the woods where they cannot see. The familiar itch starts up in the back of her head, she is ready to be moving again, but it is so soon, and probably rude. She quells the urge, returning her attention to Lilliana who is touching on the beauties of a nomadic life. For a minute, she considers what things must look like through the other mare’s wide, blue, eyes, and then, suddenly, she laughs.
It’s not a particularly pretty laugh, as much a bark as anything else.
“Lilliana, I can’t exactly see the views that well no matter how amazing they are!” She snorts, amused, then, concerned that the chestnut’s melancholy has not, perhaps, passed fully, “Come on, I’m tired of standing still, what is there to do around here?”
Neverwhere
.........
RE: All things want to open. [any] - lilliana - 07-27-2019
Neverwhere asks the question and a smile forms at the tip of Lilli’s lips, turning upwards. It’s a silly thought, a childish wish. But ever since she has been small, the crimson girl has always envied the fliers. She has imagined and thrilled at the spreading of wings, at the grace of soaring, at the freedom a pair of wings provides. And when she had been so small, the little girl had wondered if a pair of wings might have taken her out of Murmuring Rivers, if she might see more of the world than the few rivers that wound their way through the the flat lands.
Wings might have their faults and flaws, but to a little dreamer, they had been a thing of wonder and awe.
”Wings,” she repeats and she grins now, watching Neverwhere’s reaction. ”When I learned that horses could fly, it seemed such a shame to be stuck down here when there is a world that beckons up there.” She tilts her chin up, looking again to the rolling white clouds and the looming blue sky above. ”A pair of wings might make your travels a little easier,” Lilli muses know, thinking of an airbound Neverwhere, the silver mare at home in the heavens above. She looks back the dappled female and thinks that Neverwhere might have other thoughts about that.
”Thank you,” she says, her voice warm and enthusiastic with the daydream. The pair stand in silence as Lilli watches her bird fly away, watches it soar until its form blends and disappears against the outlines of the bare branches above. How ironic, Lilli thinks, that she once had wanted to fly away too. She hasn’t flown but she has come a long ways since the days that she has stood along the banks of Murmuring Rivers and wondered about all the places that her winged friends had flown. And she wonders know if any of those birds might be here now, if they have made the same journey she has.
Silly, silly thoughts that Lilli can never seem to quite get rid of.
The bird vanishes and leaves them, leaves Lilli wondering about where it was headed now. How vast this place seemed and she wonders if she will ever learn the layout of Beqanna and the various realms that claim to be a part of it. Neverwhere laughs and even if it is not the most lyrical of laughs, Lilli smiles to herself and finds music at the heart of it. Had the conversation been just beginning, she would have apologized again to Neverwhere. But something tells her that the mare wouldn’t have accepted it and she just has to tell herself to choose her words more wisely next time. The world might be hazy and full of shadows for Neverwhere but something tells Lilli that the silver mare is more than capable of seeing things more clearly than most.
”Perhaps not,” she says back, ”but there are other senses aren’t there? Smell? Hear? Touch? Sight isn’t the only way to see.” She muses this back, Lilli lost again in the realm of dreams. And then the mare calls her back again, Lilli settling her blue eyes on Neverwhere as she comes closer. ”I don’t know,” she teases. ”If we’re not starting a war or creating a plague, what else is there left to do?”
@[neverwhere] my turn to drink and ramble XD
RE: All things want to open. [any] - Neverwhere - 07-31-2019
There is a special irony in the fact that Neverwhere, with her somewhat impaired vision, would go on any long journey at all, would ever leave familiar grounds, and, to some, there might be a romance in the idea that she eschews the old, worn paths of her childhood and trips her way to distant horizons. She could, if she thought about it for a moment, understand where those others would get that idea, but the reality of things is less appealing. She has ignored or not seen a great many things, both dangerous and beautiful, and, yes, there are other senses to navigate by, she can hear perfectly well, and smell, and her feet are sensitive to certain vibrations in the earth and changes to the footing. It is less, though. It is not the same to say that she has smelled the rain and lightning of oncoming storms or heard the sunset, the clamor of birds going to roost just before the sun sets, and the sudden hush as it does, before the activity of night begins in soft flutters and squeaks. These are things all the horses can do, but those with lesser visual capabilities must and will therefore apply greater scrutiny. Of course, Neverwhere still sees well enough to know the light is changing, but, someday, perhaps, she may not. It is hard to say if this gradual decline is better, or worse.
“Yes, there are other senses, they are no different from any other horse’s, only I have to pay a bit more attention to them,” she replies, ear flicking back and forth as though to emphasize the point. Movement deep in the woods has caught her attention, soft paws padding through the leaves and loam. Hell hound, wolf, or coyote, it can be hard to tell the difference, at first. They can each move singly or in packs and be a threat – or not – with an annoying unpredictability. One ear remains trained on the sound behind her, but these are not the sounds of hunting animals.
Neverwhere, out of habit, turns her body broadside, presenting haunches and hard hooves against the direction of the sounds, as if this would deter attack. It was always possible, running into predators in the woods. This is their territory, not hers, so it makes it an unusual choice of places for horses to linger in conversation, regardless of whether or not they can see. Their meeting has lasted long enough for the sun to begin dipping low in the sky and the dappled daylight has become long orange beams cutting between the trees and lengthening shadows.
“Well, I’m not interested in war, so that leaves us with a plague then. How would we start that?” She has already started walking, though not hurriedly, she is in no rush to be anywhere, only ready to be moving on.
“Yes, there are other senses, they are no different from any other horse’s, only I have to pay a bit more attention to them,” she replies, ear flicking back and forth as though to emphasize the point. Movement deep in the woods has caught her attention, soft paws padding through the leaves and loam. Hell hound, wolf, or coyote, it can be hard to tell the difference, at first. They can each move singly or in packs and be a threat – or not – with an annoying unpredictability. One ear remains trained on the sound behind her, but these are not the sounds of hunting animals.
Neverwhere, out of habit, turns her body broadside, presenting haunches and hard hooves against the direction of the sounds, as if this would deter attack. It was always possible, running into predators in the woods. This is their territory, not hers, so it makes it an unusual choice of places for horses to linger in conversation, regardless of whether or not they can see. Their meeting has lasted long enough for the sun to begin dipping low in the sky and the dappled daylight has become long orange beams cutting between the trees and lengthening shadows.
“Well, I’m not interested in war, so that leaves us with a plague then. How would we start that?” She has already started walking, though not hurriedly, she is in no rush to be anywhere, only ready to be moving on.
Neverwhere
.........
@[lilliana]
RE: All things want to open. [any] - lilliana - 08-02-2019
Of all the things that Lilli had pictured herself doing, the few times that she was able to paint a picture of her a future, becoming a traveler was not the one she had foreseen. It had been so easy when she had been small. The little girl had imagined a future among the daisies and the lupines, among the lacey white flowers and the bluebonnets. She thought that she would be there forever, always with Elena and always with her family. It is perhaps the same thoughts that most children had but Lilli hadn't wanted more than what she was given in those splendid days that were spent on the banks of the trickling and winding riverbeds. The chestnut filly was prone to looking above to the heavens, to turning her thoughts skywards to the birds, the geese and the other creatures that graced the sky. There was always a longing there, wonderment at the beauty and grace the way their wings would spread and stretch, would propel and carry them heavenward.
But as much as she dreamed of flying and thought of the magic there must be above, Lilli had been happy in Murmuring Rivers. She had been loved and cherished and there was nothing more that she could have asked for.
But somehow the little girl who had wanted nothing more than to be among her family, to spend her days with those she loves has found herself without them. The future that she had once imagined has been forgotten and left behind in the marshes of her river bend, left among the flowers and the magic of childhood. Beqanna had been nothing more than a bedtime story once, a place that her ancestors had once called home in a distant past. And yet here Lilli stood, Aletta's young daughter born without her mother's wanderlust, in places unknown and trying to figure out where exactly she might fit in this land of wild magic and its wide array of creatures. When she thinks about it, how big this place is and how many dwell in this place, it overwhelms her. How is she supposed to find her way in a place such as this?
