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in the dark, you burn brighter; elaina - lilliana - 08-02-2019 You are a coward.
The thought has echoed within her head, resonated in the deepest caverns of her mind and has only grown louder and louder in the few months since she has come to Beqanna. She is not brave. She is the foolish, silly girl that so many dismiss her of being. Lilli, with those laughing blue eyes and her head in the clouds, is so easily dismissed as being too childish in her mannerisms and her thoughts. There has been a part of Lilli that has liked that facade because if she is do easily dismissed, it is so much harder to be disappointed in the characters that come and go in her life so easily. They can leave and Lilli can forgive them with a child's grace because she has none of the emotional baggage that comes along with getting older.
Coward.
Coward.
The voice has only chanted louder, demanding her to acknowledge the fact that she has known all along. She can smile and laugh, be the girl she has always been, but there is something there that wasn’t broken before. There is something dark and angry that she keeps buried, that she keeps pushing away because to acknowledge it is not something she knows how to do. The guilt is always there. There are days that she can keep it so far from her that Lilli can pretend it doesn’t exist. She pushes it so far away, adds layer upon layer until she thinks that she has finally conquered it. She can finally lay it to rest and find some peace, find some way to absolve herself of the sins that she has been coated in.
Lilli has never know regret. She has known disappointment but that has been kept at bay. Disappointment can be acknowledged and the crimson girl knows how to move on from that. The disappoints she has known have been slight in comparison to others and she uses that to not dwell on them. If anything, Lilli can take those disappointments and use them to paint an even brighter picture. She has known a few homes in a few years but her family has always been together. They clung to each other and persevered, kept moving forward when it might have been easier to let the loss of an ancestral home consume them. She has seen her mother, regal and fierce in her determination to provide for her family, fight and protect to secure a place for them. And she had seen that same mare become gentle and coaxing, easing the darkest parts of her sire when the ghosts of war had plagued him. She watched how together they balanced the other, became stronger and how that love not only sustained them but a family and a kingdom as well.
Here in the outskirts of Pangea, alone among the maples and the commanding mountains, Lilli chases the last remnants she has of those memories.
Beqanna had been home to her mother once. Aletta had seen the land divided and decided that the home of her ancestors wasn’t the place that she was looking for. In a twist of fate, the daughter is here instead. She knows that Pangea is one of the ancient places and Lilli can’t but wonder that perhaps, perhaps that might be some magic still here. There might be a remnant of the places her distant kin once knew, a part of the Dale or the other places they might have called home. In the memory of her parents, Lilli has set out to discover the last fragments of her family that she has left.
Coward, the thought echoes to her again, letting her know that she is not alone in the silence of the night. She is never alone. Aletta, Valerio, her siblings, Elena, Orani, they are kept as close to her heart as they have ever been and in a place that she is so unfamiliar with, she has turned them over and over again in her mind, going from memory to memory where she can repeat the words of her mother, father, cousin line for line and knows every outcome. She clutches them to her heart and Lilli sends a fervent prayer out into the night, hoping that wherever they are, they are happy. Coward, comes the voice again, taunting and cruel.
It breaks the memories and strips her bare of the protection they offer. It leaves her exposed and raw, resurrecting the guilt and loss, the very things she has fought so hard to hide.
There was a time when Lilli had fire. She has stared down the Winter King and even in the dark of the night, undead Underworld hadn’t scared her. She had been bold once, a lifetime ago. But the regret and the guilt have broken Lilliana in some way, taking something from her. It has changed her, the very thing she had been so afraid of. In the shadows, the maples all look the same. They loom in the shadows and she can feel her heart race, the pulse comes alive and quickens. Perhaps it is the stories of old magic, of Carnage but the crimson girl starts to see shapes in the darkness. The silence suddenly becomes unbearable, the atmosphere shifting into something eerie and expectant.
There was something out there waiting for her.
Hyaline might not seem so daunting under sunlight but drowning in the darkness of a new moon, Lilli walks faster. And upon deciding this was a bad idea, perhaps one of the worst she has ever considered, she turns. She is ready to run, to flee and never come to this forsaken place. Her mind reels with ghosts and evils, the terror coming in the form of night and pushes against her chestnut frame. It threatens to swallow her, to dissolve her into nothing and oblivion. She runs, runs and runs with all the speed she can muster. She is almost blind with the fear until a scent comes drifting down the wind. A sweet, familiar scent that is engraved on her heart. A smell that Lilli could discern among a million others even in a land as wild and as vast as this one.
Coward, the voice comes again, encouraging her to keep running.
But something inside the chestnut girl shifts and Lilli stops, letting the smell of sweat and fear surround her. For the first time in months, something outweighs the dismay, something is stronger than the dread. She knows that scent and Lilli goes against everything in her that tells her to run, goes the opposite way. The mare goes back through the trees, pausing where she needs to and then continuing follows it, follows it through the dark and the emptiness and against everything that tells her this is impossible. Lilli knows that this is most likely a trick of the mind, one of Beqanna’s fickle gods playing a trick on her or perhaps it is her desperate hope, blinding her to the rational. But she has to know.
The steps become determined and the scent, though changed and different, is still the same at heart. It is wild and bold, a shining light in the dark. And there in the dark, resting is the golden form of a mare that Lilli knows. It is her best friend, her cousin, her sister. Now the dark does push against Lilli and it terrifies her. There is a split second where she thinks it is a trick of the senses, of her aching heart wanting nothing more than to be reunited with Elena, her flame in the darkness. Somehow she closes the distance between them, the feeling in her feet gone replaced solely with the feeling of air and grace, of want and urgency and longing.
Coward, the voice comes fainter now, quieted the presence of perhaps the only one who could convince Lilliana otherwise. Her vision blurs then and Elena becomes a tangle of gold and shadow, of the trees of Hyaline and the night around them. ”Elena,” she chokes, the words somehow finding their way out. How she is here, Lilli doesn’t know. But as they have always been, Lilli is just grateful that she is somehow here.
@[Elaina] i caved
RE: in the dark, you burn brighter; elaina - Elaina - 08-03-2019
@[lilliana] RE: in the dark, you burn brighter; elaina - lilliana - 08-03-2019 She can still remember the day that Elena ended up on the outskirts of Murmuring Rivers. It had been the same day that Lilli learned what an orphan was. Aletta’s stride had been full of purpose and yet there was still patience there, just slow enough to allow her long-legged daughter to find her stride. The version Lilli had been given had been toned down. She knew nothing of Beylani’s illness or the tragic circumstances of Benjamin’s demise. All they had told her was that the little golden child had no parents. And to Lilli who only had a mother, it had seemed the saddest fate in the world. She can remember thinking that when she finally met the sunshine child, she would offer to share Aletta with her. Little girls cannot be without a mother. If only it had been that simple. When they had finally brought Elena into Murmuring Rivers with steady Marcelo leading the way, Lilli had stood back, peering at the palomino from beside her roaning older brother. She had expected someone so small and after everything she had been through, Lilli had thought to offer her comfort and friendship, shelter from the storm that had been raging. Instead, Elena had been so proud, a defiant tilt to her chin, in her bearing as if she was daring the fates to take something else from her. Lilli had been awed by her. She can remember her standing so still, her little form refusing to shake or give way to everything she had experienced – from the loss of her parents to the journey alone to Beyond. It was so much for one so small to endure and yet Elena had done it. It had been the start of a relationship where Elena would persevere and Lilli would be inspired, taking courage from her cousin and trying to find her own brave way in the world. Their relationship hadn’t been instantaneous, much to Lilli’s dismay. Elena had walls and barriers, as any one naturally would in the face of loss, that Lilli didn’t understand. It had taken what had felt like eons before Elena finally smiled at Lilli, finally acquiesced to a game of hide and seek and when she finally started offering her own secrets in response to Lilli’s own. It had been a