"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
a dragon who couldn't be hurt on the outside could have so many ragged holes inside
Well. It’s safe to say he’s a fucking idiot, and that may be taken literally or figuratively, it’s both true. Or at least it was last fall, when emotional pain, hornones, and the need to prove the world he was still the same okay guy (spoiler alert, he wasn’t) as he had been before, all came together in regretful actions.
Regretful only after meeting a fairy, dying, and her showing him he still had Chryseis to care for. Her last words had been ‘children need their father’ and, talking in multiples like that, she had made it clear that Chryseis wasn’t the only seed that had been planted in the right season.
Oh, if only he knew there was more than one this year.
But he’ll find out. Eventually. Evading his own home, he did everything he could to evade most horses at all, also - though he could not help peeking around the meadow to see, this speing. So far nothing, which was good, and also bad, at the same time. Because he knew there must be at least one. But then, he had not seen any of the girls he had been with yet since their last meetings. So perhaps he should not be surprised. They probably avoided him as much as he had them. They were all too late to see he wasn’t a good life partner even though he might have kept up that façade. That he wanted someone else and took them instead, even if only for a day. A few hours.
The river then. He’d met them there had he not? At least, some of them. Perhaps they were still there. He hadn’t exactly searched well, around here. And he still needed to visit Chryseis in Hyaline, see how she was growing up. If only Thal wasn’t living there, too.
There’s some deep shit he suddenly finds himself in, he knows as he slowly strolls along the riverbank.
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@[Roseen] @[Thalassa] @[Jenova] any or all of you are welcome to make him miserable (but a separate thread for each is also fine! Just tag him anywhere in that case. But this could also be fun xD)
@[Briseis] uhm, while I’m at it, can join or stay home :)
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
I want to swim away but don't know how Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
She was heading towards Nerine next. Or so she thought. The poor mare didn’t really have any sense of direction. After her last encounter with Leilan in Ischia she just wandered, going nowhere in particular but not traveling very far from the stallion’s Kingdom. It was soon after said encounter that she had begun to realize a change within herself. A change that made her rather frightened of the uncertain future even more than she already had been. By now this change was obvious to all eyes around her with her swelling belly. Yes, she was pregnant. If the circumstances had been different she would’ve been excited about it, happy to have her first foal with a stallion she loved, and who loved her as well. But instead, here she was, frightened of having this foal, simply because of its father, Leilan.
For a while now she had suspicions that his heart wasn’t truly hers. Every smile he gave, every caress, every gentle word and that look in his eyes, oh that look in his eyes. It was a look that would make any mare swoon and feel like one in a million; it was a look of passion and love. But, every time he did any of those things, she felt like his reasons for doing them were because of someone else. He didn’t smile for her, nor were his sweet words and gentle touches for her. And his eyes...whenever he had that passionate and loving look in them, it always seemed as though he was looking at something past her, though they stared at her head on. It looked like he could see something, or someone, she couldn’t. Something that gave him that look of love. And whenever she tried to make sense of it all, she would always be reminded of Breckin. Nothing had happened between her and Leilan while they stood side by side before Roseen, but, there was enough to give her suspicions.
However, it was her own selfishness and desperateness that caused her to act the way she had. She was a fool for ignoring the doubts in her mind and getting with Leilan anyway. She hadn’t seen him since that night in Ischia, which of course made her wonder how he really felt about her. If he had truly had intentions of being her mate, wouldn’t he have stayed by her side afterwards instead of parting ways? She should’ve asked how he felt before anything else, so she wouldn’t be stuck in this predicament. What would he do when he learns about the foal? Would he even care?
She swallowed nervously, heart pounding, mind racing. But then, the unexpected happened. Just ahead of her was Leilan himself, as if her thoughts of him weren’t troubling enough. Taking a deep breath in attempt to calm her nerves, she forced a smile and ushered her legs onward.
“Hello, Leilan,” she greeted softly, sweetly. “What are you doing out here?”