As her blue eyes warm to Neverwhere, as they become more familiar and comfortable with each other, there is a part of Lilli that thinks she will be okay. Souls like Neverwhere give her an assurance that things will work out in the end. The chestnut is grateful for the startling the sound and even if it wasn't Neverwhere who spooked the trees, Lilli finds the divine grace in the moment, the lending hand that has lead her to the company of the silver dappled mare. Even if Neverwhere can't see the appreciation on Lilli's youthful face, it comes off her in waves of warm gratitude. She spies the movement of Neverwhere's ear, moving back and forth to signal her point. Her sight may be impaired but her language is direct and Lilli can't help but think that it must be another useful tool that the silver mare has.
Lilli, while oblivious to some things, isn't deaf to the sounds in the woods. A single ear trains itself on the wood and stays there, waiting for the footfalls to either pause or carry on. Neverwhere, obliviously the more experienced of the pair, angles herself in a ready position to the sound. Lilli casts a weary glance to the wood where the light has started to dim as the day comes to a close. There is some time yet before night blankets Beqanna a cloak of starlight but the warning has not gone unnoticed. The dread that Lilli feels lingers in the pit of her stomach. She buries it in exchange for Neverwhere's question though the crimson girl wishes she had a better answer. "I'm afraid I fall short in the plague-making category," she half-smiles. "And from what I've heard of the last plague, I'm not sure that the current residents would appreciate us making another one." The shadows stretch and reach, growing longer with each passing moment. A reminder that haunts Lilli.
She swallows, slightly afraid to ask. But the thought of another long, empty night is unbearable. "Neverwhere," she tries, "Have you been staying out in these woods? At night, I mean,"the girl asks.
@[neverwhere]
RE: All things want to open. [any] - Neverwhere - 08-04-2019
No plague, then. Luckily, it hadn’t been a serious question, Lilliana looks more like the sort to chat about flowers than plagues, but Neverwhere doesn’t ask. She doesn’t really want to know about flowers. No, it seems they came to Beqanna during a rebuilding, a lull in the riotous madness that has drawn most of them here. Still, there had already been at least one war, so all was not peaceful and bright. Some of the horses sickened during the plague were still dealing with the leftovers of the disease. Lilli was likely right, nobody would much appreciate another plague, and besides, there is probably something worse rushing headlong at them now, and no-one has a clue.
As the red mare falls in step with her, Neverwhere is forced to consider where her feet are taking them. She does not know the land beyond the woods, it is no longer neutral territory, and east lies the river which separates the meadow from the forest. The meadow is the better place to be, the open space lending power to their speed, but it is questionable if they could even get that far if they were attacked now. If. The chocolate brown mare is not convinced the sounds were not simply a horse-hell-hound-thing traipsing the woods, all snarl and coarse hair, but probably uninterested in them. She finds herself considering brief defensive strategies, the sort one uses to quickly disengage and then get away from bad situations, and she finds herself having to include Lilli in them.
She did not mean to become responsible for the other, and part of her resents it, resents the seed of protection that is rooting itself in her brain, telling her that Lilliana needs her help, needs her to play the role of casual confidence. There is not much that Neverwhere could actually do to help the chestnut if they were attacked, of course, she will kick and bite to defend herself if necessary, but the minute she shakes free of an assailant, she is going to run. The dappled mare looks sideways at Lilli and finds herself hoping she’s smart enough to run as well.
“Other woods I have, but not these ones, no. Have you?” She thinks already knows the answer to this, by the strain in Lilliana’s voice, but what in the world was the other mare doing napping under trees in the middle of a forest if she didn’t intend to spend the night in them?
“Where were you going before the tree woke you? We could head that way.” The unspoken words, that she will stay with her, at least for the time being, as they walk deeper into the woods.
As the red mare falls in step with her, Neverwhere is forced to consider where her feet are taking them. She does not know the land beyond the woods, it is no longer neutral territory, and east lies the river which separates the meadow from the forest. The meadow is the better place to be, the open space lending power to their speed, but it is questionable if they could even get that far if they were attacked now. If. The chocolate brown mare is not convinced the sounds were not simply a horse-hell-hound-thing traipsing the woods, all snarl and coarse hair, but probably uninterested in them. She finds herself considering brief defensive strategies, the sort one uses to quickly disengage and then get away from bad situations, and she finds herself having to include Lilli in them.
She did not mean to become responsible for the other, and part of her resents it, resents the seed of protection that is rooting itself in her brain, telling her that Lilliana needs her help, needs her to play the role of casual confidence. There is not much that Neverwhere could actually do to help the chestnut if they were attacked, of course, she will kick and bite to defend herself if necessary, but the minute she shakes free of an assailant, she is going to run. The dappled mare looks sideways at Lilli and finds herself hoping she’s smart enough to run as well.
“Other woods I have, but not these ones, no. Have you?” She thinks already knows the answer to this, by the strain in Lilliana’s voice, but what in the world was the other mare doing napping under trees in the middle of a forest if she didn’t intend to spend the night in them?
“Where were you going before the tree woke you? We could head that way.” The unspoken words, that she will stay with her, at least for the time being, as they walk deeper into the woods.
Neverwhere
wander away from the world’s somewheres
@[star] a bit light, i'm sleepy today
RE: All things want to open. [any] - lilliana - 08-05-2019
Lilli is good at the banter. She can play with the lightness of conversation, can turn it around quick and usually find some playful reply. She is good at smiling, at keeping a cheerful facade. Those blue eyes can brighten to a shade of brilliant blue. Her smile is warm and genuine, has none of the lines of deceit or manipulation. Perhaps if Lilli was better at reading others, if she had some aspirations or grand design at power and prestige, she would have a wittier reply, something better to say than these impish turn of phrases. But this is Lilliana we are speaking of - she has no plans beyond the immediate moment. She can't even bring herself to think of the impending evening that looms before them. To think of the darkness fills her with dread and Lilli would just be happier to avoid thinking of it at all.
But the problem with this is that night is coming. It comes at the same time (give or take a few moments thanks to the changing of the seasons) every day and the way that the shadows come long gives the blue-eyed girl a reason to cast a careful look into the woods.
She follows into an easy stride with Neverwhere. This is an easy thing, letting the other mare take charge and lead them. Perhaps if this had been Beyond, if Lilli hadn't lost all her confidence and what little assurance she once had, she would be able to take Neverwhere somewhere. But that girl is long gone and in her place is this russet shadow, an intimation of the girl who had once been so much bolder. It's funny. Lilli has been afraid of change, of losing a part of herself and despite everything, the walls and barriers she has put around herself, the careful way she has managed her emotions, she has lost sight of herself somewhere. (The more time she spends in Beqanna, the more that this has become painfully aware to the crimson girl.)
Neverwhere might not have intended to take charge of their current situation but the fact that she does isn't missed by Lilli. She takes notice of it and a wave of appreciation passes through her, a fleeting glance full of gratitude goes out to Neverwhere even if it's missed by her hazy sight. If the two mares with perhaps a touch more comfortable with each other, Lilli would have bumped her shoulder, given her a light touch as thank you for Neverwhere forging a path where Lilli hasn't even been able to find a trail.
But they aren't quite there yet and so Lilli can only hope that her silent appreciation doesn't go unnoticed.
The dappled mare looks at her and Lilli glances curiously back, trying to discern what is that Neverwhere is asking of her. The wolves, or whatever it is that has stalked in the wood, are temporarily forgotten as her blue eyes peer to the mare beside her. Something inside Lilli groans and she wonders if she has said the wrong thing. It seems like she has made one wrong choice after the other. "A few," she admits hesitantly. She looks away from Neverwhere then, thinking over her next words. The russet girl gives a small sigh and continues to follow the path that the dappled mare has set for them. "I've been making my way down to the River." A small offering, a small admission that feels like a huge on to Lilliana. And as her mind moves forward, she decides to offer Neverwhere a little more. "The River feels more like home to me." She looks back to Never then, a thoughtful smile emerging.
She decides then to give the silver mare a little more of the truth, of herself and perhaps Neverwhere might tell her something of herself in return. Where did she come from? What were her people like? There are questions that linger in the back of Lilliana's mind. "I haven't been sleeping well.. at night, that is. I've been trying to get a few hours during the day while the sun is out." Her expression becomes more serious and then she looks ahead again, focusing on the path that leads to the River. "I hate the dark. I always have... it's just been worse since I came here." She pauses, swallowing the lump that forms in her throat. "If you don't mind, we could go to the River together. And then we can concoct any further schemes from there?" Her heart races a little bit asking the mare so directly and she glances back to Neverwhere, invitation, and understanding lurking behind her blue eyes.