shy, almost tentative bond at the start and as the months and years went by, as the experiences that would either define or break them happened, the bond became as unbreakable as steel, forged in the flame of time. When Frostbane had come to claim Elaina, Lilli was able to find her courage because her golden cousin was with her. When a new home would come and go, Lilli could adapt because Elena was always beside her. No matter how tumultuous the world might become, it was bearable because Elena was always there, always there with a ready grin and that daring spark in those amber eyes, ready to revive Lilli from whatever ills might have plagued her. Lilli’s world was a much better place because Elena was in it. Perhaps that has been the source of her problems now. So much has changed and Elena’s blazing courage, whatever little Lilli had kept with her, was almost ready to be extinguished. She is tired and alone, hurting and grieving and still dealing with all the emotions that come in the aftermath of situations that no one can find a reason for. Even though Lilli has been forging new relationships, trying to move forward and find a place for herself in Beqanna’s extensive lands, she has been learning that the past travels with you whether you exist in Culloden or the Falls or common lands here. She has been carrying this guilt, this grief and it has refused to lessen its grip on her no matter how hard she fights against it. The burden of it has been a heavy, exhausting burden and there has been no supporting shoulder for Lilli to lean on. There has been no flame to light her way. It is the longing for her family that has driven her to Hyaline. She has it heard it rumored that Pangea is part of the old lands, an old haunt of that fearsome god Carnage. That alone should scare her enough to avoid it but Lilli finds a shred a hope, a small ribbon of it still dancing within her crimson chest that thinks if she can find a part of the Dale, of any of the places that her ancestors had called home, then she can find some kind of acceptance of everything that has happened. It’s an absurd and fantastical thing for her to cling to but cling to it she does. In the emptiness of the night, Pangea and her new moon only prey on Lilli’s fears. The fear of the dark is something she has never outgrown, Frostbane and Underworld and all the other evils she has been afraid lurk in the shadows. Alone in these woods, the threat becomes as real to her as the day that they had found Frostbane smirking in the river, of Underworld creeping in the depth of shadows. And whats worse is that she doesn’t know Hyaline’s woods, isn’t familiar with any part of this land. It only emphasizes the panic and leaves her blind in the dark, fills her with the wild frenzy of fear. In the recesses of her mind, on the edges where rational thinking and logic are so hard to find, she thinks that the scent of Elena is impossible. There is no way that her beloved cousin could be here. It’s a coping mechanism, that flight part of her wanting something so desperately that she can conjure the image of Elena and call her here. But somehow the apparition speaks and she is warm, solid beneath Lilli’s wanting touch. ”Elena," she says again though the words are strangled, are full of disbelief and longing and ache. She has missed the shock on Elena’s lovely face because her face is so quickly buried into her cousin's golden neck. It is solid and whole, as real as the night is terrifying to Lilliana. ”How are you real?” she whispers. The warmth of Elena hits her like a summer storm. She is oh so wonderfully real beneath her touch. Lilli can feel the beating of her heart, can feel her chest rise and fall with the same frantic pace as her own. She doesn’t want to pull away from her cousin. There is a part of her that could stay there forever, feeling safe and complete for the first time in months. When she does find the strength to pull away and look at her cousin, shock and joy are mingled on every corner of Lilli’s face. Blue eyes find amber in the dark, finding wonder even in the cover of night. The questions build in her chest, build up with like a bubbling brook. ”What are you doing here?” she asks and almost immediately, Lilli wants to pull her cousin to her again. ”What are you doing in Pangea?” The thought seems ludicrous that all the places she would see Elena again would be here. And despite the night and its terrors, despite everything that Lilli has struggled against, the crimson girl smiles. ”It is so good to see you.” She tries to appraise Elena, her blue eyes seeking out Elena’s eagerly under the void of the new moon. How are you, she asks. And Lilli, unable to find an answer, stands stunned, groping for reason in the empty night. There is nothing to explain how they have been reunited, save for the grace of fates and divine beings. ”I think I’m okay now,” she says, almost without thinking, admitting all and nothing in the same breath. ”Tell me everything,” she says, not missing a beat. ”How are you?” @[Elaina] RE: in the dark, you burn brighter; elaina - Elaina - 08-04-2019
