"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
I had a dream that we were dead and we pretended that we still lived
He remembers the rumbling and shifting of the earth, the way they had been snatched from their homes, their slumber or activity, and dragged to the newly crafted mountain to face judgement. He remembers the way it had felt, that magic, coursing through him and stripping nearly all that had made him unique.
In one sense, it had been a blessing. He is no longer an undead thing. His flesh is plump and full, not stretched tautly over protruding bones. His skin is soft and sleek, the black shiny with health and the gold shimmering even in the faintest of lights. No longer is his hair patchy and dull, lifeless in the way that undead things are. And his eyes, they are a pale shade of amber, not milky blue with death. In that respect, the entire trial had been quite worth it.
But gone is his gift of healing, his ability to bend the light to suit his whims. These losses ache, as though a limb had been removed.
A curse and blessing, this dramatic shifting change that had swept Beqanna. Especially for him. Jinn, the cursed and dichotomous son of an angel and a saint.
But at least now he knows what it is to be normal. It had been so very odd at first, but he has grown accustomed to it now. It has settled upon him like a plain cloak, old and comfortable. He does not terribly mind being plain after all.
So it is here, in the forest that plain, normal Jinn now resides. Where he takes slow, meandering walks through trees and leisurely naps in warm sunlight. His young life had been tumultuous enough. He deserves this. He deserves today, a time when he lean casually against a large oak in the midst of the riotous summer forest, eyes half closed in the way only those with no responsibilities can manage.
The forest had become something like a second home to her. Not that she didn’t like the Taiga anymore, it was where here family lived and that made it home, but at the same time it was different. Different than from before. Perhaps it was because she had been away, or perhaps it was because she had gotten older. She just felt awkward there, like a stranger in her own home. The forest had been much more inviting. So Jinju had found her way there again, just waving through the trees.
It is like that that she runs into him. His coat is black with a dazzling gold. It wasn’t the first time that she saw such vibrant colors on one’s coat, but never before like this. Her own eyes were red like rubies and her father’s appaloosa spots were purple, her sister had blue and her mother green. She had even seen the gold before, but Lilitha had only had golden eyes and mane red. He interests her just like that, and the sudden desire to get to know him better hits her like it had never before.
For a moment she just stands there, staring at him, mouth almost agape. With her ears perked forward Jinju blinks a few times, lips parting to say something, only to close her mouth again soon after. Which repeats itself a few times before she manages to get something out. ”Uh.. Hi?”
The way her voice sound, the sudden crack and softness, it surprises her. She had never been loud, nor demanding, but it had been a while since she had last felt this shy and insecure. Instantly she missed the presence of her father, to hide at his side again, though at the same time she’s glad he isn’t here. He probably wouldn’t have liked to see her like this.
I had a dream that we were dead and we pretended that we still lived
He tries not to linger too much on the before. It is too painful, thinking of what had once been. Thinking of the sad and tumultuous beginnings of his life. His father had reviled him, believing him cursed. Or a curse upon him. His mother, sweet, kind thing that she was, had loved him regardless. But for whatever reason, it is always the disgust that filled his father’s eyes that stayed with him, that haunted his dreams.
There is more, but he does not care to dwell. Not with the world so peaceful and quiet. So very perfect in the absence of the past.
Here, he can pretend. He can simply exist like so many others. Another tiny cog in a vast machine. He can wile away his afternoons and make new memories of peace and slumber. Oh, sometimes he misses his family. His mother, his twin, the only two pieces of his life that had been good. They have disappeared, and he often wonders where. Often considers finding them, if only he knew where to look.
Perhaps it is time for new memories though. Perhaps this world would be kinder to him than the last.
As it happens, it seems he does not have to look far for company. Just as he is straightening, golden eyes opening, intent in their depths, he is startled by a feminine voice. He glances towards the source of that sound, eyes catching on the solid black form of a young mare standing only a short distance from him.
He offers her a small, friendly smile, a bit chagrined at having been caught so off guard. ”Hello,” he responds, deep voice rusty with disuse. He shifts a bit, golden limbs glinting in a stray shaft of sunlight. He still sometimes catches himself by surprise, he had been so accustomed to his deathly, bony frame that this sleek, filled out one still feels a bit like a stranger’s sometimes.
”I’m not in your way, am I?” He asks the question a bit hesitantly before recognizing the silliness of it. Of course he wasn’t in the way, there are a million ways to get around him after all. Feeling rather chagrined once more, he offers a hopeful introduction, thinking perhaps she would stay. ”I’m Jinn.”
Sometimes not only the past hurt. The now could hurt as well, just as the thought of what the future might be like. She had fled her home – even though she loved it – to get away from that what caused her heart to ache. It also helped her to not worry about what the future might bring. And instead of aching, her heart is strangely skipping a beat as it hammers in her chest. Her prior worries are long off her mind too, not even tucked away on purpose, Jinju had simply forgotten about them. Could you blame her?
