"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep, little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories, little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece
The first time she had felt what was now the familiar feeling of new life forming inside of her, she almost hadn’t dared to believe it. The idea that this was his baby was almost too good to be true, and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t completely elated at the idea. She loved Chryseis and Misfit, no matter how they had come to be, but there was something indescribable in knowing that this was a result of everything her and Ether had become.
Ever since their reconciliation, it was not often that she could be found away from his side, and now was no different. Even as the waves of pain coursed through her body, she stood alongside of him. The smoothness of her cheek lay pressed to his neck, as she closed her eyes and grit her teeth with each contraction that gripped her sides. When the intensity was finally too much, when she found herself having to fight to stand, she lowered herself to the ground with a heavy groan.
There is not the fear of the unknown such as when Chryseis had been born, and none of the emotional trauma that had surrounded Misfit’s conception and birth, but physically, this one was only marginally easier. There was something reassuring in knowing that Ether was there, even if she was too consumed by the task at hand to show it. She pushed and strained, her neck and flanks growing damp with her effort as she bit her lip against the cries of pain that built in her chest, with only a few strangled sounds emitted when it became truly unbearable.
It is with a final heave that the colt finally emerges, and for a moment she simply lays there, the ground torn from her struggle and her sides still panting as she fought to catch her breath. But the feel of the newborn shifting and moving stirs her to rise, dirt and debris clinging to her sides and mane as she stands on trembling legs. For just a moment, her eyes flicker to Ether’s face, and even through the exhaustion, there is something in her that glows when her lips brush across his cheek, before reaching down to tend to their newborn son.
She is surprised to find as she dries his small, shivering body that beneath the darkened dampness, his coat begins to lighten to the same roaned color as Chryseis. For a moment, she can feel her heart rise into her throat, because she knew it was impossible for this baby to belong to anyone except for Ether, even though she had expected him to be black. But when she looks once again to the colt’s face, and she finds herself getting lost in something about his eyes — not bright and yellow like his father’s, but still deep and soulful, like she could stare at them for eternity and still never find the bottom — she finds that all her doubts are erased. “What should we name him?” She asks quietly as the colt begins to attempt to get his spindly legs beneath him, her gaze tearing away from him only to look at Ether, and she feels as though her heart may explode at the sight of him and their new son, together. For the first time in her life, there was someone alongside of her that she loved just as much as the child she had just birthed, and she knows that she will never want it any other way.
BRISEIS
underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside, I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind
Golden eyes watching our every move Losing time without the sun or moon
Though he is already a father thrice over, he finds pregnancy not nearly so simple as he had thought. But then, he hadn’t known of the triplets until they had been birthed, and so he’d not witnessed their mother’s pregnancy. Perhaps it might have been different then though, because Faultline had never held his heart.
It’s foolish, he knows, to fret so over her. Women have been doing this for eons, and Briseis had managed this twice now before, without his aid either time (he should’ve been there the last time, had he not been so foolish. But, regrettably, he cannot change the past). Still, he finds himself hovering, remaining close to her side throughout. She does not seem to mind, fortunately. Indeed, she seems as keen to remain near him as he is to her. And so it is there he is to be found when the first ripples of pain foretell the impending birth of their child.
He remains quiet throughout the entire process, though he finds himself touching her often, his lips seeking the reassurance of her skin, so warm and alive. He finds himself admiring her strength and beauty. Even dampened with sweat and drawn with exhaustion, he finds her the loveliest thing he has ever seen.
Still, he cannot help but to worry. Had he known what a toll this would take on her, perhaps he might have taken more care. Of course, even he knows he hasn’t that kind of restraint. But the worried mind often conjures such foolish thoughts. Imagines the worst of scenarios and berates itself for the actions that had led them here, even as he gently smooths the sweat-dampened strands of hair from her forehead with tender lips.
The moment that small, wet bundle settles on the earth however, all such thoughts seem to immediately be forgotten. For a moment, he can only stare. But as the colt’s struggle stirs Briseis from her prone position, Ether is drawn back to reality.
“Briseis,” he whispers, placing a row of soft kisses along her neck, tasting the salt of sweat on her skin as she tends to their son. He drops his own muzzle to the boy, nosing curiously, affectionately, at the small forehead and damp tufts of his dark mane. As his fur dries, the shade lightens into a subtle blue. A color he easily recognizes, given how prevalent it has been through his siblings. A color he had once been himself, until the shadows had claimed him as their own. Unmistakably his.
Of course, it does not occur to him Briseis might be unaware of his claim to that particular hue.
Eyes bright, he turns to peer at Briseis, love shining from his golden gaze, so easily replacing worry and guilt. He brushes a soft kiss across her cheek, humming in response to her whispered question. Perhaps he should have considered such things before this moment, given it far more thought than he had.
“Blue?” he finally says, more question than suggestion. But then, he had never claimed to be particularly creative in his naming.
little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep, little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories, little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece
All the turmoil and pain that has been roiling inside of her ever since that night in the forest finally seems to have dissipated. It is a freeing feeling, to not be so weighed down by such heartache that she hadn’t realized she had been harboring. She doesn’t know if it’s the elation at the birth of her newest child, or if it is the reassuring feeling of Ether’s lips along her damp neck – a reminder that she isn’t alone, and that she isn’t going to have to do any of this alone again. The emotion that wells in her throat at the sight of him touching their son (their son – it still seemed too good to be true, and she would never stop marveling at how an accidental meeting had somehow led them to this) is nearly tangible, and she responds by brushing her muzzle along the slope of his shoulder. Even in a moment like this, she cannot stop touching him, and wants him closer.