@[lilliana] RE: in the dark, you burn brighter; elaina - lilliana - 08-05-2019 Elaina says her name again, her name sounding so familiar and comforting from her cousin's mouth. Elaina has said her name a thousand times; through midnight whispers to youthful games. They have said each other's names a thousand times and upon hearing Elaina say it again, Lilli could hear it a thousand times more. She could never get tired of it. Her heart is close to bursting, is bursting, with the joy and the happiness and the relief she feels at seeing her sunshine cousin. Elaina has always been a beacon hope in the darkness, has always been a torch to light her way and it is no different now. Whether they are in Beyond or Beqanna, whether they are facing Underworld or teasing Alvaro, they are together and there is nothing that completes Lilli more than her golden cousin. The months hit her suddenly, a tsunami of emotion washing over Lilli and all she can do is feel everything. You look like you've seen a ghost, Elaina says and Lilli laughs, the midnight spell broken. "What would you call yourself then?" And though the laughter is warm, though Lilli is smiling, there is something that flashes across her eyes. She had never expected to see Elaina again. What she had expected for the future... well, Lilli didn't know. She had just known that she had to leave. But here is Elaina, bright in the darkness, glowing on a night when there is no moon and Lilli still can't escape the shock of seeing her beloved cousin again. Her best friend. Her sister. She had thought that she had closed a chapter on her life and here was Elaina, ready to start over again with Lilli. If she had only known.. and yet, how hadn't she have known? Elaina had the beauty of being one of the most stubborn horses she has ever known (this includes her mother and father) and there is a part of Lilli that isn't surprised at all, that murmurs in the back of her mind 'are you really so shocked?' And even when Lilli's mind tries to reach for a reason, she smiles. Elaina has always defied logic. Overwhelmed by emotion, she moves forward. Her chiseled face reaches towards Elaina's until their foreheads touch, one lightly pressing against the other. Lilli lingers thing letting the feel of her cousin wash over her, letting the smell fill her soul and letting the darkest parts of her finally illuminate. It has been so long since she has embraced anyone, been embraced by anyone that sensation immediately gives way to comfort and security. She closes her eyes and just lets herself stay there, wrapped up in everything that Elaina is and at the moment that they find themselves. Elaina doesn't know how afraid Lilli has been, how hard she has tried to be brave in the face of change. She has felt so lost, more so than she has ever been. And to find her cousin now consoles Lilli in a way that she didn't know she needed, how desperately she needed. Elaina is the answer to a fervent plea, a prayer wrapped up in a canvas of beautiful gold. She breathes gently and stares into the amber eyes that look back at her. Finding strength and peace, she fulls away from Elaina. Her scent still lingers in her nostrils, on her skin, in the air around them. It is Lilli's turn to be slightly confused. "Kensa?" she asks, her head tilting ever so slightly. Her eyes look away from Elaina to the abyss around them, trying to make out the Hyaline that she speaks of. It all looks like shadow and darkness to the chestnut girl. "I don't know it," she replies, still feeling new and infantile by Beqanna standards. Ir feels like a foolish thing to say as she stands in Hyaline now. It had all been Pangea to her, a place of the old gods and magic. She dismisses the night around then and by the time her blue eyes return to Elaina, she grins. It lights up her face, banishing any doubt or concern Lilli might have originally had. Her cousin's question, however, makes the smile falter and allows the shadows of night to come calling. "I'm sorry," she murmurs quietly and somehow Lilli still finds the bravery to meet her cousin's questioning gaze. "You were gone," she replies, stating another obvious fact. "Malachi was taking his family to Ethos and Mother was waiting for Father.. I just wanted a change. I needed something different.. after everything that happened," comes the quiet admission. His name hangs unspoken between them and Lilli can't bring herself to say it though she feels his presence even here. And then she is so grateful for Elaina. There are so many things to speak of and she feeds the girl every piece of news she has longed for since she has left home. The spell is broken and Broch is gone. In his place is an earnest expression, Lilli wanting to know everything