She feels even more flustered as he appears to be startled by her and for a moment, she’s afraid he’ll get mad at her for sneaking up to him like this. Even though she hadn’t tried to hide the fact that she was approaching. Perhaps Ruan’s lessons about the way of the wolf had paid off after all. As he greets her back she breaths again, only then realising that she had been holding her breath. The smile Jinju offers in return is a shy one, almost sheepish, but genuine and wide.
Her ruby eyes move towards his legs, which shimmer in the sunlight, making her gasp softly. ”Beautiful..” she mumbles, not realising that she had said it out loud. Yes she had seen the gold before, but never before had she seen it sparkle like this. Simply stunning.
His voice, however, pulls her attention back up. Caught in the act. A bit ashamed she casts her gaze down, shyly, and soon shaking her head. ”Oh, no no. You’re not..” she answers, a bit too quick. ”I.. I’m sorry I startled you..” she mumbles, now carefully glancing up with a smile, hoping that he perhaps would stay. He doesn’t send her away, nor he walks away, so little by little she straightens up again, still smiling. ”Nice to meet you, Jinn. My name is Jinju.”
Her eyes twinkle in delight as she meets his gaze and Jinju has trouble keeping herself to stand calmly. She was so close to bouncing around, nearing him, touching him. But most of all, the fire burned warmly inside her. Reacting to the tingling feeling in her stomach and the warmth in her heart, but also the desire to come and play. ”C-can I?” she asks, though doesn’t give him time to answer. She has answered, right? So it should be fine. Carefully she lets the flames dance around him, never too close and making sure that it wouldn’t scorch Jinn’s skin, but enough to make the pretty gold sparkle in the light she created.
I had a dream that we were dead and we pretended that we still lived
Perhaps it is fortunate that he is alone. Loneliness hurts, but it is a dull ache compared to that of rejection. He would hundred times rather suffer the pangs of loneliness over the stabbing of unacceptance.
But time makes all memories dim, even painful ones. To the point where loneliness is indeed more painful than anything he had experienced before, even if it normally cannot compare. It would be his eternal downfall, apparently. A vicious cycle, unless someone, someday, could see past the monstrosity of his skin to the heart of the healer beneath.
Fortunately that all seems to be behind him for the moment. Perhaps not forever, but for the time being, he can forget.
And perhaps this young woman is just what he needs to do so. The day might come where she would reject him too, but it does not bear consideration. Not today.
If he could have blushed, his cheeks would be bright red. No one has ever called him beautiful before, not even his mother. He never had been beautiful before. Shaking his head, he allows the shimmering strands of his forelock to cover the sheepishness of his eyes.
Shaking his head again, he hurries to say, ”It's ok. You didn't, not really.” He cuts himself off before he starts babbling, because lord knows he would.
”It's nice to meet you too, Jinju.” He offers the words with a smile, this one warm and true, no chagrin or sheepishness in evidence. Before he can continue, she is stepping nearer, her question confusing him for a moment. He has no clue what she is asking permission for until the flames begin to dance around his limbs, causing the gold to glimmer in the light.
”Oh” is all he says, glancing down in surprise at the rather unexpected act. But then a smile blooms, and his golden gaze shifts to find here's. ”That's a neat trick.”
Had he his light, he would light up the world to show her what she wished. Unfortunately, his blessings had been stripped right along with his curse.
”Beautiful.” Without realising it she had said it again, repeated the word that described how he looked to her. Her fire brought the same shimmer up his legs as the sun had done, perhaps with a reddish glow, but not less stunning. It aren’t only his legs though. Mane, tail, the tips of ears and his muzzle. For a moment Jinju can only stare at him in awe, mouth almost falling open. The most beautiful, however, are his eyes. A beautiful golden gaze. It had been a while since she had last seen such warmth in one’s eyes. And the black girl didn’t want it to end.
Her own smile is a shy one, genuine, but shy. Had she really just called him beautiful twice? Mentally facepalming herself she glances up at him, hoping to not see disgust in his eyes. She finds a smile, and that makes Jinju smile in return. ”It’s nothing..” she answers softly, shaking her head a little. It was just a trick, nothing more, nothing less. And absolutely nothing compared to what her mother could do. And even her father’s ice was more impressive.
Her gaze falters on the thought of that. She’s sad, disappointed and upset with him. Perhaps even angry, but as soon as the anger had appeared, it disappears again. Sighing softly Jinju shakes her head, as to ban those thoughts out of her mind. She didn’t want to think about it, especially not now. Jinn was much more interesting. And all thoughts about him much more pleasant. ”Do you come here often? I.. haven’t seen you here before?” she asks. Not to just keep the small talk going, but because she’s genuinely interested. And she wanted to know where she could find him again.