With her daughter being a year old now, Briseis was falling back into her old ways. Her metallic blazed child was nothing like her; she was exhuberant and outgoing, willing to speak with almost anyone that would listen - and even those that didn’t. When she had been younger and dependent on her, it had forced Briseis to partake in conversations that she otherwise wouldn’t have. But now that the roan girl was old enough to be on her own most of the time, the black mare was melting once again into the shadows. She didn’t mind it, not like she used to. Beqanna was beginning to feel more like a home, and now when she patrolled the outskirts she didn’t feel like such an outsider. That longing she has felt, that empty lonliness she had been so desperate to fullfill, was beginning to fade away. The nightmares were also happening less frequently, but that didn’t put her at ease the way it should. Now, the flashbacks were happening in the daytime - a sudden tightening in her chest from the familiar squeeze of panic as her mind forced her to rewatch the fogged memories. There was nothing that triggered them; nothing that she could grasp, anyway. She had finally accepted that the sudden terrors were just something she would need to live with.
The spring sun felt warm on her back as she walked the familiar path to the river. It was her favorite place to go, since it was so close to Hyaline. While she used to travel for weeks at a time, she disliked being away from Chryseis for that long, and now she made sure she was always able to be back to Hyaline by nightfall. She is sure her daughter doesn’t care, but it puts her own mind at ease. Still, her wanderlust was insatiable. It amazed her that she was even still here. Even though she had no prior memories from before she washed ashore here, she has never been able to shake the restlessness from her bones. It brings her here again, across the flowered fields, the sounds of the river rushing over rocks singing across the hillsides.
She sees him, then, but the difference in him causes her to stop and blink. For a moment she simply stands there, wondering if her eyes had played tricks on her and it was perhaps just a horse that looked similar to Leilan. Without thought she begins to approach, a perplexed look upon her face, and she is so focused that she almost does not notice the bay mare also approaching until it is too late.
”Oh,” the word is a reflex from her surprise, but unfortunately it makes it now impossible to escape back to the shadows, unseen. She had stopped several feet from them once the other mare had arrived, but hearing his name had confirmed her suspicions. With the same look of confusion she looks to Leilan, an apology for interrupting dying on her lips as she tilts her delicate head, observing the scaling that laced his body. ”What happened to you?” The magic of Beqanna was still new to her; it was already hard enough for her to accept it, but now horses just suddenly changed as well? Cautiously she steps forward, her dark brown eyes settling for a moment on the mare that she does not know. Briseis is still clueless to how everyone else socializes and interprets their interactions with one another, and the idea that the other mare might actually have feelings for Leilan doesn’t cross her mind. Even though she shared a daughter with him, she remained emotionally detached. The first time she had been made aware that her and Leilan’s actions had the ability to hurt someone else was when she saw the look on Breckin’s face when she met Chryseis, by accident. It didn’t occur to the feral mustang mare that there were most likely others, since not everyone was as stoic as her.
briseis. you’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece
a dragon who couldn't be hurt on the outside could have so many ragged holes inside
Time had a funny way of catching up with him; it was a late winter or early spring day, and suddenly the sccent and -immediately also- voice of Roseen was there. Of all he had wronged last spring he honestly he had not really expected her here.
Swiveling his ears, he turns around to look at her. Himself, he has changed, but she had as well. A belly round, obviously with foal, but it does not yet occur to him through his thick hazy skull that it would not be Arthas’ baby. ”Roseen.” His tone is an indication that this probably will not be a light-hearted reunion; a bit dull hollow almost, because he knows he has hurt her or if she hadn’t realized yet, would do so now. His eyes gather a deep purple colour, a mix of the deep blue sadness he feels for her at her light tone, mixed with a pinkish colour of shame, it is the colour of regret, all in all. A colour he would carry more often for a while, probably. ”Aren’t you supposed to be in Loess? Or are you not with Arthas?” Slightly confused with a look at the roundness of her; he’d thought she had chosen to be Arthas’ herd mare after they had parted ways, since he cannot give her what she wants. But it seems that maybe she still has hope, for which he is most deeply sorry. He cannot love, he knows. At least, not anyone that isn’t Breckin, and since she doesn’t want him that is basically the same thing.
The scales that make up his brown-bronze face are new also, and that must be where the next question comes from although it is not the sooty bay asking. As he turns to look, it is Briseis - the first he had been with here in Beqanna, after the first breakup he had with Breckin; the first he knows has careied his child. ”Briseis, hi. I’ve eh.” he shakes his head, clealy having trouble with the switch of subject, since it’s such a heavy one. So very unlike him, usually. ”Well, I’ve been visiting the mountain.” Less regretful, while he looks at her and talks about the changes, his eyes slowly take on the icy colour of before. Though it won’t last long, probably. ”Never challenge the fairies.” he emphasizes with a half-smile. ”How’s Chryseis doing?” he informs then. It will be his doom or maybe Roseen’s but, he doesn’t want to ignore his only daughter. She may not be harmed by or held responsible for anything he did, after all. And perhaps she can learn from his mistakes. That’d be the only good thing coming from him then; his child.
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@[Roseen] @[Briseis] I thiiink this might be before he finally talks to Breckin but I don’t know honestly :/
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
I want to swim away but don't know how Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
She kept a smile on her features, even though it turned more sheepish by his question. Her eyes averted from his, an action that was soon followed by a question of her own, “Why would I be with him?” It was true that when she had visited Loess there had been something between her and the dappled gray, though brief it was. It had been more clear to her that he was a stallion who liked to get around with many mares the more she spent time with him. And that wasn’t something she wanted to be a part of, so naturally she left Loess. Leilan, however, was not so obvious about his flirtatious nature. His kindness and interest in her had seemed genuine, which is why she had fallen for him so hard. But unbeknownst to her, what she saw was nothing more than a pretty mask embedded with gold and jewels.
Then, another mare showed. Roseen took a step back so the two could speak, patiently waiting for her turn. But she couldn’t help listening to the mare’s words, and it was only then that she noticed how much Leilan had changed. She took in his new appearance with her head tilted. He had scales on his body, and even his eyes looked different. Silently she asked the same question the other mare had: What happened to him? Surely she would soon find out, so she then turned her attention to the mare.
Leilan spoke her name, mentioned a mountain and a fairy, then asked about what she could only assume was someone else. For a moment she wondered who Briseis was, and what her relationship with Leilan was like. Perhaps they were just good friends. Yeah, best not assume the worst just yet, despite the sinking feeling she had in her gut that was gradually growing.
And somehow, she managed to smile through it all. Completely oblivious to what was coming.
ROSEEN
a nomad
@[Leilan] @[Briseis] It’s fine :3 Sorry this is so short. My brain has failed me again *0*
Something didn’t feel right to her. While she couldn’t claim to know Leilan incredibly well, despite their intimicy, he was perhaps the only horse in all of Beqanna that she could say she knew beyond the acquaintance level. It wasn’t just the new scales and other difference in appearance - she saw the way his eyes had changed color, but something about the air that hung around him felt tense and heavy; neither of which were words she would ever use to describe him. There is a look of skepticism on her face at his mention of mountains and fairies, her brow elevating in response. ”The fairies did this?” She still was not sure of Beqanna magic. Some days she still wasn’t even sure that this place was real, and not something her tattered mind had conjured up as a way to deal with the nightmares and day terrors.
But he changes the subject, and hesitantly she follows suit, although she cannot help but to smile at the mention of their bold and beautiful daughter. ”Chryseis is doing wonderful. She still hasn’t slowed down a second.” A wisp of a smile pulls at the edge of her black lips, a hint of humor riding the lyrics of her words as she says, ”She takes after you, mostly. I haven’t decided if that’s good or bad.” She touches her muzzle gently to his shoulder, only for a brief second, her gaze lingering over his own pensive stare as she asks, ”Did the fairies change more than just your appearance? You seem...sad.” She isn’t really sure how else to say it, and so she just says it, quite plainly.
Her dark eyes shift to the bay mare, and she lowers her head apologetically as she says, ”Sorry if I interrupted anything. My name is Briseis, of Hyaline.” Without staring, she cannot help but to notice the telling roundness to her barrel, something that Briseis had endured just last year. She is not one to jump to conclusions, however, since there are far more stallions in Beqanna than just Leilan. If she was more aware of social cues she might have picked up on the way the other mare looked at him, or perhaps the slight tension that seemed to have settled between the bay mare and the stallion, but she remains ignorant.
briseis. you’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece
a dragon who couldn't be hurt on the outside could have so many ragged holes inside
Roseen seems puzzled, as if he was supposed to know everything about her and her life, and her feelings. For a moment, it seems as though he wants to ask her something, then he shrugs it off. "I just had that impression. But I guess you're not in love, then." he tells her. Because honestly, if she was, then she would not have reacted like this. Then she probably would not even be here or if she was, accidentally, around here then she would have had that sparkle in her eye when he inquired about him, if she was, then she wouldn't have minded about the other mares. Which he honestly, had tried to warn her about way back then in the field.
But whatever it is that seems to hang in the air between them, that he doesn't know about, he's too stupid to grasp at it. She's still smiling, and Briseis is asking a question, so he turns his head to look at the black mare. "I'm not entirely sure. There was a Kelpie bite involved also, so perhaps it's just coincidence and there has been some latent genetic potential somewhere." He seems puzzled by his own answer - he is still puzzled by it, but as he looks at Briseis again he shakes his head. "It's magic. Fickle as a flame. I really couldn't tell you exactly what caused it, but it's probably a combination of things, for such things to happen." After all, last time he'd changed, the only other time, it had been him consciously winning a prize.
She tells him about Chryseis not slowing down, and he can't help but mirror that smile of her, a bit mischievously so, even. "I had an inkling. I should visit more often." he adds, and as she gently touches him he can't help but nudge her with a shoulder like he would have any friend (though mostly male friends, he supposes - but that's what she has become, a friend he cares about, as he still hopes Roseen will be too). His smile falters at her remark of seeming sad, and he turns away, but since that puts him right back at seeing Roseen, it doesn't help much with the restraint look.
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@[Roseen] @[Briseis]
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
She wasn’t sure why he had thought she was in love with Arthas and expected her to stay with him in Loess. Yes, she had a crush on him when she met him, which was when Leilan was around so it was no surprise he’d be able to tell. But what she had felt for Arthas wasn’t what she felt for Leilan. I love you Leilan, she thought to herself, as if that would tell him why she wasn’t with Arthas.
But as his conversation with Briseis continued, her heart slowly tightened. She practically ignored the subject of fairies, for she had no idea what they were, nor did she understand what was being said about them. Instead, she listened with her ears forward and tall as they talked about Chryseis. She didn’t know who they were, but they talked as if they were a friend or relative of the stallion and mare. But Briseis’ remark on how Chryseis takes after Leilan made Roseen’s heart drop. That sounded like something a parent would say about their child. And then Briseis stepped closer to press her muzzle to his shoulder. Roseen’s brows furrowed a little, the worry growing in her chest showing in her dark eyes. What was his relationship with Briseis exactly?
Now she was finally beginning to realize that something wasn’t right. Leilan’s behavior was a little odd, even though she had not caught the change in his eyes. And the fact that Briseis asked if he was sad only showed she wasn’t the only one who felt the awkwardness in the air. She turned her head to look at him straight on after Briseis’ question, her heart beginning to thump anxiously. He turns away from the mare without answering the question, but only seemed to look at Roseen as a result. He was hiding something. Normally she wouldn’t pry after one had already refused to answer a question, but the ever growing fear in her heart made her want to know more. Perhaps it had something to do with his visit to the mountain and the changes he had gone through. Somehow, even though her gut gave her a bad feeling, the idea of Leilan being with another mare didn’t come to mind. With Arthas, that kind of thing was no surprise. But Leilan? Him being disloyal and just as much of a player as Arthas seemed like nothing more than a fantasy to Roseen. Well, besides her suspicions about his feelings towards Breckin. Unfortunately, that only showed how foolish she truly was.
She turned her attention to the black mare when she apologized and introduced herself, to which she gave a friendly smile in return, though slightly forced. “I had only just ran into him moments before you came. You didn’t interrupt anything,” she replied reassuringly. “I’m Roseen, just a wanderer at the moment.” She had surprised herself by how well she managed the introduction; must’ve been her first without a single stutter. But her mind was preoccupied with other thoughts. Meeting the mare was nice and all, but right now she wanted to know what was wrong with Leilan.