Elaina has seen and everywhere she has been. "Bri? And Roland?" she almost squeals this, so delighted to hear that her early guesses about Brynn's eldest son and her older sister were correct. "They have a child?" That comes as a surprise, perhaps as big as Elaina's presence here. She laughs and smiles wistfully, nodding as her cousin continues to talk. "I believe it. If she's anything like you, it wouldn't be shocking at all." There is a longing then and part of her wishes she had gone to Windskeep. She wishes she could see the place where so many members of her family dwell, to know the place that so many of them gave their lives for. The place that her father almost died for. The yearning grows for a moment and Lilli thinks that someday, she will go to Windskeep. Someday. The chestnut tosses her head playfully, sending crimson locks cascading down her slender neck. "What haven't I been up to?"she smiles teasingly. "And I've met a few someones. There's been Neverwhere and Brazen and Bane and Pond and a few others," Lilli retorts. But all teasing aside, she softens. "I've been living in a place called Taiga. It's in a place called Nerine. It has a lot of trees but it isn't all that bad," she adds, hopefully painting enough of a picture that Elaina doesn't worry. When the moment quiets and peace finally replaces the excitement, Lilli circles around the backside of her cousin and slides along next to her, gold melting into auburn. In the serenity of night, under a blanket of stars, Lilli looks up to them and can't help but smile. She feels beholden to those stars and Lilli has no idea what she might offer them at that moment. Blue eyes glance back to her cousin, happy and content to simply rest beside her. "And what about you?" she murmurs. "What trouble have you been stirring? I hope you're not already leading some poor soul on a merry dance," she laughs, memories of days gone by flashing before her. Part of her wonders if she should ask about Aerwir. But if Elaina is here and he is not then that particular issue never got solved. She decides to say nothing, to simply stand shoulder to shoulder under a summer sky and finally find the peace, tranquility, love that she has been so badly needing with the one she has always counted on, who always came when Lilli needed her most. @[Elaina] RE: in the dark, you burn brighter; elaina - Elaina - 08-08-2019
@[lilliana] RE: in the dark, you burn brighter; elaina - lilliana - 08-10-2019 Lilli stands before Elaina, still mystified. That smile quirks, coming lopsided as it so often does when she feels at ease when she can be herself. ”Ye old Legacy clan?” She laughs then, a pretty bright thing in Hyaline’s darkness. ”You sound like Jay now,” she replies, thinking of her wise and all-knowing older brother. ”Where, oh mythical spirit, are you guiding me?” Lilli grins at her cousin, inviting and hoping for another jesting reply. As her blue eyes continue to absorb Elaina’s lovely golden form, Lilli can’t help but feel grateful she is here. The crimson girl has tried and struggled to find her way, to find herself again here and Elaina serves as a reminder of who she once was, of who she could be again. The little chestnut filly from Murmuring Rivers was a long way from the sheltered borders of the land she had been born to. Elaina comes as a beacon in the darkness. Elaina laughs and to Lilli, it is the most beautiful sound in the world. It echoes within in the recesses of her ears, lights her soul and banishes the pain that has been festering within her like an infection. When the laughter dies and the night quiets again, her blue eyes lock with Elaina’s amber ones and love is so bright within her own, shining out into in the darkness. Of all the things Lilli has needed these past few months, Elaina is the one to absolve her of all her fears and worries, to ease her sorrow and to make her laugh again. Divinities, gods, fates, whatever has a hand in this thanked with each soft and peaceful breath that comes from the young chestnut mare. Lilli studies her cousin and then looks out into the darkness again, her gaze searching for shapes and formations in the shadows. She wonders what about Hyaline reminds Elaina of Windskeep. And the thought comes again that she should see the land of her ancestors, the place that her father lingered so long in. Was he there now? Had Elaina seen him on her most recent journey? Unable to discern anything but trees, she turns her attention back to her palomino cousin. The fresh scent of running water, the sweet scent of cherry wood settles itself on Lilli’s nostrils and she wonders what this place must look like in the hours of daylight. Perhaps Pangea isn’t entirely a wasteland like she has heard. ”No,” comes Lilli’s gentle reply. ”I had been staying in the Common Lands.. down by the River because it reminded me of where I was born. I found a corner just like our favorite bend,” she smiles then, wistful in memory. Elaina tells her to not be sorry but there is a part of Lilli that feels like a part of this is her fault. If she had just been more patient, if she had just waited then the two of them.. could have what? Waited in Beyond? What would they have waited for? Malachi to make a decision? For Valerio to return? For Broch? She turns her head then, inclines it gently and touches her cousin's lovely cheek lightly. There is still a touch of apology there, something that Lilli refuses to let herself wash completely clean of. It is an apology for everything – for Aerwir, for the months that followed, for not being there when Elaina returned. She says her father's name and Lilli pauses then, her expression giving way to sadness. ”No,” she whispers in a way that gives admission to the pain and worry. ”You know how Mama is though.. she refuses to leave without him.” Lilli has a hard time saying those words and they threaten to break apart. It brings her last memory of her silver mother to mind, Aletta looking so resolute on her mountain. It had been the last place that Valerio had been with her and her mother had been so determined that she be there when he came for her as the gray woman so absolutely believed he would. Lilli prayed that he would, that he already had. If anyone deserved a fairy tale ending, it had been her parents. ”They are supposed to explore the world together,” she murmurs. Her features brighten at her cousin’s next words, the smile spreading and Lilli finds herself laughing again. ”Is it really so shocking? Can you see Bri with a son?” Her eyes crinkle at the corners then as she imagines her creamy sister with this feisty daughter, thinking that Brielle deserved nothing less. The mention of Liam only incites further laughter and bubbles out into the summer night around them, drowning out any song that the crickets or frogs might otherwise offer. The laughter dims again and Lilli reaches for her cousin’s neck, another reaffirming touch as Elaina expresses her thoughts. Lilli finds herself at a loss at what to say, at what kind of consolation she could give in Elaina’s circumstance. The loss of a parent, of both parents, is something that the inner child might never overcome. It would always be a scar that Elaina would always have, a burden she would always carry. Lilli glances to her cousin then, hoping to convey the love and the notion that Elaina wouldn’t have to carry that burden alone. Lilli would shoulder it with her. The conversation moves forward and Elaina’s question of why she chose to go to Taiga brings an image of a certain palomino stallion to mind. She banishes that, another improbability and something else that just further confuses her. She shrugs then, turning her gaze from her cousin just in case that the golden mare might be able to see the flicker of uncertainty that comes. ”It seems nice,” she says vaguely. ”Quiet in a way that reminds me of home.” She searches for something out in the darkness just long enough to hope that Elaina might become distracted with her, the pair of them looking for something that doesn’t exist. Her gaze turns to the stars, standing alone with her thoughts but whole with Elaina beside her. Lilli takes her blue eyes from the stars then and turns her head slightly inward to Elaina so she can fully meet her gaze. ”Not at all,” she affirms, whispering the words solemnly below the stars ethereal gaze. The crimson girl understands this completely and she studies Elaina, she thinks that the golden mare with her directness and her intensity had the potential to be a great politician. ”I think you’d be a wonderful politician and that whatever realm you represented would be lucky to have you on their side.” @[Elaina] RE: in the dark, you burn brighter; elaina - Elaina - 08-17-2019
@[lilliana] RE: in the dark, you burn brighter; elaina - lilliana - 08-18-2019 Why does everything else have to be so hard? Wrapped beneath their midnight blanket, with the air clean and crisp with Autumn coming, the thought comes so clearly to Lilli. Everything else around them has been so complicated and jagged, sharp corners threatening with serrated edges ready to rip her open. It catches in her throat then - grief, loss, exhaustion, confusion - and Lilliana feels so tired. She can feel it want to rise, the emotions begging Lilli to give them life but even now she refuses. She peers at her cousin from underneath her forelock and Lilli wonders if Elaina knew how much she admired her. Surely by now, she must know. But since the time they were fillies, Lilliana has wanted nothing more than to be like her fire cousin. She has wanted to be brave, to be bold, to be able to greet each dawn with that determined face of courage. Even more so, Elaina had the power to heal what was broken. The first memories are hazy but Lilli can remember watching with amazement as the palomino had sewn sinew and