@[neverwhere]
RE: All things want to open. [any] - Neverwhere - 08-07-2019
Neverwhere’s head dips in the smallest acknowledgement, and she bends her feet toward the river, turning away from the arcs of golden light slicing through the forest, and heading towards dusk. There is no direct way to the river, it is mostly deerpaths, sometimes narrow, sometimes barely noticeable, only the slightest interruption of undergrowth, so that the mares must walk single file, and even then the thin branches of witch-hazel and serviceberry caress their hides. Tangled hawthorn branches catch and scratch. Leading, Neverwhere takes the worst in these instances, and though the welts across her chest go ignored, she becomes frustrated when a bough tangles in her tail, snapping across her flanks with each irritated flick.
One ear is turned and following Lilliana’s voice, although she does not answer right away. Instead, she is concentrating on the path before her which is bathed in deepening shadow, making navigation difficult. Neverwhere travels largely by intuition and instinct, her other ear strained forward where the faintest trace of rushing water beckons, and nose full of the gray-green smell of water. When at last the trail widens again and conversation is easier, she falls back a touch so that the chestnut draws up to her shoulder.
“All the same sort are out during the night as the day,” she says, with a bit of a shrug. She shouldn’t be so dismissive of the other mare’s fear, it is often something out of an individual’s control, but her own world-view has come to her so differently. “They like to tell stories about monsters in the night to scare children, but most of that kind are easy to avoid, or don’t exist at all.” Neverwhere pauses, she means to be comforting, and suspects she is not, “It’s easier to let your imagination run away in the darkness, though...”
And easier to take for granted that what you see in the light of day is the truth. If anybody’s imagination would stampede off with them in the night, it must surely be Lilli’s. Perhaps it is the dappled mare’s ruined vision that has inured her to that, to some extent. Much of her life is blurred or dark already, except for the rare good day, so if she were given to flights of fancy, she’d always be jumpy and spooking. She is quiet and contemplative for a few yards, listening to the growing sounds of river-water tumbling over itself, churning on its rocky bed, and when she does speak again, has changed the topic entirely.
“It’s getting pretty dark, do you think you can lead the way from here?" Even in the darkness, Neverwhere could find her way alone, picking her feet perhaps a little higher than need be to avoid the roots she cannot see, but it would be easier to follow another, an option she rarely has the opportunity to take advantage of.
"It's been quite a while since I let someone else choose my path for me, and about as long since I’ve felt at home anywhere. Not since I left my family’s territory in the high desert, but,” she adds, with a hint of dry amusement, “I certainly don’t have anywhere else to be.” Why not the river? She has no home and no aim, and she could use a drink.
One ear is turned and following Lilliana’s voice, although she does not answer right away. Instead, she is concentrating on the path before her which is bathed in deepening shadow, making navigation difficult. Neverwhere travels largely by intuition and instinct, her other ear strained forward where the faintest trace of rushing water beckons, and nose full of the gray-green smell of water. When at last the trail widens again and conversation is easier, she falls back a touch so that the chestnut draws up to her shoulder.
“All the same sort are out during the night as the day,” she says, with a bit of a shrug. She shouldn’t be so dismissive of the other mare’s fear, it is often something out of an individual’s control, but her own world-view has come to her so differently. “They like to tell stories about monsters in the night to scare children, but most of that kind are easy to avoid, or don’t exist at all.” Neverwhere pauses, she means to be comforting, and suspects she is not, “It’s easier to let your imagination run away in the darkness, though...”
And easier to take for granted that what you see in the light of day is the truth. If anybody’s imagination would stampede off with them in the night, it must surely be Lilli’s. Perhaps it is the dappled mare’s ruined vision that has inured her to that, to some extent. Much of her life is blurred or dark already, except for the rare good day, so if she were given to flights of fancy, she’d always be jumpy and spooking. She is quiet and contemplative for a few yards, listening to the growing sounds of river-water tumbling over itself, churning on its rocky bed, and when she does speak again, has changed the topic entirely.
“It’s getting pretty dark, do you think you can lead the way from here?" Even in the darkness, Neverwhere could find her way alone, picking her feet perhaps a little higher than need be to avoid the roots she cannot see, but it would be easier to follow another, an option she rarely has the opportunity to take advantage of.
"It's been quite a while since I let someone else choose my path for me, and about as long since I’ve felt at home anywhere. Not since I left my family’s territory in the high desert, but,” she adds, with a hint of dry amusement, “I certainly don’t have anywhere else to be.” Why not the river? She has no home and no aim, and she could use a drink.
Neverwhere
.........
Nover needs a drink lol
we can pick this up at the river if you want
@[lilliana]
RE: All things want to open. [any] - lilliana - 08-10-2019
Lilli follows Neverwhere though her gaze is apprehensive. She partly marvels and then worries for the silver mare, admiring the way she is able to pick her way through the brush. The deer paths are slim and difficult for Lilli to manage on her own. She has no idea of how the other mare is able to navigate her way through these paths but the chestnut girl follows, one ear still carefully turned to the lurking wood around them and her blue eyes fixed on the Neverwhere's haunches. With each branch that strikes or entangles her dappled companion, Lilli can feel Never's frustration build and the crimson mare regrets her suggestion that they go to the River. She was imposing on her friends' kindness and letting her take the brunt of the trails wildness doesn't sit well with her.
The road less traveled by comes with more thorns and scratches than the poets mentioned
The path finally gives way and Lilli is able to settle alongside Neverwhere. Briefly, her attention is held by the wood and its lurking shadows. Her blue eyes are attentive, her lithe form tensing as she mentions the dark and its perils. An ear flicks to Never and Lilli's head soon turns, her silver blue eyes longing to believe what the other mare tells her. All Lilli can hear is Frostbane's maniacal laughter as he freezes the air around him with terror, Underworld's leer as he comes from the shadows. There is some truth to what the mare says - both creatures were as terrifying during the daylight as they were when night fell. So perhaps she has been foolish all this time to think that monsters could come only from the darkness.
Something in Lilli hardens. Maybe it is because she is finally becoming comfortable with her traveling partner that the chestnut is finally allowing her polite facade to slip. When her blue eyes meet those of Neverwhere's, the memory of terror still lingers there. Her expression is solemn, serious even which is so out of character for the laughing girl. She swallows unable to fully shake her memories. "Have you met a monster before Neverwhere? The scariest thing about them is that they can look no different than you or I."
The scent of Cernunnos as it still clung to Orani's skin as she shook from things Lilli still didn't know about it. The absolute and utter hatred that had glittered in Frostbane's eyes as he had looked at her parents, at Elaina. They weren't mythical beasts. Extraordinary perhaps. Maybe even godlike. They were fear made flesh, given a form just like theirs. That was what Lilli was afraid of.
"I hate the dark," she mutters in a rather un-Lilli like way. (Her voice, usually so lilting and clear, doesn't often come out muffled.)
Thankfully, Neverwhere changes the topic and Lilliana is happy to oblige. The silver mare might not be able to make out Lilli's gaze towards her, the way it softens and the way her smile comes, the way it lights up her features. "Of course." She is only happy to help, happy to be trusted enough to lead the way. Lilli lets her form linger next to the mare, lets her heat radiate and mingle with hers until Lilli steps forward, her steps deliberate and careful. She isn't sure how fast or slow she should be going but something in her tells her that Neverwhere will let her know if she is doing something wrong.
The path curves ahead, becoming narrow again and Lilli is careful in her approach. An ear is trained on Neverwhere and her blue keeps watch making sure to note where it turns, where a branch might reach across or a root sprawls out beneath them. "Careful," she calls back to the mare, looking over her shoulder. "There is rather an inconvenient root on the left side of the trail ahead." Lilli slows then, allowing Nevewhere the moment if she needs it to see her clearer in the shadow of the impending night. A smile quirks, curious about the small pieces of information that the silver mare shares about her life. "The desert huh? What was that like? Besides arid and dry," she is teasing again but the intrigue is there.
@[neverwhere] they should probably start picking out friendship bracelets