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fault lines tremble underneath my glass house; shah - Ilka - 12-28-2015 Ilka had long since abandoned the Gates. The last time she had been there was when the kingdom had still been rebuilding, finding order in the chaos that seemed to drown them in shadow and grief. It had been when Ledger shifted suddenly into a polar bear and his claws had buried themselves in the skin down her neck and across her chest. Even now after so much time, the scars were still narrow streaks of puckered pink skin buried in the satin black of her dark fur. It had been a very long time since the wound had actually hurt, but sometimes she still woke from a dream, gasping as a pair of white clawed feet carved her heart out of her chest. ILKA makai x oksana RE: fault lines tremble underneath my glass house; shah - Shahrizai - 12-29-2015 All things are possible, even the worst of things. He is a failure. So much of his life has consisted of one failure after another. He had blithely continued on through his life, oblivious to those he had left behind, happy to be simply content. But then everything had changed, his entire life had been turned upside down, the innumerate failures shoved in his face like a gauntlet. Only he hadn’t taken up that challenge, he had fled. Like a bird before a windstorm, he had simply run away and hidden. And even his once famous affable determination cannot save him now. The only thing he hasn’t left yet, hasn’t failed, is the Deserts. His chosen home. Even in the face of his torments and fears, he had forced himself to return. Forced himself to face the demons he knew were waiting there, only to find the demons nonexistent. This had surprised him. Heartened him, even as it worried him. What if everything he thought he knew had been a lie? But he refuses to think of that now. He simply cannot. Not when he is finally, slowly, picking up the pieces of his once happy life. He still isn’t sure how he will put them back together. Still isn’t even sure he can, or that he wants to try. The forest has become a refuge, a sanctuary for him to brood and wallow in his misery. The shadows adore him, welcoming him like an old lover might. He has stopped fighting them, stopped trying to resist their magnetic pull. He had finally realized just how futile the fight had been. Besides, it seems they are the only solace left to him now. He doesn’t see her at first, isn’t even paying attention. His brown eyes are unfocused, head dropping low, the ever present shadows still and quiet for the first time in ages. He doesn’t register her approach until his name slips into the air on a quiet exclamation. He blinks, focuses. Chocolate eyes fix upon her familiar dark form, a sight for sore eyes. One of the few he has not yet managed to fail so spectacularly. Ilka. He breathes her name in disbelief, unnameable emotion filling that single syllable. For a moment, he is afraid she might be a phantom, whisked away by the next breeze. But then she takes another step forward, soft words laced with heartache and sorrow. He could no more resist her than he could resist a typhoon. He closes the distance between them. She is real and solid, her presence soothing an ache in his chest he hadn’t known was there. He presses against her, crushing her in a desperate embrace. His muzzle falls softly against her dark skin, eyes squeezing shut to hold back tears that suddenly wish to fall. I know. His words are quiet, fractured. He does know, perhaps more than anyone else. It’s so much worse. shahrizai hestoni x scorch RE: fault lines tremble underneath my glass house; shah - Ilka - 12-31-2015 Her name on his lips, one word, two syllables, just an exhale of sound catching in the wind and she can feel her heart trembling in her chest. It beats and aches and batters at the confines of her ribs like a bird trapped in a small cage. She blinks once and time seems to slow down for a moment. Those dark eyelashes like spiders racing across her skin, the sound of his hooves in the loamy forest floor echoing each pounding beat of her racing heart. Still she does not move, but she does not have to and suddenly Shah is wrapped around her in the warmest embrace, though there is the hint of something urgent in the way his nose dances across the crushed velvet of her skin. She feels it too, like the static and steel trembling in the air before a storm. ILKA makai x oksana RE: fault lines tremble underneath my glass house; shah - Shahrizai - 01-02-2016 All things are possible, even the worst of things. For a single, perfect moment, she melts into his embrace, her warmth against his, two pieces of puzzle meant to fit together. But it cannot last. He knows this. Even so, when he feels her stiffen against him, feels her draw away, the urge to pull her back, to crush her against him and never let her go, is nearly overwhelming. Once, such a thought would never have crossed his mind. Once, he had been a kind and selfless man. He is no longer that man. But, in the end, he lets her go. Just as he had let her go all those long months ago. She doesn’t leave him though, not really. She is still there, her comforting warmth only inches from him, her luminescent eyes filled with far too much sadness, his name heavy upon her lips. She gazes up at him for long moments. He can only stare back, his eyes filled with too many emotions and his throat seized with too many unsaid words. And then she is against him again, her delicate frame supported, cradled, by his sturdy strength. Her lips are tracing his shoulder just as his own press into the velvety skin of her withers, warm breath fanning her dark coat. The desperation in her touch matches his, an unwitting echo. The memories rest too heavily upon his mind, ones she knows nothing about. Ones he should not burden her with. But he is too weak. He has always been too weak, though he is only now realizing it. She is pulling away from him again, her lips moving softly against him. He leans into her touch, unconsciously savoring every bit of affection she is willing to offer. A drowning man clutching at the tiniest piece of driftwood. But then her touch is gone and his gaze latches upon delicate features shrouded in shadows and secrecy. He wants nothing more than the draw those shadows away, to remove every ounce of pain and uncertainty she is feeling. But alas, these are shadows he has no control over. So instead he draws the shadows around them, surrounding them in a cocoon of safety and privacy, ensuring that the outside world will not intrude. Ensuring that this delicate moment will not be broken. Her words cause the breath to leave his lungs, cause his heart to seize in his chest. In that moment, he wishes she had stayed. Wishes they were both still so bright and innocent as they had been when first they had met. Wishes that things had not happened the way they had. Ilka... Her name is wreathed in sadness, that single word speaking far more than the hundreds of others he might have said. He leans into her, muzzle pressing softly against her dark neck, cocoa colored eyes falling closed. Tell me. He breathes the words softly into her skin, not a demand, but a plea. shahrizai hestoni x scorch RE: fault lines tremble underneath my glass house; shah - Ilka - 01-05-2016 She is like an injured bird in careful hands pressed close to the ache and thrum of his beating heart. It is in this place, in a moment that seems scooped out of time, cut away from the rest of the world that she finally feels a sense of quiet diving through the marrow of her trembling bones. “Shah.” She whispers again for what must be the hundredth time, melting readily beneath his greedy touches because for once she feels needed, for once she feels wanted and it is undoing the ice and steel and stone she wrapped so clumsily around her broken heart. ILKA makai x oksana RE: fault lines tremble underneath my glass house; shah - Shahrizai - 01-25-2016 All things are possible, even the worst of things. The feel of her flinching against him hits him like a physical blow. An ache settles into his gut as he knows an intense longing to wipe all fear and hurt from the burnished gold of her eyes. He thinks that perhaps in this small way, he might too be able to alleviate all of the pain and anguish that echoes through him. That in one small, impossible act, he could make everything right again. But he cannot make everything right again. Nothing can ever be made as it was. He cannot turn back time, cannot erase what had happened to them. And one small, shameful part of him would not want to. That small kernel inside of him that understands everything he had gained could only have come from his loss. It has begun to take root, to blossom into a terrible understanding of what was and what had to be. But still, he wishes. He wishes for impossible things. He can see the indecision upon her features, can almost taste the truth that she wants to spill. But she resists, an action for which he cannot fault her. He resists too, holding tight to words that he longs to spill into ears that would hear and soothe, to engender an embrace that would act as a balm to his wounded soul. But he wants to, so badly. He is a selfish man. Why are you here, she asks. And for a moment, he is rendered still and speechless. He had never paused to consider why he still lingers here, even though he knows the answer. The words are there on the tip of his tongue, even as he wonders. But of course she had known. Why had he ever been here? ”I’m… hiding.” He answers her honestly, incapable of doing anything else. If there is anyone who would know of the need to run and hide, it would be she. She is the only one he could confide such a shameful secret to, the only one who