[private] Out with the golden we sew // Solace/Ilma/Svedka

[Kagerus]

kagerus

as dreams are to the sleeper, so am I to you

Enough fooling around.
(Fooling around being the key words; Solace did taste good on your lips with her thighs around your ears, hmm? And Svedka - lord, if those little pricks of guilt hadn't gotten in the way of you two fucking... But. Loyalty to the Queen, am-I-right?)
Actually shut the fuck up okay? I'm trying to get my shit together and you don't get to diss me for that.
(Oh, but you get to go on acting like you didn't try to commit suicide? Or, y'know, have a kid? Riiight. That makes total sense.)
I'll fucking kill you.
(You tried already. But I'm down for round two.)
Grrr...

Night has just fallen, and the full moon slowly climbs to the center of the sky. I've been roaming across Hyaline today, finding specific ears to murmur words into before departing to find the others. In all, I've invited three to meet with me tonight, to hear what I have to say; the three that are the foundation that Hyaline depends upon. Solace, the caretaker; Svedka, the heart; and Ilma, the untitled but greatly deserving. The last I have not spoken to in months, since when I'd been pregnant and told her of my doomsday... But I do not let on anything in the minute I spend inviting her, a little shamefaced at the brusqueness I must show her.

I am at the foot of the northernmost mountain, tucked away in a glade of weeping willow trees that I've come to affectionately term The Fronds. The wind gently pushes the lanky leaves around me like water, and as I wait for them to come, I allow myself to lose myself to the other-worldly sensation. Night air, arms of the willow, a moon above; if it weren't for the roiling changes overtaking Beqanna, I could almost say that tonight was peaceful.

They trickle to me nearly at the same time, and for this I am glad. With everything I've done this past month - ahem, who I've done - things may get a little sticky here. My nutmeg eyes flash gratefully to Ilma, the mare who will hopefully keep this meeting from getting into a weird three-way type situation - or worse yet, one where everyone just yells at each other over my own stupidity and whoreishness.

I glance from Solace to Svedka, not knowing whether to say something to break the ice or to just let it be; but I frown, and remind myself that this is about politics. Mostly, anyway.

"Thanks for coming," I murmur, figuring that to start right away will be easiest on all of us. "I know that I've been... Eccentric lately, to say the least. And that, to your knowledge, I ought to be dead now. And you would be correct in that assumption; I should be dead now. But just before spring came last year, Ilma gave me an idea... And I used her idea to bypass giving birth to my child. I dreamt it differently... And now I am still here." My eyes go heavily to the alabaster mare, and then to Solace, who'd been the one to hold me the night I told her I would die. "I gave life to a son, Abysm, but I am not his mother. This reality has left me... Well, you've witnessed how it's left me." My tones now come clipped and hard, ears pressing back as I balk at the thought of talking about my suicide attempt. No. Fuck that.

I take a deep breath before continuing. "But there's more than just that. Earlier this year, Nerine's Queen, Hestia, came to me and begged me to help her find her children. We knew each other from the field, as well as from the Games; and I had just given bir - Abysm had come into this world, and I was slightly mad, and more exhausted than I ever remember being before. I hadn't the will power to turn her away. So, I brought her to where she might find some answers, but... What we found was not her children."

"A demon fought its way into my dream, and impregnated Hestia with itself. I couldn't fight it. By the time we awoke, it was too late; Hestia was in labour. She promised me a favour for what I did, and I haven't a clue what to demand - but she forced me to do something disgusting, to witness and birth it, and for that I certainly will demand a favour when the time comes. Whether it be for Hyaline or for myself personally is yet to be seen; but this is a secret that only I and whoever has met the demon know of. I fear that I may be endangering myself by telling you this..." My eyes flash between the three of them darkly. "But I owe my fealty to this kingdom, and that is my foremost care now."

I clear my throat, feeling as though I have spoken enough for a fortnite's worth of meetings; but I have yet more to cover, and I know that they can tell by the silence that comes when my eyes go to theirs again. "And lastly. I've been considering my position as ambassador, and the idea that came to me is this: I believe that Ilma should be ambassador. She is in a far more emotionally stable place than I, and has proven herself to be a priceless asset to Hyaline." I dip my head to her, and turn to the only stallion present. "Svedka is of course still the Heart; an advisor, if you will."

I turn now to Solace, ignoring the awkwardness of having to address them both despite having, well, slept with them both - or nearly, anyway. "So Solace, if you'll have me, I'd like to take up the role of General. I have experience now with the Alliance, and frankly, the dirtier, darker work of role appeals to me far more than diplomacy. I will still continue to recruit and to do your political biddings; but I feel called to form and shape Hyaline's army. For changes are coming in Beqanna, and we must be ready."

At long last, I have said what I needed to. Lips falling into a hard line, I settle into the willow fronds, expectant for their answers.