skin, had made a foalhood injury disappear under her (then) limited knowledge of Legado's gift. She had thought that maybe like Elaina, she might find a way to mend what was broken. Lilli did not know anything about healing. She had no skill in wielding power like that even the help of the Falls. But the seed had planted in her mind that maybe she could help smooth the rough corners of others, that she might find a way to help ease and soothe the souls of others. She has tried so hard: Aletta and the way she closed herself off completely, refusing to let the world know how broken her heart was. Elaina who had so many scars of her own and Lilli tried to ease them with words, with actions, with whatever she could do to let her cousin know that in their little home, she was beloved. She tried it with Orani, another little girl hurting from an absent father. She tried with Malachi and Brielle and Jay and all of them. She had worked so hard to mend, to weave the aching parts into something else entirely. Lilli, for as much as she buries her hurts, had tried to make the broken hearts and the grief and the pain of others into something beautiful. To let them know that they are beautiful and that whatever they think is broken only makes them strong. How ironic is it hat the girl who has wanted to save everybody else can't save herself? This moment between them is achingly easy, so simple and beautiful in a way that nothing else is in Lilli's world. The ease that they come together only highlights that fact so blatantly. "Oh mystical being," she teases before she presses her head into the curve of Elaina's lovely neck. "I have the navigational abilities of a rock. Any path I take is bound to lead me to a dead end." Her breath comes warm and she smiles, giving it as an offering to her cousin. Elaina makes her feel whole, takes those ragged corners that she tries so hard to conceal and makes them soft, more forgiving. She exhales and pulls away, allowing the cold air to slip between them again. "I loved that bend," she whispers, remembering wildflowers and the sound of laughing water. It was a memory from a past life. Her face warms and softens at the mention of their cousins and Lilli hopes that wherever they are, they have managed to find some happiness. "I'm sure they're all together in Paraiso." Her smile quirks, "And I'm sure that Alvaro is the ball of sunshine he has always been." She misses her eldest brother, his serious thoughts and his sage words. She misses his bright smile, a reward that never came often enough. Her expression changes, the smile fades and she looks to Elaina. It isn't a sympathetic look but one of complete understanding. If anyone understands that feeling, it would be Elaina and Lilli. "I know," she adds, almost sadly and gives the golden mare a similar answer to the one she gave Wolfbane. "It was insanity. I couldn't do it anymore. I just saw all my days passing by, doing the same thing, waiting... waiting for what?" she asks rhetorically, the reply the closest the crimson mare will come to bitterness. There is an angle to her jaw, a steeliness to her blue eyes that make her a mirror of her warrior father at that moment. "Duty before love," she whispers. "What a price it demands, Elaina. How do they pay it?" The night envelops Lilli again and she huddles closer to her cousin, letting her familiar form melt and meld with Elaina's. The two of them fit together as they always have: from awkward adolescent angles to the soft, rounded curves they now carried. Lilli closes the space where the chilly air had once been and basks in the warmth of her cousin. Her gaze is speculative and the chestnut mare is uncharacteristically melancholy at that moment, all the talk of her parents and what wasn't and what should have been still lingering in the front of her mind. She exhales gently though she doesn't look to Elaina. Whatever has gripped itself around Lilli's heart is released into the air around them and the chestnut mare thinks. An ear flicks and then Lilli manages to look at Elaina, love illuminating every corner of her face. "You think so?" A quiet life could be well warranted after everything they have been through. Life beneath the solace of the Redwoods could be what she has been seeking. The question lingers between them and the more that Lilli contemplates it, the more tempting that peace sounds. The chestnut softens and glances sidelong at her cousin, that familiar impish smile mixed with affection and tenderness. "Really? I didn't know that," she teases as she gently presses her shoulder into Elaina's, feeling secure and whole beside her. And for a minute, the teasing facade falls replaced only by her genuine concern that her cousin knows how important she is. "Your mine too. I couldn't do this without you, Elaina. I'd be lost without you." @[Elaina] RE: in the dark, you burn brighter; elaina - Elaina - 08-25-2019
@[lilliana] |