might understand. Even as he says it, the shadows draw closer, enveloping them in a soothing twilight, wrapping them in a cocoon of silent warmth. He presses closer to her, eyes sliding shut as though to block out the shame of his actions. Her next words bring him back to reality, stunning him far more than her last words ever could have. Though, why he should have been surprised, he doesn’t know. His dark eyes fall to hers, tracing the curves of her face even as she stares at the grass beneath their feet. The barest hint of a smile touches his features then, the curve of his lips almost wistful. He had always loved children. In truth, he probably should have been a father long ago. But fate has always had a funny way of intervening even with the best laid plans. His plans, unfortunately, had never been laid that well. When he finally regains his senses, speech coming back to him in a burst, he asks the only thing he can think of. ”Really?” shahrizai hestoni x scorch Angsty Shah is so articulate :| RE: fault lines tremble underneath my glass house; shah - Ilka - 02-03-2016 She does not miss the way her question presses a stillness into his bones, into the quiet of those dark eyes. For a moment she wonders if maybe she’s pushed too hard, if she is forcing unwilling secrets from him. Her brow furrows quickly and those pale gold eyes flash as she stretches her nose to his cheek. Her lips brush the soft blue of his jaw and follow the slope of his chin to the corner of his lips as though she is trying to coax a smile from the quiet way he considers her. ILKA makai x oksana shah is the best ever D: <333 RE: fault lines tremble underneath my glass house; shah - Shahrizai - 02-24-2016 All things are possible, even the worst of things. If there is anyone that he holds no secrets from, it is she. Granted, he has few secrets, nor has he ever been very good at keeping them, but with her, there are no faces he needs to wear, no truths he needs to omit. Nor could he ever. She engenders too much feeling in him, too much trust, for him to ever have a hope of keeping a secret from her. So when the question is wrenched into the air, breaking against his eardrums with resounding wrongness, he cannot help his reaction. Drawing back, his velvety brown eyes find hers, wide with surprise. Never. The word is uttered with astonishing force and vehemence. There can be no question as to the honesty of his answer. He presses back into her again, longing only to pull her close, to share with her the truth that mere words cannot portray. He might be many things, but he could no more abandon her than he could lie to her. For a moment, he thinks on the vagaries of fate, on how she had come to be so much to him in such a short amount of time. Perhaps it is fate, or perhaps it is simply circumstance. Regardless, she had somehow managed to wedge herself firmly into his heart. He had thought his heart to broken to let anyone else in, but she had proven him so very wrong. A soft sigh escapes his lips when she settles back into his embrace, his relief at her acquiescence palpable. For a moment, he had feared she might draw away, might foster distance between them. It is a thought he simply cannot countenance. Her words settle his fears, drawing a smile to his dark lips. Me too. He whispers the words against her neck, soft and full of wistfulness. Me too. His smile deepens when she confirms her motherhood, his dark eyes seeking out hers, a faint hint of his old self sparkling within those immeasurable depths. His delight is followed by a sudden and intense longing, causing his smile to fade slightly. He has always wanted children of his own, tiny creatures who he could play with and tutor, but never before had he known such a deep desire for that seemingly distant dream. Perhaps it is simply the mention of her own children, or perhaps it is because he had finally found someone he could envision as a mother to not just her children, but their children. He is momentarily absorbed in the turmoil of his own thoughts, his own desires, when she mentions the shadows. His shadows. His first instinct is to withdraw in alarm. Those shadows had been his enemy for so long. It is only recently he had learned to embrace them, had come believe they were not merely a symptom of his stained soul. But she eases his fears in that way so uniquely hers, drawing him back in with her unwitting absolution. He relaxes against her as her golden gaze caresses his face, the corners of his lips turning upwards once more. When he finally speaks, responding to her open warmth and honesty, he says the first thing that comes to mind. Ilka. I… I want children. The moment the words leave his lips, he mentally kicks himself. For a man who had once been so silver-tongued, he sure is having trouble saying the right things. shahrizai hestoni x scorch Please excuse the word vomit :| |