The colt looked up at his parents with bleary, newborn eyes, trying to make sense of the two dark faces staring down at him. He recognized the soft, tender touches of his mother, instinctively, but it was the impossibly dark face of his father that he seemed fixated on. He stretches his own small muzzle forward when he reaches down to him, staring at his bright, golden eyes, and blowing a soft breath of air from his little nostrils.
Briseis leans into Ether’s touch, but her eyes remain on the colt, and she lowers her head to press her muzzle into his small side to steady him as he continues his struggle to stand. “Hmm,” She says in response to his name suggestion, tilting her head a little as she observes their son. He is standing now, legs splayed awkwardly, and she runs her muzzle gently across his blue-tinted back, careful to not knock him off balance. “I do like it, but…” She trails off, idly toying with the black curl’s of the colt’s mane. She had, of course, been thinking of names this entire time. She had been in denial much of her pregnancy with both Chryseis and Misfit, but this time, it had been different. Several names had been rolling around her head, but now that he was born, there were only a few that stuck out to her. “Do you like the name Torryn?” Her soft brown eyes lift to meet his golden gaze, and she can feel her heart skip in her chest, the way it always does when she looks at him. It didn’t seem like too long ago that her world had been plunged into darkness, but somehow, and ironically, the shadow-stallion had turned everything around, perhaps without realizing he was doing it.
BRISEIS
underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside, I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind
Golden eyes watching our every move Losing time without the sun or moon
This moment, this breathless span of time, feels more perfect and fragile than anything like this has a right to feel. He knows such moments are not designed to last, but he cannot help but hope that everything they are here and now would never change. That this moment and this feeling could expand into eternity, so that they might never have to leave such a perfect embrace.
It’s foolish, he knows, but he’s not ready to let go of it. Not yet. This is not a time for doubt or worry.
His son’s breath against his skin brings a smile to his lips, eyes glowing with such easy warmth and love. For all that they’ve only known each other but a few minutes, he feels as if he has loved him forever. And perhaps he has. Though he bears the hallmark blue of his lineage, Ether cannot help but see Briseis shining so brightly from their son too.
Lipping gently at the blue curls along his neck, he trails along shoulder and back, inspecting the boy, ensuring every inch is hale and healthy. Perfect. Just like his mother.
Lifting his head, he turns his eyes to Briseis as she responds carefully to his name suggestion. He chuckles softly when she trails off with the qualifying ‘but’. Even he has to admit he could have put more thought into the naming process before now, but truthfully, he had been far more concerned for Briseis. That their son be born whole and healthy is all he might have asked.
Leaning close, he trails a tender touch along her cheek, unable to keep himself from her for longer than a few moments. He muses over the name she had suggested, testing the syllables on his tongue before hiding a smile in the strands of her mane. “I think you have a much better knack for this than I do,” he replies, pressing a light kiss to her neck before dropping his head to their young son where he had just found his legs. “Torryn,” he murmurs over him, trying out the name and rather liking the way it sounds, “what do you think?”
little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep, little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories, little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece
She has never known happiness such as this, and there is a part of her that is terrified of it. Her memories before coming to Beqanna were still a black void; a giant blind spot that she couldn’t recall, except for her nightmares. Even then, it was but mere flickers (and for that, she was grateful). But something tells her that her past was better off exactly where she had left it. There had been a time that she had frustrated herself over and over in her effort to remember what had come before she had washed upon these shores. When she fought every night to see the face of her nightmares, to try and understand what she was running from.
Ether had eradicated everything.
Even when her nightmares had morphed into the stallion that lurked in the forest, Ether had effortlessly all but chased them away. He had turned into the key to her happiness, and she finds that she does not know how to move forward from here. To feel such an immeasurable level of peace as they both stood over their newborn son was a foreign feeling. She wants to cling to it, and shy from it all at once. But when her quiet brown eyes watch him, and see the way his own golden gaze has softened as his lips caress against the unsteady colt's back, she chooses to hold on. She would rather cling to whatever threads of happiness she found with him than waste a single moment doing otherwise.
By now, the colt was slightly more sure of his legs, having managed to feel his away along his mother’s side. His small tail flicked back and forth as he nursed, for now unaware – or just uncaring – of what his parents were doing.
The feel of Ether’s lips against her cheek and neck makes her heart somersault, but she responds to his statement with a light laugh. “I’ve been thinking about it for awhile. I suppose I could have ran some of my ideas by you first.” Her black lips trail against his cool skin, adding in a quiet, coy manner, “I guess we know better for next time.”
The blue colt pulled away, but not before haphazardly wiping the remnants of milk from his face on his mother’s black side. It reminded her of Misfit, and it caused a twinge in her chest; she rarely saw him anymore, but she knew he much preferred the company of Haunt than her, just as Chryseis had eventually outgrown her. It was hard to believe, she found herself thinking as she caressed her lips against the newborn’s cheek, that one day he wouldn’t need her, either. But now, the colt was looking up at his father, his small head tilted in concentration at the word they both kept saying. “T...Torryn,” He mimics, though it is clumsy and awkward on his newborn tongue. “Torryn,” He says again, still slow, but forming easier in his mouth. Satisfied, and with a sleepy smile on his face, he lowers himself to ground just below where his father stood. Being alive was exhausting, he has decided.
With careful steps, Briseis sidles herself alongside of Ether, cautious to not disturb their now sleeping son. She curls into him, as she has done so many times before, and she presses a kiss against his neck before resting her head against his shoulder. “I love you, Ether.” The hushed words are uttered against his skin, her eyes drifting closed in a rare moment of serenity. There was so much more that she could say, and somehow those three words don’t even seem to suffice.
BRISEIS
underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside, I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind
