"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
Golden eyes watching our every move Losing time without the sun or moon
For one sweet, perfect moment, he imagines the world can be made right between them. Imagines their sins could be erased and they could return to the magical perfection they had experienced that night so many months ago now. But he should know by now it was a foolish thought. A foolish dream.
With four simple words, he brings his own hope crashing down. It seems he can only shove his foot further into his mouth. He certainly couldn’t hope to change what had happened.
Each tear that tracks down her cheek sends a stab of pain arrowing straight through his heart. He wants nothing so much as to draw her close, to reassure her he would never leave again. But he is not certain he has that right. Not certain he ever had that right.
He can’t seem to help himself though. He presses closer, his lips coming to her cheek, pressing against her skin. As though that simple act could dam the tears as they fell. Could take them away, as though they never existed. He had never meant to hurt her, never would have wished such a thing. But still, somehow he had. His foolish, naive ineptitude had proven his own downfall.
Even now he’s not entirely certain he could find the right words to explain. To tell her how he had so wildly jumped to conclusions. To admit he’d been too hurt to ask for better explanations. He has never been good with words, never had deal with his emotions. He’s not certain he knows how to. But still, for her, he would try. Even if he failed miserably.
Drawing in a breath, he eases away, his eyes rising to peer uncertainly at her dark, tear-streaked features. “I…” he begins, before halting almost immediately, brows furrowing. “You…” He clears his throat before trying again. “You said… you’d made a mistake,” he finally manages to rasp out, his gaze dropping from hers. “I thought…” He takes a steadying breath then, reliving the painful memory. “The mistake… I thought it was me.” Pause. “That I was the mistake.”
He should say more, but how does he explain he had assumed she had regretted their night together? Even now, it pains him to remember that night. To remember how it had felt, how his heart had broken into a hundred pieces.
“I could…” He stiffens at the memory, remembering the moment he had understood why she had smelled different. “I could… smell… him,” he finally manages to stutter out. It’s not quite right. It hadn’t been him. Tunnel. His gaze flicks to the child now playing with his children. It had been her son. A son that had smelled of someone foreign. “I just… I assumed.” He closes his eyes then, not sure how to make it right. Not sure how to tell her he had foolishly thought she’d wanted to be with someone else. That he’d been oblivious to her pain. “I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry.”
little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep, little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories, little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece
She leans into the touch that he lays against her cheek, her lids closing over her tear-filled eyes. She craved his touch so deeply that even in the midst of her heartache, her body cannot help but to respond to the feel of his lips against her skin. The sigh that shudders from her lungs trembles with the last remnants of her hurt and anguish, the sudden swelling of emotion slowly beginning to ease away. She was still not accustomed to baring her feelings so openly; she has always been so quiet and reserved, but so many events have transpired in the recent months that has created surging waves in her once calm soul, until not even she was strong enough to keep them at bay.
He withdraws, and although it is tempting to follow, to reclaim some sort of contact, she refrains. Her cheeks are still damp from tears, and though her eyes still reflect every fragment of hurt that remains, she has managed to regain her composure. Enough to listen to him quietly, though she can see that he struggles to put his thoughts into words. But when his explanation comes, faltering and unsure, her mind slowly begins to place together the pieces of the broken puzzle, and when she does, she can feel her heart drop.
“Ether,” she doesn’t think she has ever felt sorrow quite like this, to realize that her own inability to explain things properly had been what led them to this; to know that he has spent all this time thinking he was a mistake to her. That he had been the monster she had met in the forest. She remembers everything she had said to him with such painful clarity, her own voice ringing in her ears, and now, she understands where she had gone wrong. She had essentially driven him away from her with every word she had uttered, and it is a wonder that he had even come back at all.
Her own mind is racing with so many things she wants to say, and yet she can’t seem to form them into coherent words. Instead, she moves forward, and she presses so closely into him as though she could convey what she felt through physical contact alone. With her delicate chest against his, and her heart thudding against his skin — as though every beat of it was trying to tell him, to explain to him the things she doesn’t know how to say — she finally says in her hushed voice, “Everything about that night — about you — was perfect.” Her black lips caress against his neck, the memories of that night once more finding their way to the forefront of her mind, as they so often did. “Never think that I didn’t want you.” The fact that he had ever thought otherwise was nearly incomprehensible; she knows he had felt everything that she had felt, but her own unskilled way of speaking had completely unraveled everything they had started to build. “I still want you. I’m...I’m yours,” It is said in almost disbelief, and complete sincerity all at once. Disbelief because she never thought it to be possible for her unusual heart to fit so perfectly with someone else, and yet somehow even in the middle of such tribulation, being with him is the closest she has come to feeling peace. “I could never be anyone else’s. Not after what I felt with you.”
BRISEIS
underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside, I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind
Golden eyes watching our every move Losing time without the sun or moon
The weight of his admission - of his own guilt - is nearly crushing, clinging so heavily that if he’d had need of breath he might not have been able to catch it. So much so that he is entirely unprepared for how swiftly she might forgive. How easily she might be willing to set aside their checkered past, to try all of this over again.
He blinks when she crushes herself against his chest, her skin so warm and vibrantly alive against his. Everything he’d dreamed of nearly every night since they had first met. Her voice had wrapped so softly, gently, around his name that he is not entirely sure he had heard it right. Even though he suddenly never wants to hear it spoken any other way.
He is still beneath her touch at first, almost disbelieving, but he has never had any hope against her. He is only a man, after all. The way her lips brush across his cheek, the soft whisper of her breathy voice on his skin, is irresistable. And her words are everything he’d imagined and never believed she would say.
Even if her admission about their night together had not been enough all on it’s own, the way she gives herself so freely, entirely without prompting, would have convinced him wholly. It’s foolish perhaps, to give oneself over to something so swiftly, so without thought, especially in the wake of everything they had just learned of each other. But then, Ether had never claimed not to be fool.
For her, he would be. Over and over again if he must.
Just like that, she wakes the primitive beast within his soul, the one he had always kept so well tamed. Until today. This time though, it is not righteous fury the stirs it, but an animalistic possessiveness. His eyes glow fiercely in the darkness of his features, his body pressing impossibly close to hers, lips brushing her skin as he scrapes his teeth from neck to shoulder. His teeth pinch, surprisingly gentle despite the abrupt ferocity of his demeanor. Everything in him demands he mark her as his, but even in this his tender regard wins out.
“Say it again,” he breathes, his voice almost harsh against her skin. He doesn’t know why, but he needs to hear her say it again. To say it a thousand times, until the whole world knows.
little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep, little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories, little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece
She has never been one to lean towards emotional tendencies, but he has always been able to draw them out of her. When she would normally be reserved and stoic, he somehow coaxed to the surface something far more tender and passionate, something that was tempestuous and beyond her control. Perhaps she was a fool, to forgive and forget so easily. But after he had sparked color in her otherwise black and white world, she found that she could not give him up; she could not risk losing him in any capacity, even if it meant letting go of every hurt and ache she had endured for the last several months.
His yellow eyes smolder against the pitch-darkness of his face, and her own dark brown ones remain sedate while they watch him, although something more fervent lingers beneath the surface. It alights when his teeth find her skin, and she does not retreat when he presses into her, the coolness of his shadowy skin fitting so perfectly into her warm curves. Her skin trembles in response to his touch, and even though his sharp teeth merely scratch the surface, the feeling it evokes permeates into her bones.
“Which part?” Comes her breathy murmur, her lips finding the flat of his cheek, and the groove of his throat. “That I’m yours?” She had never thought it to be possible. She had never imagined her mind, body, and soul could belong so wholly to another, and never did she think such an innocent encounter with the dark stallion with the golden eyes would turn into this. But she was his; irrevocably and completely his, and she wanted nothing more as to make sure that he knew it. That he knew just as well as she knew it. “Or that I still want you?” She wonders if he can feel it, the way the heat of anticipation and longing radiates off of her. If he can feel the way she quivers and melts beneath his touch, with her own lips still caressing and exploring his neck.
“I’m yours,” She is unwavering in her statement, but when her touch lingers along his jaw, there is something carnal and heavy when she says, “And I want you.”
BRISEIS
underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside, I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind
Golden eyes watching our every move Losing time without the sun or moon
For one breathless, eternal moment, he is entirely lost in anticipation. In the tense necessity of hearing her confirm everything she had already said. She couldn’t possibly know how much it meant to him, how badly he needed her admission, her surrender, to be real. It’s so surreal, that moment. As though it cannot possibly be reality.
But it is. And her soft words confirm it, giving him everything he hadn’t known he’d wanted. He takes it without question then, like a starving man to a buffet. Takes everything she has to offer him.
There would be no going back. Not this time. He wants those words indelibly stamped into her subconscious, reminding her over and over again that she is his. Only his.
It’s animalistic, in a way. Primal. But then, Ether had long ago reverted to the primal nature at the center of his soul, when he’d been swallowed by the shadows, the pieces of him bleeding out until only the Ether that stands before her today had been left. So perhaps it is not surprising then, that this is what they come to. That this is what he desires. What he demands of her. What he truly needs. The truth of the beast beneath the trappings of kindness.
“You’re mine,” he breathes against her, consciously this time. Parroting the surrender, as though either of them need reminding. Everything in him clamors for her, woken by her acquiescence, her submission. Every instinct tells him to claim her, to make her his in the only way that truly matters. Only one minute thread of rational thought holds him in check, reminding him of where they stand. Of the sleeping child so nearby.
It’s only a matter of steps to the deeper shadow. He presses her into them, lips coaxing, teasing, until he is able to draw the shadows around them. Just enough to shield them from prying eyes, to mute the sounds of Nerine into a gentle whisper.
Only then does he allow that last thread of thought to slip away, his lips becoming urgent on her skin, trailing her spine and hips ravenously. Wanting nothing so much as to touch every inch of her satin skin, so warm and alive, sensitive to every touch. Wanting only to feel her against him, needing him as much as he needs her.
little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep, little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories, little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece
Just like before, everything else slowly begins to fade away. She can still hear the faint sound of the children playing, and knowing that her son was still safe and nearby is the only thing that allows her to completely relinquish herself to him. She has always known that she would give him anything he wanted; anything he asked of her. Over and over, she would tell him everything he wanted and needed to hear. She had been drawn to him almost instantly, pulling her in in a way that no one else ever possibly could. From the beginning, she had realized that resisting him would be futile. The sparks between them had been born from something far more meaningful than simply lust and want; it was a need, something so intimate and fierce, that neither of them could deny it but hadn’t known how to recognize it, until now.
She sees it all now, clearly, and when he whispers his claim against her neck it sends her heart fluttering into her throat. “Yours,” she repeats, pressing more firmly against him. “Forever.”
She allows herself to be guided by him, his sweet touches sending a tremble throughout the full length of her body as she is pressed backwards into the shadows, until they once again wrap entirely around them. With the new protection of the total seclusion — gray light hardly filtering through, and her own thundering heartbeat drowning out any other sound she might have heard — she succumbs to him, completely. His hungry, explorative lips are only matched by her own, her black body entangled with the impossible pitch-dark of his own, and the two of them enshrouded by his shadows, lost in their own world. “Tell me that you are mine, too, just the way that I am yours,” It is a breathless whisper spoken into his neck, with a plea laced into the achingly longing words.
She can feel herself coming undone as his lips and teeth continue to caress and rake further back, down the length of her spine and across the slope of her slender hip. She had known that the first time had been something indescribable, but this was amplified by the notion that she knew what was coming. He would be able to see and feel the way she quivered in her want, and she can do nothing but to lean into and seek out his touch everywhere that he placed it.
BRISEIS
underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside, I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind
Golden eyes watching our every move Losing time without the sun or moon
Everything that had brought them here, to this moment, fades into whispers of the past. Of things over and ready to be forgotten. And in this moment, it’s so very easy to forget. To give in the ravenous need for each other and replace pain and hurt with something far, far better. Something so much more unforgettable. He wants that more than anything, and her words tell him she wants that too.
That is all he needs to hear. All he needs to know.
There would be no returning from this. No backing away from the promise of surrender and belonging. The primal beast within him would not (could not) allow it. It’s foolish perhaps. Entirely thoughtless and instinctual in a way these should not be. But he wouldn’t know how to undo everything that had been done, even if he wanted to.
He presses against her, reveling in the sweetness of her soft skin and the delightful heat of her body as she answers his need with a need of her own. His lips and teeth are hungry against her, eyes glowing a ferocious yellow as he claims every inch of her skin that he can reach. When her breathless plea reaches his ears, whispered so sweetly into his neck, something inside him snaps, delighting in the way she wants him just as he wants her.
“Yours,” he growls against her, his skin burning with each touch. With each word. “All yours.” He presses harder against her, lips tracing heated lines across her spine, her hips and flanks. “And you’re mine.”
The last is punctuated by his abrupt movement as he rises, pulling her beneath him. He thrusts hard, instinctively, claiming her in a way he had not before, not nearly as gentle as he ought to be. He might regret that later. Could only hope she would forgive him his wild, thoughtless instinct. But now, in this moment, only she matters. Making her his, feeling her beneath him, shuddering in pleasure of her own.
little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep, little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories, little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece
Perhaps she should be afraid of him. The feel of his heated and hungry touch against her should have evoked fear, or at least some sort of apprehension. But her immense trust in him overrides any and all other emotions, allowing him to erase anything negative that would have normally caused her to hesitate. She has never been trusting, having always been cautious of other’s motives, but for reasons beyond her comprehension, she has never feared him. Even when she had first met him, even when he had stayed melted into the shadows, something had drawn her to him.
For the first time since it happened, everything that had occurred that night in the forest with Tunnel is eradicated from her mind. There is nothing but the shadows that envelope them, nothing but the feel of Ether’s lips on her skin, and nothing but the sound of her heart beating wildly in her chest. His low response into her skin is the affirmation she needed, the reassurance that she was seeking. “Mine,” she whispers in response, and there is something possessive that is laced in the breathy softness of her voice, something that briefly flickers in the quiet of her brown eyes. They belonged only to each other; they could feel it without ever saying it aloud, but somehow hearing and saying the words cemented it.
She doesn’t resist when she is pulled underneath of him, but the strength with which he enters startles a gasp from her throat. If it had been anyone else, it would have been easy to mistake the passion for aggression. If he didn’t already have every ounce of her trust and loyalty, she perhaps would not have handled the vast difference in him as well as she did. But it’s him — not Tunnel, not anyone else. Just Ether. Her faith in him was unshakable, even when the predatory side of him so fiercely showed.
Her body fits against his as though it had been made for it, and she yields completely to his movements, her body trembling involuntarily beneath him, her breath quickening. “Ether,” she doesn’t notice when his name leaves her tongue, the way it is taut and aching when she says it, already so lost and spinning in the world he took her to. She wanted him, every part of him, and she doesn’t try to hide it.
BRISEIS
underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside, I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind
Golden eyes watching our every move Losing time without the sun or moon
He can feel her surrender, the way she gives herself over so completely. Giving him everything he had ever dreamt of. Almost immediately, he softens, the beast within him placated by such sweet surrender, but the gasp that escapes her lips as he claims her so brutally. By the way she claims him so easily in return.
He sinks deeper into her, a low growl rumbling through his chest as he seats himself fully inside her, making her entirely his. Erasing everything and everyone that had come before him. None of that matters anymore. All that matters now is that she is his, and he is hers. He would brand himself into every corner of her body and soul until she could never hope to forget him or his claim.
His lips trace tenderly along her spine, her shoulders and withers, a hot, breathless trail as he tastes the salt of her satin skin. So breathtakingly perfect. Everything in him wants to watch her pleasure, to feel her splinter apart beneath him and know that she had loved this just as much as he.
Slowly, he begins to move, rocking against her, losing himself in the rhythm, in the feel of her so warm and alive and deliciously responsive against him. Until it all becomes too much, coalescing into a bright pinnacle impossible to resist, dragging them both along. He becomes hard, more insistent, until he drives into her one last time with a low, rough moan. His teeth instinctively seek her flesh, the delectable curve of her withers, gripping possessively as he presses impossibly closer.