“So...um...are you a friend of his? I haven’t met many of his friends other than Arthas and Breckin,” she smiled a little sheepishly with a chuckle to match, her stutter returning.
even if you feel all alone, it can’t rain everyday, it don’t rain forever
@[Leilan] @[Briseis] This one isn’t so good. Sorry about that >.<
”A...kelpie bite?” Just when she thought she was getting this place figured out, she was wrong. She isn’t entirely sure what a kelpie was, seeing as that was certainly not something she had grown up with, but if it had the power to create scales across a horse’s body, maybe it was not something she wanted to run into. She is still eyeing him skeptically, but when he shrugs off the topic she decides to allow it to slide. She seems to be the only one in Beqanna that didn’t understand its magic, and also the only one not worried by its very existence. If something so powerful existed that it could lavish all these gifts, couldn’t to also strip everything away, or punish you with something? The thought made her uneasy, but she supposes by living her quiet life she has done nothing to displease the fairies so far; she was still her plain self.
Her black head nods at his words, that same smile lifting at the corners of her lips as she agrees, ”She would love that. I’m sure she misses you.” Chryseis had been giddy with excitement for weeks after first meeting her father, and it made Briseis’ heart happy to know that fate had intervened and had the three of them run into each other that day. Otherwise the quiet and shy mare very likely would have never told the metallic blazed filly who her father was.
With her attention now on Roseen, her mud-brown eyes settle on the mare’s face. She seemed uneasy, or nervous, and Briseis can not pinpoint why. But when she asks if she is a friend of Leilan’s, she stiffens. She is brought back to the day along Hyaline’s shores, when her and Chryseis had run into Breckin. She remembered the way the spotted mare had stared at Chryseis, focusing on the golden metallic blaze, and the almost melancholy tone of her voice when she had asked, do you know Leilan? Despire her naivety, she has managed to put all the pieces together. Breckin had feelings for Leilan, and running across a daughter of his had been unexpected. Roseen’s question was poised in much the same way, and while Briseis was aware of wanting to spare her feelings, she was also not wired in such a way that allowed her to lie.
She steals a sideways glance to scaled stallion, before flitting her gaze back to the bay mare’s. ”I’ve known a Leilan for awhile, now. We have a daughter together.” The words leave her mouth carefully, as though if she believed the gentler she delivered them, it would somehow ease the blow. That is, if she was reading the situation correctly, and it’s not exactly a secret that socialization is not her strength.
briseis. you’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece
a dragon who couldn't be hurt on the outside could have so many ragged holes inside
Roseen is being odd - at least as far as he can tell. She doesn’t say anything about Arthas any more which makes him wonder if it his the grey man’s child she carries and had a falling out after conceiving it. Much like he had never really spoken to her either since - well whatever. If she didn’t want to talk about it he supposed it wasn’t that important; if she had even a suspicion there was a chance it was his child then she would have said something by now. Right? Right. So it clearly wasn’t.
His hiding then, has nothing much to do with the nights he spent with both of them. Moreso with what followed; his trip to the mountain hadn’t exactly been with an intent to return, the Kelpie bite had involved a drowning. But it has mostly to do with the guilt he feels. For blaming Breckin, in a way. For being so angry with her because he was so hurt. And okay - he is also guilty of not telling Roseen that love is something beyond his grasp, and she shouldn’t get her hopes up - that he gave away his heart to a mare who doesn’t want him, and that without it he just doesn’t function as well. But that he’s on his way to ask her what she wants to do with that heart, now that she has it. And that Roseen was just unfortunate enough to be his friend with whom he would have wanted to try and move on, but that he realized that all he wanted, just wasn’t her.
But he says nothing, as the two of them converse. At the bay mare’s question, he starts with ”I like to think so -” but Briseis already tells Roseen of the fact that they have a daughter, so he just nods. Sure. No denying that. And why would he? Roseen is carrying someone else’s child; so she probably knows how those things work - that sometimes it only takes a moment to put an unintended child on the world, but that they make the best of it anyway. He looks sideways at Briseis; wondering why her last words had been so soft and careful.
Clearly, he’s the one not reading the situation correctly.
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@[Roseen] @[Briseis]
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
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