and let me crawl inside your veins. I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.
She has been incredibly subdued as of late. It was out of character for her, even if she was prone to occasional moments of kindness; those that she truly loved were no strangers to it. She was not always all sharp edges and even sharper words, but she was beginning to find that cordiality does not fit as well as sin does. In the unexpected peace that had befallen her life, she found that it gave her far too much time trapped inside her own mind, and as usual, she hated what she found.
There, in the quiet of the dawn, the cold fingers of every recent transgression slowly began to creep, prodding at her tranquility, forcing her to recognize it. She thinks of the countless children that bear such a striking resemblance to the one that claimed to love her – the one who she had saved without even a second thought on the battlefield of Tephra, and almost bitterly she wonders if Ophanim would even do the same for her. Certainly he would – just as he likely would for every harlot he decided to make his for a night, too. He was far kinder than her. It couldn’t even be argued that they balanced each other out – her ferocity outweighed his amiability, several times over. He deserved better, and it was no wonder he always found it.
She thinks then of the autumn-blaze of the Sylvan forest, and how Vadar had fooled her into caring just long enough to get what he wanted from her. Karma, is what they called that, but it didn’t change the way it bred humiliation and hurt in the deepest corners of her heart. If she had to guess anyone that would one day force her own medicine down her throat, he would have been nowhere near the top of the list.
Along the banks of the river is where she stands, the constellation of stars across her sides glowing vibrantly in the dark as she stares intently at the rushing water. She can see the faintest glow on the horizon, but she is paying little attention to the coming day. Instead, she is engrossed in her own thoughts, examining and turning each one, until the negativity has stoked the ember into a slow-burning, loathing flame.
starsin
it’s not like me to be so mean. you’re all I wanted.
( just let me hold you Like a hostage. )
SAMANTHA, this one is 4 u.
