the firestarters always get the burns
and the good guys never get the girl
She’s a first-class idiot, that she is. First, for falling for the guys she should not be near, then, for seeking one of those guys out (the wrong one, she should have picked the other one at the time) and not recognizing that he was never there for her personality but for her looks, and third, for letting him get under skin once more. For calling him names and that it front of another, who could have been a friend had she handled things differently.
She’s pacing, chastising herself. She’s still angry with Arty, although the explosion of emotinos and words had drained her now. If she ever saw him again, she hopes she can handle it better. Perhaps ignore him for now. Yes. Pretend he’s nonexistent.
Outwardly she has calmed pretty well. Pawing at the riverbank, she knows that she is not calm enough yet. She needs to tell Llowell what happened today. She has no other opportunity, because sooner or later she knows that Arithmetic will get to him, talk to him, tell him the tell-tale fairy tale he’s spun for his own mind so as not to have to feel guilty about any of it. But in this state of mind of hers, she cannot go home yet.
Home! Oh, she can’t tell Kag about his whereabouts. She’d set out to murder him, and make a fool of herself just as Ilma had. Or Solace - her mind too occupied with kingdom matters, she should not be worried about any of this. Svedka then - she can’t ever tell him. She did tell him what Arithmetic had done back then, a year ago, and she’d felt him tense. No idea where that would go but, he shouldn’t be angry, doesn’t become him well.
Much like herself.
She stops and sighs. She can’t go back yet, she concludes over and over again. She’ll spend the night here if need be. It’s winter, but, no place is ever as cold as Hyaline in winter, so she will be quite okay.
Sortof.
@[Nymf] if you want. She could use a friend right about now